LT TTC after Miscarriage or Loss #5

possum - I am glad you decided not to put TTC off for work reasons. I will admit that I am secretly irritated by people who put away TTC for things like work and lack of money. OK, I understand if you are really struggling finanically but otherwise... I just know how hard it is later in life to have a child and I always think they will regret. This month may be out, but not necessarily, you start getting EWCM 2-3 days before O, and the pains can be before, during or after. So you still might have been on time.

Matthew's Mum - thanks for thinking of me. What is the next step for you? Are you planning another IVF?

India's Mum - I am sadly still following in your footsteps :-( Did you have any tests done after your mc? I just assumed after the first 2 that it must be chromosomal abnormalities in the embryo, but I am wondering now...

Alice - fingers crossed....

AFM - my hcg level was 192, and for 5+ weeks it should be in the thousands, so it just pretty much confirmed what I already knew. Strangely, I am not utterly devastated like last time. Maybe because it happened so early, and maybe because DH said he wants to try again. So I feel like I am a part of a good team here, and maybe we will win next time, I already got a fresh batch of OPK...

morning everyone, luna-good luck this cycle,i've still got 2 embies in the freezer ,i'm thinking maybe my dec cycle,i'll try another fet ,at the moment trying some natural therapies,accupuncturist said the other day if she can't help getting pregnant naturally,she'll try to help with the next ivf transfer....possummagic-i think your still in with a good chance....intheslowlane-thinking of you,hope your time off is soothing for you & your family...alice-how are you this morning,sleeping a bit better?..

Hi Lovlies,

Mathew'smum - I hope the things you are doing make for a successful FT in December.

Luna - I'm so sorry you little bub did not stay. I think you are righ it easier when it is earlier but in some very sad way I think we actually get better at handeling m/c huge hugs to you babe :hug: I am so glad you are being so positive about trying again and that DH is 100% behind it too he sounds lovely.

Crafty - Anything? AF? No AF? I have everything crossed for you hun.

Possum Magic - I think it is great that you have decided to continue TTC despite the new job, life's too short, go for it :p

Intheslowlane - I hope the break till the new year gives you lots of rest and relaxation and that the New Year brings new hope and a BFP.

Alice - How are you feeling sweetie? We will not get sick of you posting we are all waiting with baited breath. I hope the symptoms are carrying on and not messing with your head too much. Thank you for your loving support and kind words after my BFN. I was a bit of a mess but I'm doing better now.

Ferrals - How are you holding up babe. I read about DH not wanting to do another test. It's such a tough road. I really hope the genetisit can give you some clear answers when you talk.

AFM - Thank you all for your support the other day, I was rather a mess. You really are an amazing group of women and I would be completely lost on this journey without you :grouphug:. I am feeling much better now and I am focussed on the fact that I do not know what the future holds and that if there is a bub out there for me it may stil happen in the future with someone else. I am now torn between two decisions. Do I realisticly look at me and Donor daddy's history and admit we are probably not well matched genetically and just use our snow bubs and hope for the best, or do I go for one more stim. cycle knowing I could well be just throwing good money after bad and prolonging the inevitable? I have booked to see FS on the 18th and will ask his opinion but I'd also like to hear your thoughts.

Luna - Because of my age I kept getting told that was the obvious reasoning for my miscarriages and no testing was done other than normal blood tests. This time I insisted on seeing an FS and he sent me for a lot of tests. I know the scan didn't show anything but I am still waiting to hear the results of the blood tests. That was supposed to be 10 days ago but they cancelled my appointment and he then had a week off so I don't find out until tomorrow. I have also been annoyed by a few people at work who are putting of having kids. One in particular is in a long term committed relationship but loves to travel. She insists that 36 is still young and she has plenty of time to have her family. I don't work with her anymore otherwise I might have throttled her by now.

God, I feel like I've missed a month of posts! Between work and socialising I've had a busy weekend, so now to catch up...

Sunbeam- so, so, sorry for your bfn, I know you have been through the gamut of emotions over the last few days. :hug: As for your question, I really would have to agree with you that maybe you and donor daddy aren't gentically matched well ( I don't know the emotional connection you have to him so sorry if it is hard for you to hear this I mean it in the nicest way), it would be interesting to hear what the FS says though. How many snowbubs do you have? It would be a pain to have to do a whole stim cycle again.

India'smum- I tell everyone about miscarriage too, I don't believe in hiding it and I've found people are very kind. How is your dog?

Matthewsmum- sorry for your bfn, hope the acupuncture will sort things out

Luna- so sorry about your loss, I'm glad you are feeling so positive xx

Possummagic- woohoo, just get going with the TTC, forget work etc, I think you may have just made it Friday night so are still in with a chance- hope so anyway!

Intheslowlane- you need to do what you feel right with, lots of love x

Alice- how are the boobies going? Veeerry interesting!

Crafty- any AF yet? Hope not!

Hi everyone else!

AFM- nothing exciting to report here, just went out for tea last night with a group of girls who spent most of the night talking about their kids, it was fine but I felt a bit flat by the end of the night, I'm proud of myself for getting through it well though!

Saffy - thanks for asking about Georgie. She seems really good. I have to take her back to the vet tomorrow morning and see if we can find out more about the tumour. I suspect she will be around a little bit longer but I am not getting my hopes up to much that it will be any more than a few weeks.

AFM - I went out with my 3 sisters for dinner. We are trying to get together, just the four of us, every couple of months. They all have teenagers or young adults (the oldest is 23) so the chat about kids is very different to the kind of chat I have about DD. Honestly, sometimes it's like listening to horror stories. Teenagers don't sound like a lot of fun.

hello everyone,

I started two posts today (well, yesterday now!) and both times didn't finish so third time lucky!

Luna, I'm so sorry to see you back here :( and very sad to read about your loss. I hope things work out for you soon, sounds like you and your DH have a great relationship. I have never hidden the fact that I had a mc and I have found most people to be very understanding but I do share your frustration with the thoughtless comments people make and how hurtful it can be when they have no idea of your experiences. There isn't much we can do about that sadly but at least we all understand and can support each other. x

Sunbeam, I'm so glad you are feeling better and I hope you don't have to go through that again. I'm so glad you've got the cruise to look forward to as I think some sunshine and relaxation will be just the thing :hug: x As for donor daddy, well that's a hard one. Is there a reason you have to do a stim cycle soon (financially?) or could it wait? I would go ahead with your frosties as really you just don't know whether one of them may be the one and you and dd obviously have a strong bond and a shared dream to be parents and there are lots of benefits inherent in that. If they don't work out then I guess maybe one of the conversations you could have with him might be around his willingness to be a father to a child with you regardless of whether he was biologically related. Can/would you consider donor sperm? i know there are a lot of issues with that too. I guess these are things to think about while you are away.

Saffy, did you start your injections??? Sounds like you had a busy social/work weekend. I can imagine all that baby/kid talk would make you feel flat. I find talking about my chickens is a good way of changing the conversation but strangely not everyone shares my enthusiasm for my little feathered babies, I wonder why?? :) I'm crossing everything for you for this cycle.

India'sMum, aren't you lucky having three sisters!! I'm the only girl in my family but lucky for me my DH has 7 sisters and I have 3 SIL so that has made up for it. Teenagers can be hard, no doubt about it (I used to teach high school so I know!!) but they are also great and I really loved watching my nieces and nephews and friends kids go through their teenage years despite all the challenging stuff. I guess it's a whole other thing when they are your teenagers though!

Possum, welcome back! We're such an irresistible group, aren't we? :) Glad you're up to trying again and I hope you don't have to wait too long...like two weeks would be good! I think you're in with a chance with that egg so you can go crazy with me now!

Intheslowlane, It's never easy to come to a decision like this but you know what is best for you and I hope things work out for you. All the best xx

MatthewsMum, sounds like the acupuncture is helping and good to have a break I think between transfers to get things as positive as they can be for you before trying again. Be wonderful for you to have a surprise naturally but if it isn't to be then I hope your Dec FET is a sticky babe for you x

Crafty, T-hopes, Ferrals, Mildez, Porsche, Toomanyshoes, Clairesmummy, hope you are all well. Sorry to miss anyone else, falling asleep at the keyboard now.

AFM, I. AM. GOING. CRAZY. I'm struggling, this has definitely been the hardest TWW I can remember. Saw the acupuncturist today - she is worried about the effect the bleeding had on lining and implantation. She also thinks I'm in a weaker position after the hospital ordeal physically and has told me to rest up. I felt a bit dejected most of the day. I'm trying to stay away from the computer because me and Dr Google have had an extended consultation on everything you can imagine...and then some. I am going to have a few days away to try settle myself - impossible, but worth trying. BBs are v. sore and I can't lay on my stomach. Left ovary is also v. sore and I often get that before AF so I have no idea. Anyway, I shouldn't be up past 1am, I should be in bed so see you in a few days, unless I crack. xx

:cry: Woke up this morning and bbs have gone down, ovaries are aching like crazy, don't feel like eating, had a restless night...all classic signs for me that AF is on her way. Feel v. sad this morning, sad that we can only dream about this, that it is something that happens to other people, not to us. Feel like every time we let ourselves hope, we are let down. We've done everything we possibly can and it's never good enough :crying: :crying:

Alice I really have no words to make this all right or better. I can't possible imagine the pain you must be feeling after all the years of trying and hoping for your baby. I wish I could help or had some words that would have anything helpful to them. Just know your in my thoughts and I am praying hard that you get your dream baby. In saying this its not over yet and I hope you have a huge shock in a few days with a sticky BFP.

alice-i'm sorry those nasty symptoms have turned up.Your body has been through a lot,so heres hoping they have something to do with that & not af.visualising giving you a big hug.is dh home?...hi everyone

oh no Alice, big hugs for you and sending sticky vibes by the dozen how many days post transfer are you?? I HOPE af isn't coming for you xxxxx
my computer is playing up I hope this posts,
hi everyone else

Alice - Oh babe I'm sorry you are feeling it has not worked. I can totoally sympathise with how you are feeling. I really wish I had lots of words of encouragement for you, but I am here for you and sending you big big hugs :hug::hug::hug:. It is not over yet, stupid symptoms are only there to mess with our heads. Your bt is not till friday, would you usually get AF signs this early?

Alice- I'm praying AF is a total no show for you darl, sending you lots of sticky vibes darl and huge cyber hugs. I have everything crossed for you hun.

To clarify about my question. If we use up our frozen embies this year then that is it for me and Donor daddy's attempts for a bub beacuse we cannot afford to do a stim. cycle after medicare resets in Jan and because he has had enough of trying. If we do a stim. cycle before Jan. we will be out of pocket $2000 wich is managable (after Jan. it would be over $5000). He is reluctant to put me through another cycle but I know he will if I want to do one more. I have never been prepared to use unknown donor sperm because I have always wanted my child to have and know thier biological father, I will be giving this some more thought but it has always been my stance and is why I spent 2 years looking for a known donor. I think I would be more likely to go looking for a new known donor. If we use up all our embies, fresh and frozen, and still no bub then I will be packing up and going to Vietnam to volunteer in an orphanage for at least a year. I guess I am leaning towards one more cycle because I would rather finish this knowing I gave it everything I had (even if I'm somewhat in debt but not totally broke) than to think down the track "I just wish we'd had one more try."

thanks everyone :hug: I guess it was always going to be a long shot so just have to accept it. I've been for a walk, it's a lovely misty day so always find that calming. Spent some time outside with the chooks and now I'm going to have a sleep. Life goes on - I can't be any sadder than I've been before so I just have to sit it out and find happiness in the good things I do have in my life - not easy though, as I know you all understand. And there is that little frostie to think about but right now just can't go there.

Saffy, I'm 12dpo. I will buy a HPT tomorrow when I'm in Sydney (can't get the ones you all mention at my local chemist - no surprise there, it's mostly for oldies) and will test Wed morning. It will be a week since the last pregnyl so should be out of my system by then (Dr Google says it decreases by half each day). Will let you know how I go then.

x

Opps I missed us getting a new thread, sorry if anything I say is outdated!

Sunbeam - Really sorry to hear about the BFN, I hope you’re feeling better :hug:

Luna - So sorry for your loss, it’s really hard to deal with the “oh, so are you going to have more” stuff from others who don’t realise what you’re going through, for once I wish I could say “well yeah we would love more, we’ve been trying for 3 years with countless m/c’s”, I’m pretty sure the topic would be changed quickly. I think you should divulge whatever information you feel comfortable with, loss and reproductive issues need to be less of a tabu subject.

possum - Thanks for the invite, I hate having to be here but it’s also good to talk to other who understand rather than my sister in laws who get pregnant just looking at a guy. Life IS too short to put TTC on hold if you’re ready for it, I’m kicking myself for not listening to my heart years ago after our DD was born and trying for another straight away, I just feel as though we would have had more success then.

Alice - :hug: Hope AF stays away! And lots of sticky vibes.

Sorry if I have missed anyone.

AFM - I’m at the end of my cycle, meant to test in a couple of days but I’m 99.9% sure it’s not going to happen this month! I’m super grumpy at DH, found out he wasn’t doing as well as he had me thinking at giving up smoking! I’ve asked time and time and time and bloody time again if he’s absolutely sure he wants another child and every time it’s yes! Yet he’s unwilling to do anything to help us conceive other than taking menevit. If this is his way of saying he doesn’t really want another I would rather he was honest with me and I can stop having my heart broken month after month! Or if he does want another than can he please understand that just because we have two children that maybe we need help to have a 3rd, it’s been 3 years of trying! The other two didn’t take anywhere near this long. I tested a few days ago, mainly because I can’t help myself of course it was BFN and I have zip symptoms, oh well *sigh*

Alice - I hope your walk and nap refresh your spirit a little. This is such a hard painful, heartbreaking road and IVF is by far the hardest part to my mind. I know you probably don't feel it right now but you are an amazingly strong woman. The fact that you have gone through this 5 times is testiment to that fact and as I've said before I am in awe of the strength you've had to do that. It's not fair, none of this is, if babies were handed out on a deserve basis we'd all have heaps and the stupid, drugo, abusive women would get none, but that's not how it works! I so hope there is an awesome suprise waiting for you in tomorrows test.

Toomanyshoes - I'm so sorry DH is not doing his utmost to help the situation. I'm led to believe its just a 'man' thing. I have had the same problem with Donor daddy. He does not smoke but he drinks too much (to my mind) and often does not take his menevit sometimes for weeks. He says how much he wants this for us and how hard it is to go through the miscarriages etc but really does not do all he can to get the out come "we" want! I can't help with any clear understanding of why they are like this but apparently we are not alone!

Hi everyone !

Today I am going to be a grandma 3pm uk time !

sorry no persies atm thinking of you all though!



will pop back later and let you know if its a he or a she !!!


By the way AF turned up sat evening so I am now on day 2 oh well onwards and upwards and I think I may be getting some clomid ! bit scarey but if I can get hold of some I will try it !!!:lol: