I really need a different perspective as things are going round and round in my head and I don't know which way to turn. After TTC for three years including IVF my husband and my only option is to go overseas seeking an egg donor. I haven't asked for a donor here as I thought it selfish to take up such a valuable resource when I already have children.
The cost is close to $30K. We have the money to do this (just). It is our savings to buy a house. I am unable to decide what to do. Whether we should try overseas for a baby and spend our future security or not.
We already have two boys and had planned on having one last baby (a girl would be nice). But after giving birth to our last son I started to experience irregular periods and early peri menopause. With an amh of 1.9 there is very little chance of IVF working. At 41 time is now running out.
Spending this money may not result in success and of course once having the baby staying home for a few years hits the finances hard.
I dont want to live life regreting the might have beens. So some thoughts and advice would be appreciated. Before I have a melt down of what ifs.
This is something you and DH need to tackle out what to do. Everyone will have differing opinions, and we'll always wonder the what could have beens either way. What do you want more, what will bring you greater joy: a big, crazy, happy family, or, the smaller but financially stable life??
For what it's worth, sure, I would LOVE a huge family, with lots of precious ones. But if it came down to your situation, and I already had two beautiful babies, I would be content and use that money to give them a stable home. But that is just me. Make a list of pro's and con's for each, then discuss.
Advice needed - egg donation vs home
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