Toilet Training General Chatter

[thepixie]

I had a quick search and I couldn't find a general chatter thread... (sorry mods if I have missed it).
I thought those of us who are toilet training might like to have somewhere to share our trials and tribulations! I know I would.... We have been taking it slowly over the past few months, we are to the point where we have been going out without nappies for a week or so but to be honest we have had accidents (there is usually one in a day when we are out and about) and I have practically been giving myself an aneurysm with anxiety over when/ where the next one will happen - even though I have everything to clean it up. I think I just have anxiety about the embarrassment factor. I snapped this morning after she did a wee (with no warning whatsoever) all over a chair and the carpet in the local council offices where I was getting a refund on some parking permits. I put her in pull ups because I am just not enjoying going out with her anymore with worrying about it. But I feel guilty because day care are absolutely.adamant. that you MUST NEVER GO BACK TO NAPPIES OR PULL UPS. And she does beautifully there - they don't even worry about her anymore, she hasn't had any accidents there for nearly two weeks. And apparently she tells them when she needs to go - she never tells me
We have good days and bad days, but I have to expect an average of one accident a day. To be honest it is really getting me down so it would be nice to talk to others who are going through the process.... because all I seem to see on FB are friends whose kids decide one day they are going to wear knickers and never have a single accident
It would be nice to think I am not the only one who feels like I have no idea what I'm doing!

[onthefly]

We were making slow but steady progress but are now back in nappies almost full time. Don't know what's going on. In fact, it's a drama to get him in nappies also. And he's started denying when he's wet/dirtied himself.
I say toilet or nappy, no wet pants. What's his latest comeback? - I will wear no pants then.
Honestly, if ihe's not ready, then that's fine, we'll do nappies again (man it was nice having so few to wash though). But even that's a big drama. As with all matters parenting, I'm just fumbling my way through

[loulabelle]

Great idea. We are slowly trying to tt ds too. He does all poo in the toilet and will tell me when he needs to go. Wee is our problem. He won't do it anywhere but home unless it's outside. He has a lot of wee accidents, I'll ask him if he needs to go and he'll say no them two minutes later he'll do a huge one in his pants. Other times he'll just come up and tell me he needs to wee. It's strange, he obviously knows when he needs to go but just won't say anything.

The other thing he does when I'm not looking sometimes is take off his pants and wee on the floor then ask me to come and look. He knows he's not meant to do it, he's just testing me. Arh, it's so frustrating!

[thepixie]

Oh marcellus it's just nice to know I am not alone here! DD was fine around the house using the potty with no knickers on but in the last week or so she has just stopped using the potty unless I actually sit her down on it. She will just stand there and wee on the floor.... Which is so weird because before she was taking herself to the potty with no problem. I am wondering if it is because we have started her on the big toilet as well and now she wants to use that - but she can't do it without help, which she doesn't ask for, even if I'm right next to her, and just ends up standing in a puddle!

[Heaven]

Oh good thread coz I have NFI what I'm doing! lol. DD just decided she wanted to use the toilet one day a few weeks ago. So when we're at home now she just wears undies around or goes nude and she runs up to me and says 'toilet!' when she needs to wee. She only has accidents when she's busy with something else and doesn't want to stop to go to the toilet. Like if we have visitors over she won't want to miss out on all the fun and won't tell me when she needs to wee and just do it on the floor and then if I ask her if she's wee'd she will deny it whereas any other time if she accidentally wee'd she would tell me straight away and go to the toilet to finish. So she's actually doing it on purpose not wanting to go to the loo at those times. I just ignore it and clean up and remind her to tell me.

Poo's are a different story! If she needs to go she will keep coming and telling me and I put her on the toilet and she sits for a second then says 'I tried, done!' and want to get down. Until eventually she can't hold it anymore and she's racing to the toilet in the middle of it, lol. I don't think she gets the idea it doesn't just happen straight away like wee and she has to stay there for a minute. And she also seems a bit scared of doing it on the toilet too She will often just wait til a nappy is on when we're going out or for bed time to do it.

Anyways, looking forward to getting any tips from you all! I wasn't thinking DD would toilet train until after 2 but seems like she decided earlier. Would be good if she did TT early before the next bub comes though.

[thepixie]

Heaven, DD will sit on the toilet longer if I read her her favourite books or offer her something like a pack of tiny teddies that take a while to eat - maybe try that for #2? Also we put the potty in front of the tv and she will sit there (well she used to sit there, now I have to plonk her there) and do her business quite happily. Loulabelle I hear you on the "no" followed by a massive wee. I wonder if DD really has much warning the thing I don't get is how she is so successful at day care... maybe because it is so regimented it is easy to fit in. At home we are doing different things each day so it is hard to be really routine although I take her to the toilet religiously every 1.5-2 hours.

[onthefly]

Picking a toy to take or a book to read worked with DS in the past. Don't really want to do that all the time though

Anyway - my goodness, he just did a wee in the garden... voluntarily and by himself

[Arcadia]

Watching with interest. I don't really know if dd is ready. She will use the potty if nude and is prompted (ie I see she is about to poo so I tell her to sit on the potty) but she doesn't say she is weeing or needs to poo (although she used to say this about three months ago). I kind of feel I missed the best opportunity a few months ago, but it's so darn cold here still, I just couldn't have her without pants on.

I hear you on the anxiety factor though...I feel like I can't relax until she's in a nappy. Gah, do we really have to train them?

[Doing my best]

But I feel guilty because day care are absolutely.adamant. that you MUST NEVER GO BACK TO NAPPIES OR PULL UPS. And she does beautifully there - they don't even worry about her anymore, she hasn't had any accidents there for nearly two weeks. And apparently she tells them when she needs to go - she never tells me
We have good days and bad days, but I have to expect an average of one accident a day. To be honest it is really getting me down so it would be nice to talk to others who are going through the process.... because all I seem to see on FB are friends whose kids decide one day they are going to wear knickers and never have a single accident
It would be nice to think I am not the only one who feels like I have no idea what I'm doing!

I just wanted to let you know that my DD was going great at daycare (very few accidents, and wearing undies) for about 2 months before she went accident free at home. One day she just refused a nappy at home and we haven't used one in the day since. And that was a week I had plans away from home 3 days, and she did really well!

[thepixie]

Thanks DMB that's encouraging! something similar for us!
Marcellus for watering the garden!

[thepixie]

Oh and Arcadia I know what you mean! When she spends the day in knickers I can't really relax until nap or bedtime when she is in a nappy... Its like giving up a security blanket!

[tk1999]

Hi everyone, I wouldn't say we are technically TTing but DD has started using the potty or toilet for wees and poos, she is currently 16months and after a bad case of nappy rash from teething (acid poo) she started telling us the minute she did a wee or poo so we could change her and put more cream on, we took advantage of her telling us and started asking her if she would like to do wee/poo on the toilet.

She will often say yes, often say no and often say yes and then want to sit on the potty with her nappy still on - we will get there slowly LOL

I don't know what I would do if she were to TT now as she is such a petite thing that the knickers would just not fit her - she is size 00 on the bottom.

Looking forward to sharing this TT experience with you.

[Laranna]

Oh good thread pixie 'cause I have NFI where to start with TT. DS has not shown any interest whatsoever. I've tried to encourage a few times but he just asks to have his nappy back on. I've been starting to worry a little as all the other kids in playgroup are pretty much TT now. In saying that though, he has asked me twice today to change his nappy. Usually, he would run a mile and would happily sit in a wet nappy all day if I let him.

[thepixie]

She just did a massive wee all over our quilt!!!
FML

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Ohhh i'm in, GREAT THREAD.

DD1 has started asking to wear knick knicks so i figure if she's asking then why not give it a go.
She's happy to sit on the potty we have been using it before bath time for months now and although she doesn't always go we have had some success in her using it.

I decided while it was a tad warmer yesterday i would put her outside with some knickers on, she played for a while and ended up going 2hrs without an accident, we came inside and she kept crossing her legs, asked if she needed to wee and said NO.
2min later "OH DEAR, WEES MUM" she was looking down and had only just started.
She was very upset she didn't get to the potty and that her knick knicks were wet.

Last night we went and let her pick out some knickers (just a 4 pack for now) and a SPECIAL pair of Dora undies.
She asked to wear them first thing thismorning, we got through breakfast and then 20min later she cried and said OH NO MUM.. so we rushed to the potty and she finished a couple of dribbles there.

I think she's figuring out the feeling of needing a wee and we want to encourage her to use her knickers whenever possible, even putting them over her nappy when she has to have one on.

Months ago when she did her first wee on the potty SIL said "WHAT ALREADY" and i felt like i was forcing her to do something she shouldn't.. what is the general age for TTing.. she's 26mths now and although i am not phased if she DOES TT now or not i think she is showing interest.
I think SIL was jealous as BOTH her children were not interested in TTing at all so i am ignoring the "IT's TOO EARLY" comments.

[Aligater]

I get the frustration my DD is realy good if she is nudie but but put her in panties and we have to wash I dont know how many a day and she wont tell us at all if she is in a nappy the joys of independant little children.

[tk1999]

ZF - I'd hate to think what your SIL would say about my 16mth old TTing

[Taurean]

ZF - I was talking to a friend about the 'right age for TT' just the other day. She studied early childhood studies at Uni and has worked in childcare for over 10 years. She was saying some kids TT around 2 but it's not that common. She said it's more the norm (and more successful) around 2.5-3 years. She said although their brains are aware from an earlier age that they are doing a wee or poo, apparently their brains aren't mature enough until 2.5-3 yrs to know the urge to wee or poo, ITMS. She also said it's common for toddlers to stay in nappies at night although TT during the day.

In saying all that though, one of friends has TT her 22mth old in no time - her DD just decided one day she wanted to wear 'knicks' and that was that! LOL! My childcare friend said that is unusual though but not unheard of.

Good luck!