Should I stop trying to TT??

[kazaraz]

My daughter is 2 & a half, a few weeks ago so come to me with pants and nappy off and said she wanted to go on the potty. Even though I had a bad dose of the flu, I tried for that day ... only to have her wee her pants over and over. In the end I thought that I would stop and retry when I was feeling up to it. Flu passed ... so I thought we could try again! Mia is now refusing to sit on the potty, didnt want knickers on and wont even respond to chocolate bribes? I dont know whether to just give up and revisit in a few days and try it all again, or keen persisting? Any advice from someone who has been through similar?

[Amity]

I'd start again and persevere... for a few days. If she doesn't like it, try again in a couple of months.

[kazaraz]

Mmmm, its a bit frustrating as she doesnt want knickers on and then when I put them on I think she is holding on. As she can go from breakfast to after lunch when I put her nappy on to put her to bed. She told me once she needs to do a wee and just didnt make it to the loo, she wee'd as I was putting her on the toilet. She has also poo'd in her pants once ... but as yet we havent done anythign on the toilet. She is a bright girl, she tells us when she is doing stuff ... so I think it might be more to do with her sister being in nappies still!

[kas]

I'm hearing you I am going through exactly the same thing atm. DS is the same age as your DD and we have good days and bad. Some days he wants a nappy but will sometimes still tell us if he needs to go wee or poo. Other days he will want big boy undies (the terry towelling ones with the plastic inner so they don't leak through) and will tell us when he needs to go. It is still not a 100% success rate. And although sometimes it is extreamly frustrating - like when he goes backwards and forwards to the loo 5 times with no result but the sixth to do a poo, i keep reminding myself he is only learning and even if it interups me or i need to clean up where his wee has gone on the floor as his doodle was not aimed properly into the potty not to push the point. I am in no rush, and judging by DS neither is he. With the warmer weather upon us and being outside alot more DS has also in the last few days taken joy in weeing on the grass- propbably not possible for your DD. My suggestion is to just go with the flow. Either persevere at where you are at or give it a few weeks and try introducing it again. My experience from DS#1 was that the more i tried to push the further he would run away from it. When he did start we were done in less than a week except for o/night.
Maybe try a star chart, and everytime she tries to sit on potty she gets a star/stamp and when she is succesful she gets 2, or gets a small treat. My Ds loves the idea of being able to flush the toilet after he does a wee or poo when he is succesful.
Good Luck

[Visitor7]

Nina used to do that as well. She started realising when she was weeing or pooing at around 16 months, but it's only been in the past month that she has actually started going to the toilet. Now she's doing really well, goes to the toilet herself and we get hardly any accidents.
I would wait a couple of months and start again. She'll start if she's ready in the meantime.

[kazaraz]

Yeah I think I will stop and try again in a couple of weeks and see if she is any more interested. I just worry as she is 2 and a half now, and its getting to the time that everyone is asking is she toilet trained. Makes me feel bad to say no, not yet!

[mbear]

and its getting to the time that everyone is asking is she toilet trained. Makes me feel bad to say no, not yet!

pftttt to them . Do what works for you. . I started DD#2 (31 months) a few months ago, and she was weeing everywhere - except the potty . AND she thought it was funny. I stopped it for a few months, and here we are again...and i must say its going really well. We're going well with the wees, put poos are another story. Im being really cruisy about it. If we have a morning at home then i will pop knickers on her. This morning she did 2 wees in the potty.

IMO i really believe for my children (and patience) the older the better. My DD#1 wasnt fully TT till 3 years and we never had an accident. I didnt even attempt no pullups at night till she was 4 years. I actually found her TT experience easy peasy, i really believe it was due to her age....

Good luck.....

[Visitor7]

IMO i really believe for my children (and patience) the older the better. My DD#1 wasnt fully TT till 3 years and we never had an accident. I didnt even attempt no pullups at night till she was 4 years. I actually found her TT experience easy peasy, i really believe it was due to her age....

I agree. Nina has been relatively easy to tt, and I think it's because of her age.

[~breeze~]

I started TTing my DD when she was about 2yrs old. I stopped as I knew she wasn't ready. I then tried again at 2.5yrs, once again she wasn't ready. I felt like I'd failed because alot of our mothers group kids were TT & also DD's friends seemed they were mostly TT. I decided to give her more time. I'm glad I did, I tried again when she turned 3 & there were no problems, she was quite obviously ready.
Some of the mothers group children have gone backwards & are back in pull ups again now but I dont have any problems with DD. Even through her daytime sleep she's in knickers but at night time still in pull ups. (haven't tried knickers at night time yet)
I say don't push her, it sounds to me like she's not ready. know it can be really frustrating for you as her mother but I think the best way to go about it is to try every couple of months & when she's ready you'll know (& so will she!)

Wishing you all the best

[kazaraz]

Thanks girls .. its nice to know its just not us! I will give it a break and try again in a few weeks. Mia is a bright girl and knows what is going on, but she just must not be ready to give up nappies yet. Look forward to the third installment ...

[-becky-]

Hey Kaz

AS you know, I am going through the EXACT same thing as you! It is so frustrating hey? And I am the same, people are always asking me, are you toilet training yet... etc? And I feel embarrassed to say no....

Liam always tells me after he has done a wee (well it is obvious....) but just doesnt tell me before he needs to. Grrrr. We will sit on the pot for like 20 minutes, and he will no sooner be up with jocks back on and he has wet himself.

MAaybe it would be better to just try them in a afew weeks hey...

[kazaraz]

I know Becky ... we have stopped now. We will try again in a few weeks and see how she goes. I know one thing, I am getting over changing nappies. Some days I think my job is a nappy changer, clothes washer and picker upperer. Its really getting to me at the moment. We have had a lot going on with my dh's family and I think I am just letting things get to me. I am so grateful to have beautiful girls and sometimes I wish that I didnt stress over stupid stuff. I really think I need to get Mia into childcare, just for a bit of a break. She seems to know how to push my buttons really easily lately. Added to that, Tay seems to be more storng headed than Mia .. so we might be in for trouble! Sorry to whinge or vent, whatever you call it.

[Jennifer13]

Mmmm, its a bit frustrating as she doesnt want knickers on and then when I put them on I think she is holding on.

Kaz, part of toilet training is them learning to hold on, so I take this as a positive sign. It took my DD a whole week to do an actual wee on the toilet for me, but once she'd done it, there was no holding back! She's really good now, days go by with no accidents.

First of all she learnt to hold on, so there wouldn't be many accidents. She did a wee on the toilet at preschool twice but nothing for me for the week. It was hard, but I persevered since she was happy to go on the toilet (as long as she wasn't playing - so I'd give her a 5 minute warning) and liked her undies (she chose them herself). Wasn't upset when she wet herself, but would come and tell me (first for her as well).

Try to take heart in each little step she makes. Oh - and the sticker chart worked brilliantly for us once she 'got' it!

EDIT: By the way, I picked a time that worked for me - four days straight I knew I'd be at home so we started on Day 1. Yes, she needed another few days, but at least I was in the headspace to keep at it! We resolved to try for 2 weeks and if no joy, we'd go back to nappies.

[kazaraz]

Maybe I could send Mia to you Jen?

I know, we will go back in a few weeks and give it a go I think. I still need to buy a sticker chart, which I thought would be easy to find, but no such luck!

[all girls]

My first was the slowest she wasn't fully TT until 3 and a half she just wasn't ready, and when people ask just say you have started but use nappies when out it's none of their business some people think they have a right to comment.

I found Summer the best time to TT as you prob know it's easier when it's warmer and it will all come together try not to worry too much she wont be in nappies at her 21st LOL...

Good luck and remember 1st is hardest then the next want to copy their big sis/bro and is heaps easier

[*charmalea*]

big w has "toot" toilet training packs , it gives you a potty and all the charts and stickers ... also toys r us has a good tt selection too !! GL with it all ..

i saw my ds looking for the potty , once he found it he squatted down in front of it and held on to it for balance and pooped infront of the potty he knows where wee and poo go , but wont sit on the potty or toilet .. its almost like hes scared of them .. when ever he does a wee or poo he takes his nappy off and walks away or tells me that its dirty ..

i am so confused about how to start toilet traing ..

[kazaraz]

thank charmalea, i just need the chart and stickers as i have the potty already. i know, where to start is the hardest thing. everyone keeps telling me they will let you know when they are ready .... waiting waiting!

[Liz]

I'm leaving it for a bit too kazaraz. DS doesn't seem to be holding on, he pees soooooo frequently it's not funny. Day 2 was a bit more of a success because we were outside and we used the laundry toilet, but it was pretty full on, so I still only did a half day again. I don't think I can do it on my own to be honest, it's too full on, and I have other things to do! LOL.

What frustrates me is he can pee at will, so he has enough control to make himself wee when he's on the loo - he's never not weed on the loo - but he doesn't seem to have the control to hang on.

So I've kinda given up for a bit too. We're going to Canberra for a few days tomorrow, so we might try again next week when my mum might be able to help.

We'll see! I'm confident we'll be trained before 3 though