Hi Ree29,

I'm a step mum to a 4yo girl. She was 2 when her dad & I got together. When she first started to stay with us I used to feel that the attention was all on her but I soon realised that it wasn't - I just felt that way. When I got used to it I realised that he did pay me some attention and as time went on it balanced out quite well. We always make sure we have some "us time" whenever she is with us.

We have her on weekends fortnightly and one night during the opposite week and for a couple of full weeks during the year. We have her for one of those weeks now. I feel the same way that I imagine I would if I had my own daughter but I guess I won't know that unless we get lucky enough to have our own child together.

His ex is also a pain and has caused all sorts of trouble along the way, so I understand where you are coming from.

If you feel all the attention is being focussed on the child perhaps you could tell him you are feeling a little left out when he's with you. Are you involving yourself in the little boys life? By that I mean do you read him stories at bedtime or do other activities with him, just the two of you? If not I suggest you start doing it. That's how I started with my DstepD and things are great now. I even got a present and card from her for mothers day that she made at day care. She has a nick name for me that she always calls me by and things could not be better.

Please try to perservere with things, it does get easier when they get a little older.