She actualy also saw a paed who said to try really increasing his fibre intake (apricots, pears, prunes) to soften his stools to make it easier to push out.
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She actualy also saw a paed who said to try really increasing his fibre intake (apricots, pears, prunes) to soften his stools to make it easier to push out.
:yeahthat::
Best of luck. You never know he might be better than you think.
I had a friend who told me once that when her son didn't want to use the toilet she put a ping pong ball in the toilet and used to make it a game for him to try to pee on the ball...it's not a long term solution, but it may at least get him to start weeing in the toilet?
She said the ball doesn't flush away either, it just stays in the toilet...so you could either have a scoop to get it out when he's done (and keep it in a container next to the toilet) or just leave it in there - lol.
Good luck hun! :)
can DH take him out in the backyard and 'hose' the fence with him? :dunno:
i was just about to say, maybe he could go with DH, both at the same time. I like the idea of giving him something else to do instead of just peeing, ping pong/teddy etc. maybe he is just really bladder shy, if you said he could go to the loo on his own and just leave him too it, would he be able to manage that? It sounds like hes pretty determind, but he wont be able to hold on all day, so at some point tomorrow he will have to do it somewhere, i think whoever said, just get him to help clean it up and make an off hand remark about it being easier in the toilet was on the right track!
GOOD LUCK!!!
I was thinking the same as olive. Worked when my ds was tt. Good luck
Yeah, I was also thinking maybe he'd be keen to do some watering with his daddy.
Have you tried getting him involved by choosing a kiddy toilet seat of his liking. Or maybe a potty instead? (I know DS prefers the potty to toilet). Maybe the toilet worries him...?
I like the idea of cleaning up together and talkign about how much nicer and easier it would be if he used the toilet.
i thought about this overnight and im going to go against what others have said, and say that maybe this tough approch maybe harsh :dunno: have you sort some expert help at all? id hate to see you do this and it cause even more issus such as a kidney infection from him holding on or constipation etc.. as it will only makes things in his mind worse
Antheia, has your ds ever actually been to the loo? How did that go?
Is there something he's afraid of, like the size, falling in, the flush? My gf's boy refused to poo, but promised he would start doing it when he turned 5 and did. Have you asked him when he intends to start?
It must be so hard to see him upset. What ended up happening yesterday?
No he has never been before.
Tried to find a potty today but they are all too small for him so i got a smaller seat that goes ontop on the normal toilet seat.
He still won't go. He hasn't had a nappy on since this morning and hasn't done a wee at all. Ive been giving him drinks and asking if he needs to wee every half hour to an hour but he just says no.
He's very frustrated with me for not allowing him to wear a nappy, but there's been no real trantums so far.
I thought about seeing if he wanted to do it outside but we have neighbours directly behind us and there's no fence so they can see into our backyard and that wouldn't be a pretty site to see lol.
I'm staying strong but he's just refusing to wee at all. I'm not sure what to do.
Years ago I got a sample of toilet crackers, so you feed the toilet before you go, itms? Or there's an Elmo DVD or countless books for you to read together? I'm pretty sure dr Phil had a technique he said was foolproof, maybe look there?
He must have some awesome bladder control, determined, too!
GL
Yes, he is the most stubborn child i have ever seen. I bought some lego but that didnt help at all. Tried asking him if he wanted to go alone, no answer. Tried saying did he want to wach a dvd in there while he went and got told that was stupid. GAH!
Sounds like he's quite anxious about it, do you think? Does he come to the toilet with you?
On the positive side, the fact that he has not peed all day shows what excellent bladder control he has. He is obviously ready for the toilet, and will go eventually.
Perhaps take the new lego away until he does go to the toilet. He knows you have it now, use it as bribery?
My DD1 is like your DS. She is 3 and a half now but hasn't actually been toilet trained for that long (and only started not having a nappy for poos on the weekend - I'll come back to that :))
My DD1 has been able to control her wee for months before we started toilet training - I know because I would leave her without a nappy on for hours but I put one on her at nap time and she would go so in the end, I followed the Positive Parenting approach. We filled her up with liquid ... as much as she would drink (I gave her water to start with but because I wanted her to really need to go, we also gave her flavoured milk, which she never has) and did the role play with a doll. I acted it all out for her the doll playing her role and me being the mummy, then I let her be the mummy and I said the part of the doll and then finally, she was the doll and I was the mummy ... we did everything in the role play from when you feel like you need to go, taking off your undies, doing a wee (one of those dolls where water goes through them works really really well), putting undies back on, flushing toilet, washing hands and then a treat.
The role play went well and we let her go off and play. It took FOUR hours for her to need to go (the kid has a bladder like a steel trap). We went through the role play and put her on the toilet and she just screamed and screamed until I think she couldn't hold it anymore and the wee just came out in the toilet. It took a lot of coaxing to get her to sit there but she did it and she was so happy with herself afterwards. We had another incident like this one the next time she needed to do a wee and the third time, she was doing better - still a bit traumatic. It took 2 days for it to click with her. She had a couple of almost accidents where she started to do a wee in her undies but stopped before it wet more than her undies and she went to the toilet. She has never had an accident with wee because she could do it all along but was petrified.
Poo has been a different story again. She knows we still put a nappy on her at night and so she just waits all day for that night nappy. We decided last week not to give her a night nappy until after she is asleep. Bedtimes have been attrocious - running backwards and forwards from the toilet until 11pm. We have been tearing our hair out not knowing what to do then all of a sudden it clicked. It wasn't even at night time. It was during the day and it just happened when she was doing a wee - we weren't even with her, she just called out and said she did a poo. We had tried bribing her with everything and it still wasn't happening but then she just did one day and it all clicked.
She had an instance a couple of months ago where she did poo in the toilet and we thought that she was doing it but she stopped and got really really constipated and we ended up giving her a laxative and a nappy so she could go when she needed to. It was really traumatic and painful for her in the end.
I have been gently explaining to her for months that I really don't like changing her nappy. It is not a nice job and I don't enjoy doing it. I have just been telling her how much I appreciate it when she does use the toilet because it is nicer and I am so excited that she is growing up and can do things for herself. I don't know if that helped at all but it just all clicked. She has also been going to the toilet with other kids when we are out and have visitors so she can see other kids doing it.
I don't know if any of this is helpful to you but if nothing else, take from it that you are not alone. I have been there, DD1 is not yet 4, but I think regardless of age, it's frustrating when you know they can do it and they just refuse. It is emotional and difficult at times. I found poo particularly hard because my tough love did lead to more than one occassion of severe constipation because she just refused and that led to trauma of it's own. Talking to the Paed, she said kids do it in their own time and it will just click one day and her son didn't toilet train with poo until he was 4. I felt better hearing that, but still didn't entirely believe her about it all clicking.
With DD1 it just seemed to be a phobia of using the toilet to wee that we had to help her get past and once she did wee, she was so excited even though she was screaming right up until the wee came out, then she just stopped with a really surprised expression on her face. She just needed to experience it to know she could do it.
Anyway, just wanted to say good luck with your DS. I hope it happens for you soon :hug:
We told him he cant open his lego until he at least tries to go to the toilet. So its sitting on his bed unopened lol. Man he is tough.
DH asks if he wants to go with him but he never wants to.
I'm thinking maybe anxious but also a lot of embarrassment. He hates me asking if he needs to wee and goes all quiet. So ive stopped asking.
When we went out this earlier morning i tried putting undies on over the top of his nappy and he wouldnt have a bar of it. Literally ran away from me and not in a game sort of way, he seemed worried.
Right now he is just wearing shorts. No undies or nappy. Still drinking and no wees. I can just see it now, he's going to be so busting he'll just wet his shorts before he asks to wee on the toilet.
Hi Antheia
I'm hoping that you get a great result from this because my daughter is similar! Firstly, I don't think you're being harsh. I did something similar with my eldest when she was perfectly wee-trained day and night but insisted on a nappy for her poos. I bought a packet of cheapies and then when they were finished, that was it! She held on for a couple of days and the first one was quite a performance :o but after that she never looked back. There comes a time when all else fails that some harder actions are called for :D
My second is in the process of training but also has a bladder of steel. We have been taking a break because it was doing my head in - one day she went 6 hours without a wee :jawdrop: Of course, then when it comes it's a flood and there's no stopping it to get even part of it in the potty or toilet. She goes to daycare 1 day a week and they are happy for me to bring in knickers this week. I need to psych myself up again as she needs to have some basic skills before moving up to the kindy room next year. I figure that once it clicks, she should be pretty good with that kind of control, just need to find the key!
Good luck, look forward to hearing how he goes.
Maybe you need abit more lead up... talk to him for a few weeks about the dimishing nappy supply perhaps. Let him see how many nappies are left and that they are running out- letting him know he will have to wear undies then. That way he has some preparation and understanding.
Perhaps try having a puppet tell a story about how he was scared to go to the toilet but then he tried it and it was okay. It sounds like he has some fears/anxiety about it for sure and trying to gethim to share exactly what that fear is mayhelp. Remember that fears are rarely rational so don't expect something logical and brush it off as nonsense if he reveals it. My friend's son is scared to do poos in the toilet because he thinks it will be huge and go all overhis bum... at least she knows that and can talk about it with him even though that is what happens in a nappy!
Is he still at kinder? Did his teachers comment on any developmental concerns they noticed? Do you feel concerned about his behaviour? Given he can physically hold on he clearly doesn't have an issue there but there could be a barrier he is facing that is making this really hard for him and finding that out first may help.
All the best!!!