I should be in the hospital having a baby today but instead I have to put on a happy face and pretend everything is fine while I celebrate mother's day with my mom and mother in law. I lost my little one in December. I was almost 5 months pregnant. This is killing me and all I want to do is stay in bed all day and not have to see anyone. I am a complete mess right now. No matter how hard I try I just can't snap out of it. sometimes I just want to go to sleep and not wake up.