Qns - DSD wants to live with us.

[Mum0809]

Two weeks ago my Dh's ex-wife moved five hours away taking both DSD's with her. We talked to the oldest on the phone. She was very upset, she had to leave most her family behind, us, her baby brother, 2 sets of grandparents, uncle and her Aunty. She said when she comes back for a visit she is staying here, she isn't going back to her mothers, her mother can't make her, we can't make her and she want to live with us, please don't make her go back there. My dsd is 11 and I was wondering if anyone can tell me, if at this age can she choose where she wants to live? We don't have any court order for the girls, it is just a verbal agreement, which ex-wife doesn't keep when she is mad or it doesn't suit her. We didn't get to talk to DSD whose 4 so I don't know how she is going. I cry everytime I think of them being so far away and unhappy.

Could we just keep DSD 11 here if she chooses to live here or would we have to go though the courts?

Thanks for any replies.

[Footsteps]

hun,
im going by uk law but iam sure the age is 12 (my mum and step-dad fought for custody of my step sisters). im not sure but i think at her age they would more than likely listen to her shes unhappy with her mum and obviously happier with you and your husband.
i hope it turns out ok and i can tell you are a brilliant mum to her and your children.
i everything goes ok for you and your family.
take care
rach xxx

[Kitt3n]

We have a family member who doesnt want to live with her mum - but she is only 8, so there is not much anyone can do.

But her father is waiting out til she is 11 - apparently the kids have a say from then on.

Good luck, I hope it works out fr the best for the little one

[Mum0809]

Thanks rach and Kitt3n. I hope she gets a say now. She isn't 12 until mid next year. Thanks for the info.

[youngmumof3]

just wanted to say good luck and hope dsd can go where she's the happest

[Amity]

Send them (DH and XW) off to a Family Relationships Centre for mediation. If DSD is really being genuine, then perhaps suggest "child-inclusive counselling".

If your DH did not agree to them moving, he can issue proceedings to bring them back. He may or may not be successful depending on the circumstances.

All I can say is go and get some decent independent legal advice.

[thepixie]

Agree with Divvy. The other positive that may come out of it is you will very likely get some access to DSD 2. But definitely talk to a Family Relationship Centre/ Counsellor and/or get some legal advice. Good luck and I hope your little DSD's are OK.

[Mum0809]

Thanks youngmum, Divvy & Pixie. We get the girls on the 12th Sep. So Dh will sit them down and ask them what they want. If they want to live with their mother that's fine but if they wants to live with us we will get some legal advice and dh will try to get xw go to Family Relationship Centre for mediation Thanks all.