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I have to totally agree Castle, especially when you have more than 2 kids (which makes it hard to qualify for a family ticket). What really bugs me is that the price can differ so much from cinema to cinema. There is one near me that has $7 tickets on Tuesdays but in the holidays you can imagine how busy they get. I remember paying $65 for 4 tickets not so long ago. Then add your drinks and popcorn and it could easily cost $100 to see one movie! Definately cheaper to wait for it come out on DVD! LOL
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it is everthings so dear no wonder nobodys got no money
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Oh yes, Castle, have to agree with you there, although our local cinema has $8 tickets on Sundays but to go to the bigger places it costs a sall fortune. That's why we only do it once in the school holidays.
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hey girls the hols are over for me yeha sorry for those who still have kids at school. Ive a question for those who have step kids living with them, My DD 12 and i had a huge fight this morn long story short i said what i shouldnt out of anger a that ive been up since 11:23PM last night with bubs 4months she tells me she would rather live with her father i tell ya i felt like somone had just kicked me in the guts what do i do ? to be honest life with her is very difficult and has been for somtime shes been having periods since she was 8 not much fun i know poor thing but what about the people living with her how much do we put up with? the week before is usually like this not so bad a combination of lack of sleep on my behalf iv said sorry for the things i said i told her to go to her dad he wont put up with the crap either i new as soon as i left my mouth i was going to be sorry but the other little kids hide when she start s she takes it out on them they cry i stress then take it out on DH in short we all suffer becouse of this. So should i have he go to her fathers she would have to change schools and live in a caravan in the back of her grand parants yard she seems to not care i wont pay maitence becouse i dont work he would have to quick work becouse of the hours or pay for care she dont care she i need time away from her but i dont want her not to want to come back do i let her go? my pride bruised heart ache knowing what i went through when i was with her father the abuse she blames me for the breakup then him leaving up with nothing i had to go work in a meat works and find child care at 4:30am becouse i had to start at 5am i had it tough he went home to mum and dad and didnt pay a cent and now she want s to be with him it hurts so much what do i do i need help ive know one to ask i havnt had a mother in my life since she died when i was 9 i have wished for her to be in my life everyday since it hurts that she pushes me away.
kath
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Oh :hug: sweety Well no step children here, and I'd hate to be walking in your shoes right now and you can tell me shut up but this is JMO. I would say letting a hormonal 12yo go and live in a caravan with very little parental supervision to get up to God knows what is 1. probably exactly what she wants and 2. a very bad idea. It would probably be the easier option right now given your situation with the arguing and having a new baby, but I think she needs your tough love. I'd tell her it is because you love her and want to protect her that you want her to stay home with you. Given that XH is living in a caravan at the back of his parents house, I'm guessing he probably isn't the most responsible person, can you trust him to keep her inline in these tentative years? Can he provide for her and be there for her? I don't doubt that he loves her and would probably love for her to come and stay but as they say "Love don't pay the rent"!! What hours is he working?
If she's this hormonal I would get her to the Doctors quick smart and gert her on the pill, not for birth control but for regulation of those hormones. My 11yo is only really just starting with the whole hormomal crap and can be quite nasty, I'm hoping it won't be a perminent fixture.
I think if you let go now you might lose her. I know it's hard but maybe she really needs some one on one time with you, just the two of you, it might help with some harmony as she will feel loved and wanted. And remember the hormones aren't here forever and one day that sweet little girl will return to you.
I say give her boundaries but be flexible and don't let let cross the line, tough love is needed. I wouldn't play her game, Just be calm when speaking to her as soon as you yell she has won.If you stay calm and consistant she will learn that she can't break you. You are the adult she is the child and right now she thinks she rules the nest, she needs to be bought back into line and not given her own way on this one. I don't envy you right now and wish you luck, maybe some other mums have different ideas to me, I just think leting her go is the easy option, but definitely not in her best interests.
Good Luck
:hugs:
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Hi Kittykat
You poor thing. I also have kids to two different dads. My older three are to my first marriage. It can get very tough at times ! The first thing i would do is see about getting your DD on either evening primrose oil or if you know someone that does herbalife they have a product called tang kuei which is awesome ( maybe even look on eb#y for it) i know that helps as i used to be a distirbutor. That should help in settling her hormones a bit which will make the household a better place for everyone.
I definately wouldnt let her go to her fathers to live , i refused to split my kids up when eh and i split, he wanted our son but not the girls. So i said they all stay with me until they are old enough to support themselves or finish school! It also makes them ralise that they are still very much wanted in my new marriage and life. It can be very hard sometimes to find something in common with daughters when they go though all this, I know i have had my ups and downs with my dd 13, so maybe just find something thats for the two of you, even if its just a cup of tea and chat about her fav book or something. Most times its a cry for i am feeling left out here! I hope this helps some. I really feel for you.
Cheers
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I just read your post Coolabahdee, you have some great advice there. I think htats the best thing about BB you can get different and sometimes same opinions which can really be helpful.
Hope everyone is having a good day. My kids go back to school tomorrow as we have that ministerial ppfd here today. It will be nice to have that one on one time with Mitchie and get the house in some sort of order again!!!
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thanks for the advice and support. We just had a nother blow over somthing really silly but this time DH put his foot down and she didnt like it at all he raised his finger to motion to silence her while he talk and she through his hand back with her own you can just imagine what came next she still gives attitude like shes the boss i dont get it nothing works i dont have a leg to stand on nothing no defence. Tomorrow arvo she has netball training and her father will be taking her so i guess shell have a whinge about everything that has gone on thats her right i guess but i have to deal with his crap then it never ends shes tight with her father that upsets me as i have done all the hard work hes been the good time dad this parenting stuff suxs
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Arrgh kittykat its tough isnt it. Its such a difficult age. My eldest two are from a previous relationship though my husband has been Dad since Emmy was 18 months old and Jess was 3. I definately think your dd needs to be with you, especially at this delicate age. It can be tough at times, but like Dee has said it doesnt sound like the most ideal sort of situation for your dd in a caravan right now. Ride it out, it will get better. Ive always found though, that because Darren married into an existing family, despite the children being so young, it worked better for us for me to be the main disciplinarian. I hope its gets better for you. I can remember so vividly being that age, and its just a whirwind of emotions!!!
Jo
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Hey kittykat :hug: for you hun! Its so tough in your situation. Mine no longer have any contact with their father (his choice) so it actually makes life a lot eaiser now. But when they did have contact everything was my fault. If i came to pick them up early cause he had something else to do it was my fault (unfortunately this was most weekends) he would tell them they could do things knowing that they weren't allowed to do them at home just to stir things up here! It worked at first but in the end they learnt that what he says does not go in our house and as this is where they spend the majority of their time they need to behave themselves here. We split when my eldest had just had his 7th B'day and my baby ( no 3) was only 10mths old. he told me i couldn't last and nobody would want me with 3 kids (i was with him at the age of 15 and preg within 3 mths of seeing him) so i believed him, but i left with no support and i survived. I also found a man who loves my kids as his own and we got together about 7mths after i left exh. We have survived through a lot of stuff caused through the ex but thankfully our kids have always seen my hubby as their Dad and have never thrown it in his face that he isnt.
I don't know what advice i can give you other than to stay strong on what you believe is right and keep plodding along. I know some days its hard to see through the turmoil, but you will get through it with your daughter by your side if you just keep trying. Does she like to help with the little ones ( not sure how many kiddies you have) i know my eldest dd loves to spend time with our youngest ds(he seems to be the only one she gets along with some days).
Maybe the time she has with her dad will give you all some time to calm down and give you some time to sort out another approach. Sometimes time can do wonders.
Is there anyway you can organise time to go to the movies with just her, i know my dh did this with our eldest dd (13) as they were struggling to find some common ground and it worked for them.
I think that sometimes we get so busy running around after teh littlies that we forget to give the older ones that special time ( and its even harder when they seem to have constant attitudes). It is definately tough raising kids and its even tougher when you have to be the one to give all th dicipline while the other parent gets to be the fun one.
We are always here to cheer you up when you need it.
:hugs:
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Morning All. Sorry kittykat for the probs you are having right now. The best thing for your dd is to keep her with you. This is a tough few years and if you give up on her now she will remember it when she is older. However she will remember who was there for her when she is older as well. She will eventually understand that she has a loving mother and that nobody can ever replace her. You will be so glad that you did not give in to her, when you see that everything that you have been teaching her comes out thru her. When that day comes I will be so happy for you. It is so hard to raise teenagers and have a son still going thru it at almost 16yrs and another son 12 well on is way. If your ex is letting her get away with everything, you can be safe to say that that is why she wants to go be with him. Kids don't like rules and want to do whatever they want, but the only prob is someone has too be the responsible parent otherwise where could our kids end up.... Too scarey to comprehend. She will be so grateful that you took the time to protect and guide her thru the most diificult time of her development, and that you had rules in place for that reason. One thing tho that you cannot forget, and that is your dd really does love you and she really does know that you love her. They just like to make us feel bad at times, especially if we don't let them get away with everything.
Do not doubt that you are a great mother because you really are. You have got all your children with you and have given them a caring home with your dh.
Take care
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Hi there Girls - wow I havent' checked in for a while and ya all filled up 2 pages on me! Welcome to all the new mums. I gotts ask cos I am not too computer savvy how ya all get the cool pics on your pages all the time! I don't wanna be listing all my kids names each time I tune in. Just chucking a question out - does anyone of you ladies also homeschool your familes? Just to make you more insane? I have found homeschooling is popular in larger families?
Catchya later
Bree
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Hi Bree if you go to user profile then edit signature you can write your kids details in there and every time you post it will automatically attach to your post. You might also like to do a birthday ticker for your youngest, you just go to the ticker website make one up and copy the bbcode into your signature space and update.
No I don't homeschool and would never consider it, I'm busy enough with out playing school teacher as well for nothing, that what we pay taxes for, lol. I love my children going to school and interacting with other children and adults. We live in a good area and have no problems with any of the schools in the area. They are getting an excellent education.
Edit: Just wanted to add that if anyone does home school well more power to ya, I just personally would not consider it for us, which I spose can be seen as silly since I am studying to be a Teacher.
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:hello: Halltribe
if you want the stuff thats at the end of each persons message you just go into user profile and thengo into edit signature ( ithink thats what it says) and you can create your own signature ie: DD -13 and so on if you want a ticker just goole tickers and find ones that you like and tehn copy the bbtag and if you want the pretty avatars they ahve at the top of the page then i have no idea i want one of them but havent figured that part out yet!!
As for home schooling i don't do it but i do know some who do and reckon its heaps better but i think once they get to high school they need that extra help ( at least my eldest does he has a bit of trouble with understanding it all)
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Kat the avatar up the top is for paying members, you can join up at the moment actually. It was closed for a time there and has only recently reopened, don't know for how long though.
Ta
Dee :D
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My big thing with homeschooling is that I think it would add extra stress on our relationship. LOL, it's already hard enough getting them to do what I ask just for family life; I can't imagine adding schoolwork on top.
I've know several people who have done it, very successfully. They plan group times for the kids, usually with other homeschoolers, and often send them to school for high school, or year 10-11 on.
Also, LOL, while I love the kids dearly, I also love having that quiet time at home while they are away at school...!
I would do it if I had to, but I don't want to :)
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Thanks Dee ishall check it out tomorrow
about to head to bed now as bub is not well so i best sleep while i can.
Cheers
Kat
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Morning All, hope all is well.
Katstribe - Hope you little one is feeling better today.
