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I dunno.. tribal cultures feed the babies too dont they? I'm sure people wouldn't have let a baby starve to death coz the mother couldnt feed it. In cultures that are very family oriented anyway. Maybe I should stipulate in my will that if something should happen to me, I request that my mother attempt to relactate before giving Tallon formula? (ewww LOL)
-Just a side issue but related to lack of support.
Sometimes it isn't just the mother who choses not to b/f - I am fully breastfeeding Samuel (bigger twin) but the other twin due to being initally tube and bottlefed (EBM) for weeks refuses to breatsfeed. They spent 19 days in hospital and this has everything to do with it.
Some premature babies just can't or won't breastfeed. In saying that I am trying everything including a nipple shield to encourage him. I am fortunate I can express for him. I have the time, family support and supply (other twin is helping keep it up). Though I can see if I had other children to look after it would make it very difficult. Plus very exhausting.
Joel was just refusing point blank till I got shield yesterday -but still working on it .
The cost to hire a good quality electric pump to express ($15 week) isn't much but for some formula would be cheaper -I am told ( I am ignorant about this cost or how long a tin of formula lasts).It took a few calls to find one and also get the double expressing kit (cost $82) - we had to travel to another area after ringing many chemists.I can see all these things hindering a mother with a premature baby, already stressed and recovering from early/traumatic birth.
They tend to schedule feed premature babies too for medical reasons.This didn't suit Samuel at all and he wasn't feeding bottle/breast well ... so they wouldn't let me feed him anymore - his feeding regime was 2 nasogastric tube feeds (EBM) to one suck feed.So I was having a frustrating time getting breastfeeding established with only one to two chances to offer a breastfeed in 24hrs period. I didn't have opportunity to stay overnight once discharged. Joel was smaller and they didn't want to tire him so even though I had more chances to offer breast - he didn't take it much and they pushed comp feeds after a short try of breast (though again with EBM).
They would have just given S26 if I didn't express - they didn't say anything to me about it being better for babies.I was luckily well educated and knew.Maybe they sensed this.
At first hosp I wasn't even shown the expressing/feeding room (in postnatal ward) until 2nd -3rd day (overnight).I was still in the antenatal ward though.I was miserably and painfully expressing 2-3 mls colostrum by hand and a syringe - feeling like a failure.It was weekend so no lactation consultant.I was briefly shown how to use and left to it.
The 2nd hosp had an electric pump right in the nursery thankfully - I just used it.
Another young mum with a baby (born @ 34wks) started breastfeeding and was going really well. She and partner were even coming back in very night to feed at 9pm but by middle of 2nd week she had lost supply (while baby was still in hosp) and then decided on formula.I don't think she was encouraged enough by MW's to keep it going.
Several times I had to wash and sterilise the equipment myself, - after another mother had used , left it 'dirty' waiting to be cleaned .The Nurses hadn't always the time to do themselves ... but they didn't have enough expressing sets. Obviously not well used equipment or so little demand! :rolleyes:
I can see a less educated mother giving up faced with this situation.
The evolutionary dead-end theory doesn't really work for me I'm afraid. It supposes that the reason that women can't breastfeed are all genetic and also caused by dominant genes. If all genetic conditions just came to a dead end we wouldn't have to worry about conditions such as CF, thalassaemia and sickle cell aneamia. In addition there are other reasons that women can't breastfeed that aren't caused by an inability to lactate. As Liana mentioned some women may have emotional issues caused by things such as sexual assault that make them distressed by the intimacy of breastfeeding, other women need to take medications which could be harmful to thier babies and I know of at least one woman who has been unable to feed from one breast because of a breast cancer operation. By acknowledging that a small percentage of women are genuinley unable to breastfeed rather than insisting that all women can breastfeed we can reduce the burden that these women may carry for being unable to do something that 'all' women can do. Also if we can point out what a small percentage is genuinley unable to feed people might be likely to reassess thier perception of thier inability IYKWIM.
BTW DH was BF by his aunt - I think that there are still quite a few wet nurses around still only its less common in western cultures and also quite underground.
I'd be interested to know how the ABA tackles the issue of premature bubs and breastfeeding. I wonder if hospital "policy" is as bad in this area as it is for birthing?
Dach - those emotional and medical issues you mentioned would fall into the 5% surely? If that's the case, it can be diagnosed and recognised as a genuine problem.
I don't think it's so much insisting that all women can breastfeed, but rather not making a fuss about it at all.. as it's normal to breastfeed.. why is it ever questioned in the first place? It's like anything else.. it's normal to have 10 fingers, but you wouldn't quote statistics on how many people don't, and say, but don't worry if your baby only has 9. LOL - thats probably a terrible analagy.. but its what popped into my head :confused:
Trish, have you tried your own Lactation Consultant? An IBCLC is worth their weight in gold...
Hi,
I bottle-fed my DD after trying for a week to get her to latch on,I also cried when i had to buy formula and i know that if i were well informed and had help with my inverted nipples that i couldve done it.Well.....this time i will be doing my all to breast feed i have already gone into preperation,like educating myself and i even bought a product called a Nipplette for women with inverted nipples to help the nipple out.What made me the most sad is that when i was at the hospital with DD one of the midwifes told me ''WOW you have more milk than any woman on the ward'..shame your nipples are so difficult!!''...WTF? I thought that was a mean thing to say considering she wasnt helping ,she just kept telling me youll get the hang of it.
Well this time god willing things will be diffrent,i strongly believe that a child should be bf till they are 2yrs old.
I havnt read the article yet ,but i will soon.
also i wanna know,If your BF and you fall pregnant ,do you have to stop BF?? i have been told that when u fall preggies that ur milk goes watery and is not nutrituos for bubs anymore.is there any truth to this??
Ivana, I have to agree re: the finger comparison; we should be focussing more on the normal, not the abnormal.
Ruru, you can tandem feed a toddler and a baby, other people have done it, but most often the toddler will self-wean because of the changes in taste. I do know there are extended breast feeding websites out there somewhere with women on who do tandem feed.
I think midwives can be so off-putting! I've already been encouraged to accept intervention in my birth because of the "poor midwife" attending me if I have a prolonged labour! As for what they tell BFing mums over here in the UK... I'm sure many are good and fine women, just sometimes they don't think! Happens to us all, I'm sure.
As for being unable to feed - things like sickle-cell are actually beneficial in heterozygotes as it improves the defence against malaria, but I just don't believe that 5% of the population have this huge in-built reason not to BF. I can understand cancer treatments and psychological trauma, but for 5%? That just still seems like a huge amount of women to me.
Hmm.. I guess I shouldn't say what people are likely to feel huh. Sorry. I figured that if something were genuinely discovered (such as your little boy's tongue) it would ease any feelings of guilt because there is a known, understandable reason. Sounds like you had a really rough time, but good on you for not letting your experience put you off breastfeeding entirely.. well done :)
Can I ask.. is it literal bullying? or is it sensitivity to someone saying they have successfully breastfed? I'm just wondering, because I would never bully someone or tell someone they shouldn't have gone to formula, they had their reasons for it, and I understand it's not an easy decision.:
So, I couldn't feed him yet I felt totally bullied and guilty. The worst offenders? Other mothers who breastfeed with little or no trouble.
Unfortunately the pendulum can swing the other way too.. where breastfeeding mums can feel guilty for breastfeeding! It seems to be us breastfeeding mums who have to do the tip-toeing around the subject, which is a shame, because it makes it hard to be proud and open about breastfeeding.. when we need to be for those upcoming new mums to feel confidence that it can be done.
Hi all....sorry, I would have liked to have responded earlier, but limited hours in one day (don't we all know it!?)
Ryn: 5% is the percentage that was explained to me by a qualified lactation consultant. The good lactation consultants are really good about supporting women who cannot breastfeed, also. For centuries, people who could not breastfeed had wet nurses. There was also a very high infant mortality rate, until recently - no doubt often caused by major feeding difficulties (ranging from sever malnutrition in the mother, to lactation failure for other reasons, also). Formula has saved many babies lives in recent years. In tribal communities, if one has an inability to breastfeed, there is usually another family member present who is lactating and who will happily breastfeed the baby for it's mother. This is true of traditional Aboriginal communities, also. Lack of glandular development is one issue that can lead to an inability to produce breast milk. I've written an article in this same topic heading (feeding) about my personal experience with this condition - perhaps it will shed some light.
Ivana_baby: Sorry if my quote was unclear.... I was saying that the people simply making "assumptions" about their breastfeeding ability make awareness of a true inability to breastfeed even less, and, therefore, the situation is made harder for those with a true inability to breastfeed. About feeling bullied....it is really the woman who truly can't breastfeed who feel the most bullied. This is because, in most cases, they would have truly loved to have breastfed, and they are very aware of peoples lack of knowledge about their condition - there is a lack of understanding of their situation. It's a dreadful situation for these women, and they feel emotionally unsupported by society. It does feel like bullying and is not simply a sensitivity to someone being able to breastfeed. I'm putting together childbirth education courses, one of which will be on breastfeeding. I support and encourage breastfeeding heart and soul....but I also understand that it isn't always possible, and so I support those who cannot breastfeed, too. I've written a personal account of "lack of glandular tissue" in this same section (feeding) - perhaps it may give an insight to those mothers who haven't experienced an inability to breastfeed.
Baby_amore: Yes, there is such lack of education, and such conflicting "advice" out there! Hospitals are rarely conducive to the establishment of breastfeeding...they are such stressful environments. Babies refusing does happen, and isn't always something that can be overcome (some mothers in this situation may still have milk, and can therefore make a choice to express or not). My mother breastfed my sister and I for ages...when my brother was then born, he point-blank refused.
dachlostar: Exactly! If there is an awareness of how to get true help, how to be diagnosed, the small percentage will have greater support from health-care-providers, and have greater support from society, as an awareness =acceptance=support. Furthermore, those who thought they couldn't breastfeed but in fact can, will get the extra support and reassurance that they need, and they will be better equipped with knowledge and resources to enable them to breastfeed.
Everyone: I believe it would be very damaging to state that "everyone can breastfeed". 5% is a high number when you gather together all mothers. We should all be pro-breastfeeding - but lets not forget our reasons behind this - the bigger cause! Why are we pro-breastfeeding? Because we care about the health of the babies and, ultimately, the health of society. The health of society rests on the treatment of mothers - so, we must support ALL mothers. No doubt, the term "breastfeeding Nazi" comes from a backlash to the very small percentage of people who don't believe in an inability to breastfeed....or perhaps they believe it exists, but should be bred out! Absolutely, there should be a focus on the "normal" - but just by using negative words like "abnormal" (and I know it is a good summation of a minority group, but a negative word non-the-less) we are helping to create an unaccepting, intolerant society. 5% of the female population cannot be shunned. I guess one has to think outside the box a little - how would you support your daughter could she not breastfeed? Would you want her to feel like an outsider?
Liana, that's a lovely post. Very well said.
Ivana, I tell you, if I could have breastfed I would have done it ... anywhere anytime. I don't see it as anything that has to be justified or explained to anyone else. Before I had problems I certainly never planned on doing anything else for my boy. I took 12 months maternity leave specifically for that purpose!
Melbo - thank you very much :) I do come in peace! haha.
hehe.. i come in peace too!! .. I hope I'm not coming across as a breastfeeding nazi! I'll just give a brief summary of what I'm trying to say and I'll leave it at that, coz I don't wanna go around in circles and repeat myself LOL.
I wholeheartedly agree that all mums need support whichever way they go. I do believe that the support systems out there at the moment aren't pro-breastfeeding enough, it seems they are too quick to encourage comp-feeding, which is detrimental to establishing breastfeeding, and causes a downward spiral. Thus we do have more ff'ing mums than there really should be.
I do however think when it comes to campaigning for breastfeeding, it's unnecessary to quote statistics on how many women are unable to feed, as people do latch onto that and believe they are of that percentage, and with the lack of correct support available they give up too soon. I'm not talking about people that HAVE persevered for weeks on end, only to need to use formula. That's different, because they have explored all avenues and sought out support to continue feeding, and found it's just not working.
I also don't want that misunderstood to be ostracising the % that are unable to breastfeed. It's just that more emphasis on the 'normality' of breastfeeding needs to be out there. It is possible to set yourself up for failure by not having the confidence to begin with, and knowing there is an easy out should you have any problems. Emphasis needs to be on increasing available support to help people realise that you can overcome initial feeding problems and continue feeding before formula is even brought into the equation.
I hope that makes sense. I'm meeting more and more mums telling me the saga's of their breastfeeding, and they found it too hard, so went to formula, but I know for a fact they didn't have sufficient support, and didn't seek support, because they figured they could just turn to formula if it was too hard.. or else they started comping, and found before they knew it, they were full time formula.
I also find that these ff mums are very quick to tell me their story (before I've even said anything!), and it's almost like they're giving me a warning not to start talking about breastfeeding.. which I find sad, because like I said, it makes us breastfeeders feel guilty for being able to breastfeed, when we should be able to feel free to feed out in the open and talk about breastfeeding as a normal thing.
Phew.. ok.. that's my 2c.. or maybe 50c worth! LOL. I will be quiet now.
Can I just say that any woman who says that she or her baby for (insert reason here) was unable to BF but really wanted to and tried to, should be taken at her word! Suggestions that women are happily bundling themselves into the (why is this statistic so contentious??) 5% as some 'easy way out' are the hurtful ones. For these women, all the best support from LCs etc is great but may not get them there in the end.
The real targets of any pro-BF campaign should be the women who think BF is 'yuck' and won't do it.
Ivana_baby: :) No, no one here comes across as a breastfeeding Nazi. I've heard some shockers though! *cringe*.
Jillian: Oh, that's terrible that you were treated so badly! The ignorance and nastiness of it all!
So true, the pendulum can swing both ways - we should all strive to centre it!
sal - "here-here"!!! Statistics, at the end of the day, mean nothing. Lets treat every individual as just that! :) That's also a reason why statistics on the "dangers" of formula can be so dangerous themselves.....take it as a guess, but I think womens guilt over their parenting (including choices regarding breastfeeding) is a major contributor to postnatal depression. Lets illiminate this guilt, lets support one-another, and lets not assume we have any knowledge of anothers situation.
Sal - I wouldn't say people are happily bundling themselves into that percentage, but perhaps unnecessarily.. as it's possible with the right support they might have overcome initial feeding problems.
Jillian - omg.. that's awful! I can't believe people said that to you!
Jillian, thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I think that to hear a personal story makes the issue far more real than a bare statistic does IYKWIM. I'm in awe of you for perservering for so long. I had a weeny little graze on my nipple because of Imran's tongue tie coupled with his very enthusiatic sucking and I was in agony and dreaded every feed until he learnt to feed more efficiently so I can't imagine how much pain you must have been in. I think that its amazing that you managed to feed him for so long despite the issues that you were having. You shouldn't feel guilty about FFing Lochie but proud that you breastfed him for so long under such difficult circumstances.
In regards to the contentious 5% - I really think that the figure is unimportant. Wether the correct figure is 5%, 3.97532% or .00005% the main point is that we should show empathy and respect towards any woman who has been unable to breastfeed although she wanted to and be careful not to use language that may be unintentionally hurtful.
I just wanted to say it was great reading the stories and experiencespeople have posted in this thread. I have also become a very passionate pro -b/f since b/f my own dd for 12months. I definately do not judge those who have persevered with b/f and it hasn't worked out or those who have valid reasons not too. I totally agree with some of u who have said that there simply isn't the support and information out there to encourage more woman to b/f - it's very sad actually - especially when it's the most natural thing!
Hopefully things will begin to change...definately forums such as this are a good start :)
It's sad for women who want to bf but can't for a genuine reason. But it's also sad that many who could bf with the right information and support didn't get the opportunity. And it's sad that many women feel ashamed to bf in public - espeically with toddlers. There is no easy answer here, but I do think bf needs to become more socially acceptable and there needs to be more education.
All I knew of bfing before DS was born was that most of my friends with kids had had problems with attachment and most had gone on to ff. A couple of weeks before DS was born, a conversation with an interstate friend of mine changed things. She is the mum of 3 and a dietician and ABA member. She asked me if I was planning to bf. I said I was going to try. I admit it - I was expecting defeat before I'd even started. She told me that most early problems can be overcome and insisted I ring her before giving up on bfing. She also bought me a gift membership to the ABA.
This was probably the difference between me bfing and ffing. When DS was born with a tongue-tie, he was unable to attach and would scream with hunger while we tried. The first few days were very difficult as we tried lots of different things. Luckily we did have success with nipple shields the night before I left hospital. Jack's tongue-tie was snipped when he was 3 weeks and we went on to feed successfully without nipple shields until he self-weaned at 14 months (probably due to my pg). We fed through two bouts of mastitis, my return to work, and other nipple problems. I would never have done this without my friend's assurances that it would get easier, and the fantastic support of the ABA.
How many other women out there would love to successfully bf but are not given the information, encouragment and support they need? I guess what I'm trying to say is that we need to be sensitive to the feelings of those who are the 5 % who genuinely can't bf. But this shouldn't stop us from trying to increase bfing rates and raising awareness of bfing and the support available. And we certainly shouldn't be hiding the fact that we are bfing or feeling embarrassed about it. We should be proud!
Please, if I haven't worded this well, don't take offence. There is none intended.
Melanie
Melanie, yours is a very balanced post, I don't see how anyone could be offended by it. You've hit the nail on the head, increase awareness and support, but take out any militance (or propaganda or scare campaigns).
Jillian,
I also received similar insults as yours when I gave Maddy the bottle...
"You'll make her obese, she'll develop dysfunctions due to formula feeding, Your not doing the best for your baby, She'll hate you when she is older, you'll have no close relationships, fight through the pain...etc, etc..."
When a part of your nipple is hanging off, bleeding your baby is starving & the only liquid it is consuming is blood from your breast, so she was literally vomiting up my blood & I was told to feed through it, but Maddy was losing weight, I was an emotional & physical basket case... Then I really dont see I had a choice, I went to the Supermarket bought a bottle, a tin of Soy Formula &she guzzled 120ml at 7 days of age & slept thru the night every day after that... then I am proud of giving it ago & Jillian you should be proud too.
With Indah I had no attachment issues whatsoever, she still feeds 3 times a day & has a bottle of formula during the day at my Sisters or parents, due to my workload & not having time to express! I am still 100% happy & content with my decisions.
As Sal said people arent bundling themselves into anything, I think I gave myself a blooming great shot of feeding Maddy, it didnt work, not because I gave up, I was starving my baby & it wsa not in her best interest t keep trying.
Unlike the comments I received, she is a lean, healthy, happy, confident & extremely close to Mummy girl...
I am elated to be feeding Indah & I plan to feed #3! But I dont feel Maddy & I missed out on anything!
I think I'll stick with Kelly's advice in another thread, no one should be anti anything but pro what they believe in!
I am saddened that there isn't enough support and help for women out there who are having difficulties with bf, because I think if you asked b4 their babies were born, the majority of women do want to bf.
In my case, the bf class our hospital ran, the help from the LC there, advice on BB and the ABA all added up to successful bf thus far. Without those, I don't know what I would have done when I encountered problems with mastitis twice. It's a shame that these same resources aren't available to everyone.
I find it interesting that the govt feels its entirely appropriate to fund an anti-abortion pregnancy advice hotline (without advertising it as such) and yet doesn't do more to help out the ABA. (Yes, I know, two completely different things, but it really got my goat when I read in the paper this week about that hotline not stating its position up-front!) If there really are adverse health affects from ff (and I agree that this article doesn't give much solid research on this) then surely the govt could do more to help out bf mothers. It'd be a better thing for our over-stretched health system in the long run.
I don't remember if it was mentioned in this article or not, but it has also struck me that most children's picture books and a lot of parents rooms signs, etc all have images of mothers bottle-feeding babies, never bf them. (I think the ABA has taken this point up.) I find that a little sad, so I'm making sure that DP takes some photos of me bf Lucy so that when she's older she'll see that this is how she was fed as a baby. I always remember a photo of Mum bf me when I was a toddler and I wonder how much of an effect that has had on my desire to bf.
Just out of interest, Kelly, do you know if there's anything out there about whether there's any effect on a woman bf if she and her siblings were bf by their mother or not? Just wondered if seeing your Mum bf younger siblings had an environmental effect or not.
Anyway, at the end of the day I'm pro-postive parenting. I know mothers who do a fantastic job and it doesn't have anything to do with the way they fed their children as infants.
Although don't get me started on feeding kids too much junk food when they're older...!
I don't have studies off hand, but it can have an effect, yes... not always but yes.
I'm already getting people asking me whether or not I plan on bf this baby as well. I only breastfed Matilda for 4 1/2 months for different reasons but planned on bf for over 12 months at the very least. Now I have people asking what my "plans" are... I tell them bf, and they ask "Even after what happened last time?" I can't believe that there is so much pressure to bottle feed.
Christy, isn't it amazing. No wonder people give up so easily!
The same thing happened when I announced I was pg again. I can't believe the number of people, including close family members, who told me that now I have to stop bfing Jack. My GP and Ob both told me I could keep feeding, but despite this I had a lot of pressure to stop and kept getting asked "have you weaned Jack yet?". As it turned out he self-weaned when I was about 3 1/2 months pg (I think my milk dried up). I was really sad. I sent a group email to family and friends telling them how sad I was but nearly every reply said "how good that you won't have to feed two" and "about time" or something like that. Thanks for the support!!
Thankfully, after feeding Noah until he was 20 months old i haven't been given any pressure to stop with Tehya, YET! Although I do hear the odd comment like, Oh Trisha breastfeeds until her kids are 5. Not that I do but if I did it would be my choice.
Melanie, I went through the same thing when I was pregnant with Imran. I even had a GP tell me that I would have to wean. I've never been back LOL.
Imran is only 4 months old but MIL is already beginning to ask about how long it is until I stop and trying to hint that I should be starting solids. She almost had a heart attack when DH told her that I was planning to BF Imran until he was 2.
Good on you, Dach, always great to find something to pi$$ off MIL and be doing a good thing for your kids at the same time! Pity Yasin weaned himself and you couldn't tandem feed the two of them, that would just about have sent her off the edge!!
Yes I think this is a very good point. I have a site, not a parenting site but I put articles like this and on co-sleeping etc to get it out there. I figure the more its around the more 'normal' it will become and it will help raise awareness in people before they become parents or hopefully raise some awareness in their parents etc...:
Anyway I won't go into too much details here but I think this is very important because there is alot of grandmothers now or soon to be grandmothers out there who formula fed their children because the genuinely beleive they wern't making enough, ofcourse this could be true for some but as we know, not all. The problem here is when their children have babies that same belief is passed onto them by their mothers and within days of birth they give up thinking the same thing which I think is such a shame, of course again this could be true for some but I 'assume' this happens alot especially to mothers having their first child, I wonder can you really tell in a couple of days? anyone know?
Kelly - the link to the article is no longer working. I just wanted to have another read of it.
Had an interesting conversation with my step MIL last night, she is a high level nurse who once worked in PNG. She saw first hand the damage that Nestle did to the tribes by giving out 6 weeks worth of formula to the tribal mums, fortunately the govt banned the practise. It really makes it sink in a lot more to talk to someone who has actually seen what has happened
Astrid, check your PMs :)
Fantastic article!! Yeeha to the person who wrote it.......
I think rather than debating breast versus bottle which at a forum level can only be based on emotion and anecdotes, I would like to see bellybelly members respond by
demanding and campaigning for transparency from and regulation of formula producers for the right of ALL mothers everywhere -whether bottle feeding or breastfeeding
- we have a right to know what is in formula and to have the industry suitably regulated.
IFF (If and only if) formula is so bad, then lets get a viable alternative whether chemically based, EBM banks, wet nurses, free education, free laction specialists available 24/7 and so on. We can't do that without some kind of basis of the negativeness of formula.
Bottle = babykiller?!? No - disempowerment, poverty, lack of sanitation, misinformation, guilt, lack of support, starvation, dirty water, AIDS, postnatal depression --> these are babykillers.
Maybe we could create a less emotional, point form summary of the important points so everyone could gain from this article. I'm happy to start it and have others edit it?? We should also have the response from Nestle to the allegations available too (I have one of these letters if anyone wants a copy).
Kelly and anyone else- if this is too inflammatory I truly apologise. That's not what I'm trying to do. I have both exclusively bottle and breast fed each of my girls so feel that I have a foot in each camp.
Thank-you for publishing this article, An article like this is great, as it keeps us informed about our choices or lack of, and hopefully agitates us to action for mummies!
I have only just read this article. I have a few thoughts so Ill talk about them below.
Firstly, I think every mother wants the BEST for her baby. I agree that in a normal, problem free situation, breast is best. But having said that, would a drinking, smoking, drug using mother on a poor diet have the best breask milk to give her baby?
I have a almost 2 year old boy. I wanted to bf him, and I found it dreadfully difficult. I was a new mother, in a maternity ward with some midwives who mustve just assumed I had the knowledge, not just talking bf here, talking other things as well. I had plenty of mw's show me how to do breastfeed, but they each had their own technique. I found this confusing and I got frustrated. I have stange nipples. I wouldnt call them inverted, but the nipple doesnt stand out unless its cold etc. My son had trouble attaching. Some midwives would tell me he was attached and others would say he wasnt when I was doing what I thought was right. The first night we bought him home, he cried all night, I was in tears, and in a dreadful state of mind, I had had depression for about 4 years before having him, so no surprise when I developed PND. There were a number of factors that contributed to it which I wont go into here, but all that, on top of me not knowing how to breastfeed properly made life extremely difficult. In the end I rang the hospital and told them I was having trouble. They arranged for a mw to come out and see me. She showed me how to attach him and by that time I had sore, scabby, painful nipples from him being attached wrong. I think that was the first time he was able to have a proper feed, when she was there to attach him. She even showed me how to express. She also told me that day that "this baby is hungry" and he had in fact lost more than the normal 10% of his birth rate. I cannot begin to tell you the anguish that caused me. I put him on formula that day. I will admit with a bit more education and the skill and confidence to attach him properly and Im sure we wouldve been fine. I kept him on formula, and have had no problems since.
Next baby I will give breastfeeding my all. I have only just found out that such a thing exists to "suction" your nipples to make them poke out so that bubs can latch on. A small pump that you use before you are ready to feed bubs. I will be armed with one of those. I will also get a mw to come see me again if I am having problems, and I will get her (or someone) to come again if Im still having trouble. I feel second time round that I am in a better place to be successful.
Having said that, I too am on 300mg of Effexor daily and worry about this being passed on to my baby. In reality, once I stop bf the baby will have withdrawals from the medication, this worries me. Also, I worry that I will have to reduce my dosage. Knowing myself like no one else does, I can honestly say that having me depressed and not medicated enough is far worse than having a baby formula fed. These are the things that need to be sorted prior to the baby's arrival, and me making an informed decision.
Lastly, one of the benefits of bf is the increased immunity. Im not trying to cause trouble, I do agree that within the right environment breast is best, but I have a friend who exclusively bf her bub and she was always sick within her first year. My son has been and is incredibly healthy. Surely there is something in that, other than me being "lucky"?
Oh and I dissaprove strongly of 3rd world Dr's being paid by the formula companies to promote formula feeding. That is despicable!
Thank you for sharing your story. How awful for you to have such a difficult start with a new baby. Sadly the problem of bad bfing advice in hossy is too common.
I think the best preparation for bfing is to attend an ABA class while pg. It is so helpful to have information up front and to rely less on the mws, many of whom are not trained to assist with bfing. I would recommend that you hire a LC next time, rather than contact a mw, as a qualified LC will give you the very best bfing advice and assistance. Also WRT to your medication, there is a doctor at the Monash drug information line who specialises is bfing and drugs. If you would like his number just post again and one of us will post it for you. He has the very best info on what is safe and wasn't isn't.
I hope that with the experience you have from your first baby, and with the knowledge and support that you can get from here, the ABA etc, that you are able to bf next time. It is a really great feeling when you get it all working. Best of luck to you, and big hugs for the pain that you have been through.