Hi Girls, I have been stalking for a while now and thought it was about time to post. My DH and I have been TTC for 20 months. I'm at the point where I am thinking we may need some assistance but I keep finding myself putting off making an appointment with a GP to get some tests done, referrals etc as I am terrified that there is an actual problem where as at the moment I can still live in denial and come up with excuses such as we just aren't getting the timing right etc. I know this is stupid as if there is a prob then it is much better to know about it sooner rather than later.........
When I do finally make the appointment what can I expect? What sort of initial tests will they run?
They might do a 7dpo progesterone test to see if you ovulated, some std tests, a sperm test for hubby. Once that comes back, if nothing pops up, they might send you for an ultrasound (maybe around the time you are due to ovulate) or a HSG to check your tubes are open. It can be daunting, but the rewards are worth it Hang in there, I hope your bfp is just around the corner.
Welcome Em!
I have just been through this after 12 months of TTC#2- so its fresh in my memory.
My GP did an overdue pap smear.
Gave me a referral for a CD21 blood test to check for ovulation.
Referred me for an ultrasound to check out my bits.
Referral for DH to have a Sperm analysis.
Referral to fertility specialist.
She also checked my blood pressure, weight and medical history.
Make the appointment- you won't regret it!
Good luck
DOn't be scared, you will feel much better when there is a 'plan' and someone is trying to help you. Not being able to get pregnant is an isolating, scary time and I assure you, even if there is something wrong it can be addressed. You will kick yourself later if you wait longer and still can't get pregnant.
None of the tests are difficult ( well you hubby may beg to differ when asked to give a sperm sample lol), I really hope things work out for you!
Thanks girls I appreciate the info no one knows we are TTC so its good to be able to get some advice as i dont want to ask anyone IRL. We have been getting hassled since we got married (almost 2 years) to have a baby little do they know we have been trying the whole time with no luck but the disappointment is hard enough for me each month already without having a whole heap of people also waiting expectantly.
I will make an appointment next week and start the process. The other part that worries me though is I have a very demanding job and I normally work 12 hours a day so I don't know where i will find the time for all those tests!
The relief at knowing "why" is just as strong as the grief that comes with it - so if you do find out that there is something not working quite right there are lots of mixed feelings - but it does feel better (eventually! and sometimes!) to be "doing something". At the same time, as recently as last night I cried after BDing and when DH (poor thing!) asked me what was wrong I said "I just wish it could happen normally, like everyone else". So although mostly I am glad to be doing the IVF thing at the moment, I still feel sad about the normalness that we have lost by having to do IVF as well. There are so many mixed feelings that come with LTTTC, and it understandable that you will be feeling overwhealmed. As others have said it is not as bad as you imagine it will be nothing ever is!!
I had been the the GP when we were starting TTC and she did tests then - to check rubella and my general health, so when I went to see her again, it was simply a matter of saying it hadn't happened yet, and she sent me for blood tests - Day21 progesterone (which you have to have on day 21 of your cycle) I already had up to date pap smear, but if you haven't done one before - they are not as bad as you think either - (not pleasant - but! okay) as long as you stay relaxed (I forced myself to be relaxed - never had one till I was 29!!! cause I kept putting it off!) I also went for an ultrasound, and that was internal - it was a simialr level of awkwardness as the Pap, but it went on for longer, so felt strange - and it was in a clinic with lots of preg women! so I felt pretty crappy. She also gave me a referral to a FS, but he didn't have to send me off for any tests, as the GP already had them done - so it was just talking with him. DH was there for both and that was helpful.
Unfortunately when you have a busy job it can be difficult, but it is a matter of determining wht your priorities are I guess - if you really want a baby, then work is going to have to come second to the appointments when you are pregnant, so I guess now is the time to start working out how you can manage them both.
Good luck! I hope you get a BFP and it's not an issue at all
Em just do it!
I was dragging my feet about it too for the longest time. For me it was a case that hubby and I both had our basic tests done and everything came back 'normal'. I had lap done to get the endo out and had been doing urine tests to determine ovulation for months just to ensure that our timing was right (we were doing every second day anyway). And of course I've been crying most every day for the past few moths since I've just been getting so frustrated! But I finally went back to my gp and asked for a referral back to my gyn to get some further assistance.
Are you absolutely sure your day of ovulation? My BIL, who's a genetic counciler, told me of a friend of his that had gone to him with some questions since they'd been TTC for a year. Turns out they hadnt' been doing BBT and were totally missing their ovulation day! They were pregnant the next month. Wish it was that easy for me
I'm totally with you on trying to keep it hushhush, considering my age and that everyone else in the family is pregnant with first or second (at least that's what it feels like!) I was happy to get through the holidays without too many questions. Though the people that do knwo we've been TTC have been fairly supportive. If you have one person you could confide in and trust not to say anything it might help, otherwise we're here!
Most of the early tests are pretty quick and easy, even an ultrasound doesn't take that long, hopefully you can just use some sick leave if it gets to that point.
Good question about ovulation I think we are getting the timing right but I don't know for sure. I tried opks for a long time but never got a positive and I did try temping but it was up and down and all over the place so didn't really make any sense ( at the time I was based on a mining construction site so due to super hot nights the air con was always cranking so I think that was intefering with it as some mornings I would wake up freezing and have a super low temp to match) Since I started the journey however I am in far more touch with my body and can recognize the ovulation symptoms. My cycle is only semi regular which doesn't help- I will have a 31 day cycle for 3 or 4 months then it switches to a 38-40 day cycle for the next few months then back to 31 etc
I did tell one friend about TTC but she has 2 girls and fell preg both times very easily so she doesn't really get it. I know she means well and I love her to death but I always end up feeling even more inadequate as a woman that I can't conceive as easily.
Since I'm sharing details I should prob add in that I have had 2 mc to my now DH many years ago. We weren't trying at the time and as I was only 20 after the 2nd one we decided to take additional contraceptive measures and wait till we were a bit older and more settled before we tried again. I had to have a dc for the 2nd mc and there were some complications following it but I was assured it wouldn't affect my fertility but maybe they were wrong.....
Ok girls I know i have to stop playing doctor google and go and get the tests done. I will make an appointment on Monday. I don't get sick leave with my job (or annual leave which really sucks) but I will figure something out. I know if I get pg my boss will be supportive but I would still rather not say anything about TTC. I work in a very male dominated industry so at this point I think it's best to stay quiet.
Once again thanks for all the support it feels so good to finally be voicing all of this to people that understand!
Em- seeing a FS was the best thing I have ever done. I finally feel knowing that there is nothing wrong but finally having the help to get us our BFP. I think you should go for it, you have nothing to lose.
Sounds similar to a job I had once no leave no time off, but it was a caring group so if we did need sick time we could get it usually.
Anyway, did you make an appointment yet? Did you manage to see someone already? I had mine a few days ago, it was as I expected, they think I need to go the assisted route since everything is "fine", "normal" in fact my husbands tests were um "perfect" . I had them run a second progesterone blood check since I hadn't seen a positive LH surge on my OPKs for a few months. Like you I have sort of figured out when I was ovulating (nipples that needed duct taping for instance!) but with AF showing up each month it always felt a little better seeing that line saying Yes, you need to do it Now. That way when AF did come I could look back on my app and see that I really had done it when the surge showed was the right time.
My cycle is like that as well, I'll have a 35/7 day for a while then suddenly get a 27 day. It really doesn't help someone who's looking out for early pregnancy symptoms to see spotting around the time implantation would be and get a little excited only to have AF show up 5 days later, 7 days early
I feel positive knowing that there's help out there, and my husband keeps insisting that everything will be find and it WILL happen, he just doesn't understand how defective I feel that it hasn't! and that we will be spending thousands on what others get naturally, and I'd really much rather have a new lens than have to pay for something that should happen for free, but since I really need to get the baby making process started it has to be this way. New lens will have to wait.
No I haven't made the appointment yet. I had every intention to but work got in the way again and it was far too busy to even contemplate being able to leave the office. My DH however did go to the doctors for a full check up and got the paperwork to have a SA done. Of course as you can't bd or anything for 3 days prior to collecting the sample I won't let him do it till AF shows!
I do think about getting a less time consuming job but I also feel that it is important to have a good career that I enjoy jic the baby making doesn't work out for us. It is also a financially rewarding job and we are going to need that if we go down the Ac route. Like you I also think its unfair to have to pay lots of $ for something that should come naturally.
Good luck with your trying to conceive journey and fx we both get our bfp sooner rather than later
Em,
We took a while after getting OH checked, they're so lucky that their test is so painless and easy!, and after I had my bloodwork done and everything came back normal. As they say infertility is 40% male, 40% female and 20% who knows what. Unfortunately we fell in the 20% category. I know it sounds horrible but hopefully it's just a minor fault on your other halfs side that can be easily fixed (something as simple as cutting out alcohol for a few months to reduce the number of mutant sperm).
Do you drink a lot of caffeine? That can also play a role in conception as well, I had cut down years ago (used to drink 8+ cups of coffee a morning working the night shift) then eliminated entirely about a year ago.
It is good to have the money coming in, but if it's causing stress to your body it could also be making it harder to fall pregnant. I'd asked hubby if he wanted me to try and get an outside job again (right now I just manage his websites and play housewife/gardener) he said he didn't want me stressed.
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Hang in there, I hope your bfp is just around the corner.
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