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Hi,
I thought id add to this discussion.
I'm currently 19, and me and my partner have been trying for a baby for 2 yrs. So i definatly know all the critasism people get, especially when i was diagnosed with pcos last yr and need help in "getting pregnant".
Through my experience each new doctor i see as soon as they learn my age their attitude changes to the "there's no rush on things she's plenty young". They just make you feel like a little child, but with everyone out there, everyone has had a different upbringing, as the only girl in the house and 9 brothers i was raised to stay at home and look after the group. My mother was a stay at home house wife and in which I learnt to be as well.
It's a real pain in the a** really, but don't let anyone discourage you no matter how young you feel, they only thing that should influence you is
A) are you in a stable relationship.
B) Both partners want a child, and it's not just something to keep the relationship going.
C) You know what's going to be involved, the lack of personal time, early morning feeding, diapers etc.
D) Cost. My personal beleifs are, if you can't support yourself, you can't support a baby, centrelink shouldn't be counted on for a means of a replacement job. I now live in a small rural community where that is the main means of income. And then, go window shopping, make a list of everything you will need to buy and calculate if you could actually afford it, if not i'd definatly think twice.
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I've been reading your posts here with interest, since I'm not in the same situation and wondered what it was like for everyone.
I totally agree that the most important thing is a committed relationship, some stability (I can't believe some of you have already taken on mortgages, etc - you obviously have got it together LOL!), and the travel/careers thing is complete bubkus (sp?)!
I can assure you that at 28, I did not spend the last 10 years travelling and partying either. It just isn't for everyone (and I'd love to know how many of those people who tell you to did it themselves). I did finish my degree and focus on my career a little - but mainly with the intention of working myself into a situation where I could work part-time from home as a consultant. And that didn't take until I was in my 30s!
My DP and I have been together almost 6 years and this bubs was not planned, but we are both as happy as can be. We got together when I was 22 and I've been working towards having this family since then! Even back then, we spent most of our time at home and when we took holidays, it wasn't to party and go overseas.
People should stop telling everyone else what to do. Kids need loving parents and happy homes. Full stop.
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Hi guys,
I first fell pg a few weeks before my 16th birthday and quits school only to miscarry the week after I quit.
I tried returning to school but found it had as I knew that what I was studying wasn't interesting to me anymore.
I moved to the country with my parents and met my DH a month before my 17th birthday.
We had talked about wanting children and getting married. DH was going to propose to me on our 6 month anniversary but I found out I was pg after only being together 5 months (unplanned as I was on the pill).
We soon realised that this is what we wanted and were getting really excited. I miscarried when I was 10 weeks pg. We decided to get married on our baby's due date.
Whilst planning our wedding I became pg again (only a month before the wedding day) but miscarried again 1 week after finding out. We got married 26 days after my 18th birthday.
4 months after getting married I fell pg again and was terrified I was going to miscarry so I was under alot of supervision by my ob until I was 12 weeks.
Now we have a very gorgeous daughter who is our little miracle child. She was born 1 year and 1 month to the date after our first child was due and when we got married.
I am so happy with my choice to get married young and have a family. My family is my life and I would be lost without my husband or my daughter.
If you feel like having a baby is what you both want, then I say go for it, and don't worry about what anyone says. It is your life and you know what is best for you.
Good luck with TTC and I will send some baby dust your way.
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This place is so encouraging! =D> Its so good to hear from other young mums or mums to be! I am 24yrs and 30 weeks pregas with 2nd bub. I had Matthew when I was 20. I love being a mum, I really believe that falling pregas with Matthew saved me from myself and in a way saved my life.
DP and I had only been together for 3months. He wanted me to have an abortion, but I just knew that this was a blessing. Our relationship has been rocky to say the least- I think that he feels that I took away his choices about when he wanted to start a family. Being a young parent is hard especially when you feel like you are on a different planet to your partner.
To cut a long story short, we broke up when Matt was 3months old and I did the single mum thing for 2years. That was hard even with a supportive family!!
We have been back together for a year now and I'm glad that Matt wont remember those first few turbulent years.
DP is a really good dad but our relationship is still rocky at the best of times. Being pregnant again is great. I cant wait to have another little Matty running around. If I had a supportive partner I would love to have heaps of kids!! Please let me know if there is anyone else with similar thoughts or experiences :D
