Since when did giving become about recognition

[BrightSparkles]

This stems from all the stories about kids donating their toys to natural disaster victims....

t's really sad the society that we live in. There are stories popping up everywhere of kids that want to donate their toys, especially whenever there is some kind of "disaster". Yet any other time of the year, they get turned away. DD wanted to give toys to "a little girl who doesn't have any" a while ago. I rang the womens refuge, the young mums refuge, local family centres and no one would allow her to give her toys. It really just highlights to me a few things A ) how much of a disposable society we live in and B ) that it takes a disaster of sorts for people to accept anything and C ) how hypocritical many organisations out there can be "don't give us anything during any other part of the year, but the minute there is a disaster and we can look good, donate everything you can to us". Not a charitable attitude I say.
I'll continue to nurture this giving side of DDs and continue to allow her to understand that there are others that don't have what they do. However, I can only hope that organisations, small and large, will remember what charity is all about....

I think its completely wrong that parents are highlighting these things in the media... giving isn't about recognition. What are you instilling in these kids? Oh, If i do this, I get lots of recognition.

Vent over...

[Doing my best]

I totally get what you are saying. We have so many perfectly good toys that our children have either outgrown, or hardly played with, or would just like to see someone else enjoy and none of the local charity stores will take them cause they are 2nd hand. I would never try to give a broken, extremely dirty used toy to another child, but the ones we have tried to donate are ones we would be appreciative to receive.

Even when there is a time to donate, I much prefer to do it anonymously.

[AnyDream]

I'm a little surprised at this. We have a number of op shops around the place here that continuously accept any clean, used items of clothing, household goods, toys, books, etc. I've never had any problems giving even large quantities of things away - they even sent a truck out one time (!) FWIW many local schools will gratefully receive items like this in the lead up to school fetes, so it's also a good idea to look out for when they happen in your area.

Perhaps the issue is that you contacted organisations that don't have a great need for what you were offering (ie toys). It costs them money to sort, store or dispose of excess items, which is why they are picky about what they accept. In a time of real crisis there is an immediate and much larger (but temporary) need.

And re the photos - not sure that's because of the parents. It's natural for the media to want to some "good news" "community rallying" stories whenever there is a disaster, so they are the ones who would be initiating the stories.

[nothing2lose]

I know some organisations prefer not to give second hand toys to children of clients because it can reinforce their self belief they are somehow second best. They see children all around them getting new toys. If all they get is second hand toys, it's just another thing that makes them different from their peers.

Similarly, second hand toys don't really sell at op shops like clothes do.

[wysiwyg]

Similarly, second hand toys don't really sell at op shops like clothes do.

I don't actually think this is true - in a lot of the op shops I go to the toy section is one of the most popular sections - I personally buy many toys from op-shops. My mum is a massive op-shop toy buyer, people buy a lot of toys at garage sales and kids/baby markets, and often toys sell out at stalls ahead of clothes.

BS - All the op-shops round here will take second hand toys - so it also seems odd to me that you were unable to donate toys. Some organisations only take specific things and if they are giving them out often they have to comply with different regulations to op-shops selling them (E.g St Kilda Mums is one where you can donate a cot for example but it has to meet a set of criteria, a cot that may not meet those criteria can still raise money for charity by going through an op-shop though - or say by selling it yourself and donating the money). But toys in op-shops do benefit those in need, either by them being bought specifically for those children, or by the money they raise for the organisation.

I see nothing wrong with people posting about their children wanting to donate, I don't believe most people do it for any sort of reward but because it promotes it, someone may see it and then do the same.

[Doing my best]

maybe you are right, trying to donate in the wrong places and the wrong items.

[JLeigh29]

Second hand anything is hard to give away in my experience.

When we moved interstate, we couldn't give away heaps of stuff - bookshelf in perfect condition, 4foot fish tank, large student desk etc. We called several charities (no thanks), asked everyone we knew, posted online and even put them out the front with giant signs saying 'FREE! Please take!' In the end we filled up half a skip.
My parents had a lounge suite and dining setting (perfect condition, they were just downsizing) and it took calls to three or four charities before anyone would accept it, and only on the condition they brought it in themselves. When they were thinking of getting a new washing machine, they'd seen an article from an animal charity about all their washing and wishing they had a washing machine on site....took five phone calls and more than a month before anyone picked it up.

I understand there can be a stigma attached to second hand stuff, so maybe it does take a desperate situation for someone to accept charity?

[wysiwyg]

Second hand anything is hard to give away in my experience.

When we moved interstate, we couldn't give away heaps of stuff - bookshelf in perfect condition, 4foot fish tank, large student desk etc. We called several charities (no thanks), asked everyone we knew, posted online and even put them out the front with giant signs saying 'FREE! Please take!' In the end we filled up half a skip.
My parents had a lounge suite and dining setting (perfect condition, they were just downsizing) and it took calls to three or four charities before anyone would accept it, and only on the condition they brought it in themselves. When they were thinking of getting a new washing machine, they'd seen an article from an animal charity about all their washing and wishing they had a washing machine on site....took five phone calls and more than a month before anyone picked it up.

I understand there can be a stigma attached to second hand stuff, so maybe it does take a desperate situation for someone to accept charity?

Large items can be tricky because you have to be a certain scale of organisation to be able to have the ability to do the pick up. I think several charities are getting better at this and it is quite a recent thing - but we were able to get Salvo's to come and collect various items and they then distribute to which ever store they deem best (so the pick up is run by the organisation not individual stores) - we had to be around on a certain day - due to their pick up run but we could manage that. We personally have no other method of getting them out of our garage. Some recycling centers (tips) have 'shops' as part of them - a community garden I go to bought lots of old iron bath tubs which are used as raised beds for growing vegetables (raised to table height for benefit of the elderly) - so I think things are moving in the right direction in some areas in terms of enabling reuse.

[wysiwyg]

I know some organisations prefer not to give second hand toys to children of clients because it can reinforce their self belief they are somehow second best. They see children all around them getting new toys. If all they get is second hand toys, it's just another thing that makes them different from their peers.

I can see this could be a factor. However I do think the idea that second hand means second best - is an adult concept that children learn from adults, so if all children from early enough get a mixture of new and second hand toys the new/old factor becomes irrelevant.

All children should go and buy some toys from op-shops - not only are they less expensive and good for the environment, but you are faced with an array of toys from across the years - not just presented with whatever the marketers deem are the 'current' toys you should be interested in. I think if children buy from op-shops when they are little and experience the joy of rummaging and finding all sorts of treasures they will grow up not equating 'new' with 'best'. There is also quite a large number of new items (particularly craft kits) available in op-shops - people get more gifts than they can use often.