****this is about an IVF journey ending without a baby****
I just read about this book - Silent Sorority - here's the "book jacket" description:
About the Book
What happens when a couple can't conceive after years of trying? What awaits two people who want to be parents, as they move away from the fertility treatment/adoption/mommy-and-daddy track? With humor, poignancy, and grace, Silent Sorority sheds light on the lasting impact infertility has on relationships, identity, and planning for the future. Pamela reveals what it's like to be a ?non-mom? in an era dominated by Mom's Clubs and helicopter parents. Along the way, she discovers a welcoming sisterhood whose nurturing fellowship provide the foundation for a rebirth. This is the story of how a (barren) woman gets busy, angry, lost and found.
If you google it you will find the website for the book as well as it's listing on Amazon - the Amazon reader reviews are amazing...and make it very clear that this is a good book to give to people who are close to you as it helps them understand.
I think it was just published this year, and I suspect it may only be available in the US. I'm going to work my US connections to try to get a copy sooner rather than later...but if I don't get my hands on a copy before Dec, I'll have my Mom bring one to me when she visits at the end of the year.
Just wanted to let you know this book is out there - I'm sure it will peak the interest of others as much as it does mine....even though I wish it didn't....
The author has a blog that is no longer active but that she has left up on the web for others (she discusses this on the website for the book). Being in the middle of the journey with a suspicion that I may end up without a baby, I have started to read it - I have to say - it's pretty hard to read - very painful but at the same time, nice to see others share the same feelings. it is at: www dot coming2terms dot com. I think that others who have finished their ivf journey without a baby or those who are trying to think through what if that happens will ultimately find it helpful.
Thanks Buliej for the info. I haven't read this one, but I read a similar Australian one a couple of years ago and it spoke very strongly to me.
It is hard to read these books but in doing so I can recognise so many of the same thoughts and journey that others go through that is seems to validate my experiences rather that block them out or hide them from those around me. It also helps me prepare a bit more for a possible future.
What amazes me is if I can convince family and friends to read these books they are so moved and affected by them (if they can finish them) and they can't believe what the writer went through. But at the same time I am going through exactly the same journey but it is more real for my family by reading about someone else than listening or hearing my stories. Ironic.
I think I'm going to ask some friends/family members to read after I do - once I get my hands on it. People who I know care very much have said some things which have been insensitive and I held my tongue because they are very dear friends (and I believe they just have no clue). Even my sister, 2 weeks after my first m/c which was the most devastating of the 3, said "so, have you started to try again - don't worry, it will happen"...umm, you can't really start 2 weeks after a D&C at 8 weeks and no, you don't know it will happen...
Dusty - do you talk much about what you are going through with IRL people? I don't - I only mention things very casually and not very often - so maybe this is why they don't understand, because I haven't shared...although when I do, I also sometimes get responses and think WTF - you have no idea.
I think it is good to be able to provide people with information to digest in their own time and way so these books are gold IMO. I have often wondered whether people after reading them would then ask me more questions about my journey based on what they learn and hear in these books, but no, it doesn't really happen. Once Em become my ED she was more engaged but even then there is a distance. I think there has to be so she doesn't become swamped by my issues. Yeah I talk about it but now only with a few people as after 5 years it really becomes tiring for me and others to have to listen to the same old. IME, people, even those who have experienced some LT issues themselves, just don't want to go there and sometimes say the same quips as your sister. But sadly lately I have begun to realise that it just sometimes doesn't happen for some people. Noone can guarantee the outcome as much as they would like it to be so.
Anyway I am going way OT on your thread, but I do try to keep it in conversation as it is real and happening to me, so why should it be ignored just because it isn't light conversation.
A Book...
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