I have absolutely no experience in this area, as we haven't yet reached toilet training as Jacob is only 15 months old.

Having said that, I'll share with you what happened to a friend of mine's little boy. He had been successfully toilet trained and then had a little accident, which ended up with him getting poo on his hands and on the carpet. It was getting it on his hands that apparently freaked him out and really upset him. As a result, he has regressed and gone back to wearing nappies for now. Even though my friend didn't make a fuss of the mess, he still got very upset by it and has been using nappies now for a little while, but they are just letting him go through that until he's once again ready to use the potty/toilet again as she felt that trying to do it before he was ready might upset him further???

I'm not sure if this has helped at all Fiona.......as I said, I've not been in this position to offer any suggestions from personal experience, but I hope you don't mind me sharing that about my friend.......

I hope you find a solution that works for all of you......