To Sleep or Not to Sleep! (In Mummies Bed)

[Peach]

I have made a decision to try and wean Kenzie out of my bed and into her cot, she is 7 1/2 months old... this is what happened in the last 2 days ...

Last night I put her in her cot and she SCREAMED like the neighbours must have thought I was hurting her I got some books and she stopped right away and smiled (she lurrrves books) So I read her about 6 books then started singing songs. After the second song I turned out the light while still singing. Then I patted her belly and she went off to sleep .. I thought YEAH! I did it... So I caught up with some house work and about 30 mins later she started crying. This was about 11pm. Then she cried and I went in and repatted her off to sleep .. then she woke up every 5 minutes untill 230am. I had had enough gave in and took her to my bed where her and I slept solid till 8am ..

Tonight ... I put her in her cot and she screamed 10 times louder than last night .. like tantee cry she was going all stiff and kicking profusly. This went on for about 30 mins while I was trying to pat her. I picked her up she stopped and smiled. I gave her the breast and she fed herself to sleep and I put her in the cot .. she stayed asleep. 5 minutes later she was screamming again. I picked her up and rocked her back off to sleep and put her in the cot.. 5 minutes later she woke up .. this time I patted her off to sleep and she is still asleep now 20 minutes later.... wish me luck tonight!!!! Can you think of anything I'm doing wrong?? I feel responsible for her going through this because she is s unbelieveabler close to me wand wants to be with me 24/7.

[Nadine216]

Personally I think it's going to take more than two days to get her "used" to not sleeping with you BUT - BIG BUT, whatever is more comfy for you
If you value your sleep, let her sleep with you. WHY do you want to get her out of your bed? Not WHY you should, just WHY do YOU want her out of your bed???
I just moved dd out of my room this past weekend, because I had this "thing" in my head that a one year old must not sleep in her mother's room and babies much smaller than her is sleeping in their own rooms yada-yada. She is doing great, I have empty-room-sindrome, but I could have let her sleep there till she was 21. I know not the same. My point is do what you feel is best and right, not what is "best" and "right" in sociaties (sp) view, kwim??

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

With DS, his first sleep was always in the cot then when he woke he was in with me.

Where are her day sleeps? Wean her off you for those first, it may help.

DS decided at 9-10m old he would no longer feed to sleep, so I stopped offering. He then decided he didn't want to sleep with me (he only likes me for my breasts... I thought no longer being a teenager meant I could stop moaning about that LOL) so stays in his cot all night.

It was a very gradual process though.

Best of luck to you!

[Peach]

Well last night she ended up screaming the house down so she ended up in my bed again at about 12.50
Try again today for day sleeps

[Arimeh]

Good luck Jen. I'm glad that I don't have this problem, my DS has always slept in his own cot,the few times he has been sick and really unsettled we tried to have him in bed with us to settle him and it didn't work!! So we have the opposite problem..!!!
But good luck :-)

[cindyb]

GOod luck with this one! We had a similar situation and ended up going to sleep school which was ok - not that she was very happy with us. we just couldng keep her in our bed any longer though as she used to be half asleep and would crawl off the end of the bed no matter what we did to keep her 'safe' had quite a few frights with her screaming after falling off the bed during the night.....


Is she sleepingin the cot during the day?

[Peach]

Kenzie has crawled off the bed twice now .. and we have had about 3 near miss's so this is part of the reason I want her in her own cot. The other reason is for her day sleeps she used to be happy with me just laying with her untill she fell asleep and then I would get up and she would sleep fine. Now she expects me to sleep next to her for the entire sleep, if I get up she immediatly wakes up and screams. She won;t go to anyone else without screaming and then when she comes back to me she is all smiles. I realise that she has a strong attachment to me and I really love it don;t get me wrong I just need the time when she is asleep to 1. have a break and 2. to get some house cleaning done. My DH is getting annoyed because I am a SAHM and the house is a tip because I just cant leave her.

Nadine :: I know what you mean my MIL is COBSTANTLY telling me to get her out of our bed because her boys always slept in a cot.. but I am doing this for me and for her sake now she is crawling of the bed I would never forgive myself if she suffered a sever injury because if it.

Rosehip Fairy :: I have decided to put her cot in our room, one of the other girls suggested this so I am going to give it a try and put it next to our bed and see how it goes. Wish me luck!

Aricyns Mum :: You are lucky believe me!

Cindy B :: What do they exactly do at sleep school?? IS it controlled crying? I try to put her in her cot during the day but mostly she ends up sleeping in her swing. I am trying so hard to to put her to bed in my bed but someday I just need a break from the crying ykwim ?

[Kazbah]

Jen - my Pip (who doesn't co-sleep really) has started doing the same thing - they're at the age where they realise they are a separate person to Mummy. So some of the screaming may just be that next stage in her development, and not because she's overly attached, IYKWIM?

Having said that, I now bring Pip into bed with me in the mornings only when he's teething - he will smile at me if he's in pain and scream if I'm not there - could Mackenzie be teething at all?

Look luck with it all!

[Ozziehoffy]

Jen, maybe try putting a shirt or pj's that you've been wearing with her for your smell?? Also, is the cot in your room or her own room? Not sure if you mentioned that. I used to have Oskar sleep with me at times, but got too scared of him falling out and couldn't sleep properly, so I started to put him in his cot during the day for sleeps and now his cot is next to my side of the bed in our room and that's where he'll be until I can bear for him to be on his little lonesome...lol. I hope something works for you.

[Beach Mama]

Jen - I agree with maybe getting her used to it just for days sleeps and step up from there.
FWIW- We went to sleep school a little while ago, Im not sure that any of them do CC anymore, but what they do is called Responsive Settlng. Basically you go in and out the babies room as you feel you need to. If their crying is too intense, or you need a break etc. but basically you pat the mattress, bubby, using soothing sounds like ssshhhhh and leave when they have settled and then go in and out as you feel you need to. It is not timed at any stage but the whole point is that baby gets the point that you are there and will comfort them but wont pick them up. It can take 2-3 weeks using this method, we found it was much quicker than that but it is tough and you need to be consistent with whatever you decide as they get confused.
If you are interested there are podcasts you can listen to on the QEC website
HERE is the link - I hope its ok mods and I hope it helps even a tiny bit. We have modified it to suit us, and have gone from her waking every 2-3 hours for a feed, to waking twice a night right now, so an improvement but she still wont self settle at night - days are great so go figure!! Must be because its dark! Good luck!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

DS fell out the bed at 6m (very relieved that I'm not the only person this happened to now!) so I switched to a camp-bed that was very close to the floor and a duvet on the floor too, jic.

We went from him going to sleep in my arms to his bed. We would put him down 95% asleep and pat, then put him down 50% asleep and pat, then just as he started closing his eyes, then awake... took me over an hour the first night, almost 2 hours, to get him to sleep just patting. But now it's 20 minutes tops, more usually 5-10.

Then again, there are the odd 2 hour stretches overnight. Just a 30min and a 40min one last night. So I can't really help too much, sorry.

ETA: patting to sleep, he did whinge but only as a tantrum, not because he was really upset. He did occasionally get upset and then I picked him up to calm him, but back into bed awake. It depends if you're OK with the tantrumming or not, it is only because he is starting to get more toddlerish and demanding his own way rather than needing it that I was OK with this. There's a big difference between a tantrum and a real cry, else I couldn't have done it.

[Peach]

I think Mackenzie and I might had some sort of virus .. or just days of not getting solid sleep are catching up. I put her to bed in her cot this afternoon (I moved it into my room right next to my bed with the side off) and she didnt settle. I gave her some cuddles in my bed with the intention of putting her back, but we both fell asleep and slept till 7.30 pm! I felt so much better for the sleep ... but little Kenzie was snuggled up right beside me and of course when I went to get out her little eyes opened and she was in play mode!!

So at 10pm I decide that its time for bed and she had been fed / bathed / had dinner etc.. and I put her in her cot and layed in my bed literally right next to her.. and she wasnt happy! So I fed her while she was laying in her cot and she went to sleep. I layed there next to her for about 20mins and it seems that she is getting startled by something every 10 mins or so and reaches out to touch me, if I am next to her she settles back to sleep straight away. If she can't reach me then she wakes up and screams! Its 1am now and she has been aleep in her cot for about an hour now with out wakeing so hopefully tonight might be the turning point for her getting used to sleeping in her cot and well take baby steps from there.

Kazbah :: Mackenzie is definalty cutting some teeth, but she is happy all throughout the day its only sleep time when I try to put her in her own cot that we are having problems.

Ozziehoffie :: I have moved the cot from her room to our room now so well see how that goes!

Tanstar :: Thank you so very much for the link to QEC. I have never heard of them so hopefully they might be able to steer me in the right direction. How did you cope with Izzy screaming and not picking her up? I tried with Kenzie but she screamed and was looking at me like I was abandoning her or something. Its so hard... but I know its for her own good in the end.

Rosehip Fairy :: I will often put Kenzie to sleep in my arms and *try* to put her in her cot, but she will wake up immediatly. She does tantrum and cry but its only because she wants cuddles from her mummy .. not because she wants her own way i think can 7 month olds tantrum like a toddler?