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SB ~ so sorry hun :hug: GL for your trial run - i suppose at least they are looking into it and perhaps going under sedation for the transfers might be a good option. Hang in there hun and all the best. :comfort:
Nix ~ sorry your feeling :cry: and anxious, hang in there - you will get through it.
Hoping your feelings are wrong and all the best for BT Thursday. :crossfingers:
Hi to everyone else and :bluedust::pink-babydust:
Starbright: Sorry to hear AF showed up today. I feel for you hun :hug: Why do we have to go through this each month! It's so cruel! All we can do is try to put it behind us and look forward to the next month.
Nix- hope your feeling better and the headache has subsided. Hoping that you get a BFP on Thursday!
AFM: I feel like crap. I have had a niggling sore/dry throat these past few weeks and when I woke up this morning I had the sorest throat. Anyway took a sickie from work and visited the local doc who prescribed some antibiotics. Not sure if this has any impact with IVF especially in these early days?! I just want to get better so I am 100% healthy for when I officially start. I did have a chuckle when the doc said that if you take antibiotics with the pill you could fall pregnant - if only that would happen :p
Hope everyone had a good day!
ME 35 :kiss: DH 32 & 1 cheeky furbaby
TTC #1 Since Nov 07
IVF#1 - Aug/Sept - Nurse visit on Wednesday
Evening Ladies
Ok, so here's my day 3 embryo update:
Of the 33 eggs injected by ICSI, 30 ended up fertilising.
Of those 30 eggs, at day 3, we've now basically lost half. My clinic says that for day 3, they're looking for 5-8 cells. We have 15 embryos that are pretty much now out of the running because they're less than 5 cells (eg. 9 of those 15 are still only at 1 cell today, and another 3 have degraded).
But then we have the other 15 embryos that are still within normal range for what the clinic wants (3 of which are above average). We have 2 x 5 cells, 3 x 6 cells, 6 x 7 cells, 1 x 8 cells, 2 x 9 cells and 1 x 12 cells.
So on the one hand, I'm excited about the 15 that are still going (especially the 9 and 12 cell embies), but on the other hand, I'm also disappointed about the 15 that won't make it. In a way, I feel like by getting all those eggs, we're not much better off that our last stim cycle (when we got 15 eggs total), because we're almost on par with the same number of embies at the same stage. So by getting double the amount of eggs this time, all it's done is delay an ET for 6-8 weeks, but we're not really any better off embie-wise.
And again, I'm quite concerned about the quality of the embies too. I didn't find out their quality grading today, but when I speak to the clinic on Wednesday, I want to know the grading quality of each one. We have 3 embies still frozen from a previous cycle, but their quality was graded fair to poor (which is 2 out of 5 I think - second worst grading). I'm just worried that we might get the numbers, but not the quality. Geez, this is all doing my head in. You just can't win.
We won't get a day 4 embie update, so will just have to wait to Wednesday (day 5) before we find out how many made it to blastie stage and therefore, how many they're going to freeze. I will be waiting with baited breath.
Motherhood - So sorry to read that you cancelled your cycle. I can only imagine how hard that decision was for you. Glad to hear you're having a positive attitude for second time around. Good luck.
Starbright - That really sucks with AF showing up. I'm so sorry hun. I hope you can work something out for your next transfer so that it works a bit better (and is a little more comfortable for you).
Lise - hope your U/S went ok today.
Onja - I'm sorry to hear you got a BFN too. :hug: to you.
mitf - good luck with the health kick. You're a better person than me. Haven't done much exercise at all lately.
Nix - I know how you feel about coming up with excuses for not drinking and/or the 'when are we going to have kids' discussions. We're building a house so that's my excuse at the moment - "just not the right time to start thinking about kids, you know" (yeah right, if only they knew we've already been trying for over 18 months).
To all those girls in the TWW - Hope things are going relatively smoothly for you, and you're not going too crazy.
To everyone else I've missed :hello:
Wishes xoxo
Hi ladies,
Sounds like there is lots going on at the moment, and much of it even harder than usual to cope with. I hope everyone is taking care of themselves as best as they can and doing whatever it takes to stay sane.
Sonyalouise - i'm glad you got the go ahead to start with the lucrin. The 10th will come round before you know it!
Motherhood here I come - I really admire how you've turned a tough situation into an opportunity to improve the process next time. I've only had one acupuncture appointment so far, but definitely found it helped. And something else i've done this year is exercise and get healthy. I've lost 15kgs this year, but more importantly than losing weight is that I feel so much better and I've got a much better attitude. So I hope it helps you too.
Loops12 - well fingers crossed for a natural PG - how exciting would that be :)
Tracy - glad you're feeling good!! Spread those good vibes around!! Hope you got your answers, so so frustrating having to wait, I hate it too.
Onja - sorry to hear about AF arriving, and on fathers day too, it somehow makes it even harder to take. :hug:
mitf - :goodluck: with the health kick. As I said, I think it's the best thing I could have done for myself. I was actually upset that I couldnt go for a run today, and I NEVER thought I would say such a thing!
melttc - tell your managers (or not!) whenever feels right for you, no hard and fast rule! Hope you start feeling a bit better soon!
Star-bright - so sorry hon to hear that AF arrived. :grouphug: I know it's hard waiting. I hope the time goes quickly for you.
Nix76 - hope the post helped to make you feel a little better. Sometimes I think a big cry is just what I need...
Wishes - I understand your frustration, but 15 is still a great result, so focus on the positives to get you through this!
AFM - had us today and FINALLY got hold of a nurse this afternoon who confimed that I can do the trigger tonight! This means EPU is Wednesday, and ET on Friday. I was on hold for about 20 mins waiting to speak to a nurse (I needed to know trigger day so I knew what drugs I needed to get - didn't want to pay for more orgalutran if I didn't have to!) so when she told me I could go ahead I was a little emotional and had a few tears. So i've decided to take Wednesday onwards off work, luckily my managers are very supportive and I have loads of sick leave so it's not a problem. I'm just praying everything goes okay, being my first cycle, i'm still not sure what's good or not, or what I should be asking (though i'm trying to take notes for you very wise ladies!!).
Anyway, I hope everyone has a better day tomorrow, and :grouphug: to all!
To anyone I missed - apologies. I'm very tired and ready for bed but have to wait up a bit longer for the trigger injection...!
lise xx
Lise- how very exciting for you, wishing you all the very very best for the next few days
Onja- I am so sorry to hear your news ((hugs))
Starbright- I am sorry for your news too
Nix- hangin there hun ((hugs)) all these hormones suck huh?
Wishes- wow I can so understand you feeling frustated that 15 little eggies didnt make it. The ones that have so far sound like like they are doing great tho, so hang in there, wont be long and it will time again ((hugs)) just try to keep occupied mean while
melttc- hope your feeling better soon and that being sick doesnt set you back any. Dont ya just love how easy they reckon it is to fall pg? Geez if its that easy why are we going through all this?
AFM- I made dh call yesterday as I was at work (well he was too, but thats different) and I didnt want to have to deal with ppl walking in while I was on the phone to the clinic.
Anyways our two remaining embies never made it past day three :(
Makes me feel sad and also that maybe the little embie inside might not have made it that far either........trying to stay positive tho, it was further advanced than the other two. 1 week down now, one to go
Lise - Wow 15 kgs.... that's an impressive effort. I am hoping to loose about 5kgs which I have put on over the last few months while TTC. I know what you mean about missing exercise when you can do it. I got back on my bike for the first time since before my EPU. It was a perfect spring morning for a ride. :goodluck: with your trigger and EPU.
Wishes - I am sorry to hear that you lost half your eggs.. I have heard it is pretty standard to loose about half regardless of how many you get so I wouldn't worry to much about the quality on the other half. Of our 10 only 4 made it as the rest were too immature and didn't develop properly. Having 15 at this stage is still a fantastic result. :crossfingers: you don't loose too many more.
MotherhoodhereIcome - love the positive attitude and fantastic to see you looking forward. :crossfingers: that your FS will be able to get things moving quicker from the lessons learned this cycle. GL with your acupuncture tomorrow.
Onja and Starbright - I hope you are both felling a bit better and your DH's are taking wonderful care of you.
Melttc - I hope you are feeling better soon. I haven't told anyone at work I am undergoing IVF. It is pretty flexible and no one questions me when I say I have an appointment or take a personal day for EPU. I am thinking about taking longer of next time so may consider telling my immediate supervisor but as you say it's a tough decision to make.
Tracy - so sorry to hear that your little embie's didn't make it to the freeze. FX that this little embie will be a keeper and you won't be needing them anyway. All the best for the rest of your TWW.
Nix - I think the first IVF wait is the hardest because we have so many built up expectations that IVF will finally answer our dreams and provide that elusive BFP. I felt a lot more stressed when I had my first IUI and then first IVF. A number of girls I was cycling with last month got a BFP on their first IVF and I truly hope that you do too. Not long to go now :goodluck:.
Loops - Hope you are feeling better. Thanks for the advice I will have to give the MB another go. I had just presumed that I was in the small % of women who it didn't work for. :goodluck: with your FS appointment on Thursday.
AFM - I saw my new acupuncturist for the first time yesterday. She specialise in fertility and sounds really positive. She would like me to take some Chinese herbs in my upcoming FET TWW. I said I would think about it and want to check with my FS first. Has anyone else tried dried Chinese medicine herbs? I tried liquid herbs from a Naturopath one. They were a vile dark brown cough mixture type thing... yuk!
I am sorry if I have missed anyone, a big hello and all the best to the ladies nearing the end of their TWW. :pink-babydust::stickyvibesboy:
Mitf
xo
Hi girls
Need to vent (and not even about my little embies).
Ok, so I basically think that I am THE most jinxed person to ever live. A really good girlfriend called me tonight to tell me that she's just fallen pregnant (she's only about 5 weeks). While I had to put on my most happy voice for her, inside, my heart sank. She is just another person on a VERY LONG list of people in my life that have fallen pregnant first or second go (she only went off the pill last month, and is pregnant first go). Oh, and did I mention that I also know ALL the people who have fallen pregnant accidentally as well. Like I said, I'm jinxed (or cursed - I don't know which one).
I mean, come on!!! This is seriously beyond a joke now. She was literally one of my last close girlfriends who wasn't pregnant, but now she is. I know I shouldn't feel like this, but it feels like a competition for me....to make sure I get pregnant before anyone else of my friends does, otherwise I'm just gonna have to go through this heartache over and over each time someone else falls pregnant. Although I don't really have much else to worry about, because that would be all of my friends who are pregnant now (although, they'll probably all start trying for their #2 babies now).
Another girlfriend who announced her pregnancy in July, wasn't even engaged when we started TTC (she only got married in March, and was pregnant by May).
I'm pretty down in the dumps tonight and wondering when is it going to be my turn??? Why is falling pregnant so hard for me, but is so UNBELIEVABLY easy for every other person that I know. It's just not fair!!
Sorry girls, no personals. Too sad tonight.
Wishes xoxo
Hi Ladies,
Wishes, I just wanted to jump on and give you a big :hug: I know how it feels. At one point I had 14 (fourteen!) friends and workmates who were expecting (there was a baby boom last year, I swear). Many of them were accidental pregnancies. I get really sad when I think of one of my work colleagues - she announced her first pregnancy in the same month we started TTC. She's since given birth to two children. How can it be that she's had two children in the time we've been trying for one?!
Remember, if you buy a red car, all you notice around you is every other red car on the street - and suddenly there seems to be hundreds of them. The same applies for babies and pregnancies. I swear some pregnant women choose to go shopping when I do because they want to shove my face in my infertility. And they all seem so bl**dy smug about it.
I found a book called Invitro Fertility Goddess, which I really connected with - it's an Australian woman's journey through TTC. The other thing that has helped is to acknowledge how awful you feel when someone close to you falls pregnant so easily, even if to others those feelings might seem illogical. Be kind to yourself, and feel free to vent on here whenever you need to.
Big :hug: to you, and a big :grouphug: to everyone else. BBL for a proper catch-up.
Thanks Seph. I know that I'm not the only person out there who feels like this, and you've even been trying for way longer than we have so I really shouldn't be complaining at all. I just feel like the world is against me sometimes.
Hope it happens for both of us soon.
Wishes xoxo
Hey wishes huge hugs to you hun. I am sitting in the corner with you tonight, my sister rang tonight to tell me her daughter is pregnant, I burst into tears. I feel like the worst aunty in the world. She had apparently told everyone not to tell me, but felt she ought warn me so I could pretend to act all surprised and happy when my niece breaks the news
Tracy - so sorry to hear your news too. So far, it's only friends around me that are getting pregnant. I've not had anyone close to me in my family fall pregnant so far (other than sister-in-law). I couldn't even imagine how I'd feel if either of my sisters fell pregnant before me. In a way, luckily one sister is 8 yrs younger than me and isn't anywhere near close to wanting a baby. But my other sister is only 2 years younger than me. All she's ever wanted is to get married and have children. But she's not had much luck in the men department. I do actually hope that she finds someone soon though.
Your niece must be very young. I think your signature says you're only 34. Hope you manage to take her news ok.
This morning, I've now moved on from being sad, to being angry. I am just so angry that all my friends around me are able to fall pregnant naturally (and easily), but I can't. So I'm not in a very good mood at work today. Hope no-one decides to mess with me today, because they could be in for a rude shock.
I'm also supposed to find out my day 5 embryo results today.
Wishes xoxo
Wishes - I hear you sister :hug:. Many of my friends are now having their second babies and here I am still ttc our first. What I don't get is how easy it was for them to conceive. The typical response is "we got pg as soon as we stopped taking the pill" or "I was drunk when I conceived" or "I didn't watch my eating or drinking when we conceived" etc.
Interestingly, if there was a problem conceiving they are not prepared to share this with you. Two of my friends are pregnant and I know from other sources that it took them more than 6 months to conceive, however when you ask them they tell you they conceived immediately or we were not even trying. Yeah right!
At this stage I have only told a my immediate family and a close friend that we are undergoing IVF. If we are successful, and if people ask how long did it take to concieve I believe I will probably lie too :D
It sucks not being able to get pg! I have my first nurse visit today. I am not too sure how I will go. Part of me is so upset and angry that it has got to this point that we need assisted conception. I think if we don't succeed on the first attempt, I might hold off until the new year or until the next friend of mine announces their pg! arrgg!!!
Wishes - I feel you pain. It definitely does feels like a completion at times. I have many friends with babies or who are pregnant who I had thought I would have babies before. I have watched them get pregnant, have babies and too wondered when the hell is it going to be my turn. I am sorry that you had to find out about your girlfriend right now. This is the last thing you need to be thinking about at the moment. I found out on my last TWW that 2 of my good girlfriends are pregnant. I hadn't had any pregnancy news for a while and couldn't believe the timing of it. I was particularly upset as both of them also got engaged, married and now pregnant and while we are still on the TTC bandwagon. It added to the stress and expectations of my TWW. I hope you can push it from your mind and concentrate on you, your little embies and the BFP you deserve. I truly hope that this month is your turn! GL with the day 5 update today. Feel free to vent anytime and you certainly don't have to apologise for it.
Tracy - I hope you are doing ok too. My little sister started trying to conceive at the same time we did and got pregnant in her second month. She is now trying for number 2. I can't help but feeling it's not fair and wish I could have experience this first. I hope your turn isn't too far away.
Seph - thanks for the book details. I am going to go see if I can find it a lunch.
Mel - GL with your appointment today. I hope your first cycle is a success and you won't need to worry about taking a break.
hey Girls,
Wishes - I felt like crying just now reading your post hun. I SOOOOO know how you feel and it is just terrible. I am amazed you even foudn the words to write as it just blows me away when i think abotu that same thing! My biggest challenge - my DP's brother been with a girl 12 years younger than he (she is just a baby really) for around a year. they announce they are engaged about 4 months ago then announce they are having baby about 3 months ago. Interesting timing - not sure what came first. This was SOOOOO hard to deal with for me I can not tell you - and anyway - you know how it feels!
I actually went and got some counselling as I just knew I was not going to be able to deal with this by myself and in the time I needed as I think we were going to see them in about 2 weeks. Talking it thru with the counsellor helped a little - she did this rapid eye thing on me that helped me deal with it a bit better; basically its good to do for when you don't get to sleep well after hearing traumatic news and therefore don't process it the way you normally would (you know how everything seems a bit better by the morning) Well this rapid eye thing is like a sleepy state and so she makes you think of some stuff while following her finger back and forth and after about 8 goes it shifted a little for me. She said she could have done that or hypno. It still took me the rest of the week to be "OK with it" and although I am still disappointed that they got their first kind of thing, I have been able to accept it now.
It is so hard tho!
other news - just a quick one from me ladies as I am on my way out the door leaving work......
Thank you all so much for your lovely words of support over the past few days while I have been having a hard time - you are all so lovely and this really is a great place to be to get thru all this. I have BT tomorrow morning - not sure when I will pop in to let you know result but as you know I will know by tomorrow. :crossfingers: its all good. I hope you are all travelling well and be inspired as there has been BFP's happening in the 2WW - IT CAN HAPPEN & WILL HAPPEN to all of us I am sure!!!
Hi everyone,
I have been laying low and keeping a close eye on the thread. Sorry, but this will be a bit of a me post. Not much has been happening until today but things have now picked up. After 12 days on estrogen tablets in preparation for my first FET cycle, I had my BT & U/ today. After 4 attempts by 3 different people, it was decided that my lining was too thin - it was very unclear on the U/S. I now have to double my dose until Monday but was warned that it will make me nauseated. (This will only be short term)
We also spoke to the new embryologist who was great but who told us that of our 6 frozen (day two) embies, only 3 were of good quality and suggested that we defrost all and attempt to get them to blastocyst stage. Originally I thought that I would defrost all, transfer a good one at Day 3 then send rest to blastocyst.
Two hours later it was a different scenario, I was considering sending all to blastocyst and transferring 2 if they make it (however the thought of twins overwhelms me as far as the added risks in pregnancy)
Also, I was not aware that you can re-freeze the blasties if you end up with more than one, provided they make it.
Now after googling like crazy, I am just confused. That will teach me to google. What on earth did people do before the net? (Keep their sanity I suppose lol)
Anyway, sending you all sprinkles of baby dust and sticky vibes to all of you in the 2WW.
Sorry for the me post but I am feeling emotionally drained at the minute.
Hi girls - Day 5 update.....
Scientists have frozen only 2 blastocysts today. There were another 2 "early" blastocysts, as well as 5 morulas (which are basically a day behind, since you should get morulas on day 4). So the scientist said they will leave the 2 early blasties and 5 morulas until tomorrow and they will check them again then. Whichever ones make it to the right stage will then be frozen tomorrow. So who knows how many that will be (if any).
Quality-wise, of the 2 blasties frozen today, one was graded fair (3 out of 5) and was graded good to fair (4 out of 5). Will have to wait until tomorrow to find out quality of the other ones.
So all in all, results this time actually appear to be slightly worse than last time (last stim cycle we had 3 blasties good to go on day 5 - one was transferred and 2 were frozen). This time around, we only had 2 at the right stage on day 5. In future (and I really don't want to talk about this for the future, because I want a BFP very soon), but I absolutely do not want heaps of eggs at EPU. They've done me no good in the end, and I'll most likely end up with about the same number of day 5 embies as last time, when they only collected half the amount of eggs. I would much prefer less eggs but better quality.
Will keep you all posted on final results of how many get frozen.
Hope everyone is doing ok.
Wishes xoxo
Hi everyone, so many sad posts today....its good we have a place to share our sad thoughts and know that the ppl reading them understand!
Wishes: I hear you hun. Out of my 15 eggs collected it is dissappointing to only end up with 2 frozen blasties, i don't even know what grade mine are - i will have to ask at my next appointment.
Two is such a non-confident number.........what if neither defrost well, or what if both of mine are graded quite low.....i could have another stimulated cycle before the end of this year i guess - before the out of pocket expenses go up?
Hopefully it will only take one, the first one? But then i think whom am i to complain if my first transfer or stim cycle doesn't work? So many ppl have to do heaps more than that before they are successful.
Melttc: i've decided that im keeping whom i tell (about ivf) to quite a low number too atm. Selfishly I'm telling the ppl that i think it will be good for me, for them to know, ie. close fam - so i have there support, a few ppl at work - so i get support there too and then i have bellybelly. I've said to my family members who know that once i've reached the 2nd trimester (if that ever happens) that i don't care who knows about how hard it was for me to conceive or who knows that i conceived via ivf, because i will be so proud, so proud that i had to work so hard, for so long, for something that couldn't be more important in someones life, and i've learnt a lot from this journey already.
Starbright, Wishes, Tantee, Mel, Motherhood, Tracey, Nix.... EVERYONE :grouphug:
Yep basically think I sum it up for all of us when I say -
"Those biaaatches suck "
Wishes They can all go get drunk and 'fall' into their pregnancies.. like to see them produce 30 something eggs! I know in the end you didn't get a higher embie result but you know what - if nothing else it shows that your body is vrooooming to go and thats an AWESOME sign!
We ALL want this so much... and when OUR children ask how they came to be here.. we will ALL say with BLOOD, SWEAT TEARS AND A HELLUVA LOT OF LOVE!!
So let them have their stories of "mummy drunk too much champagne one night"
We are all on the warrior woman trail... I bet none of you knew yourselves, your bodies or your partners like you know them now!
I had my official result today :bfn: ... dusting myself off, wiping away the tears and saying
"bring it"
:dance: