When i went on mat leave in october last year, we worked out that we would be able to afford me to stay home until the end of feb. now at the beginning of may i'm still at home and grateful that we managed to really s-t-r-e-t-c-h our money out but now the thought of going back to work is actually making me sick - literally.
I cant bear the thought of putting Evie in care but it's really our only option for me to make a decent amount of money. the other option is that i babysit my SIL's baby and her friends baby for like $200 a week. this would mean that we'd be still scraping by but i'd be at home.
i've been around to childcare centres looking for relief work but that still doesnt help that evie would need to go into some sort of care for the day.
its not that i'm lazy and dont want to work but i just hate the thought of her being in someone else's care - especially since i have worked in many childcare centres and just dont want her in any centre fullstop.
Now i just cant enjoy the time i have at home now because i am just so edgy about whats going to happen with me and work.
i just dont know what to and cant seem to find any solution that makes me feel ok