thread: Devastated..

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Sep 2009
    Adelaide, SA
    86

    Unhappy Devastated..

    This is my first ICSI cycle...

    I was on 150 Gonal-F from the 31st of December - on day 8 went in for a blood and scan which showed 10 and 12 follies on either side - but all too, too small - around 8-10mm...

    They up-ed my Gonal-F to 225 - and I went in for my second blood and scan this morning - still the same - muuch too small... in fact, only 2 follies look a little bigger (8-12mm)

    I am so, so scared... and I am actually totally gutted... I have a terrible feeling that this cycle is gonna be cancelled because I am not responding...

    Has anyone else had anything similar???

    I am gonna hear from the FS this arvo - but most likely will up my dose and re-scan Friday... but if no response by Friday... it's game over.

    I am so sad


  2. #2
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    Oh fatgirlslim.
    I know it happens for some, but for most the first cycle is more often than not a crash-and-burn. I'm sorry to say it, cause I know it doesn't help you at all right now, but it really is trial and error till they get it right.
    My first cycle we did ok growing follicles and got to EPU, but then ....zero eggs.
    But you know what? Our second cycle we got DS.

    I'm really hoping the new doseage does the trick and you can proceed. Cancelled cycles are devastating.
    But if not, your docs have learnt some important lessons about how your body responds to the drugs. And next time they'll do better.


  3. #3
    Registered User

    Sep 2009
    Adelaide, SA
    86

    Thanks Marcellus -

    It's just reaaaally hard to deal with it... I guess I was a little naive thinking that everything would run so smoothly - I really expected the "hard" bit being the embryo transfer - and the 2ww - but it looks like my challenge is actually GETTING there...

    Thanks again...

    L

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    Oh, I know, it is really hard. It's all hard.
    You will get there Just take care of yourself in the meantime

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Rural England
    855

    Fatgirslim I just wanted to agree with everything marcellus has said hun.

    We have such high hopes and expectations when starting our journeys down the IVF/AC road, and with reason - it is our greatest and more often than not our one hope of having our dreams come true - why shouldn't we feel positive and hopeful that things will happen?

    But unfortunately for many (most) women, the first IVF cycle gives less than ideal results, and it's really *really* hard to experience that because, no matter how many people tell you that it will happen eventually, it's still your journey and it still hurts you.

    In my first IVF cycle we didn't do too badly for eggs (we got 10) but only 3 fertilised and only 2 made it overnight I was absolutely devastated - my eggs hadn't been mature enough before collection, it seems. But... in my next stim cycle we got 9 eggs and 7 of those fertilised and all but one of them kept dividing so it was a hell of a different result from just two months earlier!

    Please know that in many woman things can change rapidly in 2-3 days leading up to EPU - sometimes follies can just mushroom and before you know it the next scan can show a bunch of beautiful follies are all ready to go. It happens often.

    If it doesn't, please know that your FS will have learnt so much about you from this first cycle, as marcellus says and next time, you will more than likely see a huge improvement and big steps towards your dream... but I'm hoping that it's even too early to be talking about that yet

    All the best, thinking of you xo

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jan 2010
    Western Sydney
    18

    FGS - How are you today?

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Sep 2009
    Adelaide, SA
    86

    Hey Ladies...

    I just thought I'd come and post back here...

    I had my scan and bloods on Friday morning - and - Acacia... you were TOTALLY right!!!

    Out of NO-WHERE I have 8-9 juicy fat follies!!!! I am so, so, sooooo thrilled... the FS was quite shocked/surprised and asked if I'd increased my dose!!???!

    So... I had my trigger injection tonight (ovidrel) and go for EPU on Tuesday 7:30am!

    I find it so hard to get excited...and then to not get excited... it's such a hard ourney this LTTTC one.. because once you've crossed one hurdle... the next one comes right up in your face...

    Just thought I'd share my good news

    Thanks so much for being so positive and supportive... xx

    L

  8. #8
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633


    I'm so happy for you!
    One hurdle at a time, hey. Wishing you the best for Tuesday

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Rural England
    855

    That's wonderful news! I'm so pleased for you, FGS!

    And you're right - and marcellus is spot on - it's about taking one hurdle at a time. It's so hard not to look ahead and picture the end result you're after, but it's a hard but important lesson to learn that during AC you more often than not have to take one step at a time, and be really exciting and happy for each step you get through - each one is that little bit closer to your BFP!

    Hoping for a wonderful result at EPU, and on to the next step! Lots of luck and best wishes for Tuesday
    Last edited by onthefly; January 18th, 2010 at 12:27 PM. : Remove baby ticker

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Brissy
    1,292

    sending you some good luck, sorry have no answers, hope it is ok for you. x

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    Sydney
    1,226

    All the best for tomorrow FGS...Hope you get a good batch..

    Enjoy the happy juice..

    Lulu

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Rural England
    855

    FGS, I've been thinking about you and wondering how your EPU went? How did your eggies go? Hope you're doing okay and in your TWW now...