I think what your RE means that they chances for each embryo remain the same, but the chances for each cycle increase if you put back two. Meaning, say (this is just an example I'm making up) each embie has a 15% chance of success. If you put back one, the embie and cycle have 15% chance of success, but if you put back two, each embie has 15% chance of success, but because there are two of them, the cycle increases to a 30% chance of success. The other way of putting it, is if you have two embies, they have the same chance of success, but it's your choice if you want to give them each a turn in separate cycles, or in the one cycle. Medically it's better to do it in two separate cycles, as you would be avoiding the chances of twins, but emotionally, I know I personally couldn't have coped with a lot of cycles, so I guess I was thinking of myself and taking a chance when I put two back in a fresh cycle. I loved both of my embies, but at the same time, I was kind of hoping I wouldn't have twins. With twins, the risks to the babies and the mother are higher, but the amount of work on poor mum when they come out would be so hard. One baby is really hard, I don't know how people manage with two. For example leaving one to cry while you help the other is really hard. It was hard when I had a newborn and a 2 year old, if they were both newborns, with little practical help from the family, I would have gone nuts.

Anyway, re. leaving no soldiers behind, I think each child deserves to be wanted, and I'm not sure I'm ready for another one. I never planned to have 3. I think maybe the right thing is to donate my embies to another couple, but knowing exactly what I'd be giving away, I would spend every day of my life wondering what is happening to my biological child. I would also need to tell my family about this, as one day the child will most likley come knocking on my door when they are 18. What do I say when they ask why I gave them up, and chose to keep their two brothers. My two boys look very similar, and have similar personalities. I feel like I know exactly what I'd be giving away. I don't think I can do it. Hence the terrible dilemma.