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I am 20 now but i had my daughter just before my 19th bday. I dont usually get looks from people coz i have told i look older than i am. The worst time i had was the stay in hosptial, some of the older midwives didnt bother to help me out as much while the younger ones lent me their shoulder to cry on with the lack of support with my baby being in ICU, helped me hand express and even lent me her own breast pump when they ran out. I am a young mum, and i am very proud to be one. One anonymous person even commented on my blog "Arent you a bit young to be married, and to have a baby???!!!!" OMG!! My blood was boiling i tell ya! My defense is that I have done what i wanted to do in life, dating, clubbing, university (i havent finshed tho), the only thing i havent done is travel, but i have plenty of time for that. I have a wonderful husband who helps out where he can, busting his balls out to give us everything we ever wanted. All i can say that i am young, a mum, married, and i am more happy now than i have ever been! And i know alot of young mums out there who feel the same way......we deserve to be happy too don't we??
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I agree with you kellielam.... the defense I mean. I feel that I have also done all my partying and acting like a teenager. I'm very happy with my family life. As long as we are happy what does it matter? My daughter doesn't care how old I am.
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I seem to get lots comments and lots to my face too. I am young yes but i will be 21 when my baby is born. I am 6'3" so i am not small. I think it because i live in a farely upper class suburb. Even if i was 30 i think i would get comments.
The other day i was catching the bus and i always pause my ipod so i can say hello to the bus driver. When i put my ticket into the validating machine i heard him say under his breath, "if my daughter was that young and pregnant i would punch her in the stomach". I turned around and got off of the bus. I just waited for the next bus even though it was a 40 degree day.
When i go shopping i get really tired so when my DF pays for the groceries i sit on the bench out the front. I am sick of the comments people walk up to me and say. "it is never too late to have an abortion, you just have to know the right doctor". "if you have a baby at your age no man will ever love you," I have an engagement ring on! At the supermarket it is very rare to see women under 35 with a baby. One woman even came up and said "I know you cant want your baby at your age, i would love to adopt so the baby can have a proper life".:angry:
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Oh mi God FishyFishy.... I can't believe that people would say that to you! Hold on, yeah I can, but still.... oh dear I feel so much for you, how people can be so rude to someone they don't know. And someone that they have no idea of the situation, the circumstances..... its so pathetic it is literally making me sick with anger right now.
If I were you and I'd heard someone the bus driver say that, I'd take his name, the bus number the route you were on and report him because I don't think anyone can say that let alone a bus driver. They must answer to someone.
I'm tall too and I have always been really skinny, I do not and nor have I ever had an eating disorder but when I got pregnant people naturally assumed I was a crack addict or a heroin addict.... that was hard to deal with. I wasnt drinking, smoking or even having a class of coke while I was pregnant with my daughter.
Now I have my little girl and the shops we frequent are sort of used to us now, of course at first we got stares, but now people now we are for real, we a married couple with a daughter we love very much. And we survived peoples accusations and nasty snide remarks and I'm sure I'll hear even more when I get pregnant again and have a big belly and a toddler.... its sad but its true.
But as long as we know there are others who go through the same **** and we just adopt the personality of 'you cant judge us by age, judge us by our parenting skill once we have the kid' like everybody else.
Good luck..... and I do ramble on, I'm sorry.
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Fishy - Ok now Im mad! Why is it that when you are under thirty or so called Generation Y, you are simply too young and stupid to have a baby of your own, when most of our mothers were our age when we were born. These people need to realise that we dont all live at home with our parents and play on the play station all day, that we actually want to live our lives.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, and I really hope that you dont have to put up with any more rubbish, because this is truly the best time in your life (it has been for me).
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Hi
Most people when I say that I'm 21 are amazed that I have my life in order at such a young age. I always make sure I mention something about my husband when I'm in the parents room in shopping centres coz I know that some of the women in there are thinking something critical. My main point when people give me strange looks is that I was lucky enough to find mr right young, settle down and have a family while i'm still young enough to get on the floor and play with my kids. some of the 30+ mums I see find it too hard to get on the floor or are too focussed on their careers to really enjoy their kids. I think what's unfair on kids is the attitude that young mums are going to be incompetent and all I can say is it's the older ones that are more likely to be incompetent because they don't have the time or energy. Personally I don't want to be in my late 50s with a teenager. i'd rather be in my 30s.
