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Sara, huge hugs to you today as you have to do what no mother should ever have to. Im thinking of you today :hug: Just wanted to let you know your thoughts echo mine re the unfairness and why me, that my baby should be alive and kicking. As for TTC, I dont know what to do either. All my plans for next year have changed and sometimes I cant handle knowing that. I hate the morning...when you realise its real and not a dream. Its all so unfair, we dont deserve this, none of us do :hug:
DG: I just wanted to come in and see how you were doing. Have you thought about seeing what a different dr says about the possibility of trying again?? Are there any options. I know its been a few weeks but the hurt doesnt just go away - did you look into some counselling?
:grouphug: for everyone else especially Sara xxoo
Sara was thinking of you today.
The only thing that got me through my losses was the TTC and the next pregnancy. But thats me. I know others that need time time heal.
Uni would be great out of the way, but gees its a bloody hard job to go back to for another year while you should have been holding your Reid. Not sure if i could do that without another one in my belly.
Telly: I am so sorry i missed your post....hugs
OP: i love your sig, but wish you had never had to do it!
DG: the remembering it all over again is the worst. You should be putting your hands on your belly in the mornings feeling your baby kick!
This thread is breaking my heart. It's just not fair. :grouphug:
So much sadness and heartbreak for such nice people. And no answer as to why.
:grouphug::
I think for me it's easier when there is no answer, because if there is a reason, if this is intentional.... then yikes, I can't stomach that.
True dat Maruschke.
Well, apparently my cousin's daughter ISN'T pregnant. TBH, I won't believe that until July next year when she was apparently due. Her mum is incredibly secretive and deceitful - none of her family (even her other kids) found out about the last bub until a month before her EDD, even though she'd known the whole time! :o
Sara, follow your heart. It knows the right path to take. :hug: I wanted to TTC too immediately after my early mc. I can only imagine if I were further along like you, I'd only feel more strongly that ache to be pg again. :( I wish things were different. I've been thinking of you today.
I fell off the edge. My mum left today. I feel like she took the veil covering my grief with her.
The pain is almost unbearable. I feel so empty. Like there's a huge hole right in the core of me.
My uterus is playing tricks on me. I keep having spasms which feel just like baby kicks. Its torture.
My hand is still instinctively moving to my nestle my belly.
I'm watching "One Born Every Minute". There's a couple on there who've been through the torture of miscarriage aswell. 4 of them. She needs a c-sect but they have a beautiful baby boy - Jack. He's so beautiful.
My boy was beautiful to. :cry:
I keep going over how I would have pulled him up out of the water when he was born in May. How happy we would have been that he was a boy. How happy that he was healthy. But then I remember.
I think i've decided that we'll try again in February. One Dr said wait 2-3 months. Another said 6-12 months. And ofcourse DP heard this and said not until 6-12 months and is pressuring me to go back to Uni.
Its more than just going back. If I go back and finish next year, I will have to go straight out into the workforce. Then that will most def put TTC off for at least 2 years. Thats so long. So I think Feb is good enough time for my body to recoup.
I feel so, so $hit that my posts are all about me :( I'm so sorry. I wish I could give you more support.
Sara i have seen you around BB for years now. You are always there for others..... Dont feel bad for it being about you! Vent, cry, scream. No one expects you to use your much needed energy to focus on anyone other than yourself!
By god i wish it wasnt your turn, but please let us carry you, please!
Sara: i don't know what to say to you but im sending you :hug: please don't feel bad, you concentrate on yourself :hug:
hi to everyone else
knock knock... it is with a heavy heart that I come in.... I am fairly certain I am in the beginning stages of a miscarriage, I have had brown discharge for 2 days straight, and tonight ever so slight beginnings of pain. My symptoms have certainly faded in the last two days, and the waves of grief have been coming and coming... I feel not hopeful, nor negative, I just am in it, I don't know what's going on scientifically but 'i know'... An answer either way would be useful I guess, because then the dance of not knowing what is going on could end and I could be in one side and truly be in what is being asked.
Today as I cried and cried my husband silently rubbed rose oil all over my body, I never knew how moving the grief would be, I never have felt this kind of utter sadness. I have my faith in the bigger picture, a picture that I cannot see nor understand, and in moments that can hold me and support me, and then there are just the moments where the sea of grief is a huge mountain before me......
:( ladybird :grouphug:
Ladybird I am sorry you find yourself in here. I knew within myself 3 days before my middle m/c so I understand. Please don't give up hope and know that if it is what you think it is, we are here to help you, support you, listen to you vent and try to help you mend. I better bunch of women you will not find xxx
THanks Ladies.... I am still here today none the wiser. Still discharge but also now feeling sick again, arghhhhhh what is going on??? I have an US referral so I am going to ring first thing in the morning, and today I am trying to stay steady in the not knowing...... *deep Breath*
:hug: Ladybird.
I hated not knowing. Its painful stuff.
How many weeks are you? Could it be around the time AF was due?
Deep breath sounds needed here ladybird. Thinking of you and hope beyond hope that the u/s shows a wonderful suprise!
Hi Sara,
Firstly, now that I am feeling a little clearer I got a chance to read up the page a bit, thank-you for taking the time to reply even though you are deep in grief yourself. I really appreciated that. And I am thinking of you and your journey right now xxx
I am about 8 weeks along.... supposed to be anyway. Still no changes today still discharge, no pains and nausea again this morning. I wonder how long it takes for the levels to go down??? What is the period connection you talked about???
Tegam, thanks for replying, I have taken a huge breath and felt to get on with things until I know either way. THis is totally out of my control and dropping into that surrender has been quite an experience. Not long until I can call for an appointment, I guess the nerves will build again then.
Sorry to hear your news Ladybird. I think you should make an appointment right away because being in limbo like that is really hard.
AFM - I called SidsnKids on Friday because I wasnt coping. I mean, I cant even go out to the shops without having a meltdown because there is someone who is either pg or has a newborn. So I spoke to a lovely counsellor who was so kind and let me cry as much as I needed to and get it all out. She understood what I was going through because it had happened to her too. She will call me back this week to see how I am.