Help with IVF please

HI Mel
Try not to worry hun...cramping is not unusual after IVF...your body's been through alot and your ovaries are now pumping out the progesterone to keep things sticky! I think it's all sounding good...really good xxx

Well I am officially going out of my mind :( I cant help but think every little twinge I get is AF coming and every day it doesnt come I think I have a chance, but again then the evening comes and I feel all negative again! I am still having cramps and pains in my tummy but, but not as much as a few days ago. I had a look and apparently it can be a side effect of Crinone. I have also been having really bad joint aches which it says can be another side effect. And OMG crying - I should create my own water reserve and end this water crisis! I am just so emotional, did anyone else find this? Or am I just using the Crinone as an excuse to be a blubbering mess?

Well the only other thing left to say is BRING ON THURSDAY - the wait is killing me :wall:

Linda - Hope your holding up, :crossfingers: for you.

Mel,
I was thinking of you today :) I think all the anticipation of waiting to find out turns you into a blubbering mess as well as the drugs. I only ever did get hormonal once ( at a christening a day before BT and there was so many pregnant older 5 children families) But that time I was pregnant but didnt know it...lets hope its all those preggy hormones conguring up all these tears.
Bec

AF arrived today :crying: I am totally heartbroken and feel like life just cannot get any worse. I know it sounds dramatic, but I feel like my baby boy got stolen from me and now I can't even fall pregnant to have another go. Nothing compares to the pain of losing Nicholas, but I dont understand why I am being made to suffer like this - I must have done something pretty bad somewhere along the line!

I really dont know what to do... we cant really afford a frozen cycle at the moment, and I am so scared about Christmas... last Christmas was spent crying because we were meant to be spending it with Nicholas and we couldn't but we got through thinking that next Christmas would be different cause we would have another baby by then... another baby? we cant even get pregnant let alone have another baby!

I am sorry if this post makes anyone feel uncomfortable. I really dont know where to post though... I feel like my grief just wont let up, because not only am I grieving Nicholas but I am grieving for the pregnancy that "may" have been every single month when AF arrives. Oh and the amount of people that tell me that I am not falling because of my grief and stress.... :angry:

I probably sound really pathetic, I just think I had put all of my hopes into this month (whether I said I believed I was pg or not, there is still that feeling deep down that you could be - as you know).

OK well thank you to everyone for their support over the last however long, I cant tell you how much I appreciate it :hug:

Mel

The world is a cruel place when such a wonderful woman is put through this sort of pain. I really don't know what to say to make it better other than I'm sorry for your pain.

You have every right to feel sad/angry/confused/scared/worried/grief stricken, I can't begin to imagine the rollercoaster of emotions that you are on.

Just know that I am here for you, however and whenever you need me.

Please know that I am thinking of you and DH constantly.

Huge :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Lv Spring

Dear Mel,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I can totally understand where you are coming from.

I wish you and your dh all the best for the future.

xxx Sue xxxx

Mel you have every right to be feeling all the things that you are!

I'm so sorry hun, just know I'm thinking of you!

Mel
I'm so sorry hun...you've been through so much...I wish there was something I could say...just know we're all thinking of you...take care of yourselves...do what you need to do and stuff everyone else!!!

Mel, I'm so very sorry to read your news today.

I found myself in the exact same situation a few days ago... Our first FET worked, but we miscarried... Coming in to a second FET and losing the majority of our frozen embryos because they didn't thaw... and then having our second transfer fail... It brings everything back, I'm grieving the baby we lost, the embryo that didn't take and the two that didn't thaw all at once. The only reason I'm not in tears now is because I'm on a class at the moment, and I've simply got to hold it all back.

I think the worst thing about the IVF is knowing that there was an embryo there - it's so very different to a natural cycle - you KNOW fertilisation took place, but implantation didn't. It's so very easy to fall into the trap of blaming yourself... I know how hard it is not to, but please don't. It will work again for both of us - we have to hold on to that hope, but it is important to take some time to cry and scream and let it all out before you even try to get back to the point where you can hope and try again.

Sending you so many gentle hugs right now. :hug: :hugs:

BW

Mel,

I am so saddened to hear your news! My heart goes out to you and your DH!
Life is so not fair!
Please keep the faith though! Your precious angel will come.
A friend of mine went through what you did (I think I posted the story on the LTTC thread), and she now has a beautiful 8 month old girl!
It is only normal for you to grieve and be upset, so dont hold back! I know what you mean about the milestones like Xmas!
Sending you lots of hugs
Mon :)

Hey Mel,
Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and hope you are doing ok. You know where I am if you need anything or even just a zombie-hug:cry:
Take care

Mel: I just wanted to give you a huge warm hug :hug: You are never far from my thoughts, I just wish I could help. If there is anything you need, I'm here.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Lv Spring

Hi Girls,

Just wanted to thank everyone for their support. I am sorry its taken me a few days to get back, but I need some time to just sort things out in my head.

DH and I have decided we will give it another go this month... so the rollercoaster starts again :rolleyes: I have a scan booked for Friday morning to check what is going on down there and then we go from there, they told me that transfer will be 2 days after my natural ovulation. I am being demanding this cycle though - I have said I will not be talked out of 2 embryos (not that they have tried yet but I know they will) and I want Pregnyl for post transfer support. Because they havent found a reason for our infertility I cant help but think there is an issue with implantation so the Pregnyl is definitely worth a try.

Anyway, just wanted to thank everyone and say that just like everyone else I lived to see another day. As much as you think you cant cope with any more you just pick yourself up again... I guess its called survival!

So, any tips or warnings about the 2nd cycle of IVF? The nurse told me it is much easier to cope with than the 1st cycle because you are not pumping as many drugs into you.

How is everyone else going? I am about to go and have a read through the threads to see what I have missed. Hope you are all ok, as ok as can be anyway.

Mel :hug:

You are amazing Mel, just bl00dy amazing. Your strength is such an inspiration. I have been thinking about you every day and I am so relieved to see you back.

Demand what ever you think will help you get that BFP and if you do fall with twins, Aunty Spring will fly down there and help change dirty nappies.....

Lv Spring

LOL you know I will hold you to that dont you ;) My MIL is convinced we will have twins, she said so just after we lost Nicholas... then when I told her we are transferring two next time she was like "see I told you it would be twins" :rolleyes: A singleton would be better though, from a risk point of view. I already have a high risk factor because of my blood condition so twins would add even more worry. Not that I would be unhappy... between you and me it would make me so happy (as long as they were healthy).

Im not amazing, just really desperately want a baby - so you do what you gotta do right? :dunno:

I am really nervous about this next month, just keep thinking it hasnt worked any other time including our stim cycle so why will this be any different. I am going to try to brace myself so I dont have as far to fall.

Thanks for thinking about me Spring, your messages on last Wednesday were such a help :hug:

Mel , my sweet. I'm glad to hear you've decided to go back for another go. This thread has been very busy with many of your fans, but for moderation reasons, I'm going to close it and direct you and all the lovely women in here to the Long Term TTC & Assisted Conception - Nov 2007 to continue your chat.

love
sushee