What's life like with a baby???

[nox]

Hi,

I am only 14.5 weeks pg. I took a redundancy in Jan this year and have since been working as a contractor. Recently I seem to be in a position to negotiate either a part time or full time position in a potentially great job... They also know that I am pg. Seems ideal??

The office is not exactly family friendly and there is only 1 toilet. I would like to breastfeed and spend time with my new baby ... this really is a great professional opportunity though.

This is what I was thinking and I would love to know anyone's thoughts as I really have no idea what life with a baby will be like, but having asked friends and stuff this is what I have come up with ...

3mths off after birth; 3mths -6mths: 3days at home, but in for meetings/briefings; 6mths-12mths (neg) 2days home, 2 days office; 12mths: 4 days office.

How does this sound? Can I breastfeed only partially after 6mths? ie day and night? Am I even being realistic?

[johT]

This is what I was thinking and I would love to know anyone's thoughts as I really have no idea what life with a baby will be like,

How does this sound? Can I breastfeed only partially after 6mths? ie day and night? Am I even being realistic?

congrats!

yup its really hard to fathom what life is like with a baby before you've had one. lots of people couldn't bear to leave them so soon (at 3 months), so even though the job sounds perfect you should probably keep an option in the back of your mind for that senario imo.you probably will fall madly in love with your bubba and even want to delay the job until 6 months when you are both more settled??
then again, some people are very bored home alone with a baby if they love the busy career life - only you know what you are like, or can guess.

yup you can most definetly continue to breastfeed when you return to work. you can even keep Bf'ing fulltime if you want to - but then you might need to express and use bottles. the other option is formula when you are away from baby and breast when you are with baby. obviously the first option is best, but personal choice.the ABA website has lots of great info

[nox]

Thanks Joh,

So if I express milk on days that I am not at work, for feeds when I am, this is OK? What happens to my breasts? Do they just cope? I won't be able to express at work.

In an ideal world I wanted to stay at home 6mths. I just can't imagine how a new employer would even comprehend that ... especially as they have no concept of children there!

[johT]

i suggest you go to the ABA (australian breastfeeding association) website for lots of info.
you will probably need to express at the times you are not with your baby when you would usually feed to keep comfortable.im quite sure legally your work place HAS to provide somewhere comfortable for you to do this (not a toilet!!) and a fridge to store milk in.
i guess thats why some people wean to formula as it is more work to express but if you educate yourself on breastmilk you may be more determined than if you dont!:P
breasts work on supply equals demand so you will produce what is taken out. the more you feed the more milk you make. so you would probably need to express a little bit to keep your supply up.

[nickel]

Um, it's really really hard to know how you are going to feel after your gorgeous bundle arrives.
Even your work has to legally provide somewhere to express, realistically they aren't going to, unless they want you at all costs to work for them!
Part time work and expressing is totally possible, I've been doing it since Ruby was 6 weeks old, but she is my second child and everything is very different. I have found expressing at work less than ideal, and most people I know seem to give up breastfeeding at 6 months if they are working full time. I do express in the toilet as it is all that is available, but it's more taking the time out to do it that can be frustrating as I want to finish my work so I can get home on time, not sit in a toilet expressing milk (btw it's fortunately a very nice toilet!!)
Lastly, working part time is very very different to full time. You have to communicate a LOT more, and depending on your job, you may feel like you do a half a$$ job at work and half a$$ at home which can be very depressing! Remember babies don't really fit into a timetable or scheme, They don't all feed 4 hourly on the hour for example, and sleep through the night and etc etc.

Personally, take the part time option, if you change your mind I'm sure it will be available full time, but it's much harder to go in the opposite direction. If you want to breastfeed, I think having 3 months at home where you are not worried when and where you breastfeed is a fantastic start. My daughter is looked after 2 days a week and has a bottle (formula) during the time she is cared for, unless I have a spare expressed 180mls. The other days I breastfeed as much as possible so my milk isn't affected by the 2 days reduced feeds.

What am I trying to say? Plan away, it's not a bad thing, but just be really really flexible with yourself. I think the 3 months at home, and then part time is a good plan. Start there, but don't commit yourself to anything else till you see how you go. And remember, jobs will come and go (they really do!) but your baby's life only rolls through once!

[Liz]

Tallon is 1 and I can't bear to leave him in order to go to work.. and I only visit clients to do their books a few hrs at a time! LOL (hence why I'm quitting )

I had big plans of continuing to work part-time "to keep my sanity" but you know what - I just LOVED being a mum at home (there's plenty to do!!) and still do, so I'm giving up the bookkeeping business. I do have other businesses that we run from home that I can work on, but I just can't stand going 'out' to work anymore. I should have given it all away when I first dropped clients - I kept mainly the ones I could do a home.. but I still can't stand it LOL.

So - yep - keep your options open, and see how you feel. I think the big thing with me not wanting to work anymore, is that financially I don't -need- to work. So all motivation goes out the window. hehe.

I think it depends on the bub too. Tallon has been a very cautious little thing from the beginning, and doesn't like people he doesn't know well, so putting him in care would have been quite traumatic for him I think. It's just his personality.

Same with the breastfeeding - Tallon is a frequent feeder, and still feeds through the night.. so that's another thing you won't really know until bub is here.

Just go with the flow, and keep your options open and then see how you feel when the time comes A lot of people are now taking 1yr maternity leave, so don't feel that you have to go back in 3 or 6 months!

All the best with your pregnancy!

[seventh_heaven]

Having a baby is a big transition. Everyones situations are different. Due to our unique situations there is no real 'text book' answer to how life will change.

It took me at least 12 weeks with my first baby before I felt confident and adjusted to life as 'a little family'.

It might help to consider a few aspects of life that could change when baby comes along, such as:

Sleep. This was one of the biggest shocks for me! I didn't realise my baby would deprive me of so much sleep the first year of his life. While some babies are more settled than others during the night, most parents wish that they got more sleep.

Time management. Getting general things done around the house such as laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping etc can take longer as babies can have fussy times at the most inconvenient times.

Breatfeeding. It takes time before mummy and baby fall into a comfortable demand feeding pattern. If I had my first time over again, I would have read more into the 'hows' of breastfeeding. The Australian Breastfeeding website (try doing a google) is a great start.

Of course there are lots more changes that our lives take when a baby comes along. And while you might breeze through them all, it might be best to keep your work options open so that you can weigh the situation up without feeling obligated to any commitments.

Good luck.

[Pandora]

Hi there,

contacting the ABA would be a great start.
I am pretty sure that your workplace is required by law to provide somewhere, not a toilet, for you to express.

[nox]

hi there!

Interesting about place to b/f not toilet by law ....

At any rate, I have decided to give them the flick. Another woman who just had a child is leaving the firm and one of the reasons is that they have no concept of working mothers.

I have decided to try and keep afloat with contracting work (I am now 19w pg and can't really go for any jobs in good faith knowing I'll be leaving soon). It's stressful in a way, not having secure work for after the baby organised ...

But I guess from heaering all of you that you just don't know how you will feel ....

[Bathsheba]

And remember, jobs will come and go (they really do!) but your baby's life only rolls through once!

I completely agree. However not all women are cut out to be fulltime SAHMs... it's a very lonely job if you are used to mixing with lots of people everyday and being praised for your work (babies are more demanding than most people realise and I might be stating the obvious but never say 'thanks, good job Mum') . Try to strike a balance... but if in doubt follow your heart... if you are feeling guilty then listen. That might be a bit controversial, but it's just what I have learned and witnessed and at the end of the day I guess it's just my opinion, not gospel

Remember that you might not get a full night's sleep for up to a year after your baby is born. Don't shrug this off. You might say "oh I've never needed much sleep, or I've always been a night owl... *shaking head*... uh uh... life with a baby is different... you will be roused from deep sleep on a regular basis, proabaly several time a night, and this has a huge impact on your life and even your outlook.

Anyhow, enough doom and gloom from me LOL but I will mention one more issue. Your baby/child will need you to take time off work when they are sick... childcare centres cannot take them even if they have a cold. This could happen with alarming frequency. If your workplace is not family friendly you could have a problem in this regard. Just some points to mull over.

[LizzysMum]

Everyone is different and its hard to know how you will react.

I was very career oriented and thought I would go back to work. It has now been 2 years and 11 months since I worked and I have loved every minute of being home with my daughter. I am due in October with No 2 and hope to be home for this one too.

Good luck whatever you do

[nox]

Thanks. It really has been the one stress in regards to this pg -- otherwise it has been a dream run. But I am not in a position to not work financially and while I know that you can't predict these things, I would like to keep myself involved in something. However, I don't have a work place anymore as I contract now. It is a matter of working out how to maintain contacts to get work when I need it -- which is actually quite difficult once you take time away.

I know that I have to take it as it comes and there is only so much one can worry about, especially since I haven't got mat leave or anything to plan and the secure position that I thought I would have I have had to let go of!

Hard being a woman! haha

[Bathsheba]

Don't forget that going to work costs money. Costs include:

* Childcare (factor in extra nappies/extra prepackaged snacks/transport to and from and late collection fees)
* Work appropriate clothing, shoes, accessories.
* Work appropriate make up, hair products, other grooming costs.
* Transport to and from work... petrol, tickets, wear and tear on the car, parking.
* Meals at restuarants and/or take away/convenient food (because you will be too tired to cook from scratch every evening.
* Lunches and socializing (drinks)
* Stationery (maintaining a filofax etc)
* Other miscellaneous expenses like drycleaning work suits etc.

Unless you are basically on a professional income going to work can be too expensive. That's how it is for me... until my children are at school anyhow. Also I have discovered that being at home and being able to modify my life a bit more when I am feeling a bit "run down" I have been sick myself ALOT less... "soldiering on" to go to work can really make you succeptible to all the bugs that go around.... and of course being sick costs money too especially these days with the new IR laws and for casual workers without sick leave... oh and doctors appointments (to get a medical certificate) and medication etc.

I really don't mean to put you off... it's just that "life with a baby" does mean that you can get "run down" a lot more frequently than you usually do.... and many people do forget to factor healthcare costs into their new life.