Assuming it's an accident

Wow hamilton that's absolutely disgusting, how rude I hope he got in trouble!

My Fiance and I didn't plan our bubba (for another 3 yrs), but we weren't really preventing it either. I had the morning after pill....guess he was determined.
It was a shock at first but now we both couldn't be happier!
When Joel told the guys at work (all young army boys) one of his "mates" said "Your and idiot, what were you thinking??? Your too young" Joel just glared at him and I think he got the picture.
I just think that it is disgusting that people feel that they can make a comment about another persons life like that. Just because it's something that they don't want!!!Their beliefs should never come into it.
Don't worry about what people say. You are in a loving relationship with your partner and have bought a little piece of the both of you into this world to love, nurture and cherish. That is all that matters!!!

I hear stories like this and think to myself, if people are looking at people your age, who are 22 and 23 etc, who have stable jobs and relationships, what they can say about people who are my age and in my situation. I really think they have no right to judge... It takes a lot of strength to have the decision to have a baby, and obviously they think we're too young because they're not ready to grow up and take on such responsibilites, if that makes sense.

congrats celtic moon! Sorry, i didnt see your post sooner. I see you just had your son. Thats why these forums are so great, you have a built in support group without judgement

Ladies
I am 31 now ( very old I know) but I was only 19 when I fell pg with DS1. I knew it could happen but with the Ex not wanting to use anything and me being very naive, I didn't say anything. The ex and I split when he found out about DS1 and refused to have anything to do with him.
I was 22 with DD2, and I took the morning after pill!
DS2 was conceived when I was 24, and then 11 months later DD2 was conceived.

I was a later mum with my last two though.

What I am trying to say is, ppl can be rude! If ppl said anything to me, I just turned and walked away, my thoughts were if they were going to be rude, then I can be rude straight back.

Thanks rockchick, yep this thread just keeps on keeping on lol. Now I just get the "you don't look like you've just had a baby" and "wow you look young to be a mum!" I just say "yep avon does wonders" lol. But at the same time I get people ask if he is my first, if he isn't where's the rest of the tribe I only have one pram with one kidlet LOL

I got really annoyed with people assuming that my pregnancy wasn't planned too.
During my pregnancy, my fingers swelled up so badly I was unable to wear my wedding and engagement rings, and I began to notice very obvious stares from strangers that would take in the expanding belly, then move to the left hand and eyebrows would shoot up in disapproval when they noticed there were no rings.
And yes, the 'But you're so young, why would you want to ruin your life by having kids so early?' (direct quote, by the way) comments really irked me. I've always planned on marrying young and starting a family ASAP... I can always have a career when the kids go to school, rather than wait until my system is shot and then having to spend a fortune on IVF or something. To me, being a mum, whether young or not-so-young, is a much more rewarding career than any other profession you care to name, so I'm proud to be a 21-year-old mum. People need to stop being so close-minded and realise that sometimes young people make the best parents.

I think it is disgusting the way our society judges. Us younger mums don't judge those who wait till they're 35 before ttc. It's just not fair! if we weren't meant to have kids at 19, we wouldn't get our period then! also, there is a huge difference with being mentally young and age young.

that's my rant 4 today :D

Congrats on the birth of your DS Celticmoon.

I'm 18, DP is 20, and our daughter was a . . . surprise lol. People do judge, but unfortunately, there's nothing you can do. I didn't have the experience of friends ditching me because of my pregnancy, but I did lose a lot because all of a sudden, I couldn't go out and get drunk or whatever and wasn't very fun to be around anymore. I don't know, to be honest, you don't even seem that young to me! But perhaps thats because I was 17 when I became pregnant.

lol, one thing a few people commented on was that my 21st was 4 days before Ryan was born. "At least you can say you were a mum at 21 not 20!" Really what's the difference?

Lol. I don't think there is any difference. You're still 21, with or without a baby.
Haha. It's not like your life stops.

Our son wasn't planned. I had him a couple months before I turned 20.
I wouldn't change anything for the world.

I actually think this planned pregnancy now is more nerve-racking then the first one.
lol.

xx

What is wrong with society? Is there a big book to say when you should fall pregnant?

Well my DP and I are having our first, it was planned and I'm 29...I would never judge someone who is 18 having a baby because a lot of them take responsibility and turn out to be excellent Mums, even those who are single.

There was actually a thread on here about Britney Spears' sister getting pregnant at 16. So what! Do you personally know her and her circumstances? I really think there are far too many judgemental people out there.

Celtic Moon, just shrug them off, friends come and go...it's those true friends that stick with you...

Bindy, I just realised you are due!!! let us know how you go!! :D and congratulations!!!

Celticmoon, I agree with Bindy, True friends will stick by you!! And also I had to laugh at the comment made to you about being 21 not 20. Brendan was due 2 weeks before my 21st Bday, so I knew I was going to be a mum at 20.... but Brendan came 1day before my XP's Bday, so he was at dad at 20 too!!! And there is no difference it's not like when you turn 21 you become more responsible and able to look after a baby?!! If you weren't like it the day before you're not now!! LOL funny business......

I crack my self up when people ask about Brendan and the comments about how young I am and my reply is , he was planned (We weren't actively TTC, just not stopping nature!)!! The expressions are priceless!!!

Have Fun tonight Girls! Take Care

My parents keep asking me if we are using contraception.

Im not ready to tell them im pregnant yet.. Im only almost 6 weeks and if i lose the baby again i feel mum would be even more upset.

PLUS: I dont want to tell them yet. DP and I are having a great time just keeping it to ourselves!

I know they are going to think that bubs is an accident.. but we are going to push the fact that we wanted this bub and tried for him/her

Banx, I know a lot of people who wait until 12 wks to tell people... even family. 12 wks is a "safe" gestation. I'm sure your mum is going to be thrilled to be a grandma :D Make sure you stick to your guns, this baby was planned and there is nothing anyone can tell you that is different!
Good luck with your pregnancy!
Take Care

Banx i i told everybody when i found out except my parents. I found out on a Monday and waited and told them o a Tuesday i enjoyed just with DP b4 getting grilled by my fam, or so i thought i would b. Myself and my fam r wogs so sex b4 marriage is really NOT loved by them, but they dealed with it i believe that ppl usually react the way u show them 4 eg: if ur exstatic about it and a big smile and break it 2 them with a big smile on ur face then more often then not they'll relise ur happy and in the end thats all ur mummy wants 4 u.
Stuff anyone else's thoughts, i look alot younger then 20yrs and i dont recall any bad looks or comments throughout my pg or even now. Hold ur head high and enjoy it coz if u dont u'll regret giving a rats ass about wat anyone else thinks.

Celtic moon, no need to let people get you down! i was 19 when DD was born, best suprise i have ever had! Sometimes i joke that she was the best mistake too!
I remember once when i had to go to the specialist, the lady at the counter automatically asked for a health care card (assumed i was a single mum cos i was so young) I was sooo offended!!! (not that there is anything wrong with having a health care card, i know that sounds terrible, i had one my self when i left my ex) it was just that she assumed as i was so young.
Turn the clock back 25 years and having kids at our age was totally the norm!!

yeah yrs ago if u weren't married and at the very least pg by the time u were 16 then u were looked down apon, yrs ago. Now just coz society decided we should have a career etc doesn't mean we should.