Would you let your 5 year old travel as an unaccompanied minor?

[LimeSlice]

I need some help, a bit of a pickle.

ExDH has just been here for a week to visit the girls. First time he has seen them (aside from Skype!) since we left on June 10th. He cannot get any more time off work for another visit until after the new year. Due to his 4 on/4 off roster and the geographically remote location of his work, visiting on his RDOs is just not feasible.

As it stands, I have an *almost* 5 year old and an 18 month old. Flying to and from Perth for all 3 of us, is a very expensive venture, to say the least. Money we (ex and I) simply don't have.

I have been trying to come up with ways for us to be able to get the girls to him before the end of the year. He is working Christmas Day and NYE, so they are all out, not to mention the sheer cost of tix at that time is impossible for our budget. Ex suggested some time ago the notion of DD1 traveling as an unaccompanied minor to see him. I said no way, aside from thinking she was much to young policy-wise to fly unaccompanied, I have a hard time dealing with thoughts of "what if..." if she were alone on a flight.

Well, it seems I was wrong. According to Qantas, at the age of 5, she CAN travel as an unaccompanied minor on a domestic flight!
Now, my issue is really purely in terms of emergencies. She has flown more times than she hasfingers to count on, and loves planes, flying and has a ball. The hostesses dote on her something chronic and she is apple of everyone's eye. LOL She is generally very independent and happy to amuse herself with colouring, toys and movies and food I am sure.
I have no doubt she would be a bit wary of flying without me though, but this is something I am sure would be cured by attentive hostesses.

So my question is, would you allow your 5 year old frequent flyer, to travel 4 hours on a plane without an adult? Am I being a bit OTT, surely in event of emergencies there would be a hostess who would be responsible solely for her, or not?

I really don't want to keep the girls from ex, and they adore him so desperately, but I am just really not sure I am comfortable with her traveling alone. Would like some honest views on this please.

[Arimeh]

Not my 5 year old. But boys are a little less mature than girls - we all know that

[peanutter]

Not a chance, personally.

This isn't about maturity - my sister walked 2kms to and from school every day by herself from 4 years old, when I was 4 I did it with her, by the time I was 9 I was taking my 5 and 7 year old brothers with me, and doing chores and cooking before and after school.

BUT there was the time when a really friendly lady gave my brother a bag of lollies, and he ate half of them before I could remind him not to eat anything from strangers.

And there was the time when the big kid (he couldn't have been more than 12, but everything is big when you're 5yo and about 3 foot high!) threw a nappy at us, said all sorts of obscenities, threatened us, and chased us into someone's yard.

And there's the time when a man with a big dog was following us and he really, really frightened us.

And the time when someone pulled up in a big black van right beside us, and we RAN.

And the time someone (accidentally) ran into my sister on his bicycle and she got hurt.

And the time when it didn't occur to us that there was anything wrong with selling our fundraising chocolates to anyone who passed us along the way (sure, WE weren't to eat chocolate from strangers, but what's wrong with selling it to them?) and so we went with people to (but not into) their houses/cars to get money.

And the time it didn't occur to us that there was anything wrong with us having a play in the playground on the way home (but mum thought something was wrong, and came looking for us about an hour later ... we didn't realise we'd been playing so long!)

And lots of other things ...

All things which turned out ok - the lollies were probably fine, the creepy guy probably wasn't actually following us, the person who stopped their van right next to us was probably picking something up from that house or checking their Melways or whatever, etc etc etc. But you know what - some of those things could have gone wrong. We DID have people invite us into their homes, we DID have people offer us a lift home. We DID get frightened a few times, we DID get hurt a few times (usually from each other...). We DID have a complete blast, and I think walking to and from school and having a key to the house etc helped us become more independent, but on balance, I wouldn't be letting my kids walk 2kms unaccompanied from 4yo these days, and I wouldn't let my 5yo go on a plane unaccompanied. A little bit older, sure. Not sure how much older, but older.

I understand that there's a difference between planes and walking (it's a lot harder to get someone into your big black van or get bitten by a big dog on an aeroplane...) but I think the risk/independence/maturity thing is comparable.

I'm not sure whether the world is a less safe place these days, or whether we're just more aware of what's going on because information is so much more readily distributed ...

And that situation with that boy getting onto a flight unaccompanied and without a ticket doesn't help my concerns ... I'm sure it was a one off, but I don't want my kid involved in a one off ... there's only watchful the stewardesses can be, and things can go wrong.

On whole, while I understand that you want your daughter to be able to see her dad, and money is a big issue with those longer distance flights, there's just too much risk in my opinion, too many ifs, and I wouldn't be comfortable with it personally.

[Doing my best]

Just bumping this one up..

Limeslice, what are your thoughts now? And others thoughts welcome too.

My DD has asked to go visit her cousin in the Christmas holidays.. I won't be taking holidays this time as I am taking all the next ones, and others want this time, and I will more than likely be working F/t to cover for them.. I have no issues with that.. But it has got me thinking about sending her on a 2 hr flight unaccompanied for a week with her cousin. She will be 6 in November.

Has anyone got recent experience with sending children unaccompanied? If I send her, it will be with Qantas or Virgin.

[LimeSlice]

DD went with Qantas - 4 hours-ish to Perth and back - by herself, and the world did not implode. She was absolutely fine. Had a great time and there was a group of other kids (school holidays) also traveling alone. They had a dedicated staff member to look after them and she was just dandy.

She is flying again in November, she will be 6.

The "what ifs" scenarios still sit in the back of my Mother Brain, but really, the chances of the plane falling out of the sky? Minimal. And I refuse to life my life in fear, so Mother Brain is put in a box.

DD is a very competent flyer - she has traveled on aeroplanes sooo many times, with us, so I was not concerned as she loves flying in general anyway. I do think it depends on the child, though, so if you girl is scared or anything like that, then I would er on the side of her comfort.

[LimeSlice]

DD went with Qantas - 4 hours-ish to Perth and back - by herself, and the world did not implode. She was absolutely fine. Had a great time and there was a group of other kids (school holidays) also traveling alone. They had a dedicated staff member to look after them and she was just dandy.

She is flying again in November, she will be 6.

The "what ifs" scenarios still sit in the back of my Mother Brain, but really, the chances of the plane falling out of the sky? Minimal. And I refuse to life my life in fear, so Mother Brain is put in a box.

DD is a very competent flyer - she has traveled on aeroplanes sooo many times, with us, so I was not concerned as she loves flying in general anyway. I do think it depends on the child, though, so if you girl is scared or anything like that, then I would er on the side of her comfort.

[Doing my best]

Sorry, not that age, nope..

I am not sure of the ins and outs of unaccompanied minors, and honestly think 5 is a bit young. Although my dd is independent, she isn't that independent.

[Tinks]

It's a hard one. I think it would depend on her maturity level. How does she cope being away from you? My DS has flown as an accompanied minor and loved it, he sat with other unaccompanied kids and they had a ball. He was older than 5 though. My youngest is 9 and she wouldn't cope at all but the other 2 would at that age.

[Cassius2]

I used to do it as the 5 year old in question and quite liked it. the only part i found hard was walking away from mum with the hostess to the plane. they were awesome with me though and never left me alone

As a mother to a now 5 year old i just cant imagine it But i do believe in terms of her safety that she would be well attended etc., but yeah, massive step to take as a Mama!!

I too am thinking of doing this with DD1 as she desperately wants to visit her grandma in QLD and we were thinking next year as a school holiday treat...so am interested in how you go!

[LimeSlice]

As a mother to a now 5 year old i just cant imagine it But i do believe in terms of her safety that she would be well attended etc., but yeah, massive step to take as a Mama!!

This is it... I am worried I am maybe being a bit of a *mum* and finding some irrational fears to prevent me from letting her go!

Thanks everyone

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I obviously don't have a 5 yr old just yet but if either of my kids were as you described yours i wouldn't have an issue, if i felt they would be comfortable and that their would be a hostess there incase they got scared or upset i would have no issues providing the person on the other end was right there when they got off the plane.

[krysalyss]

No, I really wouldn't even consider it at this age. Sure, everything would probably go ok but if something goes wrong, DS just isn't old enough to know what to do and where to go for help.

[MrsFabuloso]

No, not at 5. My 5yr old is well spoken, mature, independent and confident. But I wouldn't let her travel unaccompanied. There are way too many what if's and if something happened to her, I could never forgive myself. I don't think I could do it til she were around 8yrs old.

[LimeSlice]

No, not at 5. My 5yr old is well spoken, mature, independent and confident. But I wouldn't let her travel unaccompanied. There are way too many what if's and if something happened to her, I could never forgive myself. I don't think I could do it til she were around 8yrs old.

This is really where I am at I think.

The only alternative is to fly her over, drop her at airport with ex and fly home immediately. Then he can fly her back to Melbourne and drop her at the airport with me and fly home immediately himself.

[Nai]

I would with my 6.5 yo but where she was at 5 I dont think she would have coped.

[PumpkinZulu]

I think for your particular 5 year old, absolutely. I think she's mature enough. Some kids no way. I flew unattended at a similar age and loved it, just a bit nervous getting off the plane to meet mum I think. The hostesses are awesome.

[maybebaby2012]

Absolutely not, i wouldn't even let my 8 year old though so I might just be one of those aeroplane mothers or whatever they call them.
I know logically that she would probably be fine, I don't see it as unsafe or anything, I just couldn't do it personally.

[bellany]

This is really where I am at I think.

The only alternative is to fly her over, drop her at airport with ex and fly home immediately. Then he can fly her back to Melbourne and drop her at the airport with me and fly home immediately himself.

This is what we do. (Bris to tas )
I wouldn't let my 9 & 7 year olds go alone even. I just think there are too many variables.
We only do it once every other year and he visits here once a year at his birthday.
We have had this arrangement for just over 3 years now and it seems to be working fine .