Congratulations loulabelle! Sorry that you had to experience the trauma of transferring but glad things are ok now.
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Congratulations loulabelle! Sorry that you had to experience the trauma of transferring but glad things are ok now.
Congrats loulabelle!! What wonderful news. Sorry you had to deal with smug mw's :(. Not good at all. It just reinforces why most of us prefer to avoid them. Glad your little man is ok tho. And tiny is adorable! I kinda wouldn't mind a tiny baby. After all my big girls. But only a healthy tiny baby.
Afm, is it just me or did anyone find the idea of their second birth( third but second vaginal birth) more daunting at times than the first? I am feeling a little scared when I try to look forward to this baby's birth. I think it may be because I know what I have to do this time and that is lots of hard work.
It may also be because I am feeling so terribly flat with m/s and first tri exhaustion. That my be coloring my perception of things.
Loulabelle, that's gorgeous news :) Not nice to deal with misconceptions about homebirth when you've just had one - what the hell do they think they'll achieve by doing that to a hormonal and vulnerable woman? I guess many of them forget that's who they're dealing with :( I'm starting to spread the idea that going to a health care giver is THEIR privilege, and not the other way around. When I said that in a roundabout way to my GP (when I thought I'd changed practices in our house move, only to revert to my other one at week 11) she thought about it - instead of ploughing on with her agenda and self-importance - and said it was a good point to remember. Sometimes they need sobering with that thought, and whilst it's too late for your stay, I reckon I can pass it round liberally on behalf of mamas like you, while I've still got the energy ;)
I wasn't going to book into a hospital, but the mw I'm going with works at one that people from my area reasonably book into as well, so it won't look weird. There is one closer to us, but my mw doesn't work at that birth centre. If I need to transfer it will be to the closer one. I wonder if it would fly, in that instance, that I only last minute decided I wasn't going to be forced into a car??
I've had a horrible head cold for a few days and today I can breathe - I also had a nap for a couple of hours while the kids ran around like lunatics on their last day of holidays.
I got a Belly Bandit Upsie Belly in the mail this week, which is pretty awesome for the PGP and it much more discreet and streamlined than the band lent to me by the osteo! That one is now my back up, for when this one's getting washed. My MiL also brought round some mobility aids, so I feel like a granny, but I can get around the house when my pelvis flares up :)
Congrats loulabelle - sorry the hospital wasn't very nice to you. As much as I didn't want to transfer because of the expected attitudes - all the midwives were really good to me and were really supportive of home birth. Even the one who told my friend how lucky I was to be alive.
Bella - yup I got that through the pregnancy and my one before that. It went towards the end of my pregnancy though so don't pay it too much attention xx
Bella - I had a 3 year gap between my first two and I was paranoid that I was going to forget my HypnoBirthing techniques, even though I was doing revision exercises and added mantra music to my labour plan! I needn't have worried - I kept all my kick-arse training in my subconscious and it came back to me beautifully at crunch time. I knew I was going to be ok, even though the labour was quicker and more intense and I left it to my body to do the work while my brain concentrated on breathing. By the time I felt my baby's head coming down with my finger I knew I was home free for that vaginal birth :) Intense, but home free.
Once your body has done it once, all those muscles know even better exactly what to do. It's up to what the baby is going to do and how you let your body do it, if all is progressing normally. If things aren't progressing normally then your MW will know in plenty of time for a transfer - she'll know the signs even if you don't.
Thank you everyone to the response about hemorraghing. I've spoke with my midwife and she carries pitocin and methagine just in case so that makes me feel better. I think I just have anxiety over the unknown of it all. I got really tears eyed when I told my midwifes helper midwife about my fears and she said she had no problem making daily visits to calm my nerves
Question about sitz baths? Did you find them helpful? Did you take one after with baby?
I used a bottle that I squeezed and it had holes in the top that let the water out. I got some nice herbs from blissful herbs to make into a soothing mix and chilled that and would spray it on my bitz when I went to the loo to stop the burning. Blissful herbs has the bottles for sale in their post natal care pack.
I didn't, but I made a herbal solution that I soaked maternity pads in and froze, about a month before I was due. They were the bees knees! I googled the recipe and it turns out I had all the necessary oils at the time. Some of my oils went missing while we lived at MiL's (she stashed our things and forgot where she put them...including my expensive aromatherapy products!), so I may well have to stock up again.
Congratulations Loulabelle!! Another wee man to add to the family! That is so crap about the treatment at hospital...especially considering their lack of judgement when you first presented prior to labour :rolleyes:
The_Mrs: that is relieving news at least that your midwife carries that with her. I had a PPH at 5 weeks (!!) PP. it was for retained placenta. i was surprised actually by how calm i was. we called an ambulance (after calling my IM to confirm) and away we went. it was scary, but calm all rolled into one IYKWIM.
Teni: oooohhh it is creeping up!! exciting exciting :dance:
Bella: i was pooping my pants way more this second HB time around...for me it was because i now knew how awesome having a baby at home could be and i was scared even more then of having to miss out and go to hospital.
Is it possible to get spd after 36 weeks? I'd have thought it would occur earlier? I'm hoping this is just pelvic stretching pain or something :/.
How engaged is bub dot face? I would think if they were very, that you would get pelvic pain related to that.
At around that time it's normal-ish - that's when your body is supposed to start stretching. I'd keep an eye on it, though, and do the things SPD people do, in case it doesn't go away after the birth xxx
I got SPD in my first pregnancy at 36 weeks. 28 weeks with the second, 4 weeks with the third. Can't remember with the 4th because I was having chiro treatments the entire time between pregnancies, and this last one it didn't get bad until around the 3rd trimester.:
So I think it can happen at any time really.
Williams mummy last week midwife said bub wasn't engaged but head has been down for last few weeks now. Maybe it's starting to engage?
Arimeh I died a little inside reading your post lol I really hope this isn't spd.
Smoke jaguar I'm trying to keep my legs together in bed and when I get in and out of bed. The pain is like a bruise or a soreness in my pelvis but especially my left side. Have a checkup tomorrow will bring it up then to my middie.
Sitz baths - didn't do an actual sitz bath, but had a bath in my own tub daily with sea salt added to help things heal up. My midwives also leave a package for an herbal bath that is great. Also the peri-bottle for when you pee is essential if you have an scrapes, tears, nicks, whatever. Pee stings!
About the pelvic pain - what does it feel like, DotFace? You might have a bit of SPD with your body loosening up in preparation for birth. I've had a relatively mild case of it in the past couple of pregnancies, but it hasn't given me any trouble after the birth.
Bella - about the fear of birth. Yep. Know what you mean. I feel it every time, sometimes worse than others, and I think most women do. But every time labour starts, after an initial "crap, here we go again" things move along and you just ride the waves, deal with each contraction as it happens, enjoy the rest in between, and get through it. I did find it helpful to talk about the fear with DH and the midwives, and the good ladies here on BB. The more at peace you can be, the easier it will be on you. I think Abraham Hicks said something to the effect of "be happy and stay out of the way of what your body is doing."
How's everyone else? Arimeh, how's your recovery going?
Hey cricket, thanks for asking. :hug: still not totally back to normal but I'll get there I'm sure xxx
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I love this, Cricket. I have days where I am psyched, days where I am terrified, and days where I just don't care.
I try and remember that being stressed isn't going to make it any easier, so I try and get prepared. This is round 2 though and I feel a bit lost as to what I need to research. Sounds silly, but I am worried about what I don't know, I don't know.
My SPD started early this pregnancy, but is actually getting better. (I am 24 weeks now) Maybe I am being more careful, but I actually think some activity is helping me.
In some pregnancies I definitely found that the hip/pelvic pain was worst from about 18-25ish weeks, and then improved. Seemed kind of odd to me too - I expected it to get worse! - but I didn't complain. :)
I think that one good thing you can do to prepare yourself for second and subsequent labours is to remind yourself that you can do it. Watch natural birth videos, read natural birth stories, tell yourself that you've done it before, etc. Do your support people need some information? Penny Simpkin has some good stuff for birth partners to read. And, make sure you are happy with your midwife. If you have a good relationship with her, then if something unexpected happens at the birth, you'll know you can trust her judgment, and that she will do her best to respect your wishes.
Arimeh - hope your recovery is smooth and quick! How's your little man behaving?
Not sure what happened to my post, but pelvic instability association typed into google will bring up the best website to help with this condition, as well as the Facebook page.
The thread under 'medical conditions in pregnancy' isn't very active, but the association website has been getting better and better - heaps more info and support there since I needed it last (4 years ago).
Hi girls, I replied but lost it a couple of days ago and atm I'm not on the computer very much!
Arimeh - I hope it isn't long before you are back to normal. :hug: Did you end up with a more extensive op due to the nature of it this time, or is it just the reality of running around after another four kids and trying to rest that's making it a bit slower this time? How is bfing going?
Urgh to those with pelvic instability, that sounds awful. I'm getting some lower back pain, but I found it was much like this with DD2 as well. I have had to focus extra on my core and pelvic floor muscles this time though, and I find as soon as I pay attention and suck them all up, my posture improves immediately and the pain almost disappears. I think I'll be seeing the chiro a bit more often to help as well. Could just be I'm getting too old for this. :p Although DP is completely open to another child in a few years. I'm not sure what happened to the partner I took almost 12 mths to convince to TTC DD2... Seems he actually likes the idea of extra children running around. Just took a bit longer to realise!
My birth pool is being picked up to deliver to us on Monday next week. I'll feel much better when it's in the house, even though I still have 12 weeks to go. I rang the hospital to book in in case of transfer, but haven't heard back. Might try again and go in soon. So they can photocopy all my notes. Might be an idea to brush up my birth plan before that appt, since I don't expect to go back. I think I'll keep the last one pretty much for this time, except with something up the front about how well my VBAC went.
Really starting to think about the birth now. DD3 is alternating mostly between transverse and head down now, so she's on her way. She clearly has plenty of room. :\ I'm not bothered, she'll figure it out. I feel it will be a quick birth, I'm sure at least one of my midwives won't make it. I'm totally fine with that, but I'm going to spend a bit more time with my doula (who's the closest) in the lead up so that DP doesn't feel entirely responsible! I'm picturing another night time birth, but I think it will all be over before midnight.
Anyone else have strong feelings about their births before they happened that did come true? WIth DD2, I really didn't imagine the birth that much, but I did know it would all be fine and I guess while I kind of left it to proceed as it would, in hindsight I didn't expect it to be long (I did no preparation for looking after anyone for a long labour at all). I strongly saw us sitting around in the daytime afterwards with a new DD2 and just going about our normal business. That part was certainly true. And I did know there wouldn't be any dramas, it would all just happen smoothly.
I pictured my last birth to happen during the day or early evening in warm weather. It happened late evening and it was lashing down rain! It wasn't long, though - just over 3 hours from regular contractions to birth.
Cricket it just feels sore around the bones I use to sit on so my pelvis just feels really sore and gets quite stiff in the mornings making it hard to maneuver out of bed. Especially on my left where my leg joins my hip on the inside feels sore. Midwife yesterday didn't mention anything about spd when I told her she just said it sounds like some ligaments are stretching in preparation so hopefully it isn't spd. I imagine spd would be far more painful this is just mainly soreness.
Smoke jaguar thank you I saw your posts before they got deleted (there were 2 of the exact same one so maybe while trying to delete one both were accidentally deleted?).
I'll have a look at the site you mentioned to google and hopefully some exercises can tame this soreness and stiffness.
In other news baby isn't engaged yet but midwife said it's very likely I've "dropped" after I told her that my inlaws were commenting that my belly looked lower. Still have heartburn and I'm going to start taking apple cider vinegar again because that's the only thing that has actually helped really well. Just been forgetting to take it after meals!
37 weeks today, 21 days to EDD :). Feel like I have to climb a mountain in these next 3 weeks because of all the things I need to get done that I still haven't! Darn the nesting urge!!!
More extensive op I think since they had to take my uterus out to repair the hole. I was left with a lot of bruising - from my belly button down to my groin. I even had a bruise in the shape of a hand print on my lower abdomen - must of been from them trying to stop the bleeding from the abruption. I've had numerous health professionals tell me how lucky I am to be alive, and to be honest I'm struggling with how to deal with that. Not to mention that Felix could have died too. DH told me last night that he had started thinking in the waiting room that he was going to lose me - so thats upsetting to think about him sitting there crying and waiting to hear good news or bad news. Ahh dear, now I'm getting all teary. Think I have issues.:
Um breastfeeding is going well, I've been tempted into thinking to try formula overnight to see if it will take him less than 2 hours to settle, but I'm pretty lazy and I know it won't necessarily make him sleep so I haven't relented yet lol
Dot Face, at this stage of the game, I'd just be getting down to the nearest hydrotherapy pool and floating to take the weight off your pelvis, and not worrying about exercises :) If it persists afterwards, then find an osteo or trusted physio and they'll evaluate what exercises are best for your form of the condition, because each case is different.
Arimeh, now you KNOW the chances of formula cutting down settling time is as random as if you just stuck to what you're doing :p
Oh hun. :hug: Big hugs to you and DH. That is very scary and I'm not surprised you are teary thinking about it. :( You just know you wouldn't mind the settling thing at night so much if you weren't running around after all the other chickens all day! I hope you find your rhythm soon. I bet feeling a bit better physically might help how you cope as well. How is Felix doing? And his brother and sisters - what do they think of their new sibling?
Dot Face - we're getting into spring cleaning so I can get the nesting thing over and done with early. ;) DP completely cleaned the pantry and reorganised it over the weekend. :o He wants to do the fridge this weekend. And that was following a huge effort in the garden and on the pool the day before! He has a few other 'jobs' and some notion of being to clean out every room of the house (haha) but we'll see how we go. He's back at uni in November and that will slow him down. ;) Hope your efforts pay off - so close now!
Arimeh, I totally understand where you are coming from, regarding that haze after a life and death situation. I had to be resuscitated 18mths ago after my MC, my hubby was there and I woke up to a room of people yelling my name... 7 long minutes went by until I started to breath and I will never forget the look on his face when I started to come around. It took me months to process the enormity of what had happened, plus I was bid ridden for weeks and months to even get better. THere is such a fine veil between life and death, and I feel so incredibly blessed to be here and humbled by how easily it can be taken. I feel like i crawled my way through the gates of humility in those weeks and I will never see life in the same way again. The love that blossomed in our family because of that moment is amazing... try not to look at what could have been as much as how much there is here and now. So much for you and hubby to process, I hope you feel supported in doing that. xx
...double post...
SPD pain is more in the front center of the pelvis, I believe. I think your midwife is right - it's your ligaments loosening up and your baby moving down. You're getting so close now! So exciting! :):
Arimeh - of all the things to cry about, that's probably one of the best reasons to cry. I don't think you've got issues. There's a lot to deal with there. Go ahead and cry! Caleb was taking a long time to settle at night too, some nights, but I got Ovol drops (simethicone) for him and that has helped a fair bit. Quiet time after lunch has become an essential part of everyone's routine here too, which helps me make it through the day. I can catch a nap then if I need to. Maybe that would help you make it through this rough, not-getting-any-sleep newborn stage?
Jennifer - my DH nested at least as much as I did too this time around. :) We did quite a bit of work on the house before Caleb was born. It was nice to have everything clean and fresh when he arrived.
LBF - that must have been terrifying for both of you. Losing DH or leaving my kids without a mom is one of my biggest fears. :hug: I can see how that would alter your perspective on life. DH's mom had cancer twice when her kids were young and they didn't expect her to live. It made her a very cheerful, thankful person! She knows how fragile life is. If only we could learn that lesson and remember it without having to go through the near-death experience!
Arimeh: :hug: that's a lot to process
So I had growth scan on Tuesday and Bub seems to be all good, and actually measuring ahead of dates. HC is measuring 37 weeks! And I'm only 34weeks. So turns out I can starve myself and breastfeed two kids and still have a big baby! MW did say not to use that as a reason to believe it ok not to eat as I'm the one losing out in all this. Anyway plan is just to stay on track for rest of pregnancy. Hoping I don't get to 42weeks like with DS, not sure I can hold it together that long!
Arimeh: :hug: that's a lot to process
So I had growth scan on Tuesday and Bub seems to be all good, and actually measuring ahead of dates. HC is measuring 37 weeks! And I'm only 34weeks. So turns out I can starve myself and breastfeed two kids and still have a big baby! MW did say not to use that as a reason to believe it ok not to eat as I'm the one losing out in all this. Anyway plan is just to stay on track for rest of pregnancy. Hoping I don't get to 42weeks like with DS, not sure I can hold it together that long!
Hugs to you Arimeh. You're in my thoughts lots.
Eenee I'm glad bub is growing well. Your midwife is right though, your body will suffer before your babies. They will take the calcium from your bones if its needed. I hope you're taking some good supplements.
Sorry for the short reply. I'm on my phone and my brain is like a sieve.
Hi to everyone else. I'm Travelling well and enjoying the sunshine today. This is the best stage of pg so I'm trying to enjoy it.
I'm feeling stuck about blessingway ideas though. I want to get my belly hennaed, but I think I want to get that done in private this time and maybe have more of a 'mother way' with mothers of all ages rather than my friends who are pretty much all childless. I don't really have many older women in my life though. It's a sad realization.
I would love to get my belly hennaed or painted, but wouldn't be comfortable to have it done in front of people. Will you do yours yourself, or get a mate or professional to do it?
i had a small babyshower with #1, nothing with #2, but am thinking to have a gathering this time, maybe a bbq at home. I would like to make some bunting or something and get people and kids to come and decorate a flag (paint, glue, sew, draw, write, whatever) and then i could string them all up and have them in my birth space. Fairly casual, and that's the main thing that i would like to do. Or maybe jewellery making or something.
Arcadia, have one with mums, if that is your stronger inclination, and you will not regret it :)
I helped with a Blessingway two years ago and it was lovely for everyone to contribute to the henna design, bit by bit. It was so effective, and it was only a small group, so it didn't feel like being in a Myer window for the mama!
I think I'd like one this time. I had a baby shower/party at my fire station the first time, and that was nice because it wasn't just women. I had nothing for my second (I did a belly cast, though!), and being that I'd prefer if this were the last child (having a disabled parking permit has its perks, but I'd rather not need one ever again!), I wouldn't mind having a gathering of mamas, but I'm not sure my old crew would want to travel from Melb, and I'm sure as hell not travelling to have my blessingway.
Arimeh, whilst what you feel now is very normal for what you've been through, it would still be enormously beneficial to have a counselling session or two, just to keep you on track, or get you a little more firmly on track. The hospital psychologist would be a good place to start, or else just tee up a mental health plan with your GP. Clearly, it's playing on your mind and giving it air will be helpful. My mum had two near-death experiences, with two ectopic pregnancies and she barely talked about it. I think that's played a huge part in why she goes troppo weird when I am pregnant. Not to say you'll lose the plot, just to illustrate how important it is to validate your experience, give it words, put it in its place. xxx
HotI, my girlfriends just did a High Tea at Home for me, it was amazing!!
A gift I receieved was a hand painted canvas of the Tree of Life with two Owls (one pink, one blue) sat in the centre. At the tip of each branch was a friends name and their fingerprint. It is very personal and sits above baby's moses basket in our bedroom.
Only three of the invitees to my mother blessing are childless - one is my 18-year-old cousin who is a complete baby person, another is my brother's girlfriend who works in child care. The third, I'll admit I have no idea of her stance on kids, but she's been a close friend for ages and will enjoy the "hippy stuff" :p So I don't think it's a big deal if you only invite those who are mothers :) The whole point is to be around people you feel comfortable with and actually *want* there! If I invited everyone I was "meant to" I would have a miserable time - I learnt that lesson with my baby shower last time :(
I'm planning on hiring a henna artist too, I want her to do my belly while the guests are decorating my birth flags, then smaller designs on their hands/feet so we all have that sort of connection. Hopefully I can find someone who fits our budget AND my grandiose plans :lol:
Yeah last time I had my belly done with guests there and they got ankles/hands done. It was very cool, but it does take time. This time I want more readings/talking and a bit more 'ceremony'. So even more hippy haha. Both times I have asked guests to bring a bead to make a birth necklace. They are my most treasured birthing things. This time I want to get fabric too to make a quilt. I did the patchwork for a friends mother way quilt and it was stunning. So I thought I should do it for me!!
I need to get some good readings/poems to help me work out the right tone. Any suggestions??
Can I ask maybe the silliest question ever asked on a homebirth thread?
What do you like to wear when you're pregnant? I've put on more weight earlier this time, so my regular clothes are all too small or uncomfortable.
Maybe I am not looking in the right places, but actual maternity clothes are not appealing to me much. I have resorted to black leggings and baggy tops a lot. Not very dressy, but comfy.
I wore some maxi skirts with stretch waists that were really comfortable and still looked nice. You can get maternity ones, but most of mine were non maternity, and I can still wear them now. :) Put a tank top with it, and maybe a jacket, or a short-sleeved blouse or a cardigan, left open or with a belt above the belly.... - it works pretty well for a wide range of weather and can be dressy enough for a special outing, or casual enough to wear around the house doing laundry, depending on what you put with it. A pretty scarf or nice necklace and bracelet can dress it up quite nicely. Also, if you get one long enough, you don't have to wear uncomfortable dressy shoes - no one can see your feet, so you can wear whatever feels best. :)
I wear dresses and leggins or maternity jeans and tshirts. I love the brand metallicus and mesop because they stretch but are not maternity, so you can wear them afterwards. I get so sick of my maternity gear by the end. I try to buy nice shoes when pg to get me through.
I like maternity pants, I got a few from a Pumpkin Patch outlet store quite cheaply. Actually, I don't mind the PP maternity stuff in general, but not at full retail price. Mostly, I borrowed or was given my maternity gear. I have a 'set' that's mostly tops, dresses and a couple of pants and shorts that my sisters and I have all shared and added to. I've mostly got secondhand from friends and even a bag full from Freecycle once. I like the Target bfing camis too - they're the only ones that grow with my belly and I can wear them with or without something over them, depending on the weather. They're also quite handy after bub. I also got a few tops from op shops, just baggier/bigger sizes, but not too big ITMS.
M/w visit on Thurs and I'm quite looking forward to it. Chiro visit on Wed that I think I'm looking forward to even more! :/