thread: "You should be over it"

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  1. #1
    Registered User
    Add WinterRaven on Facebook

    Apr 2011
    Melbourne
    23

    "You should be over it"

    Since a loss at about 17or so weeks of a baby boy I've had another baby, he is beautiful and I love him dearly, but I still miss my angel. No one seems to understand, I "should be over it" now I have a "replacement", but my boy isn't a replacement, he's his own little individual, just like my angel was, they are both my kids and I miss my angel still. Just needed to vent xo

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Add TeniBear on Facebook Follow TeniBear On Twitter

    Oct 2009
    Lalor, VIC
    5,051

    It really sucks when people don't understand


    Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jun 2008
    In snuggle land
    4,499

    people can be so insensitive and hurtful.

    If someone who says that has more than one child, you could gently ask them, if one of their children died , how long would it take them to 'get over it'? After all, they have another. Though some people just dont get it and never will.

    I dont have anything to do with people who dismiss my children.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Aug 2008
    Tasmania
    595

    How could anyone ever "be over it" A good friend lost a little girl at 19 weeks she had 1 boy and now has another boy and a little girl she ist "over it" and I dont expect her to be yet some of her family treat it like it didnt happen that must hurt so much. sorry for taking over but it is close even though I havnt been through it I saw her go through it and the good and bad treatment

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Brisbane
    5,039

    Some people just dont think and when they talk they are trying to make themselves feel better not you!

    Take care and be kind to yourself!

  6. #6

    Feb 2008
    With my awesome cherubs
    2,975

    Huge hugs .... People SUCK!! I get told because it's been 8 years it shouldn't effect me anymore but it does in a big way.
    He will always be your baby boy no matter how many other children you have and if people don't get that then they lead very sheltered lives.
    Huge hugs


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Geelong
    3,438

    I don't even thing it's possible to 'get over' the loss of an angel.

    Regards,
    Dianne

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Add Rach75 on Facebook

    Oct 2005
    Moura, QLD, Australia
    3,754

    I got told this by my MIL after I had Jack and this past xmas Jack was talkign about our family xmas tree and he said Katy had her own special decoration and do you know Katy is my big sister OMg the ruckus this caused how dare I tell Jack about Katy its not fair on him etc...bloody idiots

    anyway rant over

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Member

    Sep 2010
    North West Victoria, Australia
    3,003

    I got told this by my MIL after I had Jack and this past xmas Jack was talkign about our family xmas tree and he said Katy had her own special decoration and do you know Katy is my big sister OMg the ruckus this caused how dare I tell Jack about Katy its not fair on him etc...bloody idiots

    anyway rant over
    Are you serious?? Katy existed. You can't just sweep her under the carpet as if she didn't.
    My mum lost our sister (we always refer to her as our sister) at 21 weeks. She was between me and my older sister.
    We have a picture that represents her, as my parents never took a picture of her, as she was only the size of a 16 weeker and because it was 1990 and I guess you didn't do things like that so much back then.
    As she was born in NZ she was declared a miscarriage at 21 weeks. The law back then was you had to be past 24 weeks to be a stillborn.

    Anyway, my mother isn't over that. She was a complete wreck at Amelia's 21st birthday. She cried for days. Even at the 18 year anniversary she was a wreck.

    You don't get over things like that.
    And people shouldn't be telling you that you shouldn't tell Jack about Katy. Thats crap and its made me angry to read that!

  10. #10
    Registered User
    Add Samcougar on Facebook

    Apr 2009
    NSW, Australia
    272

    People who havn't been through losing a child don't seem to understand entirely what it is like. No.. other children can't replace ones we have lost, as you said they are their own individuals. I was asked by a woman 4 weeks after we lost Riley if i was over it.. and don't worry you'll have more.. WTF!!
    anyway huge hugs hun don't worry about their crappy opinions!