Please explain demand feeding to me!

[kelsbels]

How do you/did you demand feed? Did you set a limit, ie 3 hours if bubs was sleeping or still not demanding that you would feed?
I'm struggling with the whole demand feeding concept and to be honest, i think I've been feeding DS too frequently which has resulted in him only snacking all day and then having his main 'meals' at night. I'm not really waiting for him to demand but instead feeding him constantly because I'm worried about losing my supply if he doesn't demand often enough. Stupid huh?
So from tomorrow I thought I'd set an end limit, ie 3 hours and but still feed him earlier if he wants to (evening cluster feeds etc).

He's 5 months. I thought I was doing well but clearly, I've got no idea :/

[Kmn]

I found that the more I fed during the day the longer stretch I got at night.
At 5 months the world is often more interesting than feeding during the day - so you may need to try and find a quiet place to feed during the day.

Demand feeding involves offering and seeing if the offer is accepted; it involves letting your baby set the lead. My DS settled into a pattern of very frequent feeds during the day and a much longer stretch at night.
At this stage I wouldn't wake a sleeping baby - you may need to when they are tiny, but not now. And similarly your supply will now be governed by what your DS takes out - so the only times I would be worried about supply are when he really doesn't want to feed (e.g. if he has a sore throat or an ear infection). If he's well then he will take what he wants and you will replace it and that's just fine.

[onthefly]

Basically, it just means feeding when your baby wants to feed. You can of course offer at different times if that will suit you better - ie, if you have to go out or something - or if they are not demanding enough - more of an issue with sleepy newborns.

So, is your concern that he doesn't ask to be fed often enough during the day? He is probably quite capable of going longer between feeds - he knows when he's hungry and will let you know. I guess the guiding principle of baby-led feeding is that you follow their lead (assuming no medical issues etc). You could just wait till he asks to be fed and see how you go

It sounds like you're doing fine, though

[kelsbels]

So I should really be able to take a step back and let him demand then hey? Rather than feeling as though I have to feed him every 2 hours just because I am worried about supply. He is a big boy, there is no weight issue so maybe I will try letting him go a bit for a few days and see what happens. Ultimately I guess if it doesn't work I'll go back to offering every two hours and build my supply back from there. geez, here I was thinking demand feeding would be the less stressful way to go?

[kelsbels]

Yep, I never wait long enough for him to demand a feed because I'm worried about low supply, which I had with my daughter but realise now it was under completely different circumstances. Pretty sure he would settle into a 3 hourly routine if I let him and I think I have to just trust that my body will do the right thing and fit into this routine. Ultimately, we have zero schedule or daily routine so I'm really unable to do any harm by letting him take the lead am I?

[HotI]

What do you think 'demand' looks like?

The ABA has recently put up pics demonstrating 'feeding cues'. https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/feeding-cues

I don't time feeds, but i don't think i go 3 hours between feeds atm (DS is 6.5 months). The only time would be if we are home and he has a big day sleep.

[SunnyRain]

You may be concerned about your supply because by 5 months your boobs are well and truly producing just what they're asked to produce so you won't feel full and you may not get much sensation of let down any more. They're just quietly doing their job while you get on with things and your bub sets to getting on with things, too. The world is very interesting at 5 months.

But there's never been a baby choose to starve, and boobs remain an excellent way to soothe a grumpy bub. So even if he's not actually hungry, offering the boob for some peace and quiet never hurt anyone.

With demand feeding, you can offer as much as you want, but don't kill yourself. If you have something else on and he's perfectly happy, or fast asleep, don't worry about how many hours have past. Ditch the timer completely, just feed when he's hungry or when you feel like it. Easy.

[onthefly]

You know what? He's 5 months old, he's growing and doing well, so it's working. But if you want to try changing things up, you can do that too!

[HotI]

Oh yeah, meant to add that on the end but got distracted. It's ok to change or try new things, but what you are doing sounds ok too.

[Barb Glare]

It's understandable you might be concerned about milk supply if you have had problems with another child. and people are keen to feed you up with stories about "my milk just dried up" - it doesn't. You make milk according to their needs. As they get older they often have long stretches without a feed - this is fine; enjoy the break! Nothing will happen to your milk. At 1-2 years your baby might only want a couple of feeds per day. Hey presto you make a couple of feeds per day! At this age they might have some 3hrly feeds, but many babies would have 6- hours breaks (sometimes even overnight - LOL) Leave it in his hands and see what he wants

[beckoes]

with both of my DDs i demand fed, a little more relaxed the second time round sounds like your doing great, relax, trust your body, like others said, its very unikley that you will loose supply now that BF is so established, both mine will have little short BFs in the day and cluster feeding over night. see how you go for a few days following him and im sure he will let you know if its working out or not.
good luck

[Chrispe]

How do you/did you demand feed? Did you set a limit, ie 3 hours if bubs was sleeping or still not demanding that you would feed?
I'm struggling with the whole demand feeding concept and to be honest, i think I've been feeding DS too frequently which has resulted in him only snacking all day and then having his main 'meals' at night. I'm not really waiting for him to demand but instead feeding him constantly because I'm worried about losing my supply if he doesn't demand often enough. Stupid huh?
So from tomorrow I thought I'd set an end limit, ie 3 hours and but still feed him earlier if he wants to (evening cluster feeds etc).

He's 5 months. I thought I was doing well but clearly, I've got no idea :/

Lol Kels you are doing well! There's actually nothing wrong with him 'snacking' during the day, unless of course you are feeling overwhelmed by the amount of feeding. (which I'm sure we all do at times). Honestly with all mine I demand fed from newborn but have found with each child they tend to put themselves in a 3-4 hourly pattern between 3 and 6 months of age. If you are needing that extra time between feeds for yourself by all means be free to let him go until he is asking/ demanding to be fed. But if you are finding what you are doing is working for you then keep it up.

After 5 months of breastfeeding it's not likely that you will lose your supply- healthy 5 month olds tend to have a strong enough suck and appetite to keep the milk there.

What you wrote above sounds like a great plan! All the best!

[kelsbels]

Thankyou! So barb, is there still the need for a minimum amount of feeds to maintain supply at 5 months or is that only when establishing?

Today was a mess while we were out all day so a bit hard to decipher hunger from tiredness so we'll start afresh tomorrow. Can't believe how hard this all can be!!

[Barb Glare]

Let your baby be your guide! the problems is that often babies are politely asking their mothers for feed and mum is busy and distracted or has people's ideas of a "good baby feeds 4 hrly" running through her head and doesn't feed enough. If you respond to your baby's need you will be fine

[~ Mylitta ~]

I've demand fed all three of my babies and I think at around 4-5 months each time I've started doubting my supply and thinking I might need to boost it. I think it's just because around this age is when your breasts have worked out things pretty good and very rarely ever get that really full feeling, let alone feel engorged. Once they start feeling less full I seem to worry that there's no enough in there. My worries have been unfounded each time, and now I'm breastfeeding three kids and my breast still make enough for all of them without ever feeling really full.

My idea of demand feeding seems to be that I offer a feed every time my baby starts to fuss. Arlia very rarely cries because as soon as she starts to fuss I just offer her a breast and even if she just takes feeds for a minute or two it seems to cheer her up. I never time intervals between feeds, but during the day when she is awake I would guess she probably feeds about hourly on average. She often sleeps for 3-4 hour naps during they day and I never wake her specifically for a feed. She feeds about 2-3 hourly during the night.

I started out timing the intervals between with my first, but I quickly worked out that we were happiest when I stops timing and just followed cues, even if that cue was just getting a little cranky

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

What about expressing to keep your supply up if you're worried about it? So, you could stretch out what you're offering for bub if he doesn't seem hungry, but still keep your supply and build up a bit of a stockpile for times you're out.

[trishalishous]

My DD was FTT, so I offered a feed 2 hourly in the day, if she hadnt asked before then.