Long Term Assisted Conception Nov 2007

feeling a little flat this arvo, so i went looking for an inspirational quote to add to my sig - the first one i found i just thought was perfect for so many long termers, and i wanted to share it with you

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"Victory belongs to the most persevering."
Napoleon

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so often i think that what we face day in and day out on this path we're taking is a battle - against our uncooperative bodies, against our fears, against that dreaded brick wall we keep on hitting up against.... one day we will have our individual victories...


oh yeah, didn't find one for my sig yet... :rolleyes:

I like it BG - very appropriate!!
I really agree and i do believe that this journey that we are going on - shapes us as parents when we do have success!! I hold my two miracles so close to me and don't let them out of my site - ever!!!


Nothing happening here
DH doesn't want a do another cycle for a while due to the $$$ factor!!
so disappointed but nothing i can do except pray for a damm natural miracle, but after 7 years of no contraception and DTD every month when i o'ed - i reckon i have more chance winning Tattslotto!!

How are you to BW and BG- my hopes are resting with you guys!!
take care everyone and keep sane!
odette

Odette, I think we need to leave it to BG to carry the torch for now.

My levels are already higher than they ever were last time, and don't appear to be in any hurry to slow down at all. I'm looking at another case of OHSS, another freeze all cycle... Having been there before, I'm even more scared.

No puregon tonight, just lucrin and orgalutran, and another blood test tomorrow. That will make my 6th consecutive one.

I'm really starting to think I'm going to have to investigate this IVM thing more thoroughly...

BW

i'm kinda cruisin for now - had bt today and u.s tomorrow - am stressing out a little bit. can feel that something is happening with my ovaries, but no idea what - and my u.s is done just at a normal imaging place, not the ivf clinic, so i won't get results til the fs looks at the report later tomorrow night. i'm starting to feel more than a little anxious cos tomorrow feels like make or break day - and i don't KNOW what the outcome is going to be - for a control freak to be in the dark is the cruelest of cruel situations!

i've spent many an hour lately talking to BW about the if's, but's and maybe's of what is happening with boh of our cycles. i am feeling helpless in that i can't help her any more than what i am. and i'm feeling extremely guilty that, at this stage, my cycle seems to be on target when hers is going so erratically - and i'm starting to feel fear of what might happen for both of us - why can't this just be easy???

hopefully by this time tomorrow night i'll have some answers and know when i'll trigger and go to epu - god i hope so. we seriously need some semi-good news in here at the moment...

girls,
what keeps me sane during IVF is to remember that IVF is like a role of the dice!
You just don't know how the dice will fall and you have no control over the numbers that will come up!
Its hard not to take it as a personal failure, but it isn't - its just the way the dice falls!
BW hope all works out for you tommorow- even if it is a bust for tranfer this cycle- at least you will have some frozen emby's for next cycle!!! Better than going through everything for nothing. Maybe that is just how you have to do it- stim one cycle- and then tranfer the next cycle!!
Whatever way it has to be- as long as it works!!!
Good luck tommorow BG- its great that you can feel that there is something going on down there!
take care
odette

Hey Everyone :D

BW - Hun, I am so sorry about the OHSS... A little worried for you in terms of the levels being worse than last time - And a little cranky at your FS for not being able to do more about it ;)
I am by no means an expert, but I find it a little bit of a mystery that he didn't prepare a little better expecting it to happen... But like Odette perfectly put it - IVF truly is just like a roll of the dice, its just frustrating not being in control.

I really hope you're doing ok - More so physically at the moment...(Sounds like you have BG in control of your mental status!)... And praying they have you under control to avoid hospital - A look on the optimistic side - It may just be timed well enough that you simply just cannot do Christmas with the family this year....;) - Of course you know I'm only kidding - Hoping that they sort things out for you soon xxx

Lou - You are just wonderful, I got your parcel yesterday - Sent you a text to say thankyou, thankyou, thankyou!!!
Hope you're feeling fantastic with your two little ones snuggling in tight... I have everything crossed for you hun xxx

BG - hope things are going perfectly with the cycle being on track - I know its hard when you feel terrible that BW's cycle is not going according to plan... Know, though, that she would only want the very best outcome for you xxx
So great to hear that things are happening for you as they should be xxx

Odette - You sound amazingly positive, glad to hear you're doing ok :)
Its frustrating when our DH's want to have a little rest for terms of $$$ - We've just done that, its been exactly 12 months since our last cycle - and I'm about to start ripping hair out!
Hope you win the lotto soon or inherit some unknown amount of cash to make the next cycle able to happen asap!! ;)

Ann - How are things going??
Thinking about you and your non coincidental 6's all of the time! :)

Big hi to Shannon and anyone else I've missed - Hope everyone is wonderful!

Well me - Feeling great back on all of the herbs again - You do really notice the difference!
Rang Dr Sacks office this morning and made my first appointment with him - Thursday 13th December... Very excited to be moving ahead again!!!
Am interested to hear what his take will be on everything, and what he will do differently... cycle #5 has to have something different, I just know it!!
So, we speak to him and go from there!
Will also get his advice as to whether we should do a cycle before we go away or wait till we get back - We don't leave until 18th Feb, but I don't want to do a cycle before the wedding which is Jan 6th (too much stress!)... so we'll see what time brings us!

Hope everyone is just great xxx

Holly, I'm doing ok now. Physically I'm much LESS uncomfortable than the first time, still scared to death by the numbers, though! I've cried on three different nurses at the clinic, and now on my third day off work, and I've finally reached acceptance. I guess it's the fact that they didn't send any more orgalutran home with me so they are expecting to trigger soon!

Whatever happens from here, happens. I know I've got through it before when I was being stubborn and pig-headed and refusing to go to hospital, and I'm under very strict instructions from the clinic to not do it again this time. We've got the plans set in place and know which hospital to go to where they will know how to deal with OHSS!

The problem with PCOS, the absolutely, revoltingly sucky part of it (the words used on msn and in sms messages with BG are MUCH stronger!) is that not only are we gambling on the IVF side of things, we're also gambling on the unpredictable nature of PCOS and our response to fertility drugs. One cycle you can be on a high dose and be fine, next cycle you can be on a lower dose and hyperstimulate badly. The line between "not enough stimulation" and "too much stimulation" is very narrow and constantly moving.

I suspect this OHSS thing is something I'm going to face with every stim cycle. It will be sheer luck if we ever have to do another and actually manage to avoid it next time! If this is what it takes to have a baby, then that's what I'll do. Yes, I'll freak out along the way, but I will get there. Some doctors may argue for cancelling and trying again, but as we've seen, there's no guarantee that it won't happen again next time, and the one after that, and the one after that... I'm choosing to stick with forward progress, even if it is a little slow and not the conventional path. I've always seemed to like to do things a little differently than most!

And a little message for BG when she gets home, I'm sure her explanation will follow soon enough (I've just got to get the words out before they run away!)... I do listen to you! And you know how frustrating it is to have your own words sent back to you, and I've collected quite a few over the last week, so I'm well armed! I will do my best to make you laugh, or at least smile. :p Everything you've done for me over the last week I'm only too happy to repay. At least until the poo hits the fan here and I land in hospital! Even then, I may not be here to talk to you, but I'll still be thinking of you and praying for you big time. :hug:, :hug: and more :hugs: Now, how's about we get off the seesaw for a while? And another couple of :hug: just for good measure!

BW

I'm going to collection on Sunday. I don't know anything else yet, just that it's Sunday. I only know that much because the hospital rang me to arrange payment because they don't have admin staff there on a Sunday. I haven't heard from the clinic yet, they said they'd call around three, I'll wait.

I'm relieved - I don't think I could have taken another whole day of worrying!

I also have the satisfaction of knowing I've messed up my FS's weekend somewhat!

Now... to madly rush through my reports and get them finished before hand!

BW

BW,
Good luck for Sunday!

Ann :pray:
(Yep, I'm still here)

ok, quick one from me!

firstly - BW - thanks. thankd for being there this morning to stop me stressing. thanks for being there when i was losing the plot. thanks for being there to cheer me up. thanks for getting DH to think of me instead of work. thanks for being there tonight when the phone rang (even if you didn't know it) - just THANKS! (and Lou, i know you were there too - so thanks to you too hun)

now, the news - and the reason i was stressing:
right ovary - 28 follies, 1 at 15mm, 1 at 14mm, 10 between 10 and 13mm
left ovary - 31 follies, 1 at 15mm, 10 between 10 and 13mm

stress levels were shocking - i've seen what BW is going through, had no E2 levels to run a comparison to... very scared little vegemite - and the prospect of waiting til after 6 to hear from the clinic...

thankfully, it only took about 4 hours for them to get back to me! E2 levels are only 2629! woo hoo - EPU is slated for Tuesday - trigger on sunday night (at 11.30pm) woo hoo!!

sorry for the self involved post, but have been hammered by visitors since i got home, and really want to get this out there - and then into my journal!

BG,

Good luck for Tuesday. Not that far away!

Ann

Hi all

BW good luck for epu

BG - WTG hun on EPU tuesday - as i have already said i have always had huge numbers of eggs but my E2 wasnt really very high so always a good sign - looks like you will get to TF too.

Holly - no probs hun happy to help.

Ann good to see you - so where are you at ?

Shannon - are you still away? hope you are doing OK

OD - glad to see you are still around sorry about the hold on things enjoying trying at home for a while and you might be surprised xx

me - well no symptoms at all no sore BB nothing - have no idea how things will tirn out but then again have always been wrong with every other cycle so just going with the ride at the mo - dont think i will be testing as BT is only 10 days after TF so that wait i can deal with, DYK i havent even been tempted !!!WTF not like me at all im the POAS queen (after Sushee.lol) still im not even feeling like im in the TWW!!!

will keep you all posted for any *signs* and give me a big slap if i even think about POAS lol it never gets me anywhere

xx sending you all the best vibes

Hi Guys

Wow i go away for a few days and so much has happened!

Lou - Yay for being in the TWW, you sound very relaxed which is fantastic and i admire you stregnth at not POAS!! Any word from the FS on your ovary situation?

Ann - Hi Hun, how are you holding up?

BW - I love the positive attitude you sound like you are in a great frame of mind! Good luck with EPU on Sun, look after yourself and i will have everything crossed for nice easy recovery followed by transfer.

BG - Great Follie numbers!! Sounds like a perfect result so far!! Good luck with trigger and UPU!!

Holly - Good luck with Dr S, i was at St George Private when i was in syd, and thinking next time im coming down i should make an appointment.. hmmm Great to hear your feeling fantastic on the herbs!!

Odette - Good luck with the saving $$ and having un with DH, When are the twins turning 5?

Hi Nic & Mel and anyone i may have missed :)

As for me worste birthday yesterday, was in meeting in syd all day yesterday came down with a cold the night before and then my flight got delayed by 5 hours last night. Finally hit the front door step at 1130pm! And off sick today with this awful cold :(

Apart from that last dose of provera tonight so should be starting FSH early next week! Yay

Shan

Shannon, you must be relieved to be finally home after all that, and even more relieved to be at the end of the provera!

Does anyone else find the day between trigger and collection to be the worst ever? I wouldn't say that I'm in more pain, just very uncomfortable in a way that's different to before.

Still quite tired here. I crashed out at 9pm last night after the week from hell. The on/off/on again EPU with the hospital screwing the clinic around really didn't help matters! Woke up just before 4am to use the toilet... and discovered DH not yet home from work! That's a way to freak a person out! He's finally home and in bed now. It's as though we've taken different shifts to sleep at the moment.

BW

yes BW- I find I am really uncomfy too at that time. Fingers crossed!

Just popping in to see how you all are doing. And sending you all a truck load of babydust and sticky vibes.

Thanks, Daisy. Nice to know it's "normal" and not a sign of the OHSS that is probably heading my way.

BW

BW - I always found that day awful too and quite painful and weird like they could just burst through my stomach like some scene from a gross horror movie.

32. Freeze all. Feel better than last time, but still have the friendly drugs from the hospy in my system. More when not groggy and drugged.

BW