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I'm with Australian Unity and they specified to advise them in writing. My m/w is registered as a provider with them and the only other thing the letter said was confirming I have had my level of cover for 12 mths prior. HB wasn't covered in my other fund. I guess it's just to confirm you can claim? :dunno: I don't get the whole cost back, but I do get a fair chunk of it.:
this is so so true! I had turned down 2 midwives for this very reason. one, wanted nothing to do with DH and was so militant in her views that men were the enemy of birth that it really didnt fit with our families values and perceptions of birth. and the second was lovely in so many respects and on paper was great, but she wanted the appts to be at her house (which again, didnt suit our circumstances with my history of the PTSD related to not feeling safe). so i totally get and totally respect the decision you made, and it was the right one! :hug::
bummed that you can't stay here and have a lovely HB though :(...but i am certain that you will have a beautiful birth journey. will you be able to have an IM support you at hossy at all? or are the same reasons above also the same for a hossy birth?
Thanks Cassius! Unfortunately no IM for me either, the hospital midwives will not work with them (dumb hospital). When the time comes, and if I make it hospital, I shall have my game face on, Dh will have his on (he knows to protect our wishes and to stand up to the know it alls), and we will get the best of a bad environment. If there is a next time, it will be a HB.:
How is it going Ash? Found a MW?
How is every one else?
Thanks for asking Tegam :)
I typed a lengthy post a couple of days ago but something went wrong (my 'token' had expired :lol:).
Thanks you to everyone who made suggestions, and thanks to Arcadia for your offer of help :hug:
I haven't found a MW yet. I have been thinking about my next step and reflecting on my options and the suggestions made by others in this thread.
I have also thought a bit about my conversation with the last midwife (I'll call her M). She sounded reluctant to take me on from the outset of the conversation - before she heard where I lived or that it was my 4th bub. The MW who recommended M told me that M is 'new to homebirth'. M didn't mention this though. I think her main concern with taking me on is the fact that she has had trouble finding 'back-up' midwives lately. Perhaps her 'inexperience' with homebirthing means she is reluctant to take me on without back-up.
All the MW I have spoken to seem to think that my labour will be very short. I understand why the MW who lives 2 hours away was reluctant to take me on (although she did consider it for a week!). And she obviously has enough work in her region. I also thought that the midwife who lives 75 mins away would end up taking me on, but I understand why she didn't. Her usual back-up is away in Feb (when my bub is due) and she is on-call for her caseload clients. She obviously has enough on her plate in her area. I understand, but I am still disappointed.
The MW (A) I had for my 2 homebirths (and hospital birth) lived 40 mins from me, but her 'lay' MW 'partner' (S) lived only 10 mins away. They shared the antenatal visits. At one birth, they arrived at the same time. At my last birth, A arrived 20 mins before the birth, and S arrived an hour earlier. For my last birth, we did prepare (as much as you can!) for the scenario that the bub would arrive before the MW's did. I wasn't worried if that happened (DH was though!) because I knew that they would at least be on the way. Two of my close friends who had the same MW's ended up birthing before the MW's arrived - so I had considered that it may happen.
This week, I have considered contacting S and asking if she would consider being my MW. I know that she is working as a doula at the moment, but I don't know if she has ever done any birth (in Australia) without a registered midwife. Or even if she would be prepared to. I spoke to DH about it, and he thinks it is a good idea. She has been there for the birth of all my children, and I feel confident in her abilities. I just feel a bit nervous asking her. I guess she can only say 'no'! (as all the others have!).
I have also considered contacting A again and begging her to consider taking me on. I spoke to her when I was 12 weeks preg. and she told me that she had 'retired' from homebirth about 2 years ago, and is now working part-time as a hospital midwife at my local hospital. The MW 's she suggested have either 'retired' from homebirth or left the area. During our conversation, she seemed to think that I would have trouble finding someone and suggested that I book in to the caseload/community midwifery program just in case - at that time I was still blissfully ignorant of how dire the situation was, and didn't even consider contacting the caseload program. How naive I was!
Thanks again for all your kind comments. Beans I am really sorry to hear that we are in the same boat.
Beg ash, cry, do whatever it takes to get that midwife to even think about it. I'm so sorry this is happening. Wish I had an answer that could magically get you a mw.
Afm, I kinda feel a little guilty saying this with what ash is going through but, Mw is still taking me on!! She thinks after speaking with obs that ill should be ok to hb! I have to have another scan at around 32 weeks to see how my placenta is looking and the position its in, but she's very hopeful. She's going to get me in to see a really good ex ob to do the scan, apparently he's all for homebirth.
I'm feeling so much more positive and I know if worst case happens that my Mw will be with me all the way.
Yay!
That is wonderful news loulabelle! :happyforyou:
You have nothing to feel guilty about.
I am very happy for you :)
Thank you for your compassion and kindness.
Yay Loulabelle! That's great news.
Hopefully there's more good news on the m/w front all round. Fx.
Loulabelle that's awesome news!!!
Ash I really hope you find someone it's tough out there!
My MW just told me she is away for a few days when I am due and that if I could just go overdue then she'd be happy! So let's hope this Bub chooses it's timing right and comes a week late.
WOW Loulabelle, thats great news!
Ash: Beg beg and beg some more!
Em: LOL Look at my sig!
WAHOOO!!!
Loulabelle!!!! i am so happy for you :leap: :leap:
Hi! I may have some good news!!!!
I just contacted the lay midwife, S, that has been at all my births. She has just started working with the 'new-to-homebirth' MW, M, who didn't want to take me on because of the distance!
This is fab! S only lives 5 or 10 mins away from me now. S told me that M is reluctant to travel to my town, so S can do the antenatal appointments and has a great chance of arriving to my birth in plenty of time. So M doesn't have to worry about that. Yay! I am feeling really hopeful about this. It all rests with M now. I hope she agrees. I have left a message on her mobile, telling her that I have spoken to S. And, even better, S and M have a meeting tonight anyway, so S will be able to talk to her.
I am feeling really positive about this. I think I am going to get my homebirth after all!!!!! :leap: And I feel really good that S will be there. She has been at all my births. I have total faith and trust in her abilities. She is so incredibly intuitive. I wish I had called her sooner. Although, I get the impression that this arrangement/partnership is a very recent development. So maybe I have contacted her at exactly the right time.
:)
Oh yay, Ash!!! Fx it all works out. Thank goodness you kept trying.
Ash, that's fantastic!! Fx it all works out. Keep us posted.
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oh this is the day of happy news!!!
you go girl Ash!!! wahooo!!
Tegam:love it!
Ash that's awesome news!
Woo hoo! The midwife, M, just called me! We just made a time for our first appointment! She is coming to my house. Distance doesn't seem like a problem now, lol.
I'm so gald I called S yesterday.
Homebirth number 3 - here I come!
Woohoo Ash!