Hi Ladies,
After a long period away from BB, I am feeling the need to find some old (and maybe new) friends again.
We are very lucky to be blessed with 2 gorgeous children both concieved with ART after numerous losses and heartache.
Should I not just be grateful for what we have and move on in life? That is what many around me would say. However, my dream has ALWAYS been to have 3 children and I just cannot shake it. I'm not sure I will ever be truly content without my "complete" family.
We had 1 frozen blast left from DD's cycle which we tx in july - chem pg. I was not to disheartened as I knew I could never hang my hopes on that one ewmbie -So jumped straight into a fresh stim IVF cycle (day 5 tx) which has just ended in BFN.
I am really devastated right now not just by the BFN but with all the issues that surround it.
I'm not working atm so the costs of IVF become a really significant isssue.
I'm about to turn the big 40 which I had been trying to ignore but is playing heavily on my mind now.
I have not really told anyone about TTC because a) I'll get the standard "why would you put yourself through that again? or "can't you just be grateful for what you have?
b) Its hard not to feel guilty about wanting no3 so badly when many cannot even achieve one precious child
I DO know how lucky we are but I can't help what my heart wants
I guess what I'm struggling with is that I don't have any real support nor feel I can look out for it.
I don't want to upset anyonehere on BB trying hard for no 1 or 2 who would look at me with green eyes. Just wondering if there's anyone trying for more children with IVF and how you deal with it all
We have one frostie from this past cycle so will certainly give that a go in a month or so but after that it comes down to how many more times do we keep going?
DH is not desperate for another but wants my dream fulfilled - however the money will start to become an issue with him soon
Agghhhh, I thought I was far more mentally realaxed this time around but I now realise I still want this as badly as I wanted 1 and 2.
Sorry for all my rambling - just needed to vent!
Last edited by MeredithD; August 28th, 2011 at 10:55 AM.
Welcome back MeredithD. Lovely to see you. I don't have any way to help about your issue, but I'm sure there are a number of women in here who will probably be able to assist.
WRT your signature - if you go to "Settings" at the top, there's a menu on the side with "Signature" which will enable you to change yours.
I still remember you turning up to a BB meetup when your DS was 5 days old. You're a legend.
I have only just had #2, so am not in your position (yet), but have already found myself hoping that this isn't the last child I will nurse. I think that you should get rid of the guilt. Why do we do that to ourselves? Guilty because others haven't had their first or second, guilty because you feel like you aren't being grateful enough for your first two and guilty for whatever other reason we can conjure up. There is nothing selfish about wanting to nurture and love another child, or for wanting to give your children the beautiful gift of another sibling.
It is so hard to know how far to go when relying on ART. Once you start, it is so hard to stop after a BFN when you are always thinking what if it only takes just one more cycle??! I don't know - I don't have any answers, nor does anyone other than you, but whatever you decide, I wish you the very best of luck! You obviously love being a mother and have a lot of love to give xo
I dont think your silly at all to want to try for No.3. Just because you have had a lot of toruble getting there, doesnt mean you need to settle for less than what you want!! I would say there may be a line if physically or emotionally or financially things are really bad after trying for another baby, that you may need to think about how important it is compared to not being able to afford food for th ekids you have, or being too sick to care for them.. but as long as your all good and its all good, then I say keep trying until your family is complete!!! !!!
I just wanted to welcome you back (I was HannahD when you were here last).
I don't think there is any harm in continuing to pursue your dream. As you said, your heart wants what it wants. If you don't try, you'll always wonder 'what if?'. As StarBright said, you need to figure out how far your willing to go to achieve your dream family of 5. It's probably better to figure out where the line is sooner rather than adopt a wait and see approach. It might be easier to be at peace just in case you do reach that line.
That's just my 2-cents bearing in mind I've never been in a similar situation. I really just wanted to welcome you back and wish you all the best xx
Hi Meredith,
Wanting more children doesn't make you ungrateful for the ones you have - regardless of how they were conceived.
We have 2 conceived via IVF and have 2 embryos in the freezeer, so we will most likely go again. I tell myself now that by then I'll be pushing 37, and that will be that - if it works, great, if not.... but I may well feel differently if it comes to it.
I guess you have to balance your heart against your head a bit, especially once money becomes an issue. I hope that little embryo works out for you
Anyone TTC no 3 (or more) on IVF?
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