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Thread: Planned pregnancy at 19

  1. #1
    elise1888 Guest

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    Last edited by elise1888; June 2nd, 2008 at 06:05 PM.

  2. #2

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    Hi there Kim!!

    I fell pg about 1 month after my 20th birthday... so I was a pretty similar age to you!
    I didn't plan my pregnancy at all, and had a HUGE battle with my partner who wanted me to have an abortion...
    However I wanted my baby sooooo much, there was no way i would even contemplate doing what my partner wanted.
    Now 1.5 years later we are still happily together with our darling Aidyn who is nearly 1 year old.

    Anyway, GOOD ON YOU!! I think that is just awesome, if you and your fiance are both wanting to have a baby, then why on earth not!?!?
    It's a pity that in this day and age you should have to feel alone with wanting to plan a pregnancy at 19, when in our mothers day it was considered totally normal and common!
    My mum already had #1 by the time she was 19 and was pg with #2 as well!

    Wishing you the best of luck with TTC Kim... :luck:

  3. #3
    Rebbecca1982 Guest

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    Hi Kim,

    I was pregnant at 16 and still in school, which was very unplanned. I had been with my partner for about 2 years at the time and he wanted me to have an abortion but I wouldn't and he accepted that.

    I went back to school the next year and completed year 12 (with my parents help babysitting). After school his dad and I split up and I raised him by myself for a few years but now his dad sees him every second weekend and I have a partner of 2 years who helps me out a lot.

    I am now 22 and my son is 6 years old. He is a very clever, polite and well behaved child. Even though I was so young I think I've done a better job so far than some parents I see with children the same age as him.

    Hope everything goes as well for you as it has for me.
    Rebbecca.

  4. #4

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    Yeah hun, I hear ya,
    We're in the same boat (me-20 DP-24) and we're so ready to start trying,
    have had a little bit of a hold-up with DP only working casual, but once he's on full time we should be sweet
    I don't know anyone my age who's looking at planning pg!... and not many older ones either! But it's what we want to do, so we will do it.
    Have you guys started trying yet? We might end up being on the journey together...
    Either way feel free to drop me an email if you want to chat - katrinaleevagg @ hotmail . com (no spaces)

  5. #5
    elise1888 Guest

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  6. #6
    elise1888 Guest

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  7. #7

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    I fell pg at 17 and 8mths and it was so not planned at all! I never found out i was pg until about 12 weeks. I had already left school a month before i fell pg so that wasnt a problem luckly!

    Hopefully this is your month Kim! My fingers are crossed for you.

  8. #8
    stace Guest

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    Hi Kimm,

    I am in the same situation as you. I am also 19 and TTC. I don't have a problem with becoming pregnant at a younger age. DP and i have been together for 2 years or so now, and i couldn't imagin having a child with anyone else. We have not been trying seriously like taking temps or anything, just not using contraception.

    What are your thoughts on TTC at 19.

    Good Luck

  9. #9
    elise1888 Guest

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  10. #10

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    if it is planned, i dont think it is a matter of age, it is a matter of being in a suitable position to provide for a child. obviously there are those that have unplanned pregnancies at young ages, and they make do whith what they have, and make their situations work for them because they have to.

    what i am trying to say is whether you are 19 or 29, and you have the luxury of being able to plan for it, if you are thinking about having a baby sensibly in terms of being able to put food in it's mouth, clothes on it's back, and a roof over it' s head, and can provide all these things, then go for it.

  11. #11

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    hey kimm,
    my first was unplanned at 2 weeks before i turned 19, second one was planned and im only just turned 22

    i dont know if u have msn but i added u to my list anyway, hope u dont mind, mine is [email protected]

    take care
    Lesley

  12. #12

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    Hey Kimm

    I know exactly how you feel! My DH & I met when I was 16 and he was 19. We bulit a house together when I was 18 and were married a year later. The pressure we have had on us not to procreate from certain family members has been huge! (Never mind what is is that we want!)

    It has gotten to the point that when we TTC we won't be telling them to avoid the whole travel/career/you've got your all life ahead of you/pay some more money off of your mortgage/blah blah blah arguements!! After 4 and a half years of being together and making our own decisions you would think they would realise we are going to do things our way not theirs!!

    Good luck with TTC. I wish you all the best! I am also around if you want to chat more!

  13. #13
    Marshmallow Guest

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    I had to jump in with both feet here ...

    My husband and I have decided to start trying for a baby. I'm 21, he's 22. Our parents are the complete opposites - mine are so excited at the prospect of a grandchild! My brother's gf is pregnant, due in a month, and my mum is so excited about that, she keeps asking when we'll have a playmate for him!
    *grin*

    DH's parents, however ... oh boy. His mother has been saying ever since we announced our engagement how we should wait at least 10 years for babies. A friend of mine has recently had a darling little girl, and every time I mention her, his mother leaps in with a comment about how they waited five years, and we'd be wise to wait longer, how we should think about our careers etc ... it bothers me a lot, but I usually just smile.

    However, with certain medical histories in my family, plus problems that could make it very difficult to have children later, DH and I have decided to go for it now, to make the most of our youth, and start the family we both want.

    I know what you mean about feeling alone - most of my friends are out clubbing or "being young" (their words, not mine!) while I am happy to sit at home playing scrabble with my husband on a saturday night. He and I are at a different mindset to our friends - we want to settle down with a house and a dog and a couple of little ones, and they want to go to raves. Different strokes for different folks.

    But I get so much grief from my gfs - they keep "helpfully reminding" me that a baby will end my social life ... that having a baby will change my life forever, that I'll never get back these years and if I "waste" them by having babies, I'll regret it when I'm old.

    I actually went off at girl I know last week - she was the one who made the comment about "wasting" my youth by having babies and regretting it when I was older. I look at my mum, who had her first child at 19, and these days is happy to sit with her grown children, hearing about what we do, spending time with us and our families, and soon, she will be playing with her grandchildren. She seems to be perfectly content, despite having children really early. I have two friends who have small children, and I know they wouldn't swap them for anything in the world.

    In fact, I'd go as far as to say that now is the perfect time for me to have kids - my parents are young enough to enjoy being grandparents, we're young enough to really play with our kids, (and by that I mean no disrespect to older parents!) and I have a couple of friends that I could share this time with, while their children are young.

    Goodness, this post went on a bit long!
    I dare anyone to tell me that age should be a deterrant in having a baby. The only advantage I can see in being older is that people won't look down on you!

    Good luck on your TTC journey - if both you and your fiance want a baby, then it's the right time for a baby! Don't let anyone meddle in what is essentially your decision.

  14. #14
    stace Guest

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    Kimm,
    Good for you, that is so good that you DF's mum is standing by you no matter what. We get the same lecture, but i agree it is totally natural to want to have a child, no matter what age, as long as both partners are ready.
    Good on you, i don't feel like the only one now.

    Good Luck

  15. #15

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    Go Marshmallow!!! =D> =D> =D> Thanks for the long post!!

    I couldn't have said it better myself. My MIL is exactly the same!!! Just the other day I was telling her that we thought a family friend was pregnant and she goes "At least I know your not going to go and get pregnant!!" *disdainful tone* And worse she pretends to have nothing to do with our decisions yet everytime we see her some comment is always dropped!!

    And we are so homebodies like you. We hate parties and crowded spaces, clubs etc!! We love spending time with our family and walking the dog and being at home together!

    Different strokes for different folks!! Excellent (why can't other people understand that!?!?)

  16. #16

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    hey marshmellow
    my mil is the same too, we were married in october last year and she was like "ohh your going to wait years and years blah blah blah..." kept going on about how ahrd they are etc.. to which we always replied we knew as I had had a child to my ex when i was 19 and it annoyed me to tears how she kept going on about how we shouldnt have kids early.. and i was like, ermm how bout joshua.. and she just replied "thats different" dont see how.. so anyway we didnt told her we were trying but she never took us seriously, still didnt when we told her we were pregnant she ahd to ring back to make sure we werent lying lol, now shes over the moon though and cant wait to be a proper grandma..

    my dad wasnt too impressed when i told him i was pregnant again either but hes ok with it now, was worse when i was first pregnant said i was ruining my life i disagreed and said i was making my life better (my step mum in the background was calling me a liar and a s***) i guess they slowly got used to it though.

    take care
    Lesley

  17. #17

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    I found out I was pregnant with my wonderful son Isaac just after my 18th birthday. He was not exactly planned (I was on the pill and had been sick for a couple of weeks, sometimes these things happen) but I have never once regretted having him. My only piece of advice to the young mums to be is that you should not doubt yourself just because you are young. Because I was looked down on and made to feel foolish for what I was doing, I doubted everything I did, I never questioned the doctors or midwives or told them how I was feeling or anything, and that was a big mistake. Isaac is six and a half now, very sweet and smart and well adjusted, and I know thats because I am a good mum, and I am sure you all will be too.
    Well, thats that off my chest, lol
    Good luck to everyone TTC!!

  18. #18
    elise1888 Guest

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