1 day to BD, fight with DH!

[SunnyV]

Hi ladies,

I have been charting, tracking and temping etc - Im like a posessed self nurse! Im really upset because I started this big fight with DH and it was all my fault. Im so embarassed!

I knew that the right week to TTC, and I was watching my CM (sorry!).. anyway, it was only 'good' on ONE DAY! Only one day to BD. This happenned last month as weel, so I was expecting it. When that CM seemed to give me the go ahead, I was all amped up to get this BD dance right, but. BUT. DH didnt want to. He hurt is knee, and instead of being understanding, or performing circus acts to make it work, I just fell apart.

I cried and begged and all the while im thinking, "who in their right mind would want to have BD with this monster?!?"

Im so stressed, and so embarassed and everything is my fault. I even told him that I hate his stupid knee. - what is that? Am I crazy? Is this whole TTC marathon turning me into a horrible undesirable yuk monster? Please, if anyone has advice or if you have been where I am now, let me know. I feel like the worst person in the world.
- Thanks, Sunny.

[Em_325]

Don't worry I have done the exact same thing to my DH! I lost it and accused him of doing it on purpose as he didn't really want to have a baby (all in my mind of course he wants one just as bad as I do.) Easier said than done but try and not beat yourself up over it. TTC is very stressfull when it doesn't happen easily and we aren't super human so of course we are going to crack from time to time. If it makes you feel better after screaming at my poor DH and then apologizing profusely I cracked it again the day my AF came and told him it was all his fault because he didn't bd when I said we had to. Nice wife I am hey. Luckily he forgave me though as he knows it's not how I really feel.

[myturn]

Big !!! You are only human and it's okay to get upset!! It's what you do now that determines the 'kind' of person you are xxx

Remover that sperm can survive for longer than the egg so you can bd before ovulation and you can bd the next day and it will be okay!!
It's hard not to put pressure on yourself so forgive yourself for the tantrum and apologize and have a giggle with him at the nutty monster that turned up this month!!

Look after yourself hun - you know you made the mistake and that's what counts!

[sarah4kurt]

aw hun xoxoxo
i can totally relate and have chucked similar tantrums when my DH doesnt want to at such a time! how dare they deney s one easything thats not that hard for them compared to all our tests and stress us women have to put on our bodies! we get so focused and in our despair its just another fight" we have to fight with infertility an it gets too much!! i know he will forgive you and remember we cant be strong allways and u are only human so dont beat yourself up too much you've been thru enough xoxox big hugs!

[Keli]

Hi ladies,

I have been charting, tracking and temping etc - Im like a posessed self nurse! Im really upset because I started this big fight with DH and it was all my fault. Im so embarassed!

I knew that the right week to TTC, and I was watching my CM (sorry!).. anyway, it was only 'good' on ONE DAY! Only one day to BD. This happenned last month as weel, so I was expecting it. When that CM seemed to give me the go ahead, I was all amped up to get this BD dance right, but. BUT. DH didnt want to. He hurt is knee, and instead of being understanding, or performing circus acts to make it work, I just fell apart.

I cried and begged and all the while im thinking, "who in their right mind would want to have BD with this monster?!?"

Im so stressed, and so embarassed and everything is my fault. I even told him that I hate his stupid knee. - what is that? Am I crazy? Is this whole TTC marathon turning me into a horrible undesirable yuk monster? Please, if anyone has advice or if you have been where I am now, let me know. I feel like the worst person in the world.
- Thanks, Sunny.

Oh Sunny, I completely feel your pain. This happened to me last month. DH (as funny as this sounds) accidentally flicked himself in the nuts with a power lead and then had a cyst rupture on his back so wasn't up fo DTD, I was so ****ed off and caused a massive fight, even accused him of not wanting this baby as much as I do.

Hope things have settled back down at your place and you get that BFP very soon.

[LuluHB]

Its horrible how an act that used to always be fun and spontaneous suddenly becomes the whole entire focus of your relationship. DH and I have had a few of those occasions over the years of TTC, and while its not like it was a hardship for him, I do think DH felt like he was a bit of a performing monkey at times - especially when it got to the whole "no, we can't DTD now because its too close to O'ing and we need to wait", followed by the "yep, right NOW".

I think the secret is to try and make sure that for the rest of the time you try to make DTD as spontaneous, fun and relaxed as its always been for you both - easier said that done because if you're anything like me, that time after O'ing you're just so over the whole stress of getting everything right that you can't be bothered. FWIW, one of our daughters was conceived via a quicky in the shower and another on a month where we were having a break from TTC. Our latest on the other hand was conceived via pinpoint timing and hormone injections. When it is the right time try to keep the romance in it, rather than making it a military operation. Just because you're actively TTC doesn't mean that you can't still do the candles, music, romantic dinner leading up to it etc.

Good luck. It can be a very stressful time and difficult not to lose it a bit. I hope you get that magical BFP very soon.