Toilets!

[OceanPrincess]

So I'm curious about toilet usage!

Specifically disabled toilets and the ones in parent's rooms (with the little loo for your little one ).

At work, we have many loos. There'd be 12 I reckon, in each bathroom. There is one bathroom near each lift lobby and there are three lift banks on each floor. 9 floors in the building. So that's a lot of loos. There is one disabled toilet near each bathroom, outside the bathroom. So three per floor.

I just went to the bathroom and saw someone coming out of the disabled. Not a disabled person, as far as I could tell. Sometimes I see people coming out in their gym gear or with a bag like they've gotten changed, fine. I can see a need for a bit of space if you need to get changed. But this woman had none of that.

Do you think it is ok to use the disabled loo, if you are reasonably confident that a disabled person won't need it? Under what circumstances is it ok?

What about toilets in a parents' room?

My fave shopping centre made a very bad decision when planning their big upgrade: they put a disabled toilet and a parents' room together, but no general access bathroom. The nearest bathroom is a few hundred meters away. I often see people walk in to the parent's room looking for a toilet, they see the toilet that is meant for parents and kids and prams and they use it. I hate it.

My DD is not long out of nappies and if she says "Mummy I need to do wees" then we need to high tail it to the bathroom, pronto. I will generally always have DS with me and either a pram or a trolley. The normal bathroom is not ok. We need the parents' room or the disabled. And if someone is in there, we have an agonising wait with me saying "Not long bub, just hang on!" And oh boy, if the person coming out is encumbered by nothing more than shopping bags, they get a death stare from me and sometimes a snappy comment.

I have actually started telling people at this shopping centre where the toilet is. Am I overreacting???

[Miss.September]

Hmmmm, is the lady at work that used the disabled one claustrophobic? Could be a reason why. I had a friend at school who couldn't even use the shower at home as it had a curtain, not glass, so it freaked her out. She bathed every day. But other than being disabled, I can't see any other reason for using it.

The toilets in the parents room at shopping centres, I do use but only if DD is with me in a pram/trolley and I have nobody else to stay with her. Otherwise, I just use the normal toilets. Same goes if she's on foot. Into the normal toilet. But I'd be pretty snappy too if I saw someone coming out with no kids. What are they doing in the parents room anyway?

[UntoldAngel]

I was in the parents room yesterday feeding and changing DD, and two old ladies came in, one to use the toilet, the other to change her outfit... They both took about 10mins. The poor mother with two kids in tow who were busting for the toilet went out to the normal toilets

I've also seen teenage girls use the parents room to get dressed and do their makeup

[Mak]

My pet hate too - although I have used the disabled toilet when I have had 2 kids/pram and the parent's room toilet is occupied but I wouldn't use it just for myself. At a major shopping centre this am and saw people parking in disabled spot without sticker and parents with prams without any kids. Sadly I think it is a reflection on the impatience of people in general.

[Cranky Kitten]

That'd irk me too, probably not enough to make an issue of it though. Mind you, I'm also the sort that generally tries to avoid using disabled loos - I'll use the one in the parent's room but if that's occupied and I'm desperate I'll hightail it for the normal loos and just stick DS's pram half in/half out of the door in front of me (I do try to get a cubicle as far away from the main entrance as possible) while I do my business. Bit harder to do with any more than one kid in tow I'll admit.

I do think it's general impatience that leads to people indulging in quite selfish behaviour - I did have to chuckle at the look on a mother's face when I noticed her standing behind me in the queue for the loos with her little girl who was doing "the dance" and offered to let her go ahead of me despite my being very heavily pregnant. I think a stiff wind would've knocked her over she was so surprised

[misty]

My DH will take the kids into the disabled rather then the male toilets, because he says the mens are always filthy and he doesn't want the kids in there (even the boys). I tend to use the normal toilets more often then not, even with the pram - as I don't usually have to wait as long. I just par the pram (with kids) near the stall I'm in. The kids just keep the door open while I wait outside it.

[Calluna]

This is a pet peeve of mine.
last year, during the school holidays we actually complained towestfield centre management because high school students were using the parents rooms as a hang out and were being so noisy DS wouldn't feed to sleep.

After we complained we noticed the security staff often did inspections of the parents room and kicked any one out who wasn't supposed to be there.

as for other people using the disabled bathrooms and parents rooms, I think, unless they have a very good reason, it is extremely selfish and rude. They are there for a reason, not just in case you (they) can't be bothered waiting in a short line or walking the extra 3 metres!

[Maruschke]

What if they were so busting they were about to wet themselves? I've ducked into a disabled toilet when I didn't think I'd make it to the adults.

[meow]

I waited and waited for the baby change room/disabled toilet in a shopping centre once when my son really needed a nappy change. After quite some time a young couple walked out. After giving them daggers I went in and used the room with their sweaty body imprints on the floor. True story.

[LuluHB]

I've made the same snappy comments. I was waiting for the parents & kids toilet once when both my girls needed to go and there were three women in the queue in front of me, and their friend using the toilet. Not a child, trolley, pram, walking cane in sight. Poor DD2 was nearly turning purple with the effort of holding the wee in, and in the end I pushed the girls into the toilet in front of two of the women. They made a comment about how rude, and I made a very snarly comment about can't they read the toilet is for parents and kids, so they're the ones who are rude (after making comments to the girls while standing in the line). The worst part was that the general toilets were just next door.

I never have a pram these days and rarely a trolley when I'm shopping with the girls so we try and use the general toilets. If they're desperate then I will take them into either the disabled or parents' toilets if there is no queue. If DH is out with the girls by himself, then he uses either disabled or parents toilets.

[Phteven]

I let DS1 use the disabled loo if there are no parent's ones because he doesn't like using the women's and I get a big edgy about letting him use the men's on his own.

[Novella]

our local shopping centre has designed the 'parents' room really poorly a pram wont fit into the toilet and the disabled toilets oddr is heavy and awkward a lot of the older ladies with frames use the parent toilet as it is easier to access! I was peeved at first seeeing all these older people using the parents toilets but then tried to use the disabled toilet one day to fit the shopping trolley in and it was bloody heavy and awkward.

If its just the girls and I and no extras (trolley/pram) we use the regular toilets. I make DD2 come in the cubicle with me as I dont trust her not to get distracted and wander and I keep talking to dd1 so I know where she is

[Rowellen]

I don't think you're overreacting.

I think it's perfectly ok to use a disabled toilet if you have pram/trolley/kids. In fact, I can't recall ever seeing a disabled toilet in use by an actual disabled person. EVER!

Parent's rooms are for parents with kids. I will accept a disabled person using them. Anyone else can go to the normal toilets. A hundred meters is a long way when you have to go so I'm not surprised people are too lazy to go to the normal toilets.

My DH is a cleaner. He tells me the ladies is always more filthy then the men. It doesn't surprise me in the least from my experiences of female public toilets.

I was feeding DD in a parents room when two ladies came out of the toilet in there. Together. No idea what they were doing.

ETA Talking about poor planning - Where DH works, they have done renovations recently (as in within the last 12 months). They put the baby change in the female toilets. He was peeved because it basically means he can't change DD if he decided to take her there without me.

[Trillian]

I use the disabled toilets when I have the kids with me. I feel it is safer to do it like that but now the kids are older I let them go to the normal toilets, except for DS2 who stays with me. We often use the parents room toilets too. I don't use disabled toilets when I'm on my own though and I can understand why some people would use them. Going to the toilet with 5 other people can be a little disconcerting at times and I imagine that it would make some people feel vunerable to do that.

[OceanPrincess]

That really is bad planning, having the baby change inside a female toilet! And basically its gender stereotyping, discriminatory, all sorts of good things. He should complain!

When we were in these same baby change facilities one day, my sister saw three high-school kids come out of one of the curtained-off feeding cubicles - two girls and a boy. No kidding, they were all mussed up, straightening up their clothes, doing up buttons, laughing and looking very pleased with themselves. My sister went an reported it to security.

A little off topic but I was changing a massive poosplosion that DS had at Brisbane airport a while back and some dude came in wearing tradie gear and a high-viz vest with his lunch, looking to microwave it. Guess where the micro was? Right under where I was changing said poosplosion. I said to him "Well you're just going to have to wait til I'm done, sorry, its going to be a while, this is a real mess." He said he didn't mind and then I said "Don't they give you a lunch room?" and he said there was one but it was way over the other side of the facility.

So he'd rather microwave his food in an area recently used to clean up poo

I'm not so fussed about the disabled toilet being used at this shopping centre, as people point out, if they are busting, fine, it is a bit of a walk to the other one. But using the one in the parents' room irks me.

[Rowellen]

That really is bad planning, having the baby change inside a female toilet! And basically its gender stereotyping, discriminatory, all sorts of good things. He should complain!

He did mention it to the manager but by then it was already done & couldn't be changed. It's not the first time DH has mentioned some of the moronic things they do lol! That manager is no longer there strangely enough

[Maruschke]

OK Nae I get that... I just think we all have different rules about when we can make exceptions for disabled / parent toilets . What flies for you might not fly for others and vice versa. I personally think this is a relatively minor issue and wouldn't let it cloud my day.

(In general, not directed at anyone)
I also think we should be very careful before yelling / making a scene / throwing daggers at someone for using a disabled / parent toilet until you really really are sure there are no extenuating circumstances... and people aren't always open about these circumstances (injury, etc).

[LuluHB]

(In general, not directed at anyone)
I also think we should be very careful before yelling / making a scene / throwing daggers at someone for using a disabled / parent toilet until you really really are sure there are no extenuating circumstances... and people aren't always open about these circumstances (injury, etc).

This is so true. A friend of mine has MS. On a really good day, she looks like a beautiful, vibrant 40 something woman. On a bad day she can't get out of bed. Those days in between can be really hard for her when she's out - walking an extra 10 metres can send her physically over the edge and result in her being bedridden for days. She has been abused many times for parking in a disabled bay (which she is entitled to) just because she can look healthy externally