Donor Conception General Chatter #1

I hear ya Anney...
I guess I have to be even more protective of myself then some others as I am doing it alone..
I guess we'll just wait and see..
I know I shouldnt - but what day do you ladies usually start testing??

Lulu

Hi Lulu
Doing this alone does add another level to things. But, we're all here to support each other.
:angry: Pee Sticks Are Evil....step away from the pee stick and nobody will get hurt:lol:
Seriously, it depends on what kind of post transfer support you're on. If you're shooting up Pregnyl - don't bother with a HPT!
If you're on crinone/pessaries, I know some ladies have tested as early as 10DPO and had a +ve while for others, doing a HPT on or even after the day of beta has shown a -ve....even when their beta was +ve.
See, pee sticks..... = evil

you are too funny SuzyQ....
come on - didnt you try??? hmmm??? how does one not??

Lulu

Hi everyone,

I feel so happy that one of my new year wishes came true!! I've been looking to find a forum for those concerned with donor conception.

Very quickly - my DH is azoospermic - found this out in 2000. We went with IUI with an unknown donor at the beginning of 2005, and again in June, with no pregnancy. We were just about to start again after I had my gallbladder removed. Two big things happened within a day: a good friend offered to donate, then when we went to check our options, our clinic informed us that they had ran out of donors. So now we're in a waiting game while our friend goes through the process.

Good luck to everyone - hope to hear from you soon!

What a great thread, just came across it accidently and am glad that BellyBelly are responding to this largely unknown and but surprisingly well used form of conception.

My story

Hi my name is Ursula and 7.5 years ago gave birth to my son. My son was conceived using known donor sperm and have currently been TTCing for a couple of years using the same known donor. I am in a same-sex relationship and were fortunate to have a close friend offer his sperm and within 4 months of at-home inseminations were able to conceive our DS. Had a difficult pregnancy developed pre-eclampsia and since have suffered from high blood pressure and weight gain. Since diagnosed with PCOS am seeing a gynie/ob for hormonal management but still doing at-home inseminations with no luck at present.

I would just like to wish everyone the best of luck - you go Lulu girl in your TWW, hope you travel with little stress and a BFP result at the end. Gargy best of luck with you and DH for when the wait is over.

Hi Ursula,

Thanks for your good wishes...and right back at you.
I also did 2mths of known donor self insemination. We were so keen - he came running to my place or I went running to his for 7days over ovulating period. Sadly it didnt work and am sure it was due to my age (41). Anyway, he is now in the deep freeze at the IVF clinic and is only ready to go in April. He took so long to decide if he wanted to do this and also had to come of some prescribed drugs. Any donor sperm (known or otherwise) has to be frozen and re-tested after 6mths.
I am currently using unknown sperm (not my first choice) was waitlisted for sometime and cant afford to keep waiting as every month that passes now is crucial.
So good luck to you...hope it works.
Me, I'm sweating it out at 7more days to wait..

best..Lulu

Good luck Lulu - have my fingers crossed for you. I could never resist the call of the HPT! Even with the IVF drugs etc, I never got that extra line unfortunately.

Also sending lots of positive vibes your way Ursula.

Gargy - hope things work out for you and DH.

Suzi - pee sticks! LOL!!!

Hi Anney - the way I'm going at the moment it will probably be another 12 months before I get rid of this last 10kg! I've lost the 3kg I put on after my last IVF attempt in July06 (when I should have been losing!) but can't budge past that now - so still have 10kg to lose. The frustrating thing is that I have actually gone down a dress size over the last couple of months but the scales are hardly budging. AAARRRGGHHH!!!

I don't really know the exact details around the donor embryos but the clinic seemed to think they might have some available this year and that I could go on their waiting list. There is still a lot of paperwork, appointments etc to go through but it sounded like I wouldn't have to go looking for a donor myself (only if they had some available). I'm going to check it out further in the next couple of months.

Marg

Hi Ursula and Gargy :hello:
Hang in there Lulu - you're on the downhill run now.
Marg - start that ball rolling!!!

Hi

We found out last year that my Husband has no sperm. We were told that we had to find a known sperm donor to be able to have a child, this isn't an option for us. We would like to use an anonymous donor and have found a sperm bank in the USA and have found out how to get it to Australia.

We are at a point where we are trying to find a FS who will use the anonymous donor in Sydney.

Can anyone help us, or know of any other way we will be able to fulfill our dream of having children while we are still young.

Thank you :D

Hi Bec
You may find something if you google something like Fertility First or Ann/e Clark/e. Try Hurstville.

Thanks SuziQ

I have e-mailed them and am waiting for a reply to see if they can help us.

Will keep you posted.

Bec :)

Hi Bec,

I also went down this road when I started.
Here's the thing...the law in NSW states that any donor must be willing to have their identity revealed when the child turns 18. SuzyQ was right, contact Fertility First. This is one of the very few clinics in NSW that imports sperm from the States. IVF Aust does not. But..the sperm donor still has to be 'known'. There are many sperm banks in the States. Several of them carry both known and unknown donors. Anne usually as some one reserve..but should you choose to pick your own and bring it in, she will use this as long as it is known.
If you are willing to go on a waitlist, IVF Australia does keep one, and it takes areound 6mths to a year to get to the top.
I know it's so frustrating to go thru..so best of luck..Lulu

Hi girls,
thought I would just come in here and post to see if I can clear my head at all. Most days I can forget about the TTC thing and just think what will happen, will happen. We are advertising for a donor and still trying ourselves but there is absolutely nothing I can do at my age to help anything along. Most days that is fine. But some days I am just so obsessed with not being able to give up and wanting another child that I cannot think about or do anything else. today is one of those days. so far I have been on the internet on BB and AED just looking at what is going on and eating! I cannot seem to get motivated to do anything else. anyone else have those days?

:

---

I cannot seem to get motivated to do anything else. anyone else have those days?

---

Yep!!!! I'm with you on that one Anney. I'm having a week like that.
Trying really hard to stay away from the puter but it's not working very well. As for the eating - I ate half a chocolate bavarian dessert in one sitting last night :rolleyes:
It's hard when you have your ad sitting there...waiting.... Intellectually, I know it can take many months to find that special person. Emotionally though, I can't help feeling like a reject!
Chin up - things will get better.

thanks suzi - everything you said was spot on with how I am feeling, you really made me laugh with this -

:

---

It's hard when you have your ad sitting there...waiting.... Intellectually, I know it can take many months to find that special person. Emotionally though, I can't help feeling like a reject!

---

Well, not the whole thing, the use of the word REJECT - it is such a great word and describes exactly how I feel! Just that laugh you gave me has felt much better so I may actually be able to move away from the computer for more than 10 minutes. I really wish you were close by so we could go out for lunch and a chat. hope you are feeling back to your old self soon.

Hi Anney

:

---

I really wish you were close by so we could go out for lunch and a chat.

---

I was actually hoping to do a surprise turn up at the meet down there in a couple of weeks. But, dumb old bills keep appearing and the bank balance just isn't co-operating. I haven't given up hope though!

that would be great if you could come. am thinking I might have to change the date as I might now be going away that weekend - would it help you if I put it back a few weeks?
wish I could offer a bed but we don't have much space and DH is a bit funny with people he doesn't know staying.

Well, if you were going to change the date anyway, it may make it closer to being possible for me. But, don't change it on my account - it will still depend on the wallet.
LOL - my XDH was exactly the same!!

Hi All,

Well sadly, my 2ww is all but over. AF due 30 Jan but sadly coming early..

I know i have to have a months break which is a bummer so I guess that means nothing for me till March. Anyway seeing FS Friday.

Lulu

Oh No Lulu
Has AF actually arrived?

Oh Lulu, I'm so sorry to hear AF is on its way. As Suzi said, has it actually arrived yet or is there still a little window of hope??? Thinking of you. xo

Anney & Suzi - are you talking about the meet in Melboure on 18th Feb? I was hoping to get there but have something else on unfortunately. Can I just ask, it sounds like that is going to be a get-together mainly for women who have children - has a get-together ever been organised with the LTTC women who don't have kids yet? I just wondered if there would be enough of us interested and located close enough together for it to happen? Just an idea. :D

Marg

Oh Lulu, I am really sorry AF is arriving.(but maybe, as suzi and marg says, there may be some hope).
Marg, the get-together is feb 10 at the moment (but a little subject to change as I may have double booked. I should know early next week. the first one of these get togethers I went to there were 7 of us, 6 were IPs (2 of us have one child) and one aready had a child from a donor. 3 of those 6 now have babies so it is to catch up and meet the latest baby. So, yes most of the people going do have children, but it didn't start out that way. Haven't heard of anyone organising a get together for people without children but of course it could happen. Would love to see you there.

Hi Marg
I've been to two meets now - both in QLD when I was up there for my last cycle.
The first there were kids and partners (obviously I had neither!). But it was fine. We met at the playground area at Roma St Parklands, the dads spent most of the time playing on the swings etc with the kids.
The second was a lunch for the gals only in a restaurant in Mooloolaba.
Both were good.

Hi Suzy Q, Ursula, Lulu, Anney, Jo, Cindy, Marg, Puddles, Bec and everyone else!

Lulu - I'm so sorry things didn't happen this time round - fingers crossed for next time...

Anney - re, demotivation, I've actually been the opposite - I've been going into a cleaning frenzy. In the last week of my holidays have defrosted my freezer, organised my linen cupboard and display cabinet, cleaned the oven and helped DH in the garden. When I get like this I know I'm stressing about something - in this case, going back to work and getting focussed on TTC again. However, a certain brand of Rocky Road have been taking a firm beating, so I'm with you there!!

re, gatherings - are these organised through BB? If so, is there one in Sydney soon?

Hi Garg
There is a thread in here where meets are organised
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...splay.php?f=74
Anney, Marg and I also belong to another board and were chatting generally about a meet coming up in Melbourne for ED ladies.

Here in Perth we once organised a meet just for the LTers. Magic, Tam and I met at a cafe almost two years ago and are still friends IRL today. I think it's reasonable to want to meet those in the same situation, rather than a general meet.

Unfortunately there is no window of hope this time round. AF well and truly here.
I know i have to wait a month till I do anything else. Seeing FS later this week so I guess I'll get the details for FET.
Thanks for the support ladies - muchly appreciated...Lulu

Sorry about the definite AF Lulu.
But, glad you can get in to see your FS so soon to discuss options.
Good luck and take care of your heart.

Huge hugs Lulu abt AF, hope the FS can give you some positive options

Lulu,

I'm so sorry that the stupid witch has arrived. :hug:

Lulu, bugger on AF coming, hope the month off goes quick for you

Hi everyone,

Got a bit of a question...

I was replying to David's post on what makes me nuts about TTC. When I thought about it I thought it was more appropriate to voice my concerns here...

My DH is happy for me to talk online about our issues. We have told our families and some friends about DI. However he is very reluctant to talk about it with people face to face.

Our clinic set up a meeting with all the IVF couples just before Christmas. It went reasonably ok except that DH would not talk in front of other men about DI. This made it very difficult for me to talk, and I got some very quizzical looks about why we were hanging around and waiting while everyone else was going forward. And I understood why, as there was no context.

We have another meeting in two weekends time. I am reluctant to put ourselves through this again, but I am also reluctant to get the IVF counsellor offside by not going, particularly as we have to talk with her about going through with a known donor (BTW, will she have the power to judge whether we are an appropriate couple to go through with this? - this has been worrying me no end).

Anyway, any advice appreciated...

Hi Gargy
I can understand the way your DH feels I suppose, most men really aren't into talking about infertility. Especially if it's to do with the 'boy part' IYKWIM.
I really don't see that the counsellor would hold that against you when you go for your counselling regarding known SD. I have a known SD (I have no DH though). I went to joint counselling with my SD and his wife and it was really more an information giving session and to ensure you're up to speed with legal implications etc. She also raised one or two things that were interesting, eg. what age to tell the child, what would happen if the SD and I had a falling out etc. At no point in the session did it appear she was judging my suitability as a recipient at all. So, don't worry about that. He provided his sample on that day and it was frozen. I had no feedback whatsoever about the counselling. So, don't think of it as a 'pass the test' thing.
I think IVF counsellors are very used to the male uneasiness. My XDH was horrible at our first counselling session in 1995 - back then you had to go to counselling for any kind of IVF cycle - non donor and all. Just kept saying it was a waste of time and didn't know why we had to be there. He had a point but....
To be honest, I'd avoid the joint get-togethers if it makes DH uneasy - this road is hard enough and can place enough strain on relationships without adding to it. You can easily arrange your own meet-ups with people you meet on line if you want.
Good luck!

SuziQ - your advice has given me the freedom to look at this in a different way. You're right - when we went through this before the counsellor simply advised, and didn't juge. I don't know why I got fixated on that idea.

And I will tell her thanks but no thanks re the gathering..

Thanks so much - you have really put me at ease...

Hi,

Everyone must be extremely busy!! Just letting you know, I'm seeing the counsellor tomorrow to go through the next hurdle. Feeling more calm thanks to SuziQ! I'll let you know how things progress...

Gargy

Still here Gargy but yes busy! I am glad SuziQ could help you out and i hope the counselling goes well tomorrow. I know that my DH would be exactly like yours if we were in your position. I am happy that it is donor eggs that we need and not donor sperm as I don't think DH would cope with that at all.
I must apologise too, the get together I was talking about was from an egg donor site some of us belong too. It was probably a bit rude to talk about it on here. I have been to a few BB meets in Melbourne so hopefully you will get to go to one soon in sydney.
Lulu, hope you are feeling OK - any details on your FET?

Hi
Yep, I've been chasin' me tail a bit lately.
Am sure all will go well with your counselling Gargy, glad I could ease your mind a little.
Hi to everyone!

Hi SuziQ! I found out that the counsellor does have to sign forms, but this is simply after all of us have been counselled to make sure we understand the ramifications of going down this path. So it's more of a signoff than a judgement - I obviously got the wrong end of the stick.

No worries Anney, I'm just a stickybeak!!;)

I'll be going to a DCSG picnic in a couple of weekend's time so hopefully this will be good. I've said to the counsellor that the IVF one was not really for us as we're not in cycle at the moment.

I've also thought whether I would cope if we also needed eggs - not sure how I would react - I suppose I cross that bridge when and if we get to it.

Lulu I also hope you are ok.

Well, I've taken a step back onto the fertility rollercoaster, even if it is only a big-toe at the moment! LOL! I sent a letter to the Clinic Coordinator just updating my situation - ie. the FS wanted me to lose 10kg before coming back. I have gone down a dress size BUT the scales have hardly budged! AARRGGHH!

So although I've lost cm's I haven't gotten down to the weight the FS wanted. I'm happy to keep working on it BUT I'm conscious that I'm turning 39 in May and I don't have 12 months to waste on trying to lose a few more kilos coz it's going to slow! (I am a size 14 now which is the smallest I've been in a long time!).

They rang yesterday and said the FS would like to see me for an appointment and a chat about things. Of course I'm hoping it's not a 'sorry but there's nothing more we can do' chat! Surely he could have told me that over the phone rather than make me drive 1 1/2 hours to see him! SO. My appointment is on 22nd Feb. Fingers crossed they are happy to continue treating me. :crossfingers: Otherwise I guess I'll be looking for a new Clinic!

Oh, and you girls are the only ones that know! I've decided not to say anything to family and friends at this stage about giving things another go. I need to see what the FS has to say as there may not be much to tell them anyway!!! So thanks for listening!

Marg

Hey Marg
I doubt that he'll refuse to treat you. Size 14 isn't big!!!! Blimey.
Good luck on the 22nd, that's not too far off :D