thread: Toilet Training stubborn 3yo

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Feb 2009
    2,031

    Toilet Training stubborn 3yo

    I obviously would like to get Harry toilet trained before the baby arrives - and he is 3 next week so not really too young to understand the concept. In fact, he knows all about going to the toilet - he has watched Daddy and big brother Sam a few times. He also knows when he needs to go. When he is having his shower, he screams no at his little man and holds it - but won't use the toilet. Insists I put a nappy on him for it.

    Take him near the seat with the hole though - all hell breaks loose.

    Any ideas on how to make it more appealing to him. Can't really appeal to his "wear big pants like Dad" because he isn't interested in stuff like that. The limit of conversations he graces us with is whats going in, not whats coming out. That and anything mcqueen. Ugh. Its another stress I have. My kids are smart - they just don't bother conversing much at that age.

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jun 2005
    Blue Mountains
    5,086

    My DS is 3, and he manages to stand and wee now and is very proud of himself for weeing just like daddy hehe. Perhaps put something in the toilet for him to aim at or something? Might make it a bit more fun? He's been really good with going to the toilet since he started standing, coz he doesn't have to take his pants right off or anything.

    We initially did a sticker chart on the fridge, this was in December, so he was 2yr9mths old then, and this worked fairly well. We had a milkyway taped to the end of the line of stars to keep the reward right in front of him hehe.

  3. #3
    Life Subscriber

    Jul 2006
    Brisbane
    6,683

    I wouldn't push it hun. I know how frustrating it is when they know what to do but just won't. But my experience is that they will do it when they are ready, and pushing just makes it take longer. My DS1 who is now 4 has only just started going by himself when he needs to, in the last couple of weeks. Before that we had to keep "making" him go. My other DS trained himself at just on 2 - just one day asked to wear undies and has had them on day and night ever since, with only a very odd accident. So it goes to show that all kids are different and are ready at different times. When speaking to the paed and MCHN about DS1, they assured me that some kids do just need to be a bit older - 4 is not unusual.

    The other consideration is that the toddler will likely regress when the baby arrives. So now might not be a good time to start, as it is likely you will have to start all over again after the baby arrives anyway (some time afterwards when things have settled down).

    I'm not sure that I've told you what you want to hear, but hopefully I have been able to help. GL.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Feb 2009
    Central Coast NSW
    592

    I've obviously never done it - my SIL had hell with my nephew - he is 3 & 3/4 and has only JUST been put in underwear full time as has gotten over his 'toilet phobia'. Sounds like he was bit like yours, totally knew what was goig on and didn't communicate about it, would go in his nappy, would go and HIDE when he had to do a poo and afterwards, and chucked a tanty even seemed scared of the toilet. They tried bribing him with lollies - that prob would have worked earlier except that he is in care at my parents and my SIL parents as well and 3 different locations did not make for consistency. I was watching a show the other day called the Dr's and they were talking about toilet training and one of the things they recommended was putting toddler in undies and when they have an accident not berating them or punishing them or anything, but getting them to assist in the clean-up so they have to deal with/understand consequences. I don't know if I would use that or anything (am not looking forward to TT in the years to come) plus sounds messy, but apparently some parents sweared by it so ? ?
    PS - Oh, and this is gross - the way they finally got him in undies, was by letting him pee outside on the lawn instead of in the toilet (at first) so he could 'GO' without having to face the dreaded hole.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jun 2006
    In the middle of Pink and Blue!!!
    921

    Ok well i was in the EXACT situation as you. Lachlan was due in october and Cody was 3 in the january after. So from about 2 1/2 i was really trying to get him to use the toilet but NOTHING worked. It was soooooooooooo frustrating all i wanted was for him to go the the toilet before lachlan was born so i only had one child in nappies. Did it happen NOOOOOO

    I gave up about 2 weeks before lachlan was born i just had had enough and was heavily pregnant and just not in the mood. So once lachlan was born it was like a miracle happened all cody wanted to do was to go to the toilet it took like two days. I put it down to this was his way of getting heaps of attention. Because everyone who came over would be fussing over the new baby and he was getting heaps of attention too because he was being a super big boy and going to the toilet.

    Honestly when they are ready it will take NO time at all. Just last weekend Lachlan who is 2 1/2 started going to the toilet and now only 5 days later i don't have to remind him to go he just goes even poo's. No nappy at night either he has gone 2 nights in a row without wetting the bed.

    Hope this helps
    Good luck
    Nikki

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Mar 2009
    1,400

    Stubborn almost 3yo here too!!! After showing interest in tt - I decided to give things a go here. She resisted all encouragement from us and point blank refused to cooperate. I was completely frustrated as she was going at Nanny's and childcare - also in all possible public loos. After giving up trying to convince her/nag all the time she did a complete about face and began asking. It has been really easy with only 2 accidents - bc I wasn't able to move quick enough due to baby - I believe this is because she really was ready and keen herself rather than just me. This week she has just taken herself off with her step to go on her own. Boys may be a bit trickier - a friend used to get her boys to water the lemon tree to begin with....

    Good luck

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    Melbourne
    2,732

    I dunno what's worse, a subborn almost 3yo who won't use the toilet at all or one who uses it for wee but not poo and resists wearing a nappy LOL!! Flynn doesn't want to wear a nappy but just can't get the hang of poo on the loo. All I can say is I am lucky we are cloth-nappy users, because if you were always used to disposables I imagine cleaning poo out of jocks would be enough to make you sick LOL!!

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    Paradise
    4,473

    Maybe buy some Cars jocks and a cars wee target (google wee target) and he might be really excited to reveal Lightening McQueen. One of the things that excited Sarah with TTing was being able to wear Dorothy knickers (she went through a massive Dorothy stage). If Haz knows that using the toilet is a great way to get heaps of attention it may help when the new bubba arrives. Alternatively, you could strip him down, put sunscreen everywhere and let him loose in the backyard, and then pretend not to understand when he tells you he wants a nappy, he will eventually let it go in the garden.

    When he is ready he will let you know. I am leaving it until Em lets me know. Sarah decided that she wanted to go on her own (Daycare told me she wanted to use the big girl toilet and asked me to pack knickers and extra changes of clothes) and for a while we insisted on a nappy in the car and a nappy for each sleep. We no longer use nappies in the car, and have never had an in-car accident, and I need to get more mattress protectors before I am willing to let her go nappy free for sleep times.