Working Mummies Support Group

[wysiwyg]

Worked out that I work for $8.70 per hour bring home. That is after taking into account childcare (out of pocket) and loss of Family tax benefits. We are at that point where we are one minimum FTB A, so now we don't have to worry about what we lose there if DH or I earn more. Well only concern ourselves when we hit threshold of losing the top up amounts, Education Bonus etc. We are few years off that though and would be earning enough that those amount would not matter in the scheme of things.
My pay increases are negotiated, whereas DH has his written into his EBA.

Interesting way of looking at the figures - I just did mine and think works out at $15 while only in daycare three days a week but would drop down to $10 if end up having to go full-time. I suspect if I get offered to stay in my position come July it will be as a permanent employee instead of contractor so it is useful to think of things in this way in terms of what salary I would want, because salaried positions are often significantly less per hour (with understandable reasons I think).

In terms of organisation in mornings haven't found too bad, but I tend to have shower at work (I cycle or walk a significant part, and also push kids round to daycare so prefer this) so I hardly take any time to get ready and the kids I get them to pick their clothes night before and they just grab a banana and have breakfast at daycare (I do have breakfast before I go as can't leave house without breakfast - but DS does tend to get his mits on mine most mornings too). DH does pick ups so that is ok ( doesn't help in morning which is ok as his focus is getting to work on time so can leave 16:30 to do pick up), but he may have to travel with work soon for the first time ever (and mum will have gone) so doing both drop off and pick up will have to see how it goes.

Peanutter - we did think about DH staying home and he did part-time for a bit after DD to see how would go - but didn't work that well and also restricted him moving up at work - now a couple of years on he finally has a job he loves for first time in his life - something he has always wanted to get into. I did work full-time after DD for three months and I recognize some of your feelings about work and it did make me appreciate how it must be for a lot of dad's - I wonder if I have to do it again whether it will feel better this time or worse as previously was only ever going to be until number two arrived maximum.

[nothing2lose]

Ive always worked fulltime but went down to three days a week about a year ago. It's a much better life work balance.
It's made no difference to FTB, CCB etc as we've never been eligible but it means dd can do an after school activity on Friday whereas before she wouldn't have been able to do it.

We don't have before school care so I don't start work until 9.30am.

Dd is in grade 5 now. Not sure what we will do in a couple of years when she is in high school. Freaks me out thinking she will be home by herself for three hours, three nights a week (after catching PT home!) I guess we will cross that bridge when we have to cross it!

Eta - Nutter, we are all "fulltime parents", just some of us work outside the home sometimes

[peanutter]

We don't have before school care so I don't start work until 9.30am.

Dd is in grade 5 now. Not sure what we will do in a couple of years when she is in high school. Freaks me out thinking she will be home by herself for three hours, three nights a week (after catching PT home!)

Times have changed so much. From the age of 9, I had a key, and my siblings and I had before school chores, then we'd walks (2kms in the snow ... ok, no snow, but it was 2kms) to school, we'd get there early (because I've always hated being late) and then we'd all walk back after school, I'd cook them something to eat, we'd do our after school chores, and mum would be home an hour or two later ... if she was particularly late, or if it was my turn, I'd cook dinner too. High school was a train trip, sometimes after dark, after sports or choir in winter... All these things that just don't happen very often these days.

But come to think of it, we walked to and from school by ourself from age 4 even when mum was at home!

I'm not sure if these are more dangerous times, or if we're just more protective ... I wonder what I could and wouldn't be ok with my boys doing, and I'm not sure, because they're not of an age that I'd be letting them out and about alone anyway.

Anyway, I guess these aren't things relevant to being a working mumma ... they're just things I think about ...

Working mummy question: how do you treat public holidays? Eg: tomorrow is a public holiday, and I personally have to get some funeral things organised, and write an article I've been putting on the backburner for way too long, but normally, pre children, I'd stay in bed, have a long bath, catch up with a friend, read a book, see a movie, have a naked day, or something like that ... Now, I feel obliged to clean the house from top to bottom, and engage in meaningful activities with my children, and I get the guilts if I even consider having a lay in (because it means my DH can't, and it's his public holiday too!!) So what do you do?

[Astrid]

Working mummy question: how do you treat public holidays? Eg: tomorrow is a public holiday, and I personally have to get some funeral things organised, and write an article I've been putting on the backburner for way too long, but normally, pre children, I'd stay in bed, have a long bath, catch up with a friend, read a book, see a movie, have a naked day, or something like that ... Now, I feel obliged to clean the house from top to bottom, and engage in meaningful activities with my children, and I get the guilts if I even consider having a lay in (because it means my DH can't, and it's his public holiday too!!) So what do you do?

Nothing specific. DH is also home (he works full-time), so it often a balance between wanting to rest, needing to do things around the house. Sadly doing a specific activity for the girls often falls last. Like tomorrow, we will be wood cutting.
Sometimes I feel bad that we aren't doing some wonderful activity with the girls, but then they are so busy during the week with school/childcare/kinder, after school activities twice a week, I think some down time vegging around the house and helping us where needed is good for them.

[MummyNaomi]

In terms of organisation in mornings haven't found too bad, but I tend to have shower at work (I cycle or walk a significant part, and also push kids round to daycare so prefer this) so I hardly take any time to get ready and the kids I get them to pick their clothes night before and they just grab a banana and have breakfast at daycare (I do have breakfast before I go as can't leave house without breakfast - but DS does tend to get his mits on mine most mornings too). DH does pick ups so that is ok ( doesn't help in morning which is ok as his focus is getting to work on time so can leave 16:30 to do pick up), but he may have to travel with work soon for the first time ever (and mum will have gone) so doing both drop off and pick up will have to see how it goes.

I like the banana idea - DS will be able to have breakfast at out-of-school-hours care and DD at childcare if necessary so I will probably just either throw a piece of fruit or toast at them and let them have some cereal at care on our early mornings. My plan is to have a shower about 530am - eeek!! I am hoping DD will still BF morning and night so will need to factor in time for a morning feed too. DH leaves at 630am but I dont want to be waking the kids any earlier than necessary and turning them into early birds although DS is already an early waker. Am thinking if I am dressed and had breakfast I can wake them at about 615 and get them dressed, half fed, DD BF and out the door by 7. Will be doing school lunch and bag packing the night before.

I'll be going into the office Mon, Wed and Fri, but Mum has the kids friday so she'll just come down before I leave and sort out breakfast, clothes etc and take them to her house when they are ready. Have worked out that we can get by without after school care as DH finishes at 3pm, he'll just skip his arvo break and finish about 245 on Mon/Wed so he can pick DS up from school, and I'll pick up DD from care at 430 when I finish work. On my RDO and work from home day and I will have DD with me all day and just have to do the school run which I can do at the normal times. At this stage I plan to return to 5 days of work when DD starts school (so 2018).

I haven't worked out my wage per hour, but basically we cant afford to live on one wage - mortgage is too big. As much as I've enjoyed being a SAHM while on maternity leave (and this would be my first preference), the reality is I need to work if we want to continue our current standard of living. Have I thought about buying a smaller house and living a more modest lifestyle? Definitely! But in the end, we built our dream home 6 years ago to fill with a couple of kids and plan to live here pretty much fovever so the compromise is to work to pay for it all. I do enjoy my work though, I am good at it and it gives me a sense of purpose totally separate from being a Mum. I also find that when I work, I don't sweat the small stuff so much with the kids, as any time I spend with them is appreciated, rather than getting bogged down with being with them 24/7 and sometimes feeling like its groundhog day every day IYKWIM?

Peanutter your hours ARE sucky Totally get what you mean about keeping on top of everything. We outsource as much as possible - online grocery shopping delivered to our kitchen bench and have a cleaner to keep the house under control (I've been a bit naughty and kept her while on maternity leave hehehe this time)

[Astrid]

I do admit, not working scares me. It is easy to look at the now and we can get through things now by making some sacrifices, but I have read too many stories about women who have stayed home and are now in their 50/60's with almost no super, no home and no hope. You just never know what life throws at you.

DH has almost died a couple of times, my sister died at 39 leaving two small children and a husband. I know the reality of how quickly things can change, we almost lost every thing when DH became ill. At least if I am working in a good, stable job, I can still provide for the children, I will have some super, I will have a home that I own.

Working also means that we can build a good, environmental, energy efficient home, which will also help our future as a family.

Not writing this to justify my working, but more to share my situation and feelings with others doing similar.

[Trillian]

I do admit, not working scares me. It is easy to look at the now and we can get through things now by making some sacrifices, but I have read too many stories about women who have stayed home and are now in their 50/60's with almost no super, no home and no hope. You just never know what life throws at you.

DH has almost died a couple of times, my sister died at 39 leaving two small children and a husband. I know the reality of how quickly things can change, we almost lost every thing when DH became ill. At least if I am working in a good, stable job, I can still provide for the children, I will have some super, I will have a home that I own.

Working also means that we can build a good, environmental, energy efficient home, which will also help our future as a family.

Not writing this to justify my working, but more to share my situation and feelings with others doing similar.

Oh I definitely understand that reasoning. While we haven't had the life scares that you two have, you are so right in saying you don't know what the future holds. At least by me getting my education degree I will be able to earn a good income to support myself and the kids if I had to. I know my super is sooooo low atm. We had plans that DH would contribute to mine, but there just hasn't been the spare cash the past few years so it hasn't happened. Hopefully now I'm working i will be in a better position to contribute to it.