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Ok, so the cramping has come back with a vengance, constant non stop AF cramps, very painfull. Feel like I do just before AF visits.
Anyway, you are ll going to tell me off when I say, I POAS thsmorning 8dp4dt and got the result I knew deep down, I was expecting, BFN.
I googled, and found that 90% IVF'rs have their BFP by now 8dp, or 12dpO
MURRAYCOD! Nooooooo! Don't do it to yourself! The FS said it was way too early for you to POAS... please don't get down about it! That is most likely an inaccurate result! They don't call it a TWW for nothing hun!!
Hey Moonflower!!
I am finally on my TWW... To be honest - today was the best day of this whole journey.... They gave me a picture of my little embryo.. i saw it up on the video screen right before they were sucking it up into the little tube-y thing... then I got to see on the ultrasound when they put the little bean into my uterus... see, now that's cool... it's the best part... I am sure.. Sounds like I'm up for a challenge this next couple of weeks. I'll try not to overanylise anything... !!
The embryologist said that all of my Embryos (6) are coming along really well and are high grade. But the one they've inserted was particularly exceptional. Fx!!!!
I am a bit lost now... I don't know what to do... do I lay still? walk? move? jump? sit? Oh gosh... !
Anyway... wishing you guys a happy weekend and super :stickyvibes:
NO MORE POAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
L x
:dance: Woop woop! FGS is in da house! Well helloooo....! Lovely to see you here FGS. Please excuse me one moment while I yell at MC.
MURRAYCOD! JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?? Zair vil be no more peeing on zer stick! Ve hef vays of making you not pee on zer stick! :lol:
I'm really pleased for you FGS. Excellent news that your embies are doing so well. I love good news like that. :D You were saying you don't know what to do right now. Well, I think I may speak for MC as well as myself when I say you won't be running, jumping or any of those things. You will spend some good days and some not so good days and some yucky days. You will feel like you're going mad. You will get the desire to POAS before you're supposed to (yes, I'm looking at you MC ;) ) and you will get anxious and start searching the net for every scrap of information on what's happening to you / your body now. You will obsess about every niggle, pain, discomfort and then you will get worried when those same things disappear. Have I left anything out MC? ;)
And you know what FGS, we will be right here to help you through it. Us and loads of other ladies who've been here.
MC, how you doin' sweet thing? I really hope you're not down on yourself. So what if you succumbed to the urge to POAS? It's not like you're the first and you won't be the last. I'm concerned about how you're feeling. You sounded down because of the BFN. I really want you to forget about that test. It really is too early. I know that you know that. But if you're like me, sometimes it helps to hear it. Please let me know how you're doing and if there is anything you need that I can help with. Sweet thing, you've got less than a week now. We can do this! We can! And now FGS is here, we'll be able to buoy each other. :grouphug:
I hope you ladies have been having a wonderful weekend and that it continues to get better. Chat tomorrow.
Love
MF xx
:lol: Moonflower........;) Knew you'd tell me off!! But I couldn't help myself any longer. The AF pains are still constant, I am wearing a pad I'm that sure she will be here!!!!
Anyways, how are you feeling?? At the beginning of this cycle Moonflower, I was the one chirping you up, now it's the opposite!!!!
See FGS, told you I'd be as mad as a hatter by the time you got here :D
What will be will be, can't change it hey!XXX
It's nice to see some action in here ladies!
murraycod, I just had to say that I had really bad cramping after my successful cycle and was convinced that af must be coming. I really hope that poas (naughty!) was just too early.
Good luck!
Thank You Marcellus :hug:
If it does turn out, that I do need to return to the TWW in the near future with another IVF cycle, I will do it with more dignity ;)
But this time, I will go down kicking and screaming!!! :lol:
POAS should be banned, you are very naughty!:
Yeup..... I know...:D
Awww MC.... Come here... :hug:
I don't know what to tell you but I want you to know that I'm here to cheer you up in any way that I can. How are you feeling today? Are you much improved? What is going on inside your head? Have you forgiven yourself and are you looking forward to the end of the week? Not long to go now. Does it make you feel better that Marcellus has had the same symptoms as you (and loads of other women too) and had a +ve BT? Will it make you feel better / more at ease if you read some +ve stories from the net?
My symptoms have gone away almost completely. And that started doing my head in on Friday evening. But then I realised that I'm not the one in control of this and as you say, que sera, sera.
Not that any of what I've just said will offer you the slightest bit of optimism. I am hoping that you might at least be able to quell those feelings that are bringing you undone. Sweet thing, it (your down and out feelings) may well be for nothing. You might very well be wasting your energy. I understand why you're thinking more on the -ve side as I do the same thing as a method of self preservation. I just wish I could help you to be cheery. :comfort: Oh, and don't think that I'm not beyond organising for you to be forcefully restrained if need be! ;)
If any of you other ladies out there have words of wisdom or support for the three of us in here, we'd sure love to hear them!
FGS, how you doin'? I hope that in our drug induced nuttiness, we haven't scared you off.... :)
MF xx
Hey...
I am here... I am doing ok...
I feel so lost..!! I don't know what to do.. or think?!?! I am so scared to get excited - but I am excited... and nervous, and scared, and happy, and hopeful... nothing is going to be able to describe the emotions of a 2ww... seriously... I am day 1 - and this is my first ever 2ww with AC... and I'm already thinking I might need to fasten my seatbelt!!!
My super sore BBs have downscaled to a minor ache.. and I am not getting any more pelvic pain or cramps... so of course, I am pooping my pants that crinone is not working for me... afterall - you lovely ladies had cramp city! ugggggh
Trying to stay calm and sane..
L x
Moonflower has anyone ever told you, you are just a sweetheart!?!?
Well you are X
I'm glad your symptoms have eased for you, I truly think it's better when we are not constantly feeling things, blessed reminder of what we are trying to forget about!
How are you feeling??? When is your BT??
You truly deserve for this to work, and I will be so excited for you if it has!!:pray:
Truly, for anyone not to have to go through this again, would be the greatest think in the world.
FGS, hold on for the ride honey, I'm sure you will be more of a sport than I have!!!
Take it easy, rest up, and chill for a couple days. And be sure to stay happy and excited, because once I started to think negative thaughts, it was hard to get them out of my head, and beleive me, just take every day for it's own individual journey.
Well today is DH and my 1st Wedding anniversary, and I just feel so blessed to have a sweet man that is supporting me through all of this like a hero, and giving me plenty of encouragement to try this again. Honestly we are both at peace now if this cycle has not worked, no more tears and tantrums.
I know it's not over until BT day, but deep down we just know these things.
Anyways, hurry up Friday for me, so I can stop having to use those darn crinone pessaries, they are starting to make me a mess........tmi....:)
Good morning ladies! (Well, it was morning when I started this post!) :)
FGS, you are too cute. I have a plan for you to stop feeling so lost. Go back to where I first jumped into the tww, followed closely by MC. We were feeling all those feelings too! We can serve as a warning to you! I especially did not want to get excited. But at the same time, I did because this was all new to me. I actually had fertilised eggs which is more than I’ve ever had! Plus I felt that after all I’d been through, I deserved to get a bit excited. Still, I couldn’t do it. My fear took care of that. By the end of my first day, I didn’t think I would make it even to the end of the first week. But look! I’m still here. And I’m actually in better shape than I was at the beginning. I’ve got family praying for me and I’m praying for you, MC and your embies.
I had the sorest BBs too. And the cramping. But latter stopped a few days ago (like you, I worried about why it is so) and two nights ago, I was able to take my bra off without any pain. Even DH remarked last night that I didn’t make pained noises getting into bed! :) I’m not beyond wondering if the cessation of all my symptoms is a bad thing. It’s just that I know I can’t (and let’s face don’t really want to) make them come back. It just is. And that’s the worst of it sweetpea. What you can do is call on me (and I’m sure MC and anybody else) and rant and rave and cry and moan and be joyful and happy and everything that you’re feeling. Because we know and we can do this: :grouphug:
My only advice (if I may) is to listen to MC. Try your very best (and it’s damn hard) not to get down. Those rotten pessaries make you feel even worse. It really is hard to pull yourself out. But we’ll be here to help you. You’re already a couple of days down. Only 11 more big sleeps! Leave the pant pooping to your newborn baby when he/she arrives! :lol:
MC, CONGRATULATIONS to you and your DH! How does it feel to be married a whole year? I hope you both have a wonderful, relaxing, laughter and love filled day! I am sure it will be now that you have both unshackled all your tension. What wondrous release!
You say the sweetest things, btw, MC. I think we, all of us, deserve for our cycles to work. We’re keen to be good mummies as well as wives and we’ve gone through so much, haven’t we? For me, even having to actually admit that I had to have scientific help was a huge emotional hurdle and then to actually do it…. Well, I’m sure you are no different.
It is funny that you say that you “just know”. I’ve said to people, that I “just know” that I can’t have kids. They look at me like “Whatever you nutbag. You can’t ‘just know’.” But we feel it, don’t we? Down in the core of our being. But let me tell you this: It ain’t over till the fat lady sings. And MC, I haven’t even begun clearing my throat yet!! (You can’t see me, but I’m overweight.) So I know that you just know lady. But I also want, so very much, for you to prove yourself wrong.
FGS, are you writing all this down? Don’t make me come back to you in a week and copy and paste this reply!! ;)
AFM, I have two more big sleeps till the dreaded BT. I am nervous, the teensiest bit excited and a little scared too. I woke up at 04:30 this morning, I’m sure because I’m thinking about this test. Ugh! As I said to my sil yesterday, this is the one test I don’t want to fail!
Hope you ladies are having a good day today.
MF x
Heya -
Just thought I'd pop my head in to let y'all know I amm still alive here...
MC - it's my wedding anniversary today :) Hehe - that's so cool. I read your posts in the AC forum. You sound sooo down/negative - and I am really sorry that you feel like this! Can you be THAT sure that it's going to be a BFN? did you POAS again!?!?! I really hope and pray that you BT shocks the socks of you and you end up with your BFP... I reaaaally do xxx
MF - SO EXCITING - tomorrow is your BT right??? I have everything X'd for you!
AFM - still no weird 'signs' or 'feelings' - my bbs still ache but nothing like before - and I really have no cramping at all... if anything, sometimes I might feel a niggle.. and dare I say.. sometimes I almost forget what's going on.... but that being said... I wish I could go to sleep and wake up on BT day - so I don't have to overanalyse everything all the time..
Oh well.
Better go and pay attention to my marriage... lol
L x
Hi FGS - CONGRATULATIONS to you and your DH! Hope you are both having a lovely day being as romantic as you can at this time! :D
Have you been reading up on any other ladies stories who are in the same situation as us? Sometimes it can help, although sometimes it can make you a bit nutty. Like if you only read stories about women who have weird symptoms instead of reading about the ladies who have no symptoms at all!! Remember, there are no right or wrong symptoms! :)
MC, have I upset you? I don't understand what is happening. I know you said you feel that this cycle hasn't worked and yet, you haven't actually gotten AF yet, right? I'm so sad for you. I really wish I could hug you right now. I don't want to upset you but I really, really don't want you to give up. My nurse told me that even if I get my AF, I have to come for the BT because she had a girl who got her AF, didn't go for her BT, did another cycle and she was pregnant the whole time. Oh please MC, try to lift. Don't let that freakin' crinone make you so sad. I hate that I can't help you. :hug:
Yes FGS, I have my BT tomorrow. It will be early (before work) and I'm going to ask them to not ring me as, if it is a -ve, I won't be able to cope and I don't want anyone at work to find out (I work with 4 blokes!!). I'm going to ask if I can ring them when I get off work.
I don't know what to feel. Part of me doesn't even want to have the BT. Or at least that I should put it off for another week. I kind of like the idea that I'm PUPO and I don't want to deal with bad news. How silly, huh? I'm still a bit nervous, a bit scared and a very little bit excited.
MC, please write and let me know how you are and what is going on. I'm really concerned and I just don't know what to do or say to help you.... :comfort:
MF xx
Moonflower darling i am totally fine I promise!!!:D
I had the greatest day with DH on our anniversary, we had plenty of chats and huggs, was so nice.
Congrats on your anniversary too FGS!!!:dance:
Moonflower I can;t bebeive it is BT time for you tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG!!! As slow as it has gone.....that went fast!!:lol:
I am praying that you get your BFP tomorrow MF, it wil totally make my day!
My bt is on Friday. The reson I used a HPT the other day, is that my FS told me that if my little blasty stuck, it would show by day 7/8. So that is why I got down. But Moonflower i promise promise promise I'm ok XXX Ofcourse I got let down, but gorgeouse DH was therre to pick me up so I could dust myself off!!!!
Girls, good luck, I hope we all get a great result out of all of this, MF I have a good feeling about tomorrow!!XX
Okay. Phew! Insert ENORMOUS sigh of relief here!
Okay, so very glad to hear that you are doing good and I'm really pleased that you and DH are do so well. And that you had a great anniversary. Excellent news! :)
Last night I was telling my DH about how I was feeling nervous etc etc and mid sentence, possibly even mid word he shoved his tee shirt (he was helping fold clothes) in my face and said "What's this stain?" I was aghast and clearly the look on my face showed it because then he put the shirt down and said "don't worry about it". But of course, it was much too late. Damage done and I didn't talk to him about it anymore. In fact, it took me an hour to say anything to him at all. Because that's how long it took him to apologise. *sigh*
Thanks for your positive thoughts and wishes for me. I really want this to work for us all too. :)
MF xx
Just popping in to wish MF all the best for tomorrow
Thanks so much Loula! I really appreciate your thoughts and wishes. Especially at this moment because.....
After nothing since Friday, I've been having cramps again today, getting worse each hour. I thought nothing about it. Nor did I think much about the fact that my nipples are hurting like hell. About an hour ago, I had to do my pessarie thing. When I removed the stick, I noticed blood on it. Now I'm beside myself. I've cried a whole lot and DH was next to me not knowing what to do because he too, is upset. I've chastised myself for being +ve and having happy thoughts. If only I hadn't let myself get too caught up in PUPO. :crying:
Oh, I know it ain't over yet ladies. But it sure does feel like it is. I know other women have had bleeding / spotting before their BT and they got a +ve result but I don't recall any of them saying the cramping returned too. :dunno:
I'm so sorry to be so down. Especially to you MC. But I've been thinking about you loads today and I'm wondering if you're getting bad cramps because you always have had bad menstrual cramps? I don't know. It was just a thought.
FGS, been thinking of you too. Hoping you're having a wonderful day with DH. If you're both up to it, tell me something happy about yourselves.
I know that I may very well have had a brain snap for nothing. Part of me is still hoping....
MF xx
Oh MF! I'm so sorry that you're feeling sad... Not all hope is lost! Honestly - bleeding or a bit of spotting is really quite common/normal - it's only because you inserted something white up 'there' that you saw it - it could be a bit of implantation bleeding working it's way out? Another VALID reason could be that the pessary scratched you- afterall, you've been poking a hard plastic thingy up there for the last two weeks! I know it feels like everything is mounting up against you - but like you told MC - 'it ain't over til the fat lady sings' and... I, like you, am also overweight - and lemme assure you -I am NOT singing!
MC- ditto all that to you too!
I refuse to believe it's over for either of you! Flat out don't beleive it - if it is - what hope do I have?!
DH and I had a lovely day! We had breakfast this morning and went for a wander around... Then had dinner tonight at one of our fave restaraunts- was a lovely relaxing day!
I'm still not feeling anything really! Occassionally twinges - but that feels like ovaries! Weird! One thing I noticed tonight is that my bbs are GINORMOUS! I guess it's all the hormones (also on estrogen patch) but geeeez! If they weren't so sore it might be fun!
Praying for you both
L xx
Moonflower honey please don't panic.
The small amnt of blood on the pessary could be just a little scratch like FGS said. It could be a small amnt of spotting but all of this is normal.
I get cramping, as you know, all of the time, I can't begin to explain how strong and twingy they are, but I do also suffer from nasty AF pain every cycle.
Please understand that the excitement and stress of tomorrow can play games with you body, you need to try get some rest.
Darling don't be disheartened by this, you have come so far with such a positive outlook . Remember when we first met? Look how far you have come! You should be so so proud of yourself Moonflower, I'm proud of you X
Take it easy, I know easier said than done, but get some rest, big day tomorrow XXX
I will be here waiting for your news XXX
Ladies, you’re both as sweet as honey. Thanks for cheering me up. I did manage to get it together last night and prayed a whole lot for the peace and strength to get through this. And I know that everything you’re both saying is right. And it ain’t over till later this afternoon. I am still hopeful that I will have good news to share with you both. :)
I was doing great until the nurse (no fault of hers) said “How are you going? Any bleeding?” I said yes, last night and then she was offering condolences which was very nice of her but it made me tear up. Then she said “Did we get any frozen embryos?” And that made me cry! I could only shake my head. Poor nurse, she apologised and it took me a couple of minutes to regain my composure. She was very lovely and didn’t for one second treat me like just another woman who has lost her mind! ;)
I told her I wanted to ring the clinic myself this afternoon as I won’t be able to take the call at work. But God is working on me and I am now feeling strong enough to just take the call when it comes. But of course, they won’t call because I told them not too! Ha! :doh:
But listen to me prattle on. It’s not all about me!
FGS, happy to hear you had a good day. Don’t you let me get you down. You are so lucky that you don’t have the cramps! I’m jealous and can only imagine MC is even more so! And it’s hilarious that your bbs are bigger but sore so there won’t be any fun for your poor DH – or you for that matter. Hee hee hee…. (we’re in the same boat!)
MC, hope you are doing well. I do remember when first we met. I was an angry, crazy, bitter old crone! I’m sure as hell not going to go back to being like that! From now on, I shall use my powers for good instead of evil! Thanks for what you said too. I am pretty pleased with how far I’ve come in such a short time. It helps when you have loads of good support.
Thank you both again. You’ve given me the boost I needed, once more. You’re wonderful! And my DH and I are still praying for you.
MF xx
Sweetheart I am so glad you are feeling better thismorning, I will be praying for you ALL day, fingers crossed you have some exciting news to share with us.
I will check back thisafternoon XXX
FGS, I hope you are well, and taking it easy XXX
Hi ladies.....is it ok if I come and join your cozy little group??
Well I had an apparently beautiful looking 4 cell 2 day embryo transferred at midday. Got to see it on the screen which was pretty cool. But am I the only person who's FS doesn't use an ultrasound during transfer? This is my 3rd and I've never seen it when it gets squirted in? Because they decided at the last minute to do it today I didn't get to have my before acupuncture appointment but he did manage to squeeze me in for my after one.......HEAVEN. Am feeling pretty good now and just trying to forget about the HORRENDOUS week I have had so far and muster all the positive energy I can for my lone little emby.
MF - I am so :pray: for good news for you today. I have everything x'd for you!!
MC - Please don't give up yet, I know that our hearts have ways of trying to protect themselves but like everyone has been saying.....it's not over til it's over. :hug:
FGS - Hope you are keeping your sanity and staying positive. Big :hug:'s for you too.
Lots of :pink-babydust: & :stickyvibesboy: for all of us. Lets start 2010 off with a bang!
Hey Ladies...
MOONFLOWER - How are you doing hun? did you call the FS?? I reaaaaally hope and pray that everything went smoothly and that you haven't posted because youre still elated from your BFP... :pray: Let us know when you're ready... either way, I know you're an amazing, strong woman... xxx
MURRAYCOD - How you doin? How are those cramps? Hopefully they've subsided... a few days til your BT too huh?
WELCOME BJ :) - congrats on your gorgeous little embie! My FS specifically said that the only reason they use the ultrasound is so *we* can see it.. the doctor doesn't use it at all... he goes by 'feel' - lol. It's cool to see... but it's more of an emotional thing - not like there's any fireworks or anything! Fx for you... You're only a couple of days behind me.
I kind of feel selfish for doing an "AFM" today... I am hanging out to hear from MF...
L x
BJ81 sticky sticky glue vibes to you woohoo!!!!!
Oh I hope you have a nice relaxing and happy couple of weeks, take care honey, and ofcourse you can join in on the madness anticipation with us!!! More the merrier!!!
Yeah I have the same FS as FGS, he didn't look at the ultrasound, the screen was pointed around for me XXX
FGS, hopefully your little blasty has found a nice place to burry in for the long haul now !!! Such an exciting few days, I hope the rest goes nice and happy and quick for you.
My cramping still here honey XXX But it's all good my friend XX
Moonflower, I was stressing out because I logged on so late, I was scared I was going to miss some great news!!! But thank god I have not missed you yet (sigh), Geez I hope you are buisy celebrating, you deserve nothing but the best babe, you have been so so so strong. XXXXX
Will pop by again later on MF... XXXXX
No AFM today, just wana be here for Moonflower X
Hi there BJ81! So glad you're in the pen! ;) I hope your stay here is relatively uneventful and easy going. I shall keep you and your embie in my prayers along with the other two lovely ladies. My FS didn't use ultrasound to put the embies back either.
FGS & MC, glad to see you are both doing well today. I want to thank you both again so very much for you well wishes, your prayers and making me feel better or have a laugh at exactly the right moment. I got my result today. All hope is lost. My grief is overwhelming. DH is worried to cry as he thinks he may not stop.
I'm going to keep on praying for you three and I hope you wonderful ladies don't mind, I'll pop back in intermitently over the next couple of weeks to check on you and see if I can be of any use. Not sure that I'll be any good for the next day or two though. But MC, I know you're up on Friday. I want good news to drag me out of my funk. (That's an instruction, not a request!) ;)
Thanks again MC and FGS. You don't know how much your encouragement and support have meant to me over the past two weeks.
Love
MF xx
Dear Moonflower so sorry to hear that this has not been your month. Take time to cry vent etc whatever gets you through it and tell DH its just as important for him too. I know you will be strong and dust yourself off when your ready to embark on your dream once again.
Moonflower... I am so, so, sooooo sorry! I feel incredibly sad for you... I really hope that you can find some comfort and peace in the coming days... My DH and both shed a few tears reading your post...
Take your time, but come back and see us... I'll be here for what feels like an eternity...
Now I am going to do an AFM... I'm sorry....
I just picked up my mail from my PO Box - and I found out that of my 5 remaining 'high grade' embryos - none of them were suitable for freezing. I feel so gutted... so if they weren't suitable for freezing - does that mean they stopped developing? Does that make them crap? does that make me crap? Does that mean my little bean has stopped too??? I am so confused...
:crying: It all felt too good to be true...
L x
My thoughts and prayers are with you Moonflower xx
Oh Moonflower, I am so so sorry. Nothing that anyone can say will make it any better right now but it's so important that both you and your DH grieve properly. Scream, cry, get mad, do whatever you have to do. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel or how to get through it. It's all just time honey. I have been there twice before so although we are all different, it makes me ache inside knowing what u are going through. Please don't lose hope though.....it's all we have in this insane journey that is ivf. :comfort:
FGS that really sucks honey but obviously the little emby you have on board was a good one otherwise it wouldn't have made it to blasty and they wouldn't have transfered. I have just been through the same "what am I doing wrong" "why can't I make good numbers/quality" thing myself but it is all just a guessing game and there are no answers. Just keep your chin up and (I can't believe I am going to say this after the week I've had) but it only takes one! Hang in there!
Moonflower my Darling, words cannot express how dissapointed and sad I feel reading your post. I am so sorry this cycle did not work out the way you wanted honey, please take as much time as you need to to greive the feelings you have built up inside right now, and I can only pray that you find strength within yourselves to have another go.
Honey you have been such an inspiration to me at picking me up when I've been down, as I had said to you earlier, i am so proud of how far you have become, from when I first met you.
Please keep in touch Moonflower, I wish you all the very best in your future journeys, and would love to share them with you, good nd bad XXX
Givfe that gorgeouse DH a big hug from all of us, and just love eachother right now babe, I am so sorry XXXXX Catherine XXXXX
FGS, I know exactly how you are feeling honey, I too had 5 nice eggies growing, to get a letter in the mail to say only 1 was good enough to freeze, so sorry, but I just pray, that you won't have to worry about that for a loooong time XXXXX Cuz the 1 inside your tummy is going to grow and grow XXXXX
Moonflower- I shouldn't be in here yet (not till tomorrow hopefully) but I have been following your month and just wanted to say I am incredibly sorry this wasn't the month for you. I know there isn't anything I can say to make you feel better, but just wanted you to know I am so very sad for you and thinking of you and your DH.
I hope to see you back in here soon for a better month
Sharee
Hey Moonflower - hope you're doing ok - thoughts are still with you and your DH...
Murraycod - hope you're not too anxious about tomorrow...
BJ - Hope you're relaxing and that your little embie is settling in just nicely.
AFM... ****WHHHHHHHHYYYYYYY***
Ok.. I am seriously losing the plot... when I first started this 2ww and I was reading posts from you guys MF and MC... I just didn't get why it was so bad.
I GET IT NOW... I really do... and I am over it.. going CRAZY... I just want to POAS so I KNOW it's over with - instead of wondering... why the hell does it have to be a 2ww anyway???? Thats a LONG time to have your whole rest-of-your-life on hold! I don't know how anyone can say that you just need to get on with you life as normal in the 2ww... LIES LIES LIES!!!
I was actually feeling positive and ok about the whole thing until that STUPID letter from my FS yesterday... and it happened at the WORST time... too early to POAS and today is my RDO - so I am googling all sorts of things to help me find my answer... sitting here like a crazy psycho woman stressing...
I called Repromed this morning and one of the embryologists called me back to explain what had happened. I had my little bean tferred at 4 days... she said all 6 were looking really good at 4 days and were doing exactly what they were supposed to...
She then said next time they had checked - which would have been either the next day (sunday) or Monday when they wrote the letter... 4 of them had stayed at day 4 stage and didn't develop any further - and the last one reached blastocyst stage - but was too poor quality to freeze...
I then asked her about the one they transferred... did this one just 'stop' too..? and she said "It's a real possibility - but you need to stay positive that we chose the best looking one to implant"
Not much consolation I tell you.
I am over this... sooooooo done... I don't know if I could even do this again :(
- I am 100% convinced that this is not going to happen for me - and it hurts like hell... whoever came up with PUPO anyway? aaaarrrggghhh....
I am so sorry for the negative post - hopefully MC, your BFP will turn everyones luck right around!
L
Hey FGS, sorry you aren't feeling great, but your embie is in the most conjusive place to growing and since he was also the best looking one, surely he has every chance in the wold
MC- I hope you are hanging in there, we all have everything crossed for tomorrow.
BJ- congrats on being pupo!!
I also had a 4 cell, day 2, grade 2 embryo transferred today. My doctor didn't use ultrasound for the transfer either, but I got to see my embie on the screen before hand. I am already feeling loopy and actually had passing thoughts of peeing on a stick before :rolleyes:
Anyway nice to be here girls.
Shareexx
FGS - Aw honey, I know it's hard but YOU CAN DO IT. I can't believe the embryologist said that to you! What good did that do anyone?? Please just try and be positive (and DON'T POAS!!) because we actually have no control over what is going to happen.....which I think is the worst part of this journey. But so many have gotten positive results with not such great looking embryo's and then there are perfect ones that don't stick. To learn to fly you have to risk falling. I know you think that you wouldn't be able to go through this again, I thought the same thing and here I am on my 3rd. Sometimes I wonder if I am just a glutton for punishment and am just slowly going to go mad but something inside me just won't let me give up....I know that I am supposed to be a mum. You are too, otherwise you wouldn't be here so it will happen! Stay strong and positive for your little emby ok. Sorry for rambling :rolleyes:
Sharee - Welcome to the mad house! I'm glad that everything wen't well for you today. When is your BT? Mine is the 10th. Which may as well be a lifetime! lol Hope you are having a nice rest up this arvo and are being looked after by your DH.
MC - Hope you are hanging in there. Good luck for tomorrow xxx
MF - Still thinking of you. Hope you guys are hanging on. :comfort:
Sharee, :welcome: to the mad house. :) I hope that you enjoy your stay here. I know from personal experience the ladies are all wonderful and will really help you get through this.
Dearest MC, how could I let today go past without wishing you every good thing. I'm looking forward to some good news from you soon. :)
FGS, I can't tell you how grieved I am to hear that you were given that bad news about your embies. And more so that you're emotional state has taken a battering. It's not supposed to be like this. :hug:
To all of you who have sent me some comforting words and understanding, thank you so much. From the bottom of my heart. I would never have survived the past two weeks without you all. I'm still hurting but I know that time is what I need. :crying:
I'll be popping back in to check and see who is going to give me good news! I can't think of any women more deserving of pregnancy that all of you. Strong, kind, thoughtful and with just a tiny bit of crazy (that comes after the first week of being in here!!). :grouphug:
God bless you all. And thank you so very, very much.
MF xx
On a funny note, just realised the name of my last post is manhunt commission :lol:
I'd like to pretend that has some deep meaning, but I'm pretty sure I typed the verification words in the wrong spot :redface:
:ROFL: Sharee you just nearly made me wet myself.....that was the best laugh I've had in ages, exactly what I needed! I noticed that before and just thought......um ok, maybe I missed something. Hahahaha. Nice work xxx
Sharee, thank the lord I am wearing a panty liner, cuz I did literaly laugh that hard I dribbled!!!:oops: (not from my mouth...........) Anyway......
Fgs, as much as the embryologist was straight to the fact, no corners on the edge, you know that they are giving you the best possible chance, not a medium one, not a half hearted one, a propper chance at getting this right. It would be awfull, to go through all this, to find out in the end that you weren't given the best possible chance to fall PG.
That litle blasty that is inside your tummy right now, is the healthiest fattest and strongest chance up to date to help you fullfill your dream to become a mother.
Honey, it does suck that you have no snowbabies, but take 1 cycle at a time, and each day as it's own journey, and you will be so much stronger than I have been.
BJ81, not long untill the 10th.............;) we will all be here for you, you will be amased at how slow days go so quickly XXXX
We are all here for you XX
Share, don't even pee on that stick!!!!:p Allow me, atleast for this month, to hold the record of POAS and freaking out!! XXX!!!XXX
Moonflower, I have been thinking of you all day honey. Allow yourself to greive as much as you need to, I promise I will be here to help dust you off when you are ready. Take care, and keep in touch XXXXX
Well my BT is tomorrow, not that excited or hopefull, but I will do it. Thank you ladies for all of your support over the last 3 weeks, I have been a complete nutcase of a mess. Just glad tomorrow it will all be over. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hi :hello: I'm just popping in to wish murraycod good luck with the BT today. I do hope you are pleasantly surprised! I'll be keeping a look out. Good luck to everyone else waiting for news too, it's such a hard wait, you remind me of what it's like. I look forward to being back in the TWW in a couple of months, hopefully by that time you will all have moved into the PG thread!
:) Sal
Thanks Sal XXX Got my bloods done thismorning, results shall be in thisavo sometime I will let you know how it goes XXX
As confident as I am about knowing what the results are going to be, I am still so nervouse to hear the phone ring :tmi:
The old saying, 'What we don't know doesn't hurt', yeah, wonder if the person that made that saying, actually ever had to endure a TWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)