Hello, I have just found out that my baby died at approximately 9 weeks. I have to wait for it to come out or go for a D&C if not apparently, if nothing in 3 days then I have to see the doc for a referral to the hospital. Can anyone please tell me how long it took between finding out and the baby coming out? And does anyone know if the pain lasts long or if you can still do things like normal after a miscarriage or D&C? I have a big event coming up next weekend and don't want to miss it, I have already lost my baby, that's enough for now. :-( Wish I could cry but the kids are watching. I just want to bawl my eyes out. So sad!
So after reading online it sounds like a missed miscarriage always requires medical intervention. why would my doc tell me to wait a few days for it to come out?
Last edited by Cheezels; February 7th, 2012 at 04:44 PM.
I also had a missed miscarriage, on the 11/11 I went for my "dating scan" to be told to go to my DR, i knew something wasnt right I should have been 16w, Went to my Dr who read the letter stating there was no HB and bubs was only measuring 7w3d. He told me to wait a week, have another scan and take it from there as my dates might be out.
18/11 Internatal scan at hospital again showed no HB so I was referred to the Hospital for a D&C on the 19th i started bleeding went to the emergency dept, I didnt pass everything had to wait 3 days for a D&C I was only sore for 2 days after the D&C.
I dont mean to scare you with my story but this is my story.
I wish you all the best in the coming days and Weeks.
I had a missed miscarriage 10 years ago. I should have been 14 weeks and my baby had died at about 11 weeks. There was no suggestion for me that I would wait to miscarry naturally. I had also just lost my fiance and TBH I wasn't in much of an emotional state to make any decisions for myself and maybe my OB (who was a friend who knew my personal circumstances) did what he thought best for me by not offering the chance to miscarry naturally. I had the D&C the next day and was pretty sore and crampy for 3 - 4 days but was able to get back to work in two days. Took some nurofen and that helped with the cramps.
I'm sure everyone is different, but I've had one D&C and five natural miscarriages and TBH I found the D&C easier to recover from physically and emotionally. Some of my natural miscarriages have resulted in me being close to bedridden for up to a week.
I'm so very sorry you have lost your baby. I hope whichever way you decide to go at least physically things are resolved for you quickly. I know emotionally things will take a lot longer. Go gently in the meantime, and lots of hugs for you.
I'm so sorry for your heartache right now, I too was incredibly upset when I had a missed m/c in 2009. It was highly recommended to me that I choose to have a d&c, and I did because it felt like the 'quickest' way for me to begin 'healing and recovering' and 'trying again'. I have never regretted my d&c decision, and as much as I still willed for THAT baby to be 'alive', I didn't want my 'womb to be its tomb'. Sounds weird I guess, but that was my thought process at the time....I was living minute by minute at that point, overcome by grief.
Im sorry for your loss. I had 3 missed miscarriages last year and a D&C with every one. Each time my body showed almost no sign of letting go so I unfortunately had to have the D&C. Its your body, you can choose to wait as long as you like before having the D&C, but be aware it could take weeks or even months to happen on its own. Your Dr has probably given you a couple of days to see if it happens on its own.
You said you dont want to cry in front of your kids, I understand that. Is there anywhere private you can go for a couple of minutes? Its really important to grieve because you are going through such an awful, traumatic experience. I know how hard this is.
Im so sorry for your loss Cheezels I also had a missed mc, at 11w, my baby had died at 9w and there were no signs my body was going to release the baby naturally and I was offered a d&c. I had my procedure the next day and I'm very grateful I didn't have to wait. Whilst it was very emotionally traumatic, physically I was up and about the next day with only mild cramping and regular period like bleeding. Some people do prefer the option to miscarry naturally and I assume this is why your dr gave you this option?
Cheezels, as Porsche said you are under no obligation at all. Have you told them you won't be in? Or do you need to call in the morning?
If you call in, just say you are unwell and will be getting a certificate.
Just a word of warning - emotionally, I was a complete mess for two weeks after the procedure. I was fortunate (???!!??!?!) in that I was actually on annual leave for a week when I miscarried but I ended up needing an extra week off - so I told my manager what had happened.
She was great and said take as much time as I needed.
But you do not have to tell them.
As for your DH - mine stayed at home with our kids, to give them as "normal" a day as possible. Mum came in with me - you will not be able to drive yourself home nor take public transport due to the GA. Nor will you want to, I'd say.
Anyway mum waited in the reception area with me, but then I was taken in by myself, and told mum would come in when I was in my gown and ready to go. But when I started bleeding heavily, they rushed me in and mum just had to wait. She didn't get to come in to recovery, but came into the day procedure area where you go once you are out of recovery but not ready to go home yet. So she sat with me there and got me to call DH, who'd been anxiously texting her, until I was ready to go home.
Hope that helps. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
Cheezels, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. We went through a similar experience a month ago. I was given the option to wait to m/c naturally or go for the d&c. Since the u/s indicated the baby had stopped growing over 2 weeks earlier, I was told it could be a long wait and then still need the d&c anyway. Like you, I wanted it over so I could start to move on, so we went straight for the d&c, but we did wait 4 days to get the Dr I wanted. I told my employer I needed time off for a surgical procedure. With my history (multiple IVF and lap for endo) they thankfully didn't ask any questions.
As suggested above, I got a certificate from the OB to cover the time off work. The thing is, it had "**** Obstetric Group" written in huge letters in the letterhead. Thankfully my manager said he didn't need any supporting documentation for my leave application because that one wouldn't have left much to the imagination even though the letter itself just said I was unfit for work. I could just see someone reading the letterhead and blurting out "are you pg?". That would have gone down well... not.
Physically, I recovered very quickly from the d&c. I actually felt perfectly fine when I left the hospital that night (about 6 hours after the procedure because I fell asleep after returning to the ward) and my bleeding was manageable, although it lasted 2.5 weeks. Emotionally, I'm only just starting to get my head above water (today is exactly 1 month after the d&c). I cancelled all my obligations for the week of the d&c because I didn't know what to expect, but physically I would have been fine for all of them. I was just a basket case, so I only went to one that would have caused bigger problems if I missed it (my mum's birthday was 3 days after the d&c and we hadn't - and still haven't - told anyone about the pg or mm/c, so she would have been hurt and not understood why I hadn't gone).
My husband & DD came to the hospital with me, but left when they came to take me to pre-op. There was a reasonable wait between admission and going down to pre-op, so I was glad they were there. The hard part was waiting on my own in pre-op for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably about half an hour. DH only came back to pick me up after I was discharged because we couldn't have DD sitting around for hours waiting.
I hope everything goes smoothly tomorrow. Take care and be kind to yourself.
I'm so sorry for everyone in here's losses. Life sucks sometimes. :-(
Thanks so much! Op is today (I'm starving already and it's only 8 am). DD will come with DH and we will just see how it goes, we have lined up someone to look after her if need be. Hopefully it all goes well and is over quickly with not too many problems. I really need to move on.
Hello. Not sure if anyone's still reading this. When you went through your loss chezels, I was celebrating confirmation of my first pregnancy. We thought we'd been lucky and conceived quickly.
Just over a week ago, our first ultrasound showed a very small baby, with heart beating.
Last Friday I had my routine dating scan for the twelfth week and insensitively been told that my baby had no heartbeat. We were gutted. Speaking to my gp and obs, I wanted to wait for things to happen naturally, but by sunday I had cried so much and felt in limbo, we decided to go in for a medical miscarriage (misoprostal).
After 3 hours I passed my tiny little baby, after 2 hours of light contractions. 1 hour later I was beginning to pass the placenta and was bleeding heavily which was scary. The pain was mild. We went to the local emergency department and was left bleeding all over their chairs until I was last. I continued to pass the placenta which horrified me, there was so much more tissue than I had expected. I just wanted someone to tell me that I was ok. The nurses knew nothing about gaenocology (i wouldn't go back there). Finally the doctor came (not a gaeno or obs..) and she decided to remove whatever she could. I was still bleeding heavily and passing tissue. It was an awful experience. I've been tender ever since.
My bleeding is light now, but I am concerned that if I have not passed all the tissue I will have to have another round of tablets or may eventually need to have a d&c. I want to avoid it as there is a risk of puncturing my uterus.
My husband and I are having a burial tomorrow. Still dealing with the emotional side, though my body has recovered well, better than a d&c by the sounds of it. We are both home for the week, hubby has been with me every step of the way.
Well thank you for hearing my story so far, if anyone is there.
Missed Miscarriage
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