Working Mummies Support Group

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In terms of organisation in mornings haven't found too bad, but I tend to have shower at work (I cycle or walk a significant part, and also push kids round to daycare so prefer this) so I hardly take any time to get ready and the kids I get them to pick their clothes night before and they just grab a banana and have breakfast at daycare (I do have breakfast before I go as can't leave house without breakfast - but DS does tend to get his mits on mine most mornings too). DH does pick ups so that is ok ( doesn't help in morning which is ok as his focus is getting to work on time so can leave 16:30 to do pick up), but he may have to travel with work soon for the first time ever (and mum will have gone) so doing both drop off and pick up will have to see how it goes.

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I like the banana idea - DS will be able to have breakfast at out-of-school-hours care and DD at childcare if necessary so I will probably just either throw a piece of fruit or toast at them and let them have some cereal at care on our early mornings. My plan is to have a shower about 530am - eeek!! I am hoping DD will still BF morning and night so will need to factor in time for a morning feed too. DH leaves at 630am but I dont want to be waking the kids any earlier than necessary and turning them into early birds although DS is already an early waker. Am thinking if I am dressed and had breakfast I can wake them at about 615 and get them dressed, half fed, DD BF and out the door by 7. Will be doing school lunch and bag packing the night before.

I'll be going into the office Mon, Wed and Fri, but Mum has the kids friday so she'll just come down before I leave and sort out breakfast, clothes etc and take them to her house when they are ready. Have worked out that we can get by without after school care as DH finishes at 3pm, he'll just skip his arvo break and finish about 245 on Mon/Wed so he can pick DS up from school, and I'll pick up DD from care at 430 when I finish work. On my RDO and work from home day and I will have DD with me all day and just have to do the school run which I can do at the normal times. At this stage I plan to return to 5 days of work when DD starts school (so 2018).

I haven't worked out my wage per hour, but basically we cant afford to live on one wage - mortgage is too big. As much as I've enjoyed being a SAHM while on maternity leave (and this would be my first preference), the reality is I need to work if we want to continue our current standard of living. Have I thought about buying a smaller house and living a more modest lifestyle? Definitely! But in the end, we built our dream home 6 years ago to fill with a couple of kids and plan to live here pretty much fovever so the compromise is to work to pay for it all. I do enjoy my work though, I am good at it and it gives me a sense of purpose totally separate from being a Mum. I also find that when I work, I don't sweat the small stuff so much with the kids, as any time I spend with them is appreciated, rather than getting bogged down with being with them 24/7 and sometimes feeling like its groundhog day every day IYKWIM?

Peanutter your hours ARE sucky :( Totally get what you mean about keeping on top of everything. We outsource as much as possible - online grocery shopping delivered to our kitchen bench and have a cleaner to keep the house under control (I've been a bit naughty and kept her while on maternity leave hehehe this time)

DH and I ran through options, and he got to pick either having the boys in daycare one day a week, or one boy in two days a week, or a cleaner/gardener once a fortnight. He picked two boys one day. I would have gone with any of those options - it really was up to him.


I shower at night, after I bathe and put to bed the boys (it's a team effort though!)


One less thing to do in the morning. :)


And I eat brekky at work.

I do admit, not working scares me. It is easy to look at the now and we can get through things now by making some sacrifices, but I have read too many stories about women who have stayed home and are now in their 50/60's with almost no super, no home and no hope. You just never know what life throws at you.

DH has almost died a couple of times, my sister died at 39 leaving two small children and a husband. I know the reality of how quickly things can change, we almost lost every thing when DH became ill. At least if I am working in a good, stable job, I can still provide for the children, I will have some super, I will have a home that I own.

Working also means that we can build a good, environmental, energy efficient home, which will also help our future as a family.

Not writing this to justify my working, but more to share my situation and feelings with others doing similar.

I like working. It keeps me sane. That being said, I'm not sure I would feel the same way if my job involved long hours or long distances to get there. I work office hours 10 mins drive from home 3 days a week.

Today I would have liked to stay in bed all day as this week is going to be horrible, but alas no can do. Quality time with the family is always done on days off. I feel bad if we don't. Tomorrow will see a trip to the zoo then park or craft in the arvo.

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I do admit, not working scares me. It is easy to look at the now and we can get through things now by making some sacrifices, but I have read too many stories about women who have stayed home and are now in their 50/60's with almost no super, no home and no hope. You just never know what life throws at you.

DH has almost died a couple of times, my sister died at 39 leaving two small children and a husband. I know the reality of how quickly things can change, we almost lost every thing when DH became ill. At least if I am working in a good, stable job, I can still provide for the children, I will have some super, I will have a home that I own.

Working also means that we can build a good, environmental, energy efficient home, which will also help our future as a family.

Not writing this to justify my working, but more to share my situation and feelings with others doing similar.

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Oh I definitely understand that reasoning. While we haven't had the life scares that you two have, you are so right in saying you don't know what the future holds. At least by me getting my education degree I will be able to earn a good income to support myself and the kids if I had to. I know my super is sooooo low atm. We had plans that DH would contribute to mine, but there just hasn't been the spare cash the past few years so it hasn't happened. Hopefully now I'm working i will be in a better position to contribute to it.

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Also my mum does think our flat is like student digs and not a home - so that prob gives you an idea of how little I prioritize home stuff.

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Lol :). My mil is here at moment and truly believes that my house is just a shambles cause I have had a few rough weeks working f/t with sick kids and husband.. My house is always like this, i don't do domesticated mummy well, but I generally make an effort when she is coming over (lives in nz so no random visits..)

But here is a little about me and my work situation :) i usually work 2 full days a week, and mornings see me commute between an hr and hr and half depending if I drop DS off to daycare and dd off to before school care. My dh is a shift worker, and often does drop off, but the only concession I get is not dressing the kids.. I still do hair, lunches, breakfast, and get to leave later. I don't financially have to work anymore, but with dd being at school, and DS being 3 and made some friends at daycare when I did have to work financially last year, I figured I would be silly to give up my hrs.. I do like my job and the people I work with, most of the time, and not bring a domesticated by nature person, I find going to work a good balance.

I've been on both sides of the fence. I've been the full time SAHM & I've worked 2 casual/part time jobs at once when DD1 was young.

I believe you need to work for your sanity. I did 4 years full time SAH after DS was born. I hated it. I couldn't handle full time 5-5.5 days a week, & I know that, but I can't not work part time. I get depressed, lonely & bored. My house turns to crap, because I have no real reason to keep it organised. I'm here all the time, I have time to search through the mess in my room for 2 clean socks.

When I don't work my house is usually a mess. My room you can barely walk into, my laundry is over flowing & my dishes don't get done til I'm about to cook dinner. i feel like crap about myself, so I treat myself like crap. If I'm not happy, I'm not happy & you can tell where I'm at with the state of my house. (ATM its spotless!! inside...)

I am on my own, so living on centrelink alone isn't fun (no child support either). If I can just earn an extra $100 a week on top of my payments, thats a camping trip to the beach on a long weekend. Thats an online order for winter PJ's for all the kids. Being able to afford friends birthdays & canteen once a week! Just being able to do those little things for my kids is all I need.

One day I will own a house, but its not going to be for a while. I'm not going to work my butt off to own a house now. I'll spend the next 10 years spending time doing things with my babies every chance i get, then worry about that. We never had this freedom before, so I'm running with it :)

There are plenty of days/weekends, even weeks during holidays that I do nothing with my kids. But there are times when we do amazing things, like weekend getaways to the beach, to make up for it.

There's no perfect way to do it, you just have to do what's best for you :)

Having my first taste of working and being home alone this week - mum left last week and DH is in NZ for a few days. Is going ok, just had to leave work half an hour early to make sure I made the 6:00pm pick up - being late is far too expensive - as it was the trains all ran in my favor and I had loads of time to spare - might try leaving just 15 mins early tomorrow instead. Not sure I would enjoy it if DH had to do more travel (is a possibility more in 2014 I think) - he normally does all the washing and ironing and does majority of cooking of our lunches etc. DS is still a pain in the backside at going to sleep, and at least with two of us can take in turns to sit in dark with him - last night I just ended up falling asleep with him till 21:00 then woke in a panic thinking had missed online shopping delivery but luckily I hadn't.

I am with you Astrid about the super - it is scary when you read how much women are down on their contributions compared to men - for us DH has very little super/pension compared to me, because he moved from job to job and did teaching in Spain to move around with me when he was younger, and has had spells out of of work over here too, as well as starting at very low paying jobs when we first came over. Super is one of the reasons I feel so strongly about how a reform is required into women working and childcare etc - and I did manage to find something on web (make care fair) about it which gives more info and facts and does summarize to some extent what different political parties are doing or not doing. That is the other thing work is giving me - time on public transport to read and think about various issues which is probably time I didn't get before. I think I am also finding that working is switching on parts of my brain that have been more switched off or on go slow for a while at least as find am thinking about all sorts of things more, and in a different way - I 'think' is a good thing :-)

Having my first taste of working and being home alone this week - mum left last week and DH is in NZ for a few days. Is going ok, just had to leave work half an hour early to make sure I made the 6:00pm pick up - being late is far too expensive - as it was the trains all ran in my favor and I had loads of time to spare - might try leaving just 15 mins early tomorrow instead. Not sure I would enjoy it if DH had to do more travel (is a possibility more in 2014 I think) - he normally does all the washing and ironing and does majority of cooking of our lunches etc. DS is still a pain in the backside at going to sleep, and at least with two of us can take in turns to sit in dark with him - last night I just ended up falling asleep with him till 21:00 then woke in a panic thinking had missed online shopping delivery but luckily I hadn't.

I am with you Astrid about the super - it is scary when you read how much women are down on their contributions compared to men - for us DH has very little super/pension compared to me, because he moved from job to job and did teaching in Spain to move around with me when he was younger, and has had spells out of of work over here too, as well as starting at very low paying jobs when we first came over. Super is one of the reasons I feel so strongly about how a reform is required into women working and childcare etc - and I did manage to find something on web (make care fair) about it which gives more info and facts and does summarize to some extent what different political parties are doing or not doing. That is the other thing work is giving me - time on public transport to read and think about various issues which is probably time I didn't get before. I think I am also finding that working is switching on parts of my brain that have been more switched off or on go slow for a while at least as find am thinking about all sorts of things more, and in a different way - I 'think' is a good thing :-)

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I am with you Astrid about the super - it is scary when you read how much women are down on their contributions compared to men - for us DH has very little super/pension compared to me, because he moved from job to job and did teaching in Spain to move around with me when he was younger, and has had spells out of of work over here too, as well as starting at very low paying jobs when we first came over. Super is one of the reasons I feel so strongly about how a reform is required into women working and childcare etc - and I did manage to find something on web (make care fair) about it which gives more info and facts and does summarize to some extent what different political parties are doing or not doing. That is the other thing work is giving me - time on public transport to read and think about various issues which is probably time I didn't get before. I think I am also finding that working is switching on parts of my brain that have been more switched off or on go slow for a while at least as find am thinking about all sorts of things more, and in a different way - I 'think' is a good thing :-)

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I have been feeling similar. Getting quite passionate about how life all fits together with working parents. Childcare really is quite fantastic for parents working, studying and/or volunteering, in comparison to school and kinder. The Kinder system down my way is so antiquated and incredibly difficult to work around. It actually has me quite angry. I am in the dilemma of do I fight for other families to have system that works better, or do I just calm down, get through the year and save my energy for the school years.

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I have been feeling similar. Getting quite passionate about how life all fits together with working parents. Childcare really is quite fantastic for parents working, studying and/or volunteering, in comparison to school and kinder. The Kinder system down my way is so antiquated and incredibly difficult to work around. It actually has me quite angry. I am in the dilemma of do I fight for other families to have system that works better, or do I just calm down, get through the year and save my energy for the school years.

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I am only just really grasping the issues with schools, because not quite there yet, and kinder well I took one look at the hours offered round here and they will just do kinder program at daycare (which a lot of people round here seem to be a bit sniffy about but is perfectly fine - even DD at 3.5 has picked up on if she when people ask her if she is in kinder she says she is at daycare they switch off and are uninterested so she just says yes now). A couple of kinder places are offering two long days 7.5 hours for 4 year old but you have to sign up for 3 year old there (which are still ridiculous hours for working parents) to stand any chance of a place - but at least they are moving in the right direction. I was at the park this arvo chatting to a Chinese guy who was there with his daughter - he has been here three months - he was of the opinion that Australian kinder system was the most complicated in the world! and his view was that Australian government can't think that education starts until you are in school.

Same issues with kindy here. DS isn't going to kindy. He does two full days of childcare in the kindy room and frankly I really don't think he is missing out on anything. I did have the option of taking him out of cc and putting him into traditional kindy while on mat leave but in the end the hours just suck, always would be waking DD to drop him off, pick him up too, then he'd have to transition back to cc once our parental leave finished. So we but the bullet and paid the extra to continue cc in a stable environment

I argued for the 2 x 7 1/2 hour days. Kinder teachers did not want it, some first time kinder parents did not want it. Frankly how is it any different to Long Day Care? They do have after kinder care and thankfully (For future parents) some of the kinder teachers have come around to the long days. Some are now arguing for 2 quality days, rather than 3 mish mash days with after kinder care.

Kinder here (SW Vic) is still back in the era of mums not working. Does not help down here, that many mums don't work (even though that is now changing) and there is a vocal few who are smug about having flexible work and think that every other parent "should just find flexible work" :rolleyes: If only the world worked liked that.

There is a problem when parents do not look forward to it, but cringe about it, even parents who's kids went years ago talk about the "hell of kinder year". Which shows the format does not work. Shouldn't it be a year we look forward to, the one the helps prepare our children for school?? It is wasteful in resources, whole departments, buildings, committees, fundraisers that revolve around 1 year. You go through a stressful, complicated application process, then have to deal with new rules, procedures, hours. All for one year, then you start it all again when they start primary school. That is just me being stressed, let alone what it is doing to DD2 dealing with moving from childcare to kinder and after kinder care (she still has some childcare). Poor kid is so confused. Kinder either needs to become part of the school system (like Tassie) or become a proper part of childcare.

I hadn't realized system was different in Tasmania - just looking at it quickly - that is what I thought kinder was here before I looked into it - and that seems to me a good way of doing things if kinder is about preparing to go to school becoming part of the school system seems a good fit (oh and I love the straightforwardness of the age system there 4 by first of Jan for kinder and 5 by first of Jan for school).

Hiya! I'm currently working part time, two days a week. I've been feeling like I'm really unproductive. I don't know if its just the job or being 2 days means I just get the overflow. My prev role was very challenging but i enjoyed it coz I felt like I'm always producing something.

Is anyone in similar position?

Yep I'm ft and bored as hell. Think it's time for a change just puts baby making on hold

hi everyone, thought id join in here if thats ok?

im working full time and have a 2yo thats in full time child care :( i have some mummy guilt about that, but thats a whole other story :rolleyes:

we have had issues with the whole kinder situation as well, our local kinder (2 minutes from home) only does half days, yep real helpful for working mums! :wall:

we are tossing up between sending her to a private ELC that then runs into the private Primary school and private high school in a setting which would really suit her, or keeping her at her child care center who run a kinder program in a setting which she loves but isnt as great education wise.

Hi Crumpet - yes the kinder hours are so awkward -if I end up going back full-time we had thought about private ELC because actually works out same as daycare cost wise for five days, but as would still have DS in daycare that would be awkward, plus I like the more play based approach of the daycare center (and they wouldn't go to the private primary or high schoool as finances wouldn't allow). I am still trying to decide if is worth putting name down for any 4 year old kinders - in case I don't have a job next year (my current contract is only till July) - because maybe if didn't have a job then would ditch some of the childcare and do that.

Veus - I currently have the opposite situation - work is way too demanding of my brain power and time at the moment - the days are just too long - dropping the kids off at 7:30 and picking up at 17:45 by time home just have no time. I think after this contract may try to get shorter hours just an hour less would be great - problem is unlikely to get an hour less and more money and CC fees are the same whatever time pick them up. Sometimes I think five days a week but just till 3:00 would be my preference but again the CC fees don't make that a good option.

I have in the past had periods where felt I was just killing time and not being very productive (one of those times was when part-time) - not sure I have any advice apart from a colleague did say to me that everyone has times like that whether full-time or part-time and not to place too much stock in the thoughts that I was being given the less fun stuff to do because I was part-time. Luckily for me I seem to be able to get enjoyment from most roles if I try hard enough (practice from when I worked in a factory on a production line every summer through uni). I also suppose when I was part-time before I knew it wasn't forever because I knew was planning on having a number 2. Now maybe it would be different.

A question - how do people deal with competing requirements from your and DH jobs? E.g. I do drop off, and DH does pick up - but if DH has to work late or something then I have to do both - meaning I have to leave early. So far it hasn't been too big a deal but I can see it becoming a problem - if one of the kids is sick at the moment DH would probably take day off, because I am a contractor so if I don't work I don't get paid (and still have to pay CC fees) - but as his job ramps up then that might not be so easy. Prior to kids - my job was the one that always took precedence because that earn't the money - and he didn't like his anyway - but now he is finally in the field he wants to be and likes his job. If only places were less focused on what you do rather than how long you are in the office.