Ettiquette regarding Donations

[Matryoshka]

I know this may be a sensitive subject but could someone guide me in the ettiquette of giving donations to the church/priest?

Our Baptismal form for our boys states that donations are welcomed, we were guessing say $50-$100 per boy, but my MIL said more like $5-$10!!! I have no idea??? Do you give based upon your means? or by how much something means to you? Or what you think the Priest's time would be?

Also today we attended a viewing of a dvd about Baptism at the Church, two people left before us at the end, then as we were leaving we saw the last couple give the Priest some money, this had never even occurred to us, and i felt like perhaps we should have.

Is there a way to know when its appropriate to give money? i would have actually worried about offending by giving money as i'm not accustomed to this. And how do you know how much to give at certain times. For instance I am having my Confirmation at the Easter Vigil, would this be another occasion to make a large donation?

Also when do you give the money directly to the Priest? and are there times you give it in a box or such? and what do you say when you give it to the Priest? "Thanks, here you go"? (which sounds patronising) or do you say nothing?

Thanks in advance, it's a bit embarrassing being so naive about this but i have not been a practicing Catholic since i was a child.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

Give what you can.
Most will give $50 - $100 per child as you said.
We only gave $20 because it's all we could afford.

As for the Easter Vigil - there are only two times a year when they collect for the priest, so yes, that is when i would donate largely. Easter and Christmas they do two collections, one if for the priest, generally.

Sorry can't really help with the rest.

[Muppity]

Often Churches have a list of things that they want - everything from a new roof to six replacement hymn books. Maybe you could ask the priest if he had anything that the church has on their wish list that way you would be able to think of your boys every time you saw the thing that you bought (or contributed to)

[~Flossie~]

I gave $150 for each of our childrens baptism. my husband gave it to the Priest with a card, after the service.
It is a "donation" so it is what you feel you can afford and how much you want to give.

For us we compared the cost to having your own private celebrant for the occasion.. I am not sure what a celebrant would charge for a naming ceremony but i think it would be around what we paid so this was our thoughts.

[mum3girls]

We donated $50 each for our daughters - all 3 were baptised at the same time. The church we go to has envelopes that you can put money into which you then place in the collection basket that is handed around during the mass. Or you can give the money directly to the priest or to the office - whatever you feel most comfortable with. When our older girls were confirmed, we had to pay a fee (can't remember what it was - I think it worked out to be $100-$120 for both girls to do reconcilliation, confirmation and first eucharist maybe less) which covered the cost of going to about 6 lessons as well. We also donated $20 each on the day.

Really though, it's up to you as to how much you can afford. That was stated in some of the paperwork we got when we were organising the baptism. If unsure, just ask someone in the church office what usually happens in your church community. You definitely wouldn't be the first person to ask.

[Bathsheba]

Great thread MummaB. It's such a tricky issue to raise. Even though I go to church regularly i still don't understand the system for donations... but I agree that asking a long serving member of the congregation is a great idea. Some little old lady will surely be able to gently guide you regarding the etiquette of it all. I also agree that donating a similar amount of money that it would cost to hire a private celebrant for the occasion... that makes total sense.

On a separate issue: the collection plate; does anyone just give what's in their purse on the day (usually the Sunday service) or do you budget for a set amount? I just basically tip all my money out up to about $20. A few times i have been "caught out" because I didn't go to an ATM before church started and I was embarrassed to only pop in a few silver coins I want to make up for those times... so it's interesting to know that some churches have a special donation time around Easter... I'll keep that in mind.