I am devastated!!!

[Shell08]

Going through many years of IVF, we finally recieved our BFP!!! I had never even got to that stage as my AF always arrived before I was able to go for a pg blood test, so my DH & I were beside ourselves of happiness!!!!
On Wed, we went for our 7wk scan to check for a heartbeat, and unfortunately there was not one, they said my embryo looked like it had stopped growing at 5wks...we were devastated. I am now waiting to miscarry (which is a horrible feeling knowing that it is coming) or go in to have a curette. Just wondering has anyone been through this??? When has your AF arrived knowing that you are about to miscarry, I am now at the 8wk stage and the waiting game is killing me.
I have decided to take this week of work, as I work in child care which makes it even harder . I feel very numb and scared, and do not want to deal with anyone (ie.family & friends) and it makes me even more sad to think that as they are my support through this journey.
Thankyou for reading and listening to me vent, you can't help but to get down, this is the closest I have ever become towards having a family, and just like that it is taken away.......

[jmmum]

So sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been through the same. I played the waiting game to about 9 weeks then had a D&C hated the idea of it being over but not over. Nothing anyone can say can make you feel better. Take care.

[feeb]

I am so sorry to hear this sad news.

I had a missed misscarriage at 8 weeks and had a D and C as i did not want to wait for it to occur naturally and OB told me there was a chance if it happened naturally that I still may need a d and c if not complete.

Huge hugs

[~Aveta~]

hey girl, i've never had to go thru the stress of ivf but yes, i've had three m/c this year, and two i chose to go home and just wait it out till i started to bleed. first time i had the D&C as i was too far along to cope with the waiting. second and third i went home and it happened within days...see my signature for more details..and PM me if you like.i personally would be asking my Dr now, after a week, because you now have three weeks of a non-viable baby and my worry would be infection, it's horrible and i hate to say it so i'm sorry and i don't mean to offend, and nothing can help heal the grief but time. i'm so sorry for your loss, please take care of yourself and don't stress about family and friends, you just have to deal with it YOUR way.

[diva det]

i am soo sorry for you loss
i understand totally how you feel
I had a missed/mc last year that was a results of our 6th IVF attempt. To get so far, and then had it ripped away is devistating. It knocked me to my core.
Everything was going well and had even started to feel flutters- and then i went for my 12 week scan to be told that my baby had died the day before for no apparent reason.

My ob booked me in for a suction currett the next day. I was so glad to get the experience over.

Emotionally it took me months to get over the experience, especially when i was unsure when we would be able to afford to do IVF again. Also my DH had told me that emotionally he didnt think he had it in him to do another cycle. I lef the decision to him when he wanted to try again and the hopes of completing our family up to fate.

I started to rebuild myself emotionally and physically. Did a/puncture, lost a bit of weight, drank heaps or water, no caffeine- all in the hope that when DH yes- i was ready!

I was lucky enough that my DH said lets go for it in June this year. I rang the clinic to book in for my next cycle and then said to ring back when it was the first day of my cycle- it never came and here i am 20 weeks later!!!!
After 10 years of trying we got a miracle

What i am trying to say is that you will rebuild- you wont be the same person-how can you be! But hang in there- there is a shining light at the end of the tunnell
Speak to your OB about perhaps getting a D and C so that the pain physically can stop and you can start to heal- rather than being in limbo

take care of yourself and your DH- do things that make you feel better- plant a memory plant- eat rocky road chocolate (heals all lol), shop, go for long walks- what ever you can do to get you through the moment- then the day- then the week.
take care
we are all here for you

odette

[Shell08]

Odette, such beautiful words, thanks for your support...

[Shell08]

Thanks ladies for your replies, much appreciated!

Dragonfly - I'm new to Belly Belly,so I dont think I can PM you yet?? I will be calling my Doc tomorrow, I want a D&C, but I want it to come naturally more, just because I have had so many things happen in that region (ie.IVF needles, taking my eggs out. etc) for the past 2yrs, that I kinda dont want people to fiddle around there again, but I guess if I have to go & get it done than so be it.
I am just scared to miscarry as I have no idea what to expect, it's a horrible feeling, but your right, the risk of infection is scary. I am having slight pains, but that could be anything??? I also feel light headed quite often, dizzy, did you feel this way?
Shell08 xo

[~Aveta~]

Thanks ladies for your replies, much appreciated!

Dragonfly - I'm new to Belly Belly,so I dont think I can PM you yet?? I will be calling my Doc tomorrow, I want a D&C, but I want it to come naturally more, just because I have had so many things happen in that region (ie.IVF needles, taking my eggs out. etc) for the past 2yrs, that I kinda dont want people to fiddle around there again, but I guess if I have to go & get it done than so be it.
I am just scared to miscarry as I have no idea what to expect, it's a horrible feeling, but your right, the risk of infection is scary. I am having slight pains, but that could be anything??? I also feel light headed quite often, dizzy, did you feel this way?
Shell08 xo

this may be TMI, sorry if it disturbs you.

i can fully understand how you wouldn't want any more intervention there! and of course there's always the risk of Asherman's syndrome (adhesive scarring of the uterus) and other complications after a d&c. if you have started to have pains, chances are that nature is taking it's course but i'd still have a good chat with your OB. i think there's a chemical way to start the process when it's a missed m/c? i had morning sickness all three times even as i started to spot...the first was a "missed miscarriage" as they assumed the poor bub's heartbeat had stopped somewhere between the 7 week scan and the 9 week, and i hadn't done more than lightly spot. no pain, nothing. the other two hadn't developed past a sac stage, and i'd had rythmic cramping all along, probably from implantation. i think my body knew all along they weren't viable.

with the second i started to pass blood on the thursday, had an u/s that showed the sac had detatched, but didn't pass more than blood and clots till the sunday afternoon. and luckily, it wasn't much worse than heavy period cramping so i didn't take painkillers till the sunday.

third time was like an very heavy period, again, and a small sac a few days later. both times i had a follow-up ultrasound a week later to be sure my uterus was empty. no antibiotics or intervention needed, thank goodness.

i hope your Dr is more helpful than mine was!

[LittleMissK]

I know that you are probably sick of hearing it, but I am sorry for your loss.

The exact same thing happened to me 4 weeks ago and I was so devastated. The doctors never really suggested the idea of letting nature take its course and I was so angry and scared that I wanted it over and done with immediately. I even fasted in the morning before I went to see the doctor on the off chance I could convince them to do the D&C that day.

Whilst i am glad that it had it done, four weeks later I still have some ongoing symptoms with pain and bleeding. Make sure the doctor tells you all the risks and what to do if you have any problems.

Do not be afraid to go back to the OB afterwards if [Uanything[U] feels a little off