I had my D&C yesterday when I should have been 10 weeks. I felt out of sorts from when we found out baby had lost it's heartbeat but I still just haven't been able to cry. It is sort of 'matter of fact' and numb.
Last time I cried once I was in the waiting area outside the operating theatre but this time even then I didn't cry.
What is wrong with me?
I feel I should cry but I just can't.
After all these losses and D&Cs have I become so cold hearted I don't care anymore? Is it so blase now?
I feel deep down that this was our last pregnancy and no matter what steps we take now I'll never have another one yet even then I don't feel too upset. Maybe a last hope that my instinct is wrong...
Maybe it is just all to much and my mind has blocked it all out and cut off all my emotions.
Anyone else ever felt this way after numerous losses?

Ely - 9wks, D&C
Annabelle - 31 weeks C sec stillborn
Joey - 11w4d D&C
Ethan - 7 wks D&C
Maddy - 9w5d D&C
Max - 10wks D&C
3 losses at 6 wks poor betas
numerous chem pgs.

confused about my emotions
Judy