Long Term TTC & Assisted Conception - Feb 2008 #2

Im fine, thanks ladies :-) Im well past the point where I actually believe we can fall pregnant naturally, so it doesn't hurt as much these days.

I have to go in tomorrow morning for Day 2 scan & BT. Gonal-F Injections Thursday to Saturday and then in for another scan next Wednesday. Should be ready for Egg Collection on the 18th, all going well.

This cycle I think they are going to give me a higher dose of gonal-f to make my follicles bigger for EPU. It was so painful last time because they were trying to get at 2mm follicles!

Hi Ladies

Bec - my thoughts are with you - good luck for your day 2 scan and BT tomorrow. I was on Puregon rather than Gonal F - 300iu per day and I only got 3 follicles around 2 and one egg - hope the higher dose makes those follies grow well :)

I am so proud of my DH giving me my Pregnyl injection - I do the Puregon ones myself - they don't bother me cos use a pen - just not so fussed on an actual syringe - for me who is a total needle-phobe I am improving every single day :redface:

Bec D :hugs: GL with the cycle hun :)
Kyles: GL Sweet with everything

Hugs to all and lots and lots of :bluedust: to every one

Had a great interview yesterday and all going well I will have an offer next week to manage my own recruitment office :) Yay Yay :happyforyou:

Me I can't wait to get away to Stanthorpe this weekend and have some quality time with DH

OMG - a few days out and man I am behind.

Meridith - congrats....great great news...

Sandi - piece of advice - DONT test after Pregnyl. It's nasty horrible stuff and will mess with your mind. Pregnyl will show false positives. You are injecting HGH which is the hormone that you produce when pregnant - and the hormone that shows up on the tests. It can stay in your system for around a week after last needle. Now that I have been thru it several times, I test from about 5 days after Pregnyl and there is a line...then I test daily. If the line gets lighter - you know it was that nasty nasty stuff and if it gets darker...well I sincerely hope it does for you sweet....

Saph - best of luck with your follie...may he/she be the one!!

Kyles - best of luck on the TWW...it usually does my head in.

Bec - hope those follies develop well and u have a successful EPU

Tiggerlinda - great news. congrats. but pleeeeeeese dont let the new job stress you out...

Me - big changes ahead. Started with a new doc who is running several tests. Had a BT Monday and they took...wait for it...13...yes 13 vials of blood. I couldnt believe it. Then 13 March another specific blood test where his own scientist tests for special K cells - something new he is workingon. Then March 17 a hysteroscopy to check for scarring after my huge fibroid op in June 06. He's not making promises - but feeling good because at least now I am being pro-active. Am so sick of being passive and having the exact same thing every single month without results.

Have a great day everyone..!!!!

Minnie - Thanks I promise I won't it will be good beacuse I get to do it my own way and build my own team. They have faith in me which is great :)

Wow alot happening for you too :)

BecD - just a quick question for you if you get a canceled IVF cycle due to any reason do you get your money back or just the regular Medicare rebate?
It's a question I have been meaning to ask the clinic but always forget!

Sandi - Cancelled cycles depend on your clinic and where you get to in the cycle

Hi All
How are we all today?
TL - hope your arm is feeling slightly better now & you have had a positive response from your interview.
Sandi - TL is right, refund of monies depends on where you are at in the cycle and your clinic. On one of my cancelled cycles, I received a big chunk of my money straight back as the cycle was cancelled prior to Day 9.
MM - glad to hear you are happy with progress being made with your new FS. I am currently considering whether to stick with my FS & start new cycle (tommorrow?) or cancel and change FS. Am tossing up whether its better the devil you know or not.....
Kyles - GL with everything
BecD - GL for this cycle, here's hoping everything goes well and you are in for EPU on 18th as planned.
Well, I am confused as to whether to go through with this cycle (feeling very anxious and stressed already & I haven't even started yet) with this FS or whether to see a new FS. I think I am mostly worried because every single cycle seems to send my FS into confusion about why I'm reacting the way I am (usually way under par or way over!). I only have a few hours to decide as if I cancel, I would prefer to do it today rather than tommorrow (when my appointment is scheduled for).
Anyway, I'm sure the answer will come to me somehow. Take care girls & we'll speak soon.

Peta - it's a tough call..but I am now kicking myself that I didnt do it earlier. My old FS was very nice and accommodating etc. The thing is, I was having transfer after transfer (and I am doing it every month - like a marathon) and asked her every single time it failed...is there anything else we can be doing/trying. Then I see this guy who I have heard a lot about (same clinic) and wham bam - he wants to at least do all this testing. No promises I know - but makes me feel so much more pro-active.
It's not an easy decision I know. I guess you need to go with your gut or...like I did 'google' ivf asprin, prednisone etc and see there are lots of new things different people are trying. Hey at my age - if I cant be an experiment..who can??
Good luck sweetheart..

TL - Well done on the job interview, fingers crossed you get the phone call soon!

Sandi - I didn't have to pay anything for my cancelled cycle, they just bulkbilled Medicare directly for their portion and didnt charge me for anything thank goodness!! We got to just before EPU.

My scan went well, antral follicle count was around 30 which is good.
Had to do my BT at Western Diagnostics because they have taken out the bed in the nurses station where they usually do the bloodwork. I am such a wuss, I cant do BTs sitting up :D

Got a phone call from the nurses this afternoon, I will still be doing 150iu but for 5 days this time.
Also my FS is going to be away for my EPU which means a different FS (Dr Aitken) will be doing my egg collection. It's kind of knocked the wind out of my sails a bit, a big part of the reason why we are doing IVM is the continuity of care - only dealing with Doreen & Steve. Now somebody else is going to be involved, and in particular someone who doesn?t have anywhere near as much experience in IVM retrieval. We are still going ahead with it, just need to get my head around it.

Hi Again - wow twice in one day, Amazing!
BecD - what a bugger your specialist won't be there for EPU. The FS always has your best interest at heart though, so I am sure he would have picked the best "fill-in" for the job.
Well - I did it! I cancelled my appointment for IVF#3 with my existing FS & have made an appointment to meet with a new one on Monday afternoon. How speedy is that?! I really didn't think I would get back in that soon. So at the moment I am feeling much relief at changing clinics & excited at a new point of view.
Have a great night girls & I will speak to you all tommorrow.

Hello ladies,

I hope you dont mind me joining this thread. As my signature shows, DH and i have been TTC for some time now. We did have a break from Aug-Jan and are now onto the next step which is either IUI or IVF with a new FS - IVF Australia.

I find out tomorrow which road we are taking as DH had to drop in a "sample" yesterday to double check his little men as the test that was done a year ago with our other FS showed that there was only 5% good morphology and mobility sperm. He said they like that number to be approx 15% so if it comes back bad again then he may send us straight down the IVF path. Either way im very excited and cant wait to get this party started!

I look forward to catching up with all you ladies regularly in here and hopefully we all move on from this thread and into belly buddies soon.

Good luck to all!

Way to go Peta....like they say...change is good..

Welcome Paula,
Like your DH, my DH and I have been ttc for 5 years, just before we got married.
Dh has got 9% good morphology but he has good motility.
I have one blocked tube and very mild PCOS, I say mild cause I still ovulate regularly.
I have been sent down the road of IVF / ICSI.
This one being my first one and I find out results tomorrow.
Although it's very scary, it's also very exciting like you said.
I hope your journey isn't a long one and hope you get success very soon whatever the road lays ahead.
keep posting!
:stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy:

Paula - I love that signature! I may just have to write that one down hu hu

Hi sandi

Thanks for sharing your story. Good luck tomorrow.

I had a HSG done last year and everthing was perfect so its just the PCOS (not ovulating) and DH sperm morphology/motility now... Find out tomorrow. Cant wait!

Paula welcome to our little group.You will find that we give each other lots of support here. Hope all goes well tomorrow.

Sandi hope all goes well with your results tomorrow. Hoping for a BFP.

BecD i have been meaning to ask you for a while what is IVM?

Peta good on you for making the change. I am considering a change if this cycle doesn't work. But i dont want to leave my FS. It is the time it takes to get to the clinic.

Well all is well with me a little uncomfortable throbing aching ovaries but what do i expect after 23 days of puregon.Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow.

Good morning all!

Meredith - Congratulations :dance: Your HCG is fantastic! Do understand your worries though, look after yourself and that precious bundle!

plc1805 - Thanks anyway! I hate this part of the cycle, it drags on forever!

Sandi - We've been ttc #2 just over 3 years, DS took us nearly 3yrs to conceive also, I have PCOS and Endo and DH has MF, so we got the double whammy! I've also lost 4 babies, so forever blessed that we have DS, and this will be our last ever FUll Stim so hoping 3rd time lucky :) I'm glad you like your clinic, it always help that the environment you are in going through this is one you are happy with. I love my FS, he's been my Gyno forever and my FS for over 6 years and we have a great relationship. I don't blame you on the hpt - I do them too! How are things going today??? Pineapple/juice is best taken up until the time you ovulate but not after, it supposedly helps to thicken the lining, not sure about after transfer, lots of water and not doing anything too strenuous.

Peta - Do you get the labour day long weekend we have coming up here also?? Congrats on the new FS, hope the appointment goes well and a change will also work for you too! Great that you could get in so quickly too!

Saph24 - Good luck for Friday's scan! It's all looking good so far!

Kyles - Fantastic news!! Good luck and thinking of you on your 2WW :)

BecD - I'm so sorry :( How does your cycle work??? It's sounds like a down reg without the Pill...sorry, don't know anyone doing IVM. Sorry your FS won't be there either, I am really superstitious about that sort of thing...

Linda - Congrats on the great interview! Fingers crossed for you!

Lulu - Sounds like things are moving ahead in the right direction! Good luck with the new Dr and all the tests! Hopefully the change will make the difference!

Hi Paula and welcome! We also have MF issues - DH's Morphology came back at 98% abnormal and his motility was 7% and there was no hesitation in doing IVF with ICSI. Good luck for whichever road you need to go down, and hope things start moving quickly for you!

Gosh that was a long post! Still plodding along on the pill here, my skin resembles that of a pimply faced teenager - I hate it!! Just over a week until I start Synarel, then I'll feel like we are getting somewhere!

Welcome Paula :)

Peta - They say that a change is as good as a holiday! It's so important to be happy with your specialist.

Saph/*las* - IVM is In Vitro Maturation. Instead of having synarel/gonal-f to grow your follicles to full size, they do EPU when the follicles are small (Lead follicle around 8mm instead of fully grown at 20mm). They can then mature the eggs which takes an extra day, and then they fertilise and harvest them as per IVF.

It is mainly used in PCOS cases who have a high antral follicle count, and who would be at a high risk of OHSS. It is classified as an innovative program and so far I think our clinic is the only one in Australia doing it.

The benefits are that there are less drugs, shorter treatment time (My EPU is only a week or two away), cheaper to do, and no risk of OHSS or cancelled cycle.
The down side is that the success rate is less (50% IVF - 25% IVM) and egg collection is really difficult and PAINFUL!

Good afternoon all,

Well i am very excited today. Dh received the phone call advising him that his little men are "perfect" whatever that is meant to mean. I asked him what else they said and he said that they told him we are right to go ahead! And i asked Dh what exactly do they mean? Being a typical male he didnt ask any questions! I had asked them to call me with the results anyway so i was frustrated at that but can you believe they said they couldnt disclose his results to me?! WTF im his wife! Im going through this process with him! Bloody privacy laws! Well i gave them a call myself and i asked them what perfect meant and how the percentages compared to last time and she said she couldnt say much else but that they are all good and that we are right to go ahead with the FSH/IUI.

So i will be starting my provera tomorrow for 5 days and hopefully AF shows up soon so i can start making my appointments etc. All very exciting for me as its my first time being completely monitored and first time that i am feeling very positive and really feeling like we are finally getting somewhere.

I will be in here lots soon.. I will be asking lots of questions so i hope you ladies dont get sick of me. haha

Peta - Good on you I am sure you will feel more empowered by the change
Paula: Welcome and Gl with the round ask away with all the questions
las: Pill side effects are fun but they do take you back :)

Me:
Work have really insulted me see the blog for more detail will be leaving now because they have put me on a 30 day trial and say that my work is jibberish. I have never been so insulted in my life! Considering I am a skilled recuiter and business coach that is being headhunted it is funny to think that I may be sacked from what was meant to be a less stressful BDM role.

Ohh well lap soon with a week off hopefully I can start new role after that. And DH and I will have a romantic weekend this weekend to get over it :dance:

Linda,
I am so sorry about work as if we dont have enough stress in our lives without work making it worse. hope your romantic weekend away is just what you need to relax.

Well am positive that after the scan tomorrow will get the go ahead to trigger.So hears hoping for a romantic weekend for us. It makes it all so mechanical. But thats life. TMI i am sure.

Really should be cleaning the house, finding an excuse to get out of it. :hiding:

Hi All,

Well I'm officially into my next cycle now. Started my list of drugs again on Tues and have my US scheduled for 17th March. Feeling ok but just a nasty headache which I get from the HRT tabs and this month I think it is being made worse by the oestrogen patch I am wearing too.

A little bit nervous though about the prospect of facing a cancelled cycle. We only have 2 little embies left frozen and last cycle it took 4 embies to be thawed to get our 1 little 1 succesfully to balstie. Fingers crossed though, because with the emotional rollercoaster of last cycle I really couldn't face a cancelled cycle. I'm staying really positive and trying not to let my emotions overcome me. Was so happy when I received the phone call that my HCG ws below 3 and I could start again.

Sorry for no personals. I'm away for work at the moment and it's almost midnight. Just thought I'd pop in and read where everyone is up to.

Sending you all a big hug
Take care
Bel:asleep:

Hello everyone,
Just letting you all know I got a BFN today.
Oh well I had my cries and all that stuff but now I'm just gald that I can do i8t all again in April, We still have 3 frozen embies so hopefully I can get one to implant.
I have a 21 day app booked with my gyno/ FS on the 28th of march so looking fowrad to that and with this one at least I now know what other things I can do to maybe help the embie stick.
I will abide by every rule and more for the next one!!
Practice make perfect right :)
Anyway I will keep posting and seeing how you all are doing thanks for being there for my first ever cycle.

Hi everyone

Sandi - I am so sorry - I have been patiently waiting for the last hour or so to find our your BT result - keep your chin up and best of luck for your next appt on the
28th :pray:

Bel - glad to hear that your levels have gone down enough for you to start on another cycle - stay positive and I wish for the best thawed embies for you :)

Me - just another day waiting and relaxing in the TWW - I still have 11 days to go

So sorry to hear about your news Sandi. Best of luck with your next cycle. And as you said practice makes perfect.:)

Linda - I'm so sorry about work, what a crappy thing to say to somone....hope the next job proves to be a lot better, enjoy your time away!

Bec - thanks for the explanation! Sounds a bit nasty having to go to pick up so early in the peace :( I've heard of IVM but never known anyone doing it, there sure seem to be some benefits in regards to much shorter cycle time.

Sandi - sorry for your result today...

Bel - good luck for this cycle, it's exciting to get that good news to start moving forward again!

Kyles - hope the next 11 days fly by for you :)

Sandi :hug: sorry about the BFN
Kyles: Hoping that the next 11 days bring by a BFP
Bel: I have everything crossed for you for this cycle
Saph: I hope the house cleaning is not too boring we hired a house cleaner because I escaped it with work etc :p

Well another interview tommorrow

Paula - That's fantastic news about hubbies swimmers - good luck with iui!

Sandi - Sorry to hear your result hon, BFNs are really hard (((HUGS)))

TL - Thats crap about the job! My work has gone to sh*t as well lately, am working back until 7pm tonight just so Im not that far behind. Grrrr at crappy employers! Have fun on your romantic weekend away - sounds perfect :)

Bel - Good luck with the new cycle. Hopefully you feel a little better soon, I find that HRT knocks me around too. I will keep everything crossed for you.

salt princess - I was just thinking, is your FS at FSWA Mike Aitken? For some reason I thought he might be... He will be doing my EPU but I haven't met him before. What's he like?

Hi Girls
I was wondering if anyone could offer me some advice. I'm 25 and have PCOS apparently but no raised hormone levels, without drugs i only cycle maybe once a year. My fiancee is 31 and has poor sperm function < 3 million of which 65% are deformed and we have been trying to get pregnant for nearly 2 years. When i went to Pivet they pretty much gave us no choice but full IVF. My fiancee has got someone pregnant so i dont know if i should see just a fertility specialist first to maybe see if clomid helps. Would love people to talk to about these things as no one i know really understands.

Thanks
Bee83

Bee - I would suggest a 2nd opinon if you are no comfortable but it sounds like they are offering you the option that would be most effective :hug: this must be a difficult time

Morning Ladies...

Are we all happy it's Friday..???? I sooo am..

Sandi - I am so sorry about your BFN...Believe me when I say most of us here know how you feel...

Linda - I can't believe your work situation. One minute they are promoting you and telling you that you're a star and the next minute this?? I think you will be better off out of there asap...I know you'll fall on your clever feet pretty quick smart..Goodluck with it.

Bee - I second Linda and say go for a 2nd opinion so your are satisfied. Ask as many questions as you need to. Make a list before you go - because if you're anything like me...you forget half of them when you are in there..Goodluck.

Paula - I am sure the DH is a happy little vegemite. These men make me laugh...how their little swimmers perform is always sooooo important to them.

Kyles - hope you're coping ok in the TWW. I am usually fine for the first week but by day 8 start climbing the walls..I hope you stay more relaxed then i do..

Saph - OMG I was just reading the last batch of posts and didnt realise you were on Puregon for 23 days!!!! YUK!!! you poor thing. I think I have it bad when I am usually on for around 14 days...:pray: everything goes well for you and you trigger today...Goodluck sweet..

Bel - my little saviour....fingers crossed the headaches are worth it all!!!!

Me - nothing exciting...just killing time over the next 3 weeks while I have all these tests.

Have a great weekend chick-a-dees...

Hi Bee, I too have PCOS with no raised Male hormones. I tried Clomid for 3 cycles and it did not even make me ovulate. I am now on OI which involves taking Puregon (injectable FSH) at the beginning of my cycle, Purgeon 5000iu as the LH surge to make me ovulate and then some booster shots of Puregon 1500iu after ovulation. Good news is that it has been making me ovulate regularly. Bad news is that as of yet I have not fallen pregnant (although will know tomorrow if this cycle has worked or not).

My FS is certainly of the opinion for us that we should give this a try before moving to IVF. However, I would think that the Doc's would know your full medical situation and would advise you based on that. There may be something that is different in your situation to mine. But, it is always valuable to ask for a second opinion if you are unsure.

Bee - Definately get another opinion. When it doesnt feel right, you should follow your gut instinct. I have been to two FS now and both had different opinons. Good luck with your journey and i hope it all works out for you soon.

Lulu - Yes men are very funny when it comes to their little men. My DH must have been so happy to hear that all was good with them that he didnt even think to ask anymore questions... Silly duffer!

Janie - Good luck with your results tomorrow.

Well DH and i had a good chat last night about the results and what the next few weeks involves for us and we are very excited! We know that there is always the posibility that it may not work first time but to be honest we arent even thinking about that. We are feeling so positive that it will happen and soon that we feel like doing a little dance with excitement :dance: Hopefully all the positive vibes bring positive things our way.

Well i too am extremely glad its FRIDAY:D Bring on the weekend!

:hug:I'm so sorry Sandi.. Good luck with your next cycle.. I'll have everything crossed for you...

Dee

WOW! got loads to catch-up on..... sorry been a bit busy last couple of days.... you know there is no way I'd be able to cover everything and everyone but know that for each of you out there I have the warmest regard and I only ever equally wish you the best of everything to arrive at your most desired end - a bubba in your arms!!
TL - hope your arm is better (:() and that your work situation improves - sorry was it the old or new job that were the unappreciative turds? I think it's your old one - just as well you're moving on! I wanted to let you know that the Spirit Babies book arrived the other day and will start reading it shortly - gives me something to do while I am in this horrible holding pattern.
Paula - welcome welcome - I know I am going to be hopelessly confused in this thread cos I am a Paula too and as our name is not so common the only time I usually see it is when it relates to me. Oh well! It will draw me straight away to your posts so that I can follow your journey :)
saph - GL hun - mechanical or romantic - as long as there is love between you and a common wish for a bub - doesn't matter how you get there :)
bel, kyles, salt P - :crossfingers::crossfingers:
sandi - so so sorry hun re AF - here's to better luck next time - it's just got to happen!!!
bee - hi hun - can't help u directly but wishing you all the best :hug:
minnie lulu - ye olde waiting game - sigh!! I know it's a drag but at least you've got some proactive things being done in the meantime. You have a good weekend too!!
becD, janie71, las, BB, pookie, scooby, Peta and anyone else I am sure to have missed (sorry!!) - hi and hugs!

me - in a nut shell - I am just waiting!!! GRR the waiting! Eastern medicine-wise - Waiting for my acupuncturist to say my kidney energy channels are unblocked so that we can TTC. Western medicine-wise - waiting for my ob appt (post lap surgery) in mid April to get the go-ahead to start TTC (after he initially told me just to wait til AF arrived!) - I seriously don't know if he is being over-cautious or if this is standard procedure. So I'm waiting.... I know I'm not in the league of where most of you ladies are at with IVF, various treatments etc etc (who knows may be there sometime soon?) but I so understand the frustration from a time perspective and forever having to do the WAITING! WAITING!
Take care of yourselves ladies - and enjoy your Friday and weekend! :)

Well hi;

So excited got the call to trigger today:dance:. Knew i would as the follicle was at 19mm. Think DH is more excited then me. So now i join all those in the dreaded TWW but i am over the moon at not having to go to the clinic for scans ( lets hope ever again) It took me two hours to get to the clinic today the traffic was so bad with the storms, only just made it in time for the cut off time.

Bee - if you are not comfortable with the FS suggested course of treatment then get a second opinion. See in my case both my husband and i are against IVF and will not be going down that avenue if suggested. So if our FS had not suggested less invasive course of action we would not have begun treatment. Clomid often doesn't work for PCOS, i had one cycle then straight to puregon. It may be more your DH problem that has caused them to suggest IVF. What you need to do is ask questions so you are fully informed.

Sandi - sorry about the results keep you chin up.

Minnie - well i ended up with 25 days of puregon i look like i have some hideous disease that causes you to turn yellow with red spots.

Tigger - hope the interview went well. I dont know why i bother with cleaning it only takes five minutes for it to be a mess again.

Well hoping everyone has a great weekend.

Thanks to you all for your reassuring words... I will never give up!
I'm looking forward to the next time.
Good luck everyone :goodluck::thumbsup:
I will be checking in to see how you all are going hope there are some BFP's SOON!

Hi Girls,
Thanks for the advice everyone, the first doctor said OI but changed to ICSI once they got DH's results. I guess the hard thing for me is i work in the IVF and ultrasound field in fact i may have even scanned some people here from Perth, i see everything about IVF the ups, downs and sometimes too much knowledge is a bad thing. We will probably try IVF when we get back from our honeymoon at the end of April...i'm just so nervous.

As for all those girls trying i send you my love and best wishes. If anyone has any technical questions i would be happy to answer them to the best of my ability.

Bee:redface:

Hi fellow LTTTCers

This is my first post on here, although I have been reading for a long time! I'm not sure exactly how it works but I thought this thread seemed relevant and I finally feel the need to "talk" to others who may understand.

My husband and I have been TTC since July 2006, and miraculously got pregnant on the third go. However I miscarried at 6 weeks, I guess they call that a chemical pregnancy.

Since then we have tried faithfully with naturopaths, good diet, supplements and doing all the tests including sperm and lap/hyst/dye studies - all normal. Then chlomid - nothing. After a year we decided it was time to move on to IVF (I never thought that would be me!). We were meant to start in January 2008 but my father sadly passed away on Dec 30th...I was devastated. We then started in February, and 2 weeks later my grandmother (mothers side) passed away. More sadness, but we continued with our stim cycle.

Things seemed to be going well and last Wednesday they collected 19 eggs. By the next day however we found out the news that only 1 had fertilized - 10 were immature, and the other 9 "failed to bind". Our transfer date was brought forward and we were getting ready to go in on Friday when we got a call - our 1 embryo was not suitable to transfer.

We were lucky enought to speak with the embryologist who explained everything - our 1 fertilised egg was not developing normally. Despite the shock and sadness, I'm glad we were saved a pointless 2ww.

It seems our other 9 eggs and sperm didn't like each other, or couldn't communicate. It seems strange that sometimes science cannot give a more technical answer! Although the embryologist gave us a great deal of information and encouraged our questions, I still find myself wondering why our eggs and sperm don't seem to get on?? We were a case of unexplained infertility, I guess now we have found our explanation. And our "cure" (hopefully) - ICSI.

I'd love to here any comments or feedback about our situation. Its hard not to wonder if we are not "meant" to have babies and is ICSI forcing the fact. It doesn't mean I won't do it - I'm not ready to give up yet - I just have to comes to terms with our new situation.

Thanks for reading....

xo

Me 36
Husband 33