resources for the guys going through infertility treatment?

[farmgirl77]

Hello,
Quick question - has anyone come across a good resource (book or DVD etc) for guys going through infertility? My DH is not really the serious book type, and hates the technical IVF info, but I want to find something that may be of use for him (and for me)? We have both male and female issues, and when we have chatted about it, he keeps saying that it is hard for me to understand from a male point of you what having low counts etc are like, and he is struggling to understand as well. There seems to be plenty of books aimed at us, but has anyone come across something entertaining etc aimed at guys?
Any advice would be much appreciated

[sushee]

farmgirl,

there is a book written by David Rawlings called Swimming Upstream that's been written from a man's POV. David has also contributed articles to BB and one of them can be found here: Putting on a Brave Face in a Child-Focused World

There is also a link at the bottom of the article where you can purchase the book.

[Princess_Fiona_01]

Hi farmgirl,

When DH & I first discovered our fertility problems a year ago, i found a book titled: The Infertility Handbook' by Jacqueline Tomlins (Allen & Unwin Publishers). We both found it very useful as the author hascompleted 10 cycles of IVF herself. It is a really good book explaining everything from begining to explore fertility issues ritght through to success and feelings, and moving forward after IVF, and the procedures involved, all in laymans terms, plain english.

We found it great as it also includes stories (direct quotes) from other IVF-ers as to how they were coping and what they were feeling at the time. It also has a really good section on exploring feelings and the emotional rollercoaster that we are on , on the ART rollercoaster.

I would recommend this book to anyone starting out on this journey.

Good luck to you both on this journey.

Cheers.. Fi

[slyder]

FG, there's not much out there. But in addition to Sushee and Fi's advice, there was a book released recently by some bloke called Michael Vikstrom or Lindstrom or something. He actually posted under the LTTTC AC section, but it may have been within a thread and not titled as such IYKWIM?

If you do a username search I reckon you'd be able to find posts made by him and therefore find the book title (it's all about his experience with male infertility). I spent 5 minutes looking but couldn't find it and have to go out now, but hopefully you'll find it

[farmgirl77]

thanks everyone for your help...i'll do some researching. Much appreciated

[nic]

Farmgirl,I would have the second the book suggested by Sushee. I purchased this a while ago and while not all of it is applicable to me or DH, I found it an excellent read.
My DH is the same as your DH in not being a book worm, so I would read any bits out to him that I thought he would get a laugh out of or just to let him know that what he was feeling was normal

Nic

[farmgirl77]

Thanks nic, I just followed the link that sushee provided and read some of the extracts...it seems to be a good and practical, and maybe just entertaining enough to keep dh interested...but i'll also try your suggestion of reading bits to him, maybe when we are in the car and he cant escape...

[nic]

LOL at telling him in the car so he can't escape Farmgirl! We had to drive 2 hours each way to our FS appointments then 1000k's for EPU and transfer, and I found that was the best time for us to have our conversations, we couldn't escape each other.

Nic

[farmgirl77]

nic - sounds like we are in a similar position re travel (although we r not as far from IVF as you) - we will have a 3 1/2hr drive to see our FS and undergo IVF ...so plent of time to have 'discusions'. how do you find the travel and where do you stay when you undergo treatment - did you stay with friends/family (and if so do they know why you are there), motel or just head home? i'm trying to figure out what might be our best option.

Good luck with the tww, fingers crossed for a BFP for you and your dh.

[Mon]

Hi FG!

This is a great thread you have started! I want to read whatever I can get my hands on these days. By the time bubs comes along I will have a library dedicated to TTC!
Here are some books I recommend:
1. In Vitro Fertility Goddess - Jodi Panayotov. Very Bridget Jonesque, about a City gal that moves to Brisb and her 3+ year journey trying to conceive. Just finished it actually and really enjoyed it - its a light and entertaining read and was good to see the humour throughout.
2. Getting Pregnant the Hard Way - Mikael Svanstrom. I believe Slyder just mentioned it above. Really enjoyed it and your hubbie might really like it ... as written from male perspective.
3. IVF & Ever After The emotional needs of families - Nichola Bedos. 1st 1/4 of book concentrates on prepping body for IVF, the procedure and the emotional impact. then the Pregnancy journey after conceiving with IVF. HAve skimmed through this but am sure will read with more interest once am PG!

FG wishing you and DH lots of luck!

Mon

[Baby Bliss]

2. Getting Pregnant the Hard Way - Mikael Svanstrom. I believe Slyder just mentioned it above. Really enjoyed it and your hubbie might really like it ... as written from male perspective.

Just seconding this one. I bought this for my husband and he has enjoyed it.

[slyder]

Yeah him - Svanstrom. I knew it was something 'strom'!

[Mon]

Hey Rols (oops slyder) did you read it? If so did u like it?

[farmgirl77]

Hi Mon,
Thanks for adding a few suggestions. IVF and Everafter is the only book that I've read to date - and I found it very useful and brings up some interesting questions that are good to consider that I had not really thought about eg. what are you planning to tell a baby eventuating from IVF.

[slyder]

Nah, I haven't read any IVF books, Mon.

[nic]

Hey Farmgirl We were a little different to every one else with our travel. We would have to travel 2 hours to FS#1, who did our scans, and supplied our injections etc, while keeping in contact with the clinic 1000k's away.
When it came time for EPU, FS#1 called FS#2 (Who was filling in for the original FS#2 we were suppose to be seeing but was on holidays) and everything was sorted out between them.

We had a scan with FS#1 on a wednesday then returned the 200k's home, only to return on Friday for another scan, then got told EPU was Monday.
Drove home friday, packed got DD ready to go to the IL's and took off Saturday and drove just over half way. Got up sunday, drove the rest of the way,had booked a motel over the net, close to the day surgery. Was very close to the CBD, it was literally around the block from where we were staying.
EPU Monday, Transfer Wednesday arvo and checked out Wednesday morning as well. Drove a few hours home after transfer and then the rest of the way the next day, stopping at my parents for a few hours.

After doing roughly 2500k's in a week I was completely sick of sitting in the car.
We stayed with my parents for any appointment with FS#1, and booked the motel over the net (though it was recommended by my parents, so that helped) for EPU/Transfer.

When we booked the motel, I got a package with breakfast for the both of us, so it was already worked into the price. We got room service for 2 of the 3 nights we were there and takeaway the other night.
On the way down and home we stopped at the same town and motel, and had Subway for dinner both times.

I checked out parking around the day surgery/hospital and found underground secure car parking which if we dropped the car off between 7 -9am and picked it up between 2pm and 7? we would only be charged $10 as opposed to $24 if we arrived after 9am. So on the day of transfer, DH and I went for breakfast then he dropped the car off before 9am.We had it packed with everything except the beauty case. We checked out at 10am, though I wish I had thought about making it a late checkout as we didn't need to be at the hospital until around 12.30.
Had transfer, then had to wait 20 minutes to get the car, then we went back to the motel and picked up the beauty case and left!

I checked the hospitals website and they had bus timetables and what motels they picked up and dropped off at as well. It didn't include were we stayed, but we only had to walk around the corner anyway.

Nic