I never even contemplated co-sleeping before I got pregnant. I'm ashamed to admit I thought it was dangerous, created bad habits and was reflective of needy parenting. Oh how my views have changed with all the reading I've been doing and with my growing attachment to my little belleh-monster! I can't wait to snuggle in with her.
BUT... hubby is still pretty skeptical. He is an extremely heavy sleeper (I can roll him out of bed and he'll hit the floor and not wake up!!) so fears that he will smother bubs inadvertently. He is not a heavy drinker but does often have a beer or two after work and I too am afraid that this will compromise our little girl's safety.
The other issue is bedding - I get SO cold and really love my doona. What's the alternative? When it says 'no adult bedding' in a co-sleeping article, what does that mean? Hubby is very asthmatic and has really reacted to blankets in the past which is why we have a doona instead. What do you use to keep warm but keep baby safe?
One alternative that you may consider with co-sleeping is a co-sleeping baby crib. they are pretty much a 3 sided cot that is pushed up against your bed so you can still cuddle and feed but maybe avoid some of the tricky situations like a really heavy sleeper...
the 'bednest' i have heard was a feature on the UNICEF website for awhile there...
That's is similar to what I've been thinking Clare... that maybe I just have the bassinet / cradle (haven't bought one yet) at bed height and just be able to reach over and pat her or grab her for a quick snuggle and then put her back where I know she's safe.
Have a look at the arms reach baby bassinets. These are three sided, at bed hight so it is like sleeping with baby but as Cassius said allows you to have baby with own bedding and in its own space. But easy for Mum to snuggle and BF. Google it and have a look, I really think this may be the best option for you due to you DP's heavy sleeping. Once baby is born when it is at times just you and baby, you can snuggle in bed together and get to know what feels right and not.
Personally I'm not sure if it would work for us as DS likes to actually be touching me when he sleeps however I have heard a lot of other people have found them quite good. Some people take the side off the cot and put it next to the bed and we tried that but it left a nasty gap I imagine he could roll into so a purpose built cosleeper may be better.
Another option- would you and your husband be willing to sleep separately for some/all of the night? My DP sleeps in another bed if she has had a drink or sometimes just so we can all sleep better.
I think some people recommend to have baby between mum and the side of the bed anyway as apparently fathers are not as aware as mothers of the baby's movements (I don't know how others have found this in practice) but if your husband could be rolled out of bed asleep then he probably sleeps too soundly to be next to baby.
As for bedding- i was wearing warm winter PJ's with a dressing gown or fleecy jacket on top and just had the blanket up to my waist. Now it has been warmer we don't use any bedding. I think when winter comes I will try and heat the room rather than using heavy bedding. We have found it tends to work better if DP and I have separate single blankets. DP sort of wraps the blanket around her legs like a sleeping bag (she doesn't move much in her sleep).
We had our son sleeping with us fulltime from birth. We just used our doona still. He was so little that placed up the top of the bed between our pillows it wasn't on him anyway. He never wriggled down but I figured when he started wriggling down he could wriggle up too so I didn't personally stress over it. He stopped sleeping with us full time a few months ago now and now he will hardly sleep with us at all. We miss him in the bed but whenever I try he just crawls around and hits us no matter how tired he is. Enjoy every precious moment- cosleeping is wonderful and feels so right.
Ok This is going to sound really niave but I have to ask as this has been bugging me for ages. (sorry to take over your thread katabellah)
Olive and I usually sleep together in the mornings and afternoons which we both love but she sleeps in her cot of a night. Anyway I was wondering, when you co-sleep full time do you DTD with your partner/husband somewhere else or how does that work? TMI I know so you can tell me to MYOB but just curious.
hehe nice question
We DTD in the shower, or in the bed but I put Ash in his cot haha
I wouldn't co sleep with bub in the middle if DH is that heay a sleeper and drinks beer at night. It is dangerous. What I would do is buy one of those 3 sided cots that attach to your bed so bub is on the other side of you still within reach and you don't have to pick bubs up or anything because they will be right there, at your height, within reach.
OR you could buy one of those side rails, the ones that sit on top of the mattress so there is no gap (safety first I think?) and have bubs between you and the rail.
I really wouldn't sleep with bubs in the middle though. And a doona is really a no go. If you had a side rail you could fold it under the mattress or rail and have bub on top.
I co sleep, but I have a double bed and a king doona so it helps with the folding under the bed and having bub on top because when I move there is heaps of spare doona.
Iv'e bought "my little bed" and it lies in between DH and I in bed. It's got hard sides, but low (about 15 cm). That way I can have my hand on bub, and just pick bub up to feed and put next to me, but there is no way anyone can roll onto the baby. We do have a king size bed, so there's room, but it's not that wide anyway (the baby bed) and I always felt afraid last time with DD2 that DH would roll on her.
This also has a velcro thing that is good for keeping baby; on their back. xo
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