help

[sarak]

my little man is 5 weeks and i have been breastfeeding. but he wont sleep at night and all he wants to do is scream and eat alllll night. its exhausting and frustrating. i am thinking of formula feeding at night only. has anyone else experienced this???

[Hoody]

Is he feeding all night or jsut comfort sucking. My DD wanted to be on the BB from about 6pm til midnight but wasn't hungry just wanted comfort. I ended up giving her a dummy as my BB were in a delicate state. (they were torn and bleeding and i ended up with thrush in both nipples) If you DS does not have a dummy it may be worth a try but it depends if you want him to have one or not. I originally didn't want my DD to have one but gave in and with no 2 on the way i have decided if she too is a comfort sucker than i dont mind if she has a dummy either. HTH.

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

Sarak said "my little man is 5 weeks and i have been breastfeeding. but he wont sleep at night and all he wants to do is scream and eat alllll night. its exhausting and frustrating. i am thinking of formula feeding at night only. has anyone else experienced this???"

Yes! Most of us have!
At birth, babies have no circadian rythm. Day and night mean nothing to them whatsoever! They do get the hang of it eventually - but when is a very variable thing. It is unlikely to be hunger that is causing him to behave like this, and the early introduction of formula will usually mean the early cessation of breastfeeding. And it may not mean a better sleep. did you plan to stop breastfeeding early? Or did you want to go longer? The great thing about the breastfeeding relationship is that there is more scope to "fine-tune" the process.
first of all, we would need to know how many times he is feeding in 24 hrs. 8-12 is normal at this age. And you find it's not in regular two to three hour blocks, but there are times in a 24 hr period where they have a cluster of feeds - a polite way of saying whenever you put them down they scream for more! Then another time of the day or night when they have a longer sleep - 3 hours is about as good as it gets.
If he is gaining between 150 -250 g per week, (after the time he got back to his birthweight around 2 weeks) then he is probably not hungry. Baby humans are biologically dependent on another adult. They need to be close to their mum. This is often why they are crying - they hate being alone. And oddly enough, many mothers in the early days, have too much milk. Babies getting too much often act much the same as babies getting too little. It takes some dedicated baby watching to sort it out! Hard when you are sleep deprived yourself.
Does he have longer sleeps in the day? Sometimes waking him for more frequent feeds during the day can help. Also, getting out into the sunshine a bit. If he is getting too much milk, but still (as all babies do) wants the comfort of sucking, then a dummy may help.
Many mothers find that their baby is much more settled if he sleeps in their bed - and it makes life easier for the mother - you can learn to feed lying down and it makes night-time parenting so much easier. If you smoke or drink or use other drugs, a cot or bed nearby or a co-sleeper may be helpful. Otherwise it is OK to put him in with you - make sure he has a safe place to sleep - no pillows or heavy doonas
Look after yourself. You are doing a great job. It's tough - you basically have a 24hr shift. Enlist all the help and support you can get. Sleep in the day when your baby sleeps. Eat well. Get some exercies. Do things to make yourself feel better.
Hope something in all this helps you a bit in your situation
Warm Regards
Barb

[sarak]

thanks guys. last week when i weighed him he had put on 400g in 10 days. so he is a real piglet. during the day he is a great sleeper. he does 3-4 hour shifts and its really easy to feed him and put him to sleep. i really didnt want to go to formula but i feel like i am going crazy. at night now my husband is settling him after a feed and he seems to relax a bit better with him. we have resorted to using a dummy and it does work and sometimes he goes back to sleep with it.
we thought he had wind so we tried using gripe water. it seems to relax him a bit coz sometimes after a feed and being burped he still pulls his legs up and screams like he is in incredible pain. is there anything else we can do if he has wind?

[paradise lost]

When DD had windy phases i used to try to feed her half sitting up by sitting with my legs crossed and her "in the basket" facing me and leaned against my thigh so she could reach my boob easily (i had giant boobs then though, putting a cushion under him might make it easier to reach if yours are normal-sized). Also i winded her whenever her latch came loose (instead of re-latching right away) and i sat with her laid upright on her tummy on my chest for about 20 minutes after each feed. Sometimes a lot of foremilk (the thinner stuff they get in a rush when you get let-down) can make them a bit windier (though your littly is gaining so well it sems like he's getting PLENTY of cream ) but you can easily avoid that by, after they come of one boob, instead of offering the other right away, wind them and put them back where they were for another suck of hindmilk. If they come off again or cry in frustration you can always switch sides but often my DD liked to have her big feed then a short break/wind then back on the same side for "dessert" of the creamier stuff, and only really needed both boobs one after the other a few times a day. Experiment and see what your DS likes - there's no "mistakes" with BFing, it's all just happy experimentation until mum and bubs are both happy.

I would also say that:
a) the sleep deprivation and desperation you're suffering are completely normal and probably 90% of mums get them (i know i did!) for the first few months,
b) if you possibly can, get some good day-naps while he is sleeping and, like Barb suggests, maybe try waking him a bit more often in the afternoon/evening so he is nice and full at sleepy-time and not waking poor mum to feed so often.
c) to quote the wonderful Bathsheba, this too will pass. Looking back it feels like i blinked and now i have a giant toddler. Time flies. Hang in there.

Bx