The funniest thing I ever saw was on old lady got on a bus, headed for the first seat she could find, and sat on the student's lap........... the student got out of there quick smart. Maybe you should try that. This was in Victoria where, if you're a school kid, it says on your ticket that you must stand up and offer your seat.

It was a bus full of school kids so she had plenty of laps to choose from.......