IVF with PGD # 10

Don't despair Alison...this last cycle I got 9 but only 7 were mature enough for ICSI of which only 5 fertilised (seeing a pattern yet?!) & only 4 were good enough for testing. We only got 2 normal but only 1 made it to a blast. My previous cycle I got 9 with 8 mature for ICSI of which only 6 made it to testing. We still only got 2 normal with 1 resulting in our DD5 & the other was never to be, forever an angel. The numbers game sucks poo! It only takes one & I am holding onto that hope like nothing else.

In regards to the Crinone, the only side effect that I have really had is discharge but nowhere near as much as with the progesterone pessaries. Haven't felt normal since starting this cycle. Feeling really full in the belly & extremely thirsty.

Best of luck with whichever way you go xxx

Double post sorry!

Hi girls

This is a super quick one because I have to run (don't even really have time to write this but oh well, haha...) -

Alison - So sorry about your tumultuous couple of days. I swear, you couldn't even make that stuff up... Crazy! I just wanted to let you know that I didn't have the best numbers and the numbers themselves don't necessarily mean it's all over, or it's not going to happen, it can't happen etc. Long story short, I had 4 embryos make it post-biopsy (after 2 cycles, at 30 years old, just very poor response to meds - my body does not seem to like the intervention). It was our only shot and we went for it and hoped and prayed for the best - we had 6 little embryos, we knew from biopsy that 2 weren't looking the best and 4 seemed ok - so basically 4 embryos. The testing we had done was for a known genetic disease (that DD has), 25% chance of being affected, 50% chance of being a carrier. We had **3** come back completely unaffected. I am pregnant now with one of those little ones. The numbers just don't mean everything. I know we were incredibly lucky, and I know we are in different situations, but my point is, who is to say you won't get lucky...!? Do you know what I mean? Obviously, there are difficult decisions to make for you, and I know the waiting is beyond awful - I was a wreck, especially the morning of a potential transfer not knowing if there was even going to be a transfer (results came through that morning). I cried so hard on the phone to the embryologist I swear she probably had no idea what was going on with me. It is just a very difficult time all around, no denying it - but all hope is not lost, it really isn't. I don't know if any of that helps or not, but wanted to try... I'm sending you big hugs!

As for the Crinone, I did not know what symptoms I was getting from what - I felt very achy and extremely bloated post-EPU and started Crinone that night, so not sure how much to attribute to the EPU. So for me, basically for at least 5-6 days post-EPU I was feeling pretty awful (to the point where I worried something was going wrong and transfer would be cancelled). Laying down with heat packs was what helped me the most. Also drinking lots of water (helps with fluid retention in abdominal area). I was so bummed when the nurse told me no heat packs after transfer, I wondered how I was going to get through without them. I had probably about 2-3 days of feeling ok post-transfer (still on Crinone) and then started getting very achy/crampy again but with extra pain in my lower back/tailbone area. In retrospect, that would have been right around implantation. I think it's just a time where you will, unfortunately, be feeling very emotional and uncomfortable... but it will pass. I didn't find the Crinone a worry personally, I just found the whole process very draining. Be kind to yourself.

JoeSpratt - Wishing you a happy and peaceful few days and wonderful results on Tuesday!

Yep, now I'm late, haha..... :)

Oh Girls thank you so much for putting my mind at ease, I'm so grateful I have you all to lean on with your own experiences and all. Thanks for giving me hope!!!

Well the clinic rang this morning, my 2 from yesterday have made it to today, one is at 3 and one is at 4 cell so they are very happy with that. My first 3 frozen embies are being thawed today in preparation to be sent off for testing tomorrow, I'm so nervous about losing those ones in the process. She said you can lose up to 30% in the thaw so I am crossing everything that they all survive and all continue to divide. She was happy with having 5 to send to testing, I am quite amazed at the difference between speaking with the embryologist as opposed to the nurses/specialists etc as they've always said 6 - but she said 5 is good, even 4 is ok so I'm feeling a bit more optimistic. Look at the end of the day, like I said to her, we could wait another 2/3 months, spend another $10,000 on another cycle, get 0 or 10 eggs and none be ok still so we have decided to just go with the gamble and hope for the best. This is going to be a nervous wait, gah........obviously the more the merrier but my ultimate would be to end up with 2 good embryos by next Tuesday so I can freeze one for backup - but I won't count my chickens before they've hatched. I'm going to be devo if they all peter out.

Oh Girls thank you so much for putting my mind at ease, I'm so grateful I have you all to lean on with your own experiences and all. Thanks for giving me hope!!!

Well the clinic rang this morning, my 2 from yesterday have made it to today, one is at 3 and one is at 4 cell so they are very happy with that. My first 3 frozen embies are being thawed today in preparation to be sent off for testing tomorrow, I'm so nervous about losing those ones in the process. She said you can lose up to 30% in the thaw so I am crossing everything that they all survive and all continue to divide. She was happy with having 5 to send to testing, I am quite amazed at the difference between speaking with the embryologist as opposed to the nurses/specialists etc as they've always said 6 - but she said 5 is good, even 4 is ok so I'm feeling a bit more optimistic. Look at the end of the day, like I said to her, we could wait another 2/3 months, spend another $10,000 on another cycle, get 0 or 10 eggs and none be ok still so we have decided to just go with the gamble and hope for the best. This is going to be a nervous wait, gah........obviously the more the merrier but my ultimate would be to end up with 2 good embryos by next Tuesday so I can freeze one for backup - but I won't count my chickens before they've hatched. I'm going to be devo if they all peter out.

You will never know if you don't give it a try! Strange how you get such Different perspective by talking to different people at the clinic. At least you now seem more at ease with your decision. Best of luck with the thaw & testing xxx

If it's one thing I have learnt JoeSpratt it's that you just can't believe/listen to every single thing they say because they all tell you different things, make you feel different ways, it just depends who you speak to I guess. I think it's what makes the whole IVF process so bloomin stressful!!!!!! Us girls deserve a medal, how anyone gets pregnant naturally is beyond me, I am convinced my daughter was pot luck! xx

Alison: gosh what a rough time you are having ! Fingers crossed that your two little ones are doing well tomorrow and your frosties thaw ok, I was told you lose 25% in the thaw, I had 11 thawed and 9 survived.

Also I had 10 tested and only had one good one and it is going well but they told me those were bad results so I hope you do a lot better :)

Joe: will you poas early ? Good luck to you :hug:

Elle: good to see you popping in, good to hear all is going well :)

Afm: I have my big scan on Wednesday, still unsure if we are going to find out the sex, part of me wants the surprise, part of me wants to know.
Unfortunately I have already developed gestational diabetes so I'm on insulin, after everything we have been through I could have done without that complication but as long as we are both well I'll cope !

Minnie life certainly isn't easy for some of us. Good luck for your scan next Wed. At least GD is so manageable these days. Interesting they put you straight on insulin though. Have you had GD before?

No poas for me. Only had my last HCG shot on Wed so that will probably only have cleared by Tues in time for my bt. Question for anyone though...if the embie has failed to implant, is the amount of Crinone you take daily enough to keep AF at bay until you stop. The packaging says 90mg per shot & taking morning/night.

Joe: yes I had gestational diabetes last time and was on insulin at 26 weeks so the endo has been watching me like a hawk and as soon as my blood sugars started creeping up he put me straight on insulin. I have a complicated endocrine history including pcos, insulin resistance, thyroid problems, high prolactin levels etc I knew I was at high risk to get it again and I proved them right !

As far as crinone, I have never gotten af before the blood test but my levels seem to go quite high and it takes a while to wean off the crinone but I do know some people do get af before its due, I guess it depends on your body which probably doesn't help you !

alison - :hug: even by ivf/ttc standards, you have had it quite rough this cycle. i am going to hope for at least one little embryo for you (2 would be a bonus of course...), but even just one would be great. i think ive mentioned it already, but i got 7 to biopsy & 2 tested normal. i remember being so relieved that i even got one, its such a stressful process. xx

joe - how frustrating you cant poas... torture! i replied to your question in the other tread, but crinone didnt stop af for me. usually af arrived 1-2 days before BT, regardless of the dose i was on. how are you feeling?

hi elle & minnie - nice to hear that things are going well for you both. look forward to hearing about your upcoming scans in the next week or two. :)

Hi Girls!

JoeSpratt - interesting question re the Crinone I was wondering the same myself? I am nervous as I have low progesterone also so hoping this is enough - what's the difference between the Crinone and the other progesterone pessaries they usually put you on for luteal support?

Minnie - wow scan time already that is SO exciting - I wouldn't know what to do either, I have told myself that if I manage to get pregnant I think I will find out, I've had enough surprises but then again I will probably change my mind. I had a surprise with my daughter and I loved it. Good luck, can't wait to hear all about it.

Andie - goodness me are you 30 weeks already? Where did that time go!!!!!!

AFM - well, sombre mood here today, embryologist phoned and we lost one of the 3 in the thaw yesterday which is so disappointing so now we only have 4 to send for testing, really not ideal but we decided to chance it and go ahead. To say I'm feeling nervous is an understatement, I know my chances are not great now but I decided enoughs enough and it's time to move on with life regardless. Of the 4 that remain 3 are at 7 cell and one at 5 cell today and 3 are graded at 2's which she said is the best you can get on day 3 so feeling happy about that so far at least. The other she said is in between dividing so while it was a little behind it was too early to put it down to anything bad, that one was graded at a 3. So girls, because it's Saturday and I'm in Perth I won't get the results back until Tuesday morning which is the day of transfer, how the hell am I going to stay relaxed between now and then! I really really wanted 2 good embryos so I had one as a backup but I'm thinking I'm going to be bloomin lucky if I get one now. I don't know how to feel, confused, sad, excited, apprehensive, angry at my eggs - gah so many emotions.

Know how you feel Alison! Didn't get the results of my testing until day of transfer either. Worse still, as the surgery was a 3 hour drive away, I got the call while driving down the freeway. They figured they could at least save me a trip if it all went pear shaped. Just tried my best to keep calm & keep the anxiety levels to a minimum. Easier said than done I know & I won't lie, there were quite a few tears shed on that drive.hoping you get a great outcome though. Looks like Tues will be a big day for both of us! Would have been the due date of my angel from my last transfer last year so hoping that that is more than a coincidence & that we both get some fantastic news xxx & hugs

argh JoeSpratt how awful is this wait! I just can't relax I feel doom and gloom and nothing else. How are you supposed to feel positive in this situation. I wish I hadn't googled so much my odds going off stats aren't looking great. Ironically like yourself on Thursday it will be 12 months since my last miscarriage due to a blood clot (normal chromosomes) so I'm a bit on edge atm. Fingers crossed we both get the results we are hoping for tomorrow xxx

argh JoeSpratt how awful is this wait! I just can't relax I feel doom and gloom and nothing else. How are you supposed to feel positive in this situation. I wish I hadn't googled so much my odds going off stats aren't looking great. Ironically like yourself on Thursday it will be 12 months since my last miscarriage due to a blood clot (normal chromosomes) so I'm a bit on edge atm. Fingers crossed we both get the results we are hoping for tomorrow xxx

Joe & Alison I'm stalking you both & hoping there is good news for you both tomorrow.

The waiting to find out if you have anything to transfer is the most stressful thing !

Good luck today Alison! I am one emotional wreck already today & it's not even 6am! My emotional reserves are going to be well & truly drained by the end of today. Won't be on until tonight to update

Fingers crossed Joe, did you manage to resist poas ? Be sure to update when you can, I'll be looking for your update :hug:

Alison: I hope you get a transfer today, fingers crossed for you too :hug:

Hi JoeSpratt argh we should've camped out together last night I got no sleep either, I have never been more nervous in my life, I feel like it's doomsday but I hope it's the beginning of good things for both of us. FX for us both xxxx

Hi Minnie - thanks so much, this is the end of the road for me if no luck today boo hoo

Good luck Alison, fingers crossed for a great outcome today, sending you lots of hugs xoxoxo

thinking of you today, alison & joe. xx

No more babies for me, 3 made it to blast, all 3 showing complex chromosomal abnormalities. I might just go jump of a cliff.

Sneaks in hugs Alison xxx sneaks out.

Oh Alison :hug: that's what happened on our first pgd cycle, 4 tested, all grew to blasts & all were abnormal, it is so horrible that can be the outcome :(
Take care of yourself :hug:

im so sorry, alison. :hug:

Minnie did you go back and try again with testing? I have low reserve so I assume no point here

Sorry to hear that Alison :(

Yes we then did two Ivf cycles to get more embryos to test, by some fluk in the next epu we got 18 eggs (I had only ever had 6 before, we added luveris that time but I also had it the next time & still only got 6), we had 10 to test the second time but only had the one good from 10

Alison, I am so so sorry. Sending you such big hugs.

I'm so sorry to hear that Alison, sending you many hugs sweetie :hug::hug::hug: xoxo

Need someone to jump with Alison?

Chem preg here...levels of only 9 which is probably just the left over of my last HCG shot. And the testing doesn't stop there either....when AF finally arrives (could be up to 7 days away!) have to go back for another bt to make sure my levels have baselined & will then have to see the FS again.

Question I have is if my levels are so low why have my symptoms been so full on.

Devastated to say the least...got sent home from work. Not sure how to tell DD4. She has been so excited about us trying to have another baby. Was a bit hard to keep it from her as she had to come to most of my appts.

Oh Joe not good news for you either :hug:
The whole symptoms things is so hard, maybe they were from the hcg injection ?
So sorry it wasn't good news for you :hug:

oh JoeSpratt - I'm gutted for you, for us both. I wish we could give each other a hug. I've had chemicals before and had symptoms, it's just a part of the cruelty of it all. Whereto here for you? I feel the end of the road but I don't want it to be, not sure where to go next. Seeing the FS next week as a review/follow up but I suspect he'll just say my chances are not good now. Life sucks sometimes, I feel the most terrible I've ever felt. Big hugs to you JS xxxxxx

Hi JoeSpratt how are you feeling today? I woke up hoping it was all a bad dream but alas it was reality. What are your plans from here?

I am thinking of going hardcore on the natural approach and seeing where I end up, I just don't feel done but don't know if that's just me not being able to accept the inevitable or not?

Hi JoeSpratt how are you feeling today? I woke up hoping it was all a bad dream but alas it was reality. What are your plans from here?

I am thinking of going hardcore on the natural approach and seeing where I end up, I just don't feel done but don't know if that's just me not being able to accept the inevitable or not?

SORRY DOUBLE POST!!

Was up half the night & the other half was spent crying...not doing too well! Work has been good & I've been at least able to stay home. not sure I would have been able to face my work colleagues after my mental breakdown yesterday. Tomorrow is going to be bad enough. Just need the hormones to settle & hopefully then the emotions won't be so manic. Can't bring myself to tell my little girl that she won't be a big sister. Not that I don't want to try again but don't think that our finances will stretch that far. DP sees me hurting so much & I don't think he wants me to have to go through the hurt again. I should be happy with my lot as we have the most precious little girl, which is more than some others, but my desire to be a mum again is still burning so strong. We unfortunately can't try the "normal way" as we have a 50/50 chance of transferring the genetic disorder which is terminal & to have to wait until I was 12 weeks to get the results before deciding to terminate would be even more heartbreaking than what we are going through now. Funny how kids pick up on things though. DD could sense something was wrong this morning & tried to fane illness so she could stay home. As much as I would have loved the cuddles, could not have dealt with that today. I know that sounds bad but it is the truth. Seeing me all sad all day would not be good for her & not allowing myself time to grieve is not good for me.

Wishing you much happiness Alison xxx

Double

Oh JoeSpratt - you and I are feeling the exact same way, if I hear one more person say, oh well at least you have Amelia - sorry but it's not a consolation, the utter yearning for another child is so strong. I hate the thought that as an older mum my daughter won't have a sibling to keep in company with when I'm in a nursing home!!! I am beyond sad and I'm not coping well either, I understand what you mean, Amelia has 3 year old kindy at 12.15 pm and while I love her to bits I am hanging to drop her off. I just want to be alone, friends want to visit etc., I don't feel like being around people at the moment, yesterday I took Amelia to dancing thinking it would be good to get my mind off it, only for one of the mums to walk in with her week old baby and she sat right next to me. I burst into tears, I felt bad for her but I just couldn't help it. I'm sorry you can't try naturally, it would be silly for me to as well with all my issues but we just don't want to spend any more money on IVF either, it's so hard on the finances. I had to put my dog down (she had leukemia, 12.5 years old) on Monday, my daughter came up to me today with a picture and said, don't be said mumma, I have drawn you a picture of Molly and Nugget in the rainbow. I just burst into tears, I just can't stop crying I don't know how to handle these emotions, just being told your eggs are too crap to conceive is so hard to accept huh.

Whatever happens JS please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you and I can both get our miracle somehow. Life throws curveballs but when are you able to throw them back and say enough?!

xxxx

im so sorry, joe. i dont know what else to say, its simply unfair. :hug:

alison - more hugs for you too. :hug:

Alison & JoeSpratt I'm so sorry for the both of you, it's so unfair. Big hugs to you both xox